Love Won't Wait
by RJLupinFan
Summary: Rose Wilson returns to help the Order and sees Remus Lupin for the first time in fourteen years since their painful breakup. Rose is overwhelmed and confused - does she love or hate him? Does he still care for her? And what's up with him and Tonks?
1. Prologue

Hi! This is the sequel to my story The Marauders - Broomsticks and Fairytales. It is starts in mid-OotP and goes through HBP to the end of DH. The story is mostly compliant with the books, except for the fact I've added an extra character, but she won't cause much changes to the main story, and I have to say this from now - that if you want to find out who Remus ends up with, you'll have to read on to the end! It could go either way.

**ATTENTION - the story can be understood without reading ****The Madauders - Broomsticks and Fairytales**** - but obviously - if you want to read that too, I'm not saying don't:D**

The story is told from Rose's perspective but theres _lots _of Remus, for all those obsessive Remus fanatics like myself.

I know I selected Romance/Angst but to honest I don't think it's completely of either one of those, and if I could have added a third genre - it would have been humor! I'd like to think there are many funny moments.

Also, I won't be updating as often as I usually do (i.e. not daily :() because I'm very busy these days. I'm hoping to post every 2-4 days though at least, and weekly if worst comes to worst.

So, on with the story!

**Hogwarts castle, 1981.**

* * *

The corridors of Hogwarts castle were unusually quiet for the early evening, devoid of the usual chatter of students. Except for one corridor, where a gargoyle had just parted from its position on the wall to reveal a large spiralling staircase, allowing for a hoard of young adults, Hogwarts professors and workers from the Ministry to noisily infiltrate the corridor.

"Rose?" said one young man with light brown hair, addressing the beautiful young woman who clung tightly to his hand. He looked anxious, as did most of the occupants of the corridor, though his expression was also one of steely determination.

"Yes, Remus?" replied Rose.

"Come with me, in here, for a moment," he said, indicating with his head, "I need to talk to you."

She followed his gaze to a small class room a few metres away. She frowned slightly.

"Why?"

"I'll explain inside," he replied nervously, his eyes darting across the corridor, landing on young woman with red hair and striking green eyes, "Lily?"

"Yes?" she replied, looking away from the two black-haired companions who were deep in conversation.

"Will you wait here for a moment? I just need to have a word with Rose."

"Of course, I'll wait here with James." she replied immediately, though her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Thank you," he replied, quickly moving forward into the empty classroom, with Rose clinging to his arm.

"Remus, what's going on?" she asked her as he closed the door, her eyes full of concern, "You're all clammy, and white."

"Something has happened," he said seriously, wasting no time, "Dumbledore just told me. One of the werewolves – Fenrir Greyback – he's working with Voldemort."

Rose shivered, despite the distinct warmth of the air.

"He's a death eater?" she asked sharply.

Remus shook his head, "No, not a death eater. He wasn't given that honour. But he is working with them. He's part of the pack I'm spying on," Remus paused, took a deep breathe and said, "And Dumbledore's spy against Voldemort said that Greyback suspects me of working with the order."

Rose gasped, and clasped two hands to her mouth in horror.

"No, no way!" she said as she lowered her hands. Her eyes were full of fear, "But Remus, this is dangerous! You need to pull out of this spy business! You can't afford to let Voldemort know you're working against him!"

"I can't," Remus insisted, "My work is important for the order. Greyback is trying to convince the werewolves to work for Voldemort. The order needs me to work against him, to slow him down."

"But Remus," she replied angrily, "Don't you know what will happen? They suspect you! They aren't going to wait to confirm anything; they'll just kill you off to simplify everything!"

"No," he said calmly, shaking his head, "Greyback can't afford to kill me. The pack is always loyal to each other. If the others find out, they will turn against him."

"But you can't be sure of that!" she said, her eyes searching his face desperately.

His eyes rose to meet her gaze. He looked at her distressed face with sadness and a hint of urgency.

"That isn't important now," he replied firmly, "No – just listen for a moment, Rose, don't interrupt. Dumbledore wants me to stay with the pack for a few weeks, without leaving like I usually do. That way it will look like I really am just one of them. That should shake of Greyback's suspicion."

Rose looked aghast, "Weeks? _Weeks_? You can't spend weeks with them, they're dangerous!"

Remus sighed, though he looked tenser than he was earlier, "I _have_ to Rose, it's the only option, otherwise I look suspicious."

He paused for a moment, watching Rose pace frantically back and forth.

"But that isn't what I want to talk about," he said, his brow creased in a frown.

Rose stopped pacing, and turned to face him completely, looking very pale.

"No?" she asked, her voice shaking, sounding almost hysterical, "There's more? Something more than the fact that you want to live amongst the people who probably want to kill you?"

Remus sat down on a nearby table, resting his head in hands for a moment.

"Yes, there's more," he replied, looking up, his expression deadly seriously, "This werewolf – Greyback – he's a vicious killer. He isn't like the others, he loves what he is. He even goes out of his way to position himself near his victims on the night of the full moon, so he can bite them, maybe even kill them."

Rose tensed at these words, but she did not speak.

"But that isn't the worst of it," said Remus, his jaw tensing, "No, the worst is his style. You see, he doesn't go for direct revenge, no, he targets friends and family – _children_ even, to make those who displease him suffer."

He paused for a moment, his eyes locked on Rose's, and for the first time, they were full of fear, as he said, in a quivering voice, "That means _you_, Rose. _You_ are in danger, not me."

Rose simply looked at Remus in shock, her eyes equally fearful.

"B-But he doesn't know me, does he?" she asked nervously, "He doesn't even know your real name, aren't you using a fake name amongst them?"

"I am, but it won't hold, especially not now that Dumbledore suspect that there is a traitor in the order."

There was a moment's silence during which they simply looked at each other. Then Rose shook her head, and said,

"I can protect myself, Remus, that isn't an issue. If worst comes to worst, I can hide. But what about you? How are you going to hide if you're _living_ with them?"

"No, Rose, you are _not_ safe," Remus said firmly, "As long as everyone knows you're my girlfriend you won't be safe, no matter where you're hiding."

"But you don't even _know_ –"

"Rose, listen to me!" he said forcefully. He stood up until he was right besides her, gripping one of her arms. There was panic in his voice as he said, "Listen, you will be target number one when Greyback finally figures out what I am doing – and he will. That's why, that's why –"

He paused, ripping his eyes away from hers, as though the words he was about to speak were to demanding to be formulated.

"Why, _what_? What is it, Remus?" Rose asked, though with the air of a person dreading the answer.

"That's why," he paused, took a deep breath, and said, "That is why we need to stop seeing each other Rose. We need to end this."

Rose looked like she was ready to faint, her face was ghostly white.

"Only – only until you finish your mission, you mean?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"No," Remus replied, the pain in his voice was impossible to miss, his eyes silently pleading with her to understand, to forgive, "I mean for _good_, Rose. For- forever. I'm not safe for you, as long as Voldemort is out there, you're in danger because of me, and even if he somehow, by some miracle, dies, I'll still be a danger to you…"

The tears rolled down her cheeks silently, her legs quivered visibly, as though they would give up on her. She grasped his arms with both her own, breaking his hold on her.

"Remus," she choked, "What are you saying? _How_ can you say that? After all these years?"

Remus did not meet her gaze, "I'm sorry Rose, you're better off without me. I've seen how our relationship has harmed your life. I have no job, no money. I'm a social outcast. I can't risk having children. I'm dangerous. I can never marry. No matter what you say, you are better off without me in your life."

"No!" she cried, her plea full of anguish, tears streaming freely down her face. She shook him frantically, "I don't care! I told you so many times, I don't care that you're dangerous! I don't care that you're poor! I love you, Remus, I love _you_. It's been _six_ years, six long years, can't you _see_ that?"

His eyes were oddly shiny, but his resolve did not falter, "I see an amazing young witch, wasting her life and time on a no body. I'm too poor, too dangerous, you deserve _better_. This is it; this is the end, Rose. Move on. You can find better than me."

"No! No, Remus, please, don't! You can't, you _can't_ leave me!"

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said softly. His speech was suspiciously calm, though his eyes betrayed great pain, "I have to leave now. Dumbledore expects me to join the werewolves in less than an hour. Take care of yourself. Don't worry about me. J-Just forget me, move on."

"Remus!" she shouted in frustration and agony, shaking his body back and forth, "Don't you _dare_ go!"

But he did not reply. He looked down at her, his expression returned to that of steely determination, though his eyes screamed in anguish.

"Goodbye, Rose" he said, taking on last looking in to her devastated, teary eyes. He escaped easily from her grasp and was out the door before she could pull him back, leaving Rose to collapse against the wall, her body heaving heavily as she sobbed.

Outside the door, a white faced Remus blinked back tears as he was confronted by Lily and James, both wearing expressions of concern.

"Remus, what happened? We heard shouting –" started James.

"There's no time, I have to go," he replied quickly, with admirable calm. He turned to Lily and said, "She needs you now, take care of her?"

"Of course, Remus," she said quickly, "But what –"

"Thank you. She can explain when she's ready – I need to go. See you."

And Remus hurried off down the corridor, his eyes finally giving up. He hastily wiped away the tears as the corridor echoed with loud sobs behind him.


	2. Fourteen Years Later

**Fourteen Years Later**

Rose Wilson felt like she had travelled back in time. The magnificent castle that stood before her towered high, looked exactly as she remembered it, with its many high rising towers. The expansive, snow covered grounds and the frozen lake called back memory after memory, some pleasant, others not so much.

She continued forward towards the castle door, pulling her thick woollen beanie lower down her head so that it touched the top of her black sunglasses. She knew she must look odd; no one wore sunglasses in the winter, but she was advice to disguise herself as much as she could on her visit to the castle. In the distance she could make out a snow-covered beech tree by the lake, and she smiled as she remembered the many hours she had spent with her best friend, Lily Evans, under its shade in the summer. Her eyes lingered on the frozen lake for a moment, and she could almost see four young, reckless teenagers, sliding on the thick ice, playing games that Lily and herself never quiet understood but enjoyed watching anyway.

She sighed deeply at the memory of the five friends she had not seen in over a decade. Three dead, one a murder on the run from the Ministry, and the other, well, who knew where the other was.

Rose shook her head gently, as though to dislodge the thoughts.

_It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live._

She smiled as she remembered the wise words of her former headmaster, and walked all the more quickly, suddenly very eager to see him again.

She entered the castle, happy to escape the cold wind, and her lips betrayed a gasp as she laid her eyes on the Entrance Hall. She grinned merrily as she took it all in; the Great Hall to her right, the four House hourglasses filled with gems on her sides and the magnificent marble stair case in front of her.

"Welcome back," she whispered to herself as she made her way to forward.

The castle was more as less as she remembered it; little had changed. The only difference was the eerie silence. Most of the students were away at home for the winter break, but the castle was not the same without the bright young faces running around and causing mayhem.

Rose soon found herself in front of the gargoyles that concealed Professor Dumbledore's office, but she did not enter it quickly as Professor Dumbledore had requested. Instead her eyes were drawn to a door a few meters away. She recognized it. It was thirteen years ago, but she still remembered it like it was yesterday…

"Hem, hem,"

The odd sound bought Rose crashing back to the present. She spun around to see a very short and toad-like woman. She recognized her immediately. Dolores Umbridge, Hogwarts High Inquisitor. Professor Dumbledore had warned her to steer clear of this woman. It was lucky for Rose that her face was so well hidden behind her large glasses and beanie. All that showed were her slightly red cheeks and nose and shapely lips.

"May I help you?" Rose asked coolly, without removing her sunglasses.

"I was just wondering what business you had, being in the castle? I assume you are here on the Headmasters invitation?" she replied.

The woman spoke with such an uncharacteristically girlish voice that Rose simply starred for a few moments before replying.

"Well, I don't think that's any of your business," Rose replied smugly, though keeping pretence of politeness.

And then, with so much as waiting for a reply, she turned to face the gargoyle, spoke the password (sugar quills) and allowed the spiralling stair case to carry her up to the headmaster's office. A satisfied grin played on her lips; she never could resist being rude to people who deserved it.

Rose knocked gently on the headmasters office door and seconds later, it was thrown open and she was gazing into the twinkling blue eyes of her former headmaster.

"Professor Dumbledore!" she cried happily, extending a hand which he shook welcomingly.

"Rose Wilson, is it?" he replied.

"Yes," she said, pouting slightly, "Didn't you recognize me?"

"I'm afraid I've not yet mastered the art of seeing through muggle-made Polaroid sunglasses and woollen hats," he said smiling, as he took a seat behind his desk and indicated that she should do the same.

"Oh!" said Rose, and she quickly raised her hands to remove her hat and glasses.

As she put the items down on the table her face was finally revealed. She was an exquisite piece, as part veelas always were. Her bright brown-green eyes, framed by thick, curled lashes were captivating, at the least. As she ran her hands through her long light brown hair where the hat had flattened it out, one would confidently say that she would not have looked out of place in the line-up of the finalists for Witch Weekly's annual beauty contest, though if one ever did say that to her face, one would be likely to suffer extreme regret as Rose, like many other women, find such contests degrading.

"I'm glad to take off those glasses; actually," she said conversationally, "I only wore them to disguise myself."

"A job well done, too," said Professor Dumbledore, "Though as a witch, I would have thought you could have transfigured your appearance?"

"Well, yes," she replied slowly, "But I'd rather not take the risk, not after seeing a colleague of mine become stuck with a very thick monobrow."

Dumbledore chuckled as he studied her warmly from across his desk for a moment as Rose did the same to him.

"It is wonderful to see you again, Rose. It has been a long time."

Rose nodded, smiling sadly, "I know Professor. I've wanted to visit for so long, but I – I just couldn't."

She paused for a moment as she remembered the tragic day that had stolen four of her closest friends, three to their graves and one to Azkaban. She did not wish to discuss that with Professor Dumbledore now though, now was not the time. To her relief, he nodded understandably but did not peruse the topic.

"I understand you have taken up residence in Australia? In your parent's home town?" he asked.

"Australia, yes, though in a nearby city, actually."

"Tell me about that."

"Well, the wizarding community had grown over the years while I was away, and is still growing. We have a Ministry of Magic now – though of course we call it the Department of Magic. I've helped establish a private school for magical students. Unlike Hogwarts it is not a boarding school, just a normal high school, though private, so the muggle government doesn't interfere. We masquerade as a prestigious Muggle school, and while we do teach the muggle curriculum, the focus is mainly on magical related studies. Oh, and I teach at Defence against the Dark Arts there," she added, almost as an afterthought.

"Defence?" said Dumbledore, looking pleasantly surprised, "Yes, I do recall you showed a certain aptitude for that subject. Very well, then, I suppose we should try to keep this meeting short, I daresay dear Dolores will be highly suspicious of any meeting I may be having."

Rose nodded in anticipation, sitting up straighter in her chair. It was time to discuss the real reason she had travelled across two continents to be here.

"I have already confided in you the fact that Voldemort has returned to full power, and you have, to my deep relief, accepted this. I thank you," he said, inclining his head towards her.

"You're most welcome, Professor," replied Rose, thought she could not smile back. Although she had known for a day now that Voldemort had returned to power months ago and that the world was ignoring it, hearing it being spoken by the world's most powerful wizard made the fact seem more of a reality than writing ever could.

"I want to ask you, Rose, if you are ready to join the Order again?" he asked seriously.

That was it. That was the invitation Rose knew was coming. And she was prepared to answer it.

"I am," she said simply.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore, smiling serenely, "I'm more than happy to have to have you back, Rose. Your service was invaluable last time, and I am sure it will be again this time."

Rose felt herself glowing with pride, as she always did when Professor Dumbledore himself spoke highly of her.

"There is still the issue of you're job though. I assume you realise you will need to take up residence here?"

"It's fine," she assured him, "It's summer holidays at the moment in Australia and school doesn't start again for another six weeks. And if I have to, I can take leave for a year; I spoke to my boss about it already."

"Thank you, Rose. I am sorry to have to ask this off you."

"Oh, it isn't a problem, Professor," she replied smiling, "To be honest, I look forward to it. I've been teaching there for almost ten years, I need the break."

"Very good," he said smiling, "Now, I'm afraid I can't give you any details about your task at the moment, as we are short on time. But there will be a meeting tonight at five, at the head quarters. I have also made arrangements for you to be given a spare bedroom, knowing that you have no home here. You will be living at head quarters, along with a number of other members of the order. All your expenses will be covered. Is that okay with you?"

"Fine, thank you, Professor."

"Excellent," he said again, now standing up, "I have arranged for the provider of the head quarters to explain matters to you once you arrive so you can be up to speed for the meeting."

He walked over towards an empty portrait amongst the many portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses.

"Phineas," said Professor Dumbledore as he tapped the painting.

A man immediately appeared in the portrait.

"You called?" he asked in such a tone that one would think he was simply bored.

"Please inform Molly Weasley that the new recruit for the order I mentioned to her earlier will be arriving in roughly a minute's time."

"Certainly," replied Phineas in the same bored voice, and he left his frame again. Rose could only assume that he had another portrait hanging at head quarters.

"A minute?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "That's much faster than I expect actually. I don't even know where headquarters is…"

"You shall be disapparating directly from here," he replied.

"But I thought we can't apparate or disapparate in the castle?" Rose asked, confused.

"Correct," he said, smiling, "But I have set up a small area in the corner of my office from which people may disapparate, provided they have my expression permission, and you do. The address is number 12 Grimmauld Place, London. Memorise that please. I have placed a fidelius charm on the headquarters."

Rose tensed as she remembered that it was a failed fidelius charm that had lead to the murder of Lily and James Potter.

"Who is the secret keeper?" she asked in what she hoped was a casual tone, though Dumbledores smile was too understanding for comfort.

"I am."

Rose relaxed; Dumbledore would never betray his own Order.

"I need hardly tell you that the location is a complete secret. Have you memorised the address?"

"Number 12 Grimmaulf Place, London," Rose repeated.

"Perfect," he replied, and then, his blue eyes twinkling, "It has been a pleasure seeing you again, Rose. I shall see you tonight at the meeting. Now, if you would just stand if that corner there please, and you shall be able to apparate."

It was not really a corner, as the room was circular, but it was a corner formed by a bookshelf with the wall. Rose stood there, and before apparating, looked up at her previous headmaster.

"It has been a pleasure for me too, Professor."

"Good bye," he said as she spun around, "I am sure you will find a pleasant surprise awaiting you."

Rose could not reply, for by the time he had finished the sentence, she was gone.


	3. Return Of the Prisoner

Rose Wilson staggered slightly as she appeared out of thin air on what she assumed was the worn out stone foot step of number 12 Grimmauld Place, London. It was fortunate that the street was deserted, because she was not entirely sure whether or not Dumbledore had placed a muggle repelling charm on the house.

Her thoughts wondered back to his office. A pleasant surprise, he had said. A nervous tingling sensation spread across her body as she considered that the surprise might be a certain person who she had not seen or heard from in over fourteen years… the person who had all but shattered her dreams.

Distractedly, Rose took in the appearance of the house. It was very old, the walls and windows were filthy and the black front door was extremely battered. Upon it was a silver doorknocker in the form of a serpent. She raised an eyebrow at this obvious sign of the Slytherin house and wondered why on earth Dumbledore would have chosen such a place for head quarters. Then, realising it was unwise to linger too long on footsteps, she raised her hand to knock on the door, but at that moment, the door swung open to reveal a short, plump middle aged woman standing anxiously by the door.

"Rose Wilson?" she whispered.

"That's me," she replied, as wondered why on earth the woman was whispering, "Would you be Molly Weasley?"

"Yes," the woman replied, "Come in, dear, and do keep your voice down in the hall way here, please; I wouldn't want anything to awaken."

Rose followed the woman quietly into the house, wondering suspiciously what kind of 'anything' they were being careful not to awaken. Rose took in the details of the hallway they stood in. If the house looked worse for wear from the outside, it was nothing to how it looked on the inside, though Rose knew that at one stage of its history the house would have been magnificent. Though for now, it seemed that the residents had sufficed themselves with extensive Christmas decorations which seemed to add to the cheer.

"Didn't you bring any luggage dear? Only Albus said you would be living here," asked Molly curiously.

"Sorry?" said Rose, tearing her eyes away from a series of aged portraits along the wall, "Luggage? Oh, yes, I did. It's in my pocket."

Seeing the confused expression on Molly's face, Rose laughed and explained, "I've put an enlargement charm on my wallet. All my stuff is in it."

Rose had indeed hastily thrown inside her possessions the previous night after Dumbledore had contacted her. Not being a fan of dragging along heavy cases, she had packed a normal (thought admittedly rather large) suitcase and forced it inside a pocket of her wallet.

Molly smiled and said, "Very clever, I'd have loved to do so myself on a number of occasions but I never did master that spell. Well, if you would follow me, I'll show you to your room."

"Thank you," she replied, and as she followed Molly down the hall way towards a flight she asked, "I'm curious, why are we whispering?"

"Oh, that would be because of one of the portraits by the door – shes the home owners mother, see. One loud noise and she starts screaming like a banshee, shouting about half-breeds and mutants and blood traitors. So, obviously, we prefer not to disturb her."

"Hasn't any one thought to take the portrait down?" asked Rose as they climbed the staircase, for it seemed the obvious thing to do.

"Oh, we've tried," said Molly, sounding annoyed, "But we couldn't take it down, we suspect she might have placed a Permanent Sticking charm to it."

"But, I suppose, it explains a lot about he house, doesn't it?" Rose said, frowning as she saw a row of shrunken house elf heads mounted on plaques on the wall, which someone had dressed in Father Christmas hats and beards, "That's disgusting! Are they dark wizards?"

Molly too frowned at the shrunken heads. Rose noticed that though the woman was distinctly kind-faced, her frown was severe.

"Well, I wouldn't say dark, entirely, but very close to it. Obsessed with purity of blood and nonsense like that."

Rose smiled as Molly led her up stairs, her respect for the woman rising substantially.

"How many other people live here?" she asked. It would be good to know just how many people – strangers – she would be sharing a house with.

"At the moment, ten now that you've joined. That includes the house owner, a friend of his, my self, four of my children and two of their friends."

Rose gaped at the woman's back in horror. _Ten_ people? She had not lived with anyone other than her parents for almost twenty years – since graduating from Hogwarts in fact. She only hoped this experience would not be too uncomfortable.

"Of course," Molly continued, perhaps sensing Rose's horror, "That is only because of the school holidays, once the children are back at Hogwarts, Arthur – my husband – and I will be moving back to out own home, and it will be just you and the two men."

Two men? Rose cringed, though Molly, too busy leading her forward, did not notice. Being rather prettier than the average woman, Rose had had plenty of sour experiences with men who do not seem to understand when it is best to keep their hands to themselves. She only hoped she would not have to suffer such idiocy here.

"Ah, here we are. Your room," said Molly, pulling open a rather run down looking door, "I've had to ask one of the men living in here to give up his room and share a room with the house owner, since there weren't any other spares… lucky for you he's very neat and tidy, though."

Rose stepped in to the room, and saw that it was certainly cleaner than the corridor at least. There was a large, old fashioned bed on one side of the room and an ancient though sturdy looking wardrobe on the other. The carpet was horribly worn down and the red curtains had lost their colour due to over exposure to the sun; while their edges were a deep blood red, the main body was a dull pink colour. Having lived most of her life in relative luxury, Rose was rather apprehensive of the room she had been given to work with.

"It's not fabulous, I know," said Molly worriedly, taking in Roses less than enthusiastic response, "But it really is the best we have to work with."

"It's fine, Molly," said Rose, smiling reassuringly, "Nothing a few well placed spells and a woman's touch can't fix. Lucky for me I thought to bring a rug…"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wallet, opened it and placed it on the floor in front of her. A swish of her wrist and a non-verbal spell later, a large leather suitcase started squeezing itself out of the wallet and settled gently on to the floor.

Rose was just reaching forward to pick up her wallet when she heard a male voice drifting into the room.

"Molly?" he called.

Molly stood in the door way and beckoned the man to come forward.

"She's here already, and no don't look at me like that, I haven't told her anything," she said.

"Told me what?" asked Rose, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, well, you'll see… he didn't want me to ruin the surprise…" she said anxiously, "He owns the house, by the way, he's letting us use it for head quarters."

Rose watched the door way curiously, wondering what, or who, this surprise would be. A moment later she heard footsteps at the landing and a tall, thin man which long black hair stood smiling in the doorway.

Rose stared at him for a split-second, a split second that could only be described as a heart stopping moment, before her face contorted into a mask of livid fury.

"Sirius Black!" she gasped, "_Murderer_!"

She was engulfed by emotion after emotion; pain, sorrow, fear, anger. It was unlike her to become emotional in front of others. For almost a decade her face was carefully arranged so that any emotion she felt was hidden deep inside and not displayed for the word to see. But not now. Even for Rose, there are emotions too strong to be hidden.

She did not register Molly's startled expression, all she could see was the murderer standing in front of her. Her eyes flashed red, and balls of fire exploded in her clenched fists. Smiling. _He was smiling._

She raised her wand and cried, "_Stup_ –"

But he saw it coming, and cut her off.

"_Expelliarmus,_" he said, and caught Rose's wand in his left hand.

Rose cried out in anger at having her wand stolen from her, and to her horror, Molly was rushing to her side, showing no fear at all that mass-murderer Sirius Black had just stepped into their midst.

"Rose, dear, it's okay, Sirius is innocent. Oh my, I knew you might take it like this –"

"Innocent?" asked Rose, her voice trembling with fury, her eyes fixed on the excruciatingly annoying expression on Black's face, "_Innocent_? What is this madness? He killed Peter, he killed twelve muggles, HE SOLD MY BEST FRIEND TO VOLDEMORT!"

Molly jumped in surprise at her outburst, and ran out of the room.

"Calm down, Rose," Black spoke softly, kindly, but every word taunted Rose as though he had bellowed them. Indeed, if he wasn't aiming his wand directly at her chest, Rose would have attacked him with the flames flickering in her palms. Rose knew she should be scared – Black could kill her at any moment, the same way he had killed a street full of people, but she wasn't. All she could feel was pain and anger. But a thought, a rational thought flickered across her mind amidst all the pain and memories his sudden appearance had provoked.

"What the hell are you doing at the head quarters of the Order, Black?" Rose asked, her tone icy cold, her eyes looking him down in a death glare, "What on _earth_ is going on here?"

"This is my house, see," he said quietly, his eyes studying her face, "My parent's left it for me. I've offered it for Dumbledore to use."

Rose stared at him in disbelief, wave after wave of shock pulsated through her frozen body.

"Your house?" she yelled indignantly, "_Your_ house? And you offered it to _Dumbledore_? Has the world gone MAD? Why hasn't Dumbledore handed you over to Azkaban?"

"Because I'm innocent," Black said, his eyes borrowing deep in to hers, "And Dumbledore saw the proof of that. I never killed those people, Rose, I never betrayed Lily and James – it was Peter."

Rose gasped, aghast at what she was hearing. The images that had haunted her sleep for years flashed through her mind – Lily and James, laying dead in the rumble of their destroyed home, the massive crater in the middle of the street, bodies everywhere, Peter's severed finger.

"How dare you," she said through clenched teeth, "How _dare_ you accuse Peter, you filthy liar. _You_ were secret keeper, you sold them to Voldemort. You betrayed us all!"

To her surprise, Black's eyes filled with sorrow at hearing these words, and he lowered his wand slightly. Rose instantly took advantage of the opening. Her fiery fists still clenched, she jumped forward and punched a startled Black square in the face, sending him stumbling backwards out of the door – bumping right into a surprised looking Dumbledore.

"Professor!" Rose cried out in relief and confusion, "Professor, what is going on? What on _earth_ is this murder doing in the head quarters of the Order of the Phoenix."

"Rose, calm down please," Dumbledore said as he helped Black stand stably on his feet. "Sirius was hoping to surprise you; I see it did not go to well."

Rose did not speak; in fact, she didn't think she would have been physically able to have her brain been able to string to words together at the moment. She simply starred at Dumbledore, her expression a mixture of fury, pain and confusion.

"Sirius is innocent, Rose, the ministry will not believe it, but it is true. Sirius was not the secret keeper, Peter was. Sirius convinced James and Lily to make Peter secret keeper, with out telling anyone – not even myself – that they had swapped. Five people saw Peter Pettigrew at Hogwarts almost two years ago, heard him admit that he was the spy, that he betrayed Lily and James, and that he killed those twelve muggles and faked his own death, in order to frame Sirius and have him sent to Azkaban instead of himself. My own spy, who is pretending to be a death eater – has seen Peter himself numerous times this year already at Voldemorts side."

Rose was speechless. Her legs felt like jelly and she used what little focus she had to slump down on to her bed. She felt the flame in her palm extinguish. Her eyes wondered between the calm and understanding face of Professor Dumbledore, to the worried Sirius Black, to the shocked and scared face of Molly Weasley, who had just reappeared at the door.

Rose did not know what to think – she processed the information in her head. It did not make any sense, she knew it would take time to understand, but the only important point at the moment was that Dumbledore himself said it was true, and there is no way Black could have tricked Dumbledore. It was true. It had to be. Sirius Black is innocent. Peter was the traitor.

"You – you didn't do it?" she whispered, her eyes locked on Black's, waiting for him to confirm the story.

"I loved James like a brother. I would have died rather than betray them," he croaked.

Rose felt tears forming in her eyes, and she jumped off the bed, ran forward towards a startled Sirius and threw herself at him, strangling him in a tight hug.

"S-Sirius, I can't believe it," she choked through tears, "Innocent, you – you never killed them, it wasn't _you_. Peter, the stupid rat, _Peter_, I can't believe it! Lily – James. How could he? I'm so sorry, Sirius."

Sirius patted her gently on the head, "It's alright Rose, it isn't your fault. The whole world other than the Order and the death eaters think I'm guilty…"

Rose pulled away from him, wiping away her tears.

"Y-you'll explain everything, won't you? I need to know… I don't understand anything."

"Of course," he said, smiling again.

Rose studied his face for a moment. He looked so different to the young man she knew; Azkaban had not treated him kindly, but a shadow of the face that she remembered remained.

"Well," said Dumbledore happily, causing Rose to start, she had forgotten there were two other people in the room, "I'm glad that's settled. I'll be needing to return to my office, I just nipped in her when Molly sent an urgent message, if you'll excuse me…"

Dumbledore left the room, leaving a bewildered though relieving looking Molly standing at the door way. Rose felt a strong surge of shame, seeing her there.

"I'm sorry Molly," she said quickly, "What you must think of me... you have to understand – I've spent fourteen years thinking that Sirius murdered my best friends… it – it's been such a shock… it was only yesterday that I found out that Voldemort is back, then seeing Sirius at headquarters…"

"Oh, don't be silly, dear," said Molly, smiling kindly, "I suspected as much, when Sirius told me you were friends at Hogwarts. I'm sure anyone would have reacted like that."

"Sirius, what were you _thinking_? Springing yourself on me like that?" Rose asked him reproachfully, "I was ready to hex you into a slug and squish you with my own two feet!"

"Yes, I did tell him it was risky," added Molly, "But of course, he wouldn't listen, he never does! Now, dear, if you don't mind, I need to go down to the kitchen to finish preparing lunch. Come down in ten minutes or so and I can introduce you to everyone over lunch."

As she headed back downstairs, Rose sat down on her bed and Sirius leaned against a wall, grinned sheepishly, his face lighting up, reminding Rose so much of charming young friend he had been. But at the same time, he looked so different, so much older. She would never have recognised him if it weren't for the pictures she had seen in the newspapers.

"Call me stupid, I guess I thought you would be ready to immediately accept that I was innocent, especially seeing as how there's no other way I could have gotten in to the headquarters."

Rose shook her head sadly, "I spent a year or so trying to convince myself you were innocent, Sirius, it broke my heart – the five people closest to me, all gone from my life just like; one to insecure to stay with me, three dead, and you blamed for their murders… it was so hard to believe…"

"What made you believe it, then?"

"I don't know. I guess I just gave up, I mean, even Dumbledore testified against you, and there seemed no other way. All the evidence pointed at you, being guilty. I'm sorry."

"Never mind that," he said, waving way the apology, "I'm just so glad to see you again, Rose. I've missed everyone so much."

"I know, me too. I've missed you too, Sirius."

"Even though you thought I was a murderer?"

"Yes, actually," she said honestly, pausing for a moment. It had been so long since she had shown such an emotional outburst, since she had really spoken to someone – as a friend, and so it was with a distinct awkwardness than she continued, "I missed the Sirius I used to know – the Sirius who used to make me laugh when I was down, the Sirius who used to tease me until I cracked, the Sirius would have died rather than betray us. I missed him, because he was replaced by a Sirius I didn't know – the death eater Sirius, the traitor Sirius, the murderer Sirius. You can't imagine how I feel right now – my heart is racing – knowing that the Sirius I never knew never even existed."

Sirius smiled, "Thanks. You know… you've changed so much."

"Oh?" she said, smiling weakly, "How so?"

"Older, obviously… so much older. But you know, you don't look thirty-five. I'd put you at about twenty eight. I suspect it's the veela blood in you?"

"Yep, veela blood. Stops me from ageing too fast," she said simply, "You know, it's been ages since I've talked about being part veela so casually… I remember you used to always tease me about it."

They both smiled reminiscently.

"Yeh," he said, "I can't wait to start on that again."

Rose rolled her eyes, but smiled broadly when she said, "Same old Sirius, aren't you? Anyway, listen Sirius," she said seriously, "Dumbledore hasn't told me anything yet about Voldemort, he just told me that he returned a few months ago, can you fill me in?"

"Of course, but not now, it will take a while and Molly expects us to be at lunch in a minute…"

"Okay, later, I guess," she said, and then hesitated slightly before saying, "But, there's something I need you to tell me, before we go downstairs."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"Is – is _he_ here?" she asked in a whisper, almost fearfully.

"He?" asked Sirius daftly, "I think you might need to be a little more specific, Rose, there are a number of 'he's downstairs."

"_Him_, Sirius, you know, the other one? The other marauder?" she asked. She knew she was being annoying, but she could not bring herself to say his name out loud.

"Oh, Remus, you mean?" Sirius said, smirking, "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Just answer, Sirius!" she replied, her heart beating frantically.

"No," he said simply, "No, he isn't here."

Rose did not know whether she was disappointed or not. She had realised that working for the Order might mean seeing him again, but after all these years, she did not know if she wanted to see him, or she would react if she did. It was all very confusing, and though she would never admit it, the thought of seeing him horrified her.

Sirius smiled understandably and said, "Come on, let's go downstairs, I'm starving…"

"Can you wait outside a minute? I want to change out of these robes…"

A few moments later, Rose had changed into a pair of designer boot-leg jeans and a warm, cream jacket. For good measure, she magically wiped away any signs of her tears and followed Sirius out into the hallway.

* * *

**So, what did you think of her reaction? Liked it, hated it? Realisitic? Review please:) Remus makes his appearance next chapter. ;)**


	4. They Meet Again

"So this is your parents place? You inherited it?"

"Yes," Sirius said bitterly.

Rose remembered how much Sirius had hated this place, and how he had ran away from home when he was still in Hogwarts. It must be horrible for him to be back here again. She placed a hand on his arm and smiled comfortingly.

The house was quiet, that is, until they descended the stairs into the kitchen, where it was extremely noisy. Rose approached the door way nervously.

"Come on," said Sirius encouragingly and she followed him into the kitchen.

The kitchen was large and old fashioned, with a long wooden tabled stretched across it which was already covered with food, around which a large number of people were enjoying their lunch, most of whom seemed to have the same flaming red hair. Rose assumed these must be Molly Weasley's children. A number of people seemed to have noticed Rose enter the room and were staring at her. She was used to this – it was one of the problems with being part-veela, though it always made her uncomfortable.

"Sirius!" a teenaged boy with messy, jet black hair jumped up from his seat and came running forward towards Sirius, talking excitedly. Rose turned to look at him, and when he turned to face her too, and she was able to see his face, she felt like the world had stopped and that her legs might give way.

She closed her eyes. _You're seeing things_, she told herself, _James Potter is_ _dead_.

She opened her eyes again, but the boy was still standing there, watching her curiously, his face slightly pink, his green eyes fixed on hers. _Wait_, she thought, _green eyes?_ Lily's eyes!

"_Harry?_" she exclaimed, so suddenly that the James Potter look-alike actually jumped.

"Er, yeh, that's me," he said awkwardly.

Rose turned quickly to Sirius for confirmation, her excitement mounting with each second.

"Is it really him, Sirius?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Yep," said Sirius grinning broadly, "Spit image of his dad, isn't he?"

"Except his eyes," Rose started, turning back to look at him, "He has –"

"My mothers eyes," said Harry, "Yeh, I've been told."

"But you don't know who I am, do you, Harry?" she asked eagerly.

"No," he said politely, "I'm afraid I don't."

Rose put forward a hand, which Harry took.

"I'm Rose Wilson, Harry. I was friends with your parents at Hogwarts, and afterwards. Lily and I were best friends, in fact."

"Really?" Harry asked, his eyes lighting up excitedly, "Best friends?"

"The very best," she said, smiling sadly, "I know it must sound so cliché, but she was the sister I never had."

"Why haven't I met you before, then?"

"You have, you just wouldn't remember it, you were only a baby," she replied. She knew she was not answering the question, but she was not ready to discuss the real reason why she had never visited him, "You know you gave me such a fright when I first saw you, I thought I was looking at the young James Potter… thought I was going mad…"

Sirius laughed, "I know what you mean, I would have thought the same if I wasn't expecting it. But I already knew it was him, the first time I saw him. But anyway, you two can catch up later, I need to introduce you to everyone else first, Rose."

Rose paused for a moment, and then quickly remembered that they had just entered a kitchen filled with people who were all watching her curiously. One of the boys with red hair was staring shamelessly.

"Right," said Sirius, loudly enough for everyone to hear, "This a good friend of mine, Rose Wilson. We were in the same class at Hogwarts. She was on the Order last time too."

_Good friend_… the words ran in Roses ears. It had been many, many years since she had anyone who she could call a friend – let alone a good friend. She had colleagues, students, neighbours and family. But not _friends_.

Sirius pushed me forward, and started introducing everyone at the table while she shook hands with them, "This here is Ginny Weasley, Molly's little girl, these two here are Fred and George, or George and Fred, I can never tell the difference –"

Rose shook hands with the identical twins.

"Honestly, Sirius, can't you tell I'm Fred? Everyone knows I'm the handsome one," said one of them.

"You're identical," replied Sirius, raising an eyebrow.

"We are?" both twins said, looking shocked. Then they made a big act of looking at each other and started in surprise,

"By golly! He's right!" they both said.

Rose laughed, "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, even if I won't be able to tell you apart either."

"Never mind them, Rose, dear," said an exasperated Molly from near the stove, "They're just trouble, that's what they are."

Fred and George pretended to look hurt while Sirius continued to introduce others.

"This is Hermione Granger, a friend of Harry's from Hogwarts. And heres Ron, he's also a friend of Harry's from Hogwart, and another Weasley –"

Ron, the boy who had been staring shamelessly earlier, shook her hand, turning bright red as he did. His friend – Hermione Granger – tutted impatiently at him.

" – and here we have these two young women, they are working for the order too, this is Faylinn Goodwill, she's an assistant researcher at St Mungo's –"

"Pleased to meet you," said Faylinn, shaking her hand enthusiastically and smiling broadly.

"It's my pleasure," replied Rose, wondering why she seemed so excited.

" – and last but not least, my younger cousin, Tonks, she's an auror."

"Wotcher, Rose," she said, pushing a lock of her brightly pink hair behind her ear.

"Wotcher?" asked a confused Rose, looking from the woman to Sirius.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"What does wotcher mean?" Rose whispered.

Sirius laughed out-right.

"It's British slag, it's a greeting," he said.

"Oh, right," replied Rose, feeling silly. She may have spent six years living in the UK at one stage of her life, but the slang still confused her sometimes.

"You're not from around here, then, are you?" asked Tonks, as Rose and Sirius sat down across her and Faylinn.

"Of course she isn't, you can tell from her accent, she must be Australian," commented Faylinn, "Right, Rose?"

"Yes, I'm Australian," she replied.

"Oh, right," said Tonks, "So I suppose I should have greeted you with something like g'day?"

Laughing, Rose said, "That sounds very funny, you know, mixing Australian slang with a British accent."

Before Tonks could reply, Molly interrupted.

"Rose, dear, here –" she pilled a few sandwiches onto Roses plate, " – do eat up, won't you, you look very tired."

"Yes, I am. I haven't slept in almost twenty hours. Thank you, Molly," said Rose, smiling politely. She recognised that Molly was clearly the mothering type and the only way to prevent herself from being smothered by her excessive fussing was to simply do as she was told.

Tonks and Faylinn became involved in some kind of discussion with Hermione, leaving Rose and Sirius alone together. Rose watched him silently as she ate for a moment. She still could not believe that Sirius Black was sitting right besides her, reclining casually – it really was like a dream. After fourteen years, she finally had back a part of her old life – from the best six years of her life.

"What are you staring at?" Sirius asked after he finished his first sandwich.

Completely unabashed, Rose replied, "You, obviously. I'm sorry – I guess I'm still finding it hard to believe that I really am sitting here next to you as a _friend_ after all these years."

"I know the feeling," said Sirius, "So anyway, I think we have some catching up to do! Tell me about what you've been doing these last fourteen years?"

"Me? Nothing special, I suppose," Rose said, sighing at how true those words were. Nothing special, it epitomised her life for the last fourteen years, "You know all those things I used to dream about, back when we were still in Hogwarts?"

Sirius thought for a moment, "I remember – vaguely. You were a big dreamer. You kept going on about how you were going to play seeker for England and win the Quidditch World Cup once Voldemort was defeated, then retire from that and start a family and have three gorgeous kids while doing part-time work in some important magical research project. Did I miss anything?"

Rose smiled, "Well done, I'm surprised you remember all that. Or maybe I'm not – I did go on about that quite a lot, didn't I? But you forgot to mention that I was going to move back to Australia and help strengthen the magical community."

"Ah, I knew I forgot something! Still, three out of four, not bad for over a decade, hey? So, how many of them did you fulfil?"

"Would you believe – only one," Rose said, shaking her head, "I moved back to Australia about a week after Lily and James died. Then I was clinically depressed for about a year. Did nothing productive at all. I was a wreck. Well, after that I got a little better, I was still pretty depressed, but not like how it used to be. I got on with my life a bit. I got a small job for a while, nothing to big, just to help me get back on track with things. Then the school opened and I was offered a position as DADA teacher. I took that up, I've been working there for almost ten years now."

"So," said Sirius softly, "No playing seeker, no research… no kids?"

"Nope," Rose said, keeping her tone casual, though deep inside she felt a sharp pang of regret; not having children of her own was one of her life's biggest regrets, "There's no Quidditch league, the community is too small. There's no major research institutes either, and the ones that do exist aren't related to my area of expertise anyway, and, obviously no man, no kids."

"No man?"

It was not Sirius who asked, but Tonks. Hermione seemed to have moved away and Tonks and Faylinn had returned their attention to Sirius and Rose.

"No, there's no man in my life," Rose said, careful to make it sounds like she did not care, like it meant nothing to her. She showed nothing of the loneliness she kept bottled up inside.

For some reason, both Faylinn and Tonks seemed surprised by this news.

"Well, that's no good!" Sirius exclaimed, "When's the last time you've had a boyfriend then?"

Rose suddenly felt very awkward; she did not mind discussing this with Sirius, though she was not sure she was willing to discuss this in front of the two women. Not that she had anything against them, but it was a very personal topic. She did not know how she could escape this one though.

"I don't know, it must have been, what? Fourteen years, four months and seventeen days?" said Rose, smirking at the three astonished faces before her, "Well, something like that, not like in counting…"

"You're kidding, Rose," said Sirius, looking dumb-struck, "Okay, I mean, I know you were depressed and all, given one thing or _another_ –"

His stress on the word 'another' told Rose very clearly that he was referring to her broken relationship with the _other one_. She was grateful he did not mention it directly though, given the present company.

" – but I mean, come on, you'd think a person would get over it after all those years? You really never dated?"

"I never said I didn't date, Sirius, you asked about a boyfriend."

"So you did date, then?" asked Faylinn curiously.

"I dated, yes, a number of times. The first date was six years after Sirius here was locked away. It was a disaster. It couldn't be clearer that the man was after only one thing. There was no second date. Then the next date, well it turns out he was only trying to prove to his friends that he could have me wound around his fingers. I figured it out quick enough though, and hour into the date it was over, I left him at the restaurant with three broken fingers."

"Serves him right!" said Tonks indignantly, "You wouldn't believe the number of times I've had that sort of thing happen to me – I'm a Metamorphmagus, see," she added upon seeing Rose's confused expression, "The number of times I've had dates ask me if I found change in to some air head blonde beauty!"

"Oh, you get that too, then? It's ridiculous, isn't it?" said Rose, glad to finally meet someone who could relate to her, "I just can't tell who are the sincere ones, the ones who can actually see past a pretty face and show interest in me for who I am, not only for what I look like."

"But you can't let that be a reason for you to give up!" pressed Tonks.

"That's right," added Faylinn fervently, "I mean, I'm hardly one to talk, I'm not exactly chasing men away with a broom, but, like, there must be some way you can know who the sincere ones are?"

"It wasn't that, was it, Rose?" asked Sirius knowingly, "It was something else? The reason you're thirty five and still single?"

Rose sighed. This conversation was getting to dangerous, too fast.

"No, you're right Sirius, it wasn't that. At first, I guess I just did not have my heart in it. My… _past experiences_, I guess you could say, meant that I wasn't interesting in meeting anyone, and I didn't have any hope of actually finding anyone… not to mention that most of the guys were jerks who treated me like I was some kind of possession. I only dated a few times here and there because it was what my parents wanted. Well, anyway, one day, something like eight years after I left the UK, this guy asks me out. He seemed okay, I had meet him a few times through work, so I thought I might as well give it a shot."

Rose paused, sighing regretfully.

"What, what happened?" urged Sirius.

"He took me to a muggle restaurant. It was actually a nice date, and the first one that ended without disaster."

"But that's good!" said Sirius happily.

"Yeh, that's what I thought too. Until I went to work the next morning and realised that people were talking behind my back. I asked a colleague about it. It turned out the guy I went out with the previous night was pretty well known in the community and that a number of people saw us. And, can you believe, it turns he was _married_ with two young kids!"

"You're kidding!"

"Merlin's Beard!"

"Why, that piece of scum –"

"Sirius, watch your language!" Rose said reproachfully, "Yes, well, anyway, not many people would believe that I had no idea he was married, and being a small community word spread fast. Well, I gave up after that."

"That's horrible," said Faylinn sympathetically, "Absolutely horrible… the stupid prat."

"Agreed!" said Tonk, "But, still, I mean, you can't let a shallow git like that make you give up on love!"

Rose would have snorted, if she had not decided years ago that it was utterly unlady-like thing to do.

"I don't believe in love…" she replied softly, truthfully, in a way, indifferently.

Sirius shook his head while Tonks and Faylinn looked dumbfounded. Rose laughed at their reactions.

"How can you not believe in _love_?" Faylinn asked loudly. Perhaps a little too loudly.

"What's this?" said Molly, as she took a seat to Rose's right, "Who doesn't believe in love?"

"Rose, Mrs Weasley," said Faylinn.

Rose groaned inwardly. This was definitely not the direction she had wanted to take the discussion.

"I see," she said, studying me shrewdly with her eyes, "That can only mean one thing. You've been hurt before, haven't you?"

"How'd you guess?" Rose asked, grimacing slightly.

"Nonsense, dear, when you've seem as much of life as I have, you know about these things. There's only one reason people give up on love – and that's because they were hurt by someone they loved – not that they will admit to loving them, will they?"

"No, they won't," Rose agreed softly.

"But of course love is real, isn't it, Molly?" said Tonks emphatically, "You and Arthur are in love, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course, we are," said Molly fondly, "FRED – what are you doing to that owl?"

Molly jumped up from her seat and went to deal with her sons, leaving an awkward silence behind. Rose fiddled uncomfortably with her cup of water. Tonks looked like she was going to continue pressing the issue, but Sirius got there before her –

"Well, anyway, Rose," he said hastily, "I think we might leave that discussion for, er, later. Why don't you tell me about your friends, then?"

Rose smiled wryly, "Not your day, is it Sirius?"

"Wrong question?" he asked, grimacing.

"Very," said Rose slowly, "I don't have any friends. Not real friends anyway. Just colleagues, neighbours, students, people like that."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Well, I was a bit of a bore at first I guess, too busy hurting about the past, and then when I was starting to be myself again and opening up to people, that incident with the married man happened. People thought I wasn't trustworthy, or else they were scared I might try to take their husbands from them."

"But you were _never_ that kind of girl!" said Sirius indignantly, "Why do people assume that just because your so pretty?"

"I know, try telling them that, though."

"That must have been hard," said Faylinn.

She looked sympathetic, confused, though thoughtful. On the other hand, Tonks looked indignant on her behalf. Rose was flattered by their caring, but she knew she has spoken too much, and besides, she was extremely tired.

Stifling a yawn, she stood up.

"Going somewhere?" asked Sirius.

"Yes – I'm exhausted. It was late at night when I left home, you know. I need some sleep before the meeting tonight. Oh, and you still need to bring me up to speed about the Order and Voldemort and all that. Will you wake me up half an hour or so before the meeting, to explain everything?"

"Of course," he replied.

"Thanks," said Rose, and she turned to the two women and said, "And it was a pleasure meeting you both."

Rose walked across the room towards the door way, thinking about what she had just discussed. She was amazed with herself – it had been so long since she had spoken so openly with anyone. It felt so good though, a relief almost. Perhaps, she might even be able to make friends here. Faylinn was rather young, but Tonks was at least old enough that she might be able to relate to her. And there was Molly, who was a lot older, but lovely all the same. And of course, there was Harry! She simply could not wait get to know him better.

Rose was so consumed in her thoughts that she did not even notice the man who was entering the kitchen, just as she was leaving it, and so they collided rather forcefully. She managed to keep her balance by grabbing the door frame, but the man fell backwards on to the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" she said, offering her hand, "Are you okay?"

"Fine – I'm fine," he said. His voice was slightly hoarse, and oddly familiar.

The man accepted her help and as she helped him up, she saw that he had light brown hair, which had covered his face during the fall, and his robes were a little worn for wear.

"Thank you," he said, as he straightened up, his hair fell away from his face, his hand still in hers, "I'm sorry I –"

He stopped dead half way through the sentence, frozen, his eyes opened wide in shock as they looked on hers. Such familiar eyes, thought Rose. In fact, everything about him seemed familiar…

And then it hit her – it hit her so suddenly it was as though she had plunged head first in the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of a cold winter. She felt her legs failing her; every emotion she had been repressing for who knew how many years rose swiftly to the surface. Hurt, confusion, false hope – _anger_.

And she knew from his expression that he recognised her too.

"Erm," she heard Molly step forward, and said, rather unnecessarily, "Rose, dear, this is Remus Lupin, I trust you know him from –"

"You," said Rose simply, quietly, her voice shaking in rage and suppressed emotion. She felt her body flaring up, and before she could stop, or control it, her eyes flickered red, her hair became suddenly wind-swept and her palms erupted in flames.

She heard him cry in pain and withdraw his hand quickly, and felt the tears forming in her own eyes. She pushed him out of the way and ran all the way to her new bedroom, all thoughts of sleep forgotten.


	5. It Burns

**In case anyone is wondering - Faylinn Goodwill is the main character from my fic, The DADA Professor. Long story short, Lupin taught her in her seventh year and she had a massive crush on him. Whetheror not she still does will be revealed sometime later in this fic. ;)  
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**By the way, to all you die hard Remus Lupin fans, check out the C2 that I'm a staff member of. It's called "****Remus Lupin: His Love, Life, and That Furry Little Problem". Link is on my profile page!**** Be sure to subscribe, cough please cough.  
**

**Now, on with the story!**

**Don't forget to REVIEW!  
**

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A stunned silence descended upon the occupants of the kitchen. All eyes were fixed on Remus, who was clasping his right hand to his chest and resting his tense body against the wall, so all they could see was his back. The silence was only broken by the sound of a door slamming shut from upstairs.

"What on earth was that about?" asked Ron, looking bemused, as the others exchanged awkward looks.

"What is it, Remus?" asked Molly, stepping forward towards him and prying him away from the wall, "Why are you clasping your hand – oh dear!"

She quickly took his hand in hers and held it so that it faced the dim light provided by the surrounding candles. There was a collective gasp from most of the occupants of the kitchen as they too saw what Molly had seen – the palm of his hand was a raw red colour, and covered in blisters, as though it had been burned. Harry, Tonks and Faylinn stood up abruptly and rushed forward towards Remus, while Hermione and the Weasley children exchanged worried looks. Molly hurried over to the cupboard by the sink in search of something.

"How did that happened, Remus?" asked Tonks concernedly as she stood up to have a better look.

"Are you okay, Professor?" demanded Harry.

"Does it hurt a lot?" asked Faylinn, biting her lip anxiously.

"It – it's nothing," said Remus in broken speech. His words were betrayed by a grimace of pain.

Sirius stepped forward and freed his friend from the group of people clustered around him, "Alright people, let's give him some breathing room, can we, he's in shock – and pain. Come sit down here, Remus…"

Sirius helps Remus into a chair and studied the burn.

"She did it, didn't she?" he asked grimly, after a moment.

Remus nodded, his eyes tightly shut in a painful grimace.

"What?" exclaimed Tonks angrily, "Are you saying _Rose_ did that?"

"She didn't mean to, Tonks," said Sirius defensively, "She can't control it –"

"Who cares! Someone help him, he's in pain!" insisted Harry urgently.

At that moment Molly rushed forward with a bottle of healing lotion and started applying it to Remus's hand, but he pulled it away abruptly.

"Really, Remus," she said fussily, "How do you expect me to heal it if you –"

"No," said Remus with bated breath, "W-Won't work. Sirius? Blood."

"Oh, rats!" said Sirius, turning quickly towards the door, "Sorry, Remus, I forget, I'll be back in a second – ouch!"

Sirius stopped abruptly on his way to the door, receiving a number of bemused looks from the people in the room. He looked down at the floor at see what had hit him on the head and found a small vile filled with a blood-red liquid. There was a small inscription written on it.

"Blood for the wound," he read out loud after picking it up, "Excellent, she's sent it down for us already."

" She sent _what_ down?"

"Why would the wound need _blood_?"

"What on _earth_ is going on Sirius?"

"Someone heal him already! Can't you see he's in pain?"

But Sirius ignored the bombardment with question and took a seat next to Remus, who was looking very white.

"Molly, give me that healing lotion," said Sirius.

"What? Why? I can –"

"Molly, please," Remus whispered faintly, "Give it to him."

Apparently startled by how faint Remus sounded, Molly handed the lotion to Sirius, who promptly conjured a small plate, into which he poured some of the lotion and the blood.

"Sirius, what are you _doing_?" asked Tonks, while she and Molly exchanged looks, looking incredulous.

"Just watch –" he replied, and poured the lotion on to Remus's open palm and gently rubbed it in. For a moment nothing happened, and then –

"It's healed!" gasped Molly.

Sure enough, his hand was returned to its usual state, with no trace of the burn at all.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief, the colour returning to his cheeks. He withdrew his wand to siphon away the last of the lotion.

"Thank you, Sirius," he said, sounding again much like his usual self, albeit rather more subdued and edgy. He promptly buried his head in his hands.

"Does anyone want to explain what just happened?" asked Tonks impatiently, "Why on earth did Rose hurt him? I thought she seemed alright!"

"I told you, Tonks, she wouldn't have meant it," said Sirius.

"How do you know?" asked Harry hastily, "You haven't seen her in fourteen years –"

"I know, Harry, because that is what happens when she get angry about something. She kinda flares up and fire erupts on her hands. She can't control it."

"But I've never heard of that happening before," asked Tonks frowning, "And I'm an auror."

"Nor have I," said Hermione, shaking her head.

"No, you wouldn't have, it's pretty rare," said Sirius slowly. He looked anxiously at Remus (who seemed oblivious to the conversation happening around him) and added, "I'm not sure if she wanted me to tell you this… but I can't see how I can avoid it now. Er, you see, Rose is part veela –"

"See? I _told_ you she was, Harry!" exclaimed Ron triumphantly.

Hermione tutted impatiently and Fred rolled his eyes and said, "Shut up, Ickle Ronikines, let Sirius finish."

Tonks furrowed her brow in concentration, "But what does this have to do with the burn?"

"Have you ever seen an angry veela?"

"Yes, we have," said Harry quickly, "We saw them at the Quidittich World Cup."

Hermione's eyes widen in realisation, "Of course, they transform and throw fire, don't they?"

"Exactly," said Sirius, nodded to Hermione, "But Rose is only part veela, so the worst that happens is that her hair looks windswept, her eyes flickers red and flames explode in her palms. She can only control it by controlling her anger and emotions."

"And what about the blood?" asked Molly.

"Oh, yeh," said Sirius, "Yeh, the burn isn't a normal one, it can only be treated by mixing some of Rose's blood in with a healing lotion. She must have realised she burned him, because she sent us down some of her blood."

"So, what happens if you get burned but the veela vanishes before you can get some of her blood?" asked George.

Sirius smirked slightly, "You'll have to let the burn heal by it self. With time. And it hurts like hell and scars pretty badly too."

George grimaced, "You know, Fred, something tells me it might be a good idea to make sure Rose never gets on the wrong side of any of our pranks…"

"Yeh," said Fred, "Somehow I had the same feeling…"

"Right," said Tonks, still frowning, "Right, so what you're saying is that Rose got angry about something and Remus got burned because he was holding her hand?"

"Yep," said Sirius.

"But what happened? She seemed happy enough when she was leaving the kitchen – a little down maybe, but not _angry_."

"It was when she saw Professor Lupin," said Harry, his eyes flickering nervously in his former teacher's direction, "Didn't you see? He looked like he had seen a ghost and she looked, well, I don't know how to explain it – shocked, horrified, furious, hurt? A little bit of all of them, really."

"But why?" asked Tonks.

"I think," started Faylinn hesitantly. She, like Harry, was watching his unmoving figure intently, "I think Rose is Professor Lupin's ex-girlfriend."

"What?" cried Tonks at once, while Ron chocked on the water he was drinking and Fred and George raised identical eyebrows.

"How did you know that?" asked Sirius, looking extremely surprised.

Faylinn smiled nervously, "My Uncle Graham showed me a picture from when you lot where still in Hogwarts. Professor Lupin and Rose were in it, and she sort of had her hand around his waist…"

"Yeh," said Sirius, nodding in confirmation, "That's right…"

"Okay, so he's her ex," said Tonks, looking a little annoyed, "Big deal, I don't see anyone else over-reacting like that when they see someone they dated, especially not when it was so many years ago."

"This is pretty different though," said Sirius slowly, "But I don't think it's my place to talk about that…"

He looked over at Remus, who was still sitting very still, his face engulfed in his two hands.

"Remus?" he asked, prodding him at his side.

Remus emerged from behind his hands, sighing deeply.

"Rose and I broke up years ago," he said dismally, "There were some serious unresolved_ issues_ which I would rather not go into, but we moved apart from each other before they could be resolved. Did you know she was coming, Sirius?"

"Er, well, yeh," he replied uncomfortably.

"And you didn't think to warn me?" Remus asked incredulously.

"I only found out this morning and you've been out since then…"

Remus shook his head and stood up, "If you would all excuse me."

"Where are you going?" asked Tonks worriedly.

"Just to my room. I need some time to think."

"Don't you think you should talk to Rose, Remus?" suggested Molly, "She seemed very upset, don't you think –"

"No," said Remus, smiling wryly, "I don't think it's safe for me to attend to her right now."

"Don't forget that you moved into my room, Remus," said Sirius, "The last thing you want now is to accidentally walk in on her."

"Oh, yes," said Remus, his smile vanishing suddenly, "Thank you, Sirius. Would you join me when you're free? I'd like to have a word."

"In a while, I have to speak to Rose first – don't look at me like that!" he said hastily, "Dumbledore told me to explain everything about the Order to her, and she wants to know what really happened with the git Wormtail. She wanted me to let her sleep for a bit first but somehow I don't think she'll be getting any sleep..."

"Okay," he replied, turning to leave the kitchen, leaving behind a concerned Molly, an anxious Tonks, a curious Faylinn and six very bemused teenagers.


	6. Him

Rose slammed her bedroom door shut, pressed her back against it and slowly allowed herself to sink down on to the floor. Unthinkingly, she withdrew her wand and summoned a vile from her suitcase, magically cut her arm, and collected some blood in it. She shivered; it had been a very long time since she had lost control like that, and even longer since she had hurt someone. She banished the vile into the kitchen and hastened to heal her wound.

_It was him._

That was the only rational thought that her mind could comprehend at the moment. It was _him_the one who had left her, the one who had shattered her heart to a thousand pieces, and the one who had all but destroyed her dreams, the one who had shattered her belief in love.

_He_ was here.

Tears streamed down her face as she tried in vain to steady her breathing. Her hands felt soar, as they always did when she lost control, but for now, the pain was welcome; it was a distraction from the infinitely worse pain she felt inside.

Rose was confused. She was feeling too many emotions at once; shock that he had just appeared out of nowhere, anger that he had ever left her alone at all, apprehension at the thought that she really was seeing him again after fourteen years apart and regret that they had been apart for so long.

But above all, she felt pain; the same pain she had felt that day when he left her. The pain that she had felt for years, the pain which she thought she was free off forever more. _That_ pain.

An involuntary sob escaped her lips and she buried her face in her arms as her body rid itself of tears and emotion that it had bottled up deep inside for years. For so long she had played it cool, keeping her emotions in check, letting herself be carefree, but she realised now that all she had done was repress them.

"It's really him," she whispered.

Rose did not know how long she had stayed seated there, crying into her arms. She did not care either, because at the moment nothing else in the world mattered. She knew she would have sat there for much longer if a gentle knock hadn't startled her out of her misery.

She froze. Surely, she thought, it couldn't be _him_?

"Rose?" a voice travelled into her room through the strong, wooden door.

She breathed a sigh of relief; it was Sirius.

"Sirius? Are you alone?" she asked, her trembling voice husky with emotion.

"Yes, can I come in?" he replied.

Rose stood up and let him enter the room as she hastily wiped away her tears.

"Have you been crying the whole time?" he asked worriedly, as he closed the door behind him.

Rose nodded glumly, quickly whipping away a few more stray tears. Sirius took her by the shoulders and steered her towards the bed and helped her sit down. He sat down besides her.

"Do you want to talk it over?" he suggested.

"You told me he wasn't going to be here," she said, unable to keep at accusation out of her tone.

Sirius grimaced, "Technically I said that he wasn't here at the moment… I didn't mention he was coming later in case you freaked out or something… well, I guess that kind of back fired, didn't it?"

Rose nodded but did not say anything.

"You haven't seen him since Voldemort vanished, have you? He told me that when I asked, ages ago," Sirius continued, "But Rose, I don't understand why you've reacted this way. Why are you so upset?"

"I –I don't know, Sirius," she replied truthfully, "I mean, it's like everything I felt that day he left me just reappeared… I never really came to terms with it, I just suppressed it all, I guess. Seeing him must have bought it all back to the surface."

"And what are you feeling, exactly?" he asked tentatively.

"Pain… confusion... anger. He ruined my life, Sirius, when he left me. I'm not the same person I used to be. And that just hurts so much," she confessed, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sirius patted her gently on the shoulder.

"It's alright, Rose, it will be alright," he said, though without much conviction, "Tell me, do you – I mean, how do you feel about him?"

"What do you mean?" asked Rose, frowning slightly.

"I mean, do you – do you still, love him?" he said quickly.

Rose glared at him, and it was with a certain coldness that she asked, "Haven't I already told you I don't believe in love?"

"Okay, okay sorry!" he replied, holding up his hand defensively.

Rose felt a shot of guilt, seeing him back away like that. He was only trying to help, after all.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she said softly, "It's just – he's the very reason why I don't believe in love… I wish I could believe, but I just can't… I've been hurt too deeply."

"I understand," he said, looking a little relived, "Okay, so, you don't love him, then, how do you feel?"

"That's just the thing, Sirius," she said emphatically, "It's the question that's been haunting me for years. And I really don't know the answer! I mean, he hurt me so much, and I know he meant well, but he destroyed me on the in side when he left me like that. He left me, and he took my hope and happiness with him."

"So, then do you hate him?" Sirius asked pointedly.

"No!" Rose cried, "How could I hate him? He hurt me deeply, Sirius, but I don't forget that he made the six years I spent here in the UK at best six years of my life. He – he meant the world to me, and if I believed in love, I would have said that I loved him. And even now, I still wish that he had never left me, that we had gotten married…"

"Sorry, Rose, but you've really lost me now," he said, smiling goofily.

Rose laughed despite her teary eyes. It had been so long since she had seen that particular smile.

"How so?"

"So, you don't love him, but you don't hate either? Is that right?" he asked, looking like he was trying hard to understand.

"That's right… but, you see, I don't know where I stand, I mean, are my feelings closer to the love spectrum, or the hate spectrum?" she admitted, "I really don't know which… and I don't think I will know until I speak to him…"

"Women," said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Sirius," Rose said, slapping his shoulder playfully, "So," she started nervously, "Do you know how h-he feels, then?"

Sirius smiled knowingly, "I haven't spoken with him about it much. And anyway, I think it's up to you to ask him."

Rose sighed, "I knew you would say that. Did he know I was coming? He seemed pretty surprised when he saw me…"

"Nope," he confessed, "He didn't have a clue… I think he's annoyed with me for not telling him actually…"

Rose nodded, but did not say anything. There was a question she was burning to ask, but she wasn't sure if she could stand to know the answer. Sirius seemed to have guessed though, because he asked,

"Something you'd like to ask, Rose?"

Rose swallowed deeply, before saying, "Yes, I've wanted to know, for a long time actually. Did- did he ever – I mean to say, is he – is he still… single?"

As much as she tried to stay casual, she could not keep the fear out of her voice as she asked that question. Even though she had not idea how she felt about him now, she knew it would destroy her inside to think that he could have left her and then simply found someone else.

"He's as single as they get, Rose" Sirius said simply, "He hasn't dated anyone at all since he left you."

Rose let out a sigh of relief.

"Typical…" she muttered.

"Isn't it?" sighed Sirius, "Well, anyway, I suppose you still want to know about what Voldemort is doing and why I'm innocent, don't you? Or has Remus driven all thoughts of that out of out mind?"

Rose winced slightly at the mention of _his_ name. It was ironic, really. She had never understood why anyone would fear Voldemorts name, and here she was, flinching at the mention of her ex-boyfriends name. She pushed the thought away though; Sirius has raised an important point.

"Yes, Sirius, I want to know. I need to know. Tell me _everything_."

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
**

"Wow."

"I know."

"_Wow._"

"Tell me about."

Rose looked at Sirius with new found respect. The reality that he had spent twelve years in Azkaban as an innocent man was finally hitting home.

"Wow," she said again.

"I see you're as eloquent as ever," said Sirius, as he leaned casually against the wall opposite the bed.

Rose laughed, "Sorry Sirius, it's so much to grasp all at one time, you know? Voldemort is back. Voldemort. Can you believe it? I just can't… and to think… _Peter_, of all people? First he betrays us all, and then he helps Voldemort return!"

She leaned her head back against the headboard of her bed, looking up at the ceiling. A faint shiver spread across her body.

"I know," said Sirius bitterly, "I can't believe I never saw him for what he was – it should have been obvious to us that he was the spy."

"He fooled us all," said Rose kindly, "We can't blame ourselves; how should we have known? He was your good friend since you were eleven, and I'd known him since I was fifteen."

"His animagus form should have given something away, don't you think? A rat. Well, that's what he turned out to be in the end."

"I know," Rose agreed, sighing. It was a lot for her to digest – all these years she had mourned Peter as a victim, and know she knew the truth. She felt horrible, used, lied to. Betrayed. But there was something else that was bothering her, something Sirius had said…

"Sirius?"

"Yeh?

"Why did you think _he_ was the spy?" she asked tentatively. Of everything Sirius had said, that confession had startled her most. It saddened her to think that Sirius could have ever suspected _him_ of that – especially when Sirius had been one of the few people who knew about his condition and still loved him as a friend anyway.

Sirius looked properly ashamed of himself.

"I was an idiot," he admitted, "A total fool. It is so obvious that Remus –" Rose struggled to hide her wince, " – would never have betrayed us. I just thought that because he was a werewolf, and because Voldemort offered werewolves so much, he might have been tempted to go over, and become a death eater."

Rose frowned, "Does he know this?"

"Yes."

"It must have really hurt him, knowing that even his best friends have second thoughts about his condition."

"He didn't seem too fussed, he forgave me at any rate," said Sirius defensively.

"Of course he would have forgiven you," Rose said with a sigh. It felt awkward talking about him, "But I doubt it would have done much for his confidence… well, that is assuming he is still the same insecure person I remember him to be."

"He's a tough cookie. Anyway, listen, I think you should get some sleep before the meeting, you think you can manage that?"

"Thanks Sirius, you've really helped me calm down, but I don't think I can sleep, not right now, anyway."

"Thought so," he replied. With a flick of a wand, a small cup appeared in front of Rose. She took it in her hands.

"Sleeping drought?"

"Molly thought you might need it…" he replied, shrugging.

"That's very considerate of her," said Rose, and then a startling thought struck her suddenly, "They didn't all see the burn, did they?" she asked anxiously.

"Well, yeh, they did…" Sirius admitted hesitantly.

"And?"

Sirius took a deep breath, "And, I had to tell them that you're part veela… I'm sorry, I know I should have asked first if you wanted them to know, but I couldn't explain it any other way."

Rose smiled wryly, "It's not your fault. Don't worry about it. Er, and did you tell them why I got all worked up?"

"I didn't have to actually," started Sirius, "One of the girls – Faylinn – guessed you were his ex-girlfriend. Apparently she'd seen a picture of you with your arm around his waist, back in Hogwarts days…"

Rose sighed deeply, "Great, just what I need… Oh well, I think I'm going to take this potion now, you can be sure I need it."

Sirius made towards the door, "I'll send Molly or one of the girls to wake you up about ten minutes before the meeting."

"Thank you, Sirius."

He left the room, closing the door softly behind. Rose smiled as she watched him leave and then hastily lifted the potion to her lips, welcoming the dreamless sleep as it engulfed her and freed her from her own thoughts and emotions.

* * *

**A big thanks to Aldiebree, RandomSelection, Jes, MoonNightLover, JesterBellsILove, ServalSpirit, JustAnotherCrazyWriter, another stars hollow freak, Aljinon for the reviews! Please keep them coming people! And if you're reading and haven't reviewed yet, then what are you waiting for? **

* * *


	7. The Potions Master

Rose woke up with a start and gasped loudly when she realised her head had been soaked in ice cold water.

"Sorry about that."

Rose sat up abruptly and looked to see who had spoken. The young woman with pink hair she had met in the kitchen earlier was standing with her wand at the foot of her bed, looking sheepish. She waved her wand, and Rose sighed with relief as the numbing coldness lifted away from her.

"I only did it because I couldn't wake you up any other way," the woman said apologetically.

"No worries," said Rose felling slightly bemused, though now fully awake, "It's Tonks, right?"

"Yep, that's me," she said happily.

Rose considered her for a moment; she was friendly enough, though she could not shake off the feeling that she was being studying somehow, that her eyes were searching her own.

"The meeting is starting in about ten minutes," said Tonks, and after a slight paused asked awkwardly, "Er, are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," said Rose untruthfully as she pulled herself off the bed (she noticed that someone, presumably Molly, have covered her with a blanket while she slept), "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, well, it's just that your eyes are kind of blood shot."

Rose inwardly cursed herself as she looked into the full length mirror set in the door of the wardrobe – she had forgotten to magically clear away the signs that she had been crying before she slept and now her eyelids were swollen and her eyes bloodshot. Worst of all, Tonks had witnessed it. It was one thing crying in front of Sirius – he had seen her tears countless times before, but it had been years since anyone at all had seen her cry, let alone strangers.

Rose reached for her wand and quickly corrected her appearance, and her eyes were immediately returned back to normal. Tonks looked mildly impressed.

"That's some pretty good charm work," she commented, "You couldn't even tell they'd been all swollen just a moment ago."

"Thanks," said Rose, smiling awkwardly as she hastily brushed her sleep-rustled hair with her fingers, she hesitated slightly before asking, "You don't think you'd be able to keep that quiet, could you? I mean, that I'd been crying."

"Of course, I won't say anything if you don't want me to," Tonks reassured her kindly.

"Thank you."

"Now, I think we better get going," said Tonks, as Rose finished fixing her appearance, "There's still ten minutes, but they start early sometimes."

Although Rose looked admirable calm and collect on the outside her insides were squirming in horror. The moment she stepped out of that door, the chances of her seeing _him_ – the Professor, she called him, now that Sirius had told her about his last job – would become dangerously high. She was not ready for it; she could not even say his name – she could not even _think_ it – there was no doubt that she would not be able to make eye contact with him, or even talk to him. Not yet, anyway. Therefore, at a time like this, there was only one real option. She summoned her sunglasses.

"You're not going to wear them to the meeting, are you?" asked Tonks incredulously, as Rose slipped on her sunglasses, "They're so black, I can't even see your eyes!"

Rose smiled from behind her glasses, "Excellent. Come on then, let's go."

Tonks looked like she was going to say something, but merely shrugged and made her way towards the door. Though before she had taken even three steps forward, she was sprawled flat on the floor after a spectacular fall. Rose was dumbfounded – there was nothing that she could have tripped over.

"Are you alright?" she asked as she helped Tonks to her feet.

"Fine – don't look so startled," she said light-heartedly, as a slight blush crept across her cheeks, "You'll get used to it, I'm known for tripping over anything and everything, and if there is nothing there at all, my own two feet will do."

Rose laughed, and felt her liking for the younger woman increase. She seemed nice enough and easy going and funny – just a few of the characteristics she valued in a friend.

The two women made their way out of the room and arrive without any further accidents to the kitchen, which was surprisingly full with unfamiliar faces. She had not been expecting to see so many people – during the first war meetings were no more than ten people at a time, though there was at least twenty people here.

Rose and Tonks went rather unnoticed as they entered – everyone was too busy conversing loudly. Rose allowed her eyes to quickly scan the room. She immediately noticed Sirius sitting at the far right with a few empty seats besides him and she made quickly to sit next to him while Tonks sat a few seats away next to Faylinn, though her eyes (hidden by her glasses) continued to scanned the room and it was not until she had sat down and was offered a glass of water by Sirius that her eyes landed on the object of her search, speaking with a red head man who Rose assumed must be another Weasley and looking faintly uneasy, determinedly not looking in her direction.

_Him._

It was fortunate that she was seated, because at that moment her legs felt like jelly.

He was seated (thankfully) on the other side of the room; a good three meters and countless number of people were between them. Hidden by her glasses and unreadable facial expression, she watched him intently from the corner of her eye, her heart beating more frantically with each passing second.

He looked different to what she remembered – older, much older. He even had some white hairs, though he was certainly too young for it. But behind the aged face was the features of the twenty one year old she remembered him as – his features were as soft as ever, his eyes their usual warm light brown and his light hair not too long, though not too short either. Though she hated to admit it, he was still very handsome.

She felt her emotions crawling to the surface again, but this time she was ready and was able to control herself. Her expression was unreadable, aided by the fact that her eyes were classily covered, though she felt like there was a hurricane roaring within her.

"Keeping cool," muttered Sirius from besides her, "Good, that's good. But what's with the muggle glasses?"

Rose turned to face him, peeling her eyes away from theProfessor.

"Just a precaution," she said. She had aimed for a casual tone, but her voice trembled with suppressed emotion. Frustrated, she lowered her voice so that no one but Sirius could hear and said, "I won't need to make unwanted eye contact, this way."

"If you must," said Sirius, and then he sat up straight and said, "Excellent, Dumbledore is here."

Rose followed Sirius's line of sight and smiled as she saw Professor Dumbledore enter the room. Slowly, everyone else realised that he had arrived and silence descended over the kitchen.

"Good evening," he said as he took a seat in the middle of the table, "I'm afraid I can't stay for long, so let's get straight to business, shall we? Firstly, Molly, how is Arthur coming along?"

All eyes turned to Molly. Sirius had already told Rose about the attack on her husband, and she knew this must be very hard for her.

"He is doing very well," she said, looking only a little anxious, "They haven't been able to treat the wound yet, and he bleeds a lot if they remove the bandages, but the healers are confident that they will be able to find an antidote to the poison that's stopping the wound from healing. If anything, he is only in a little discomfort."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Dumbledore smiling, "Please do send him my regards. Now, there is the issue of…"

The meeting continued for another twenty minutes and fortunately for Rose, it was interesting enough to help distracted her from the Professor, though she could not help but keep her eyes fixed on him for long periods of time, taking in his appearance, his expressions and the way he presented himself. She was painfully aware that he had not yet looked at her at all; she did not know if this upset her or not, but she reasoned that if she had not been wearing the sunglasses she probably would not have looked at him either.

"…thank you Kingsley for that briefing, now if I may ask you, Severus, what have you to tell us about the plots of the death eaters?"

Rose snapped her eyes away from the Professor at the sound of a familiar name and followed Dumbledore's gaze to a man sitting at the far left end of the table. Her insides gave a bit of a jolt as she recognised the curtains of greasy black hair around a black eyed, sallow face – it was none other than Severus Snape.

She watched him with such astonishment that she hardly took in a word of his briefing. She had not seen him since graduating from Hogwarts, but the last she had known of him, he was deeply immersed in the Dark Arts. Sirius had mentioned that Severus was teaching at Hogwarts, though she had no idea that he was actually part of the Order itself. Rose was not inclined to think too badly of him, they had certainly never been friends, but they had never disliked each other in the same way that he had disliked – perhaps even loathed – James and Sirius, either. Severus had even confided in her his romantic feelings for Lily Evans – or rather, she had insisted that he liked her and had left no room for him to deny them. Loyal to her words, she had never revealed his secret to anyone.

"…however at the moment the Dark Lord is focusing his attention on planning the mass break out from Azkaban that I detailed in previous meetings," Snape concluded.

His short speech was received with grim and anxious expressions from the rest of the Order members present (except for Sirius, who was watching him with an expression of purest loathing), though his expression, much like my own, was impossible to decipher.

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed grimly, "Thank you, Severus. That concludes out meeting for today, I would like to call the next meeting a week from now, same time. Now, I must be going, I've left Professor McGonagall in charge in my leave, though I daresay her tolerance of our new High Inquisitor has been running very fine for some time…"

Professor Dumbledore stood up to leave, as did most of the Order members present. The kitchen cleared out very quickly, except for those few who were staying for dinner, and Severus, who was hastily packing away the papers he had bought with him. Rose had the distinct impression that he was trying to leave as quickly as possible. Sirius was determinedly not looking at him.

The Professor had left the kitchen too and she hoped dearly that he was well on his way home by now and that he would not be staying for dinner.

As she watched Severus finally take his leave, she was overcome by the burning curiosity that had been ignited within her upon seeing him and daringly stood up to follow him out of the kitchen, wishing to introduce herself. She had no doubt that he had not recognised her, since the glasses obscured most of her face.

She caught up with him at the top of the deserted stair case that lead in to the hall way.

"Severus," she called out.

Severus stopped abruptly and turned to face her. His eyes narrowed curiously on seeing who had addressed him; it was clear that he was offended by the intimate use of his first name by a stranger. Knowing that Severus was not the politest of people, or least he had not been all those years ago, she took off her glasses and looked him directly in the eye.

"Remember me?" she asked, smiling happily.

Severus looked puzzled for a moment, Rose was sure he was ready to sneer, but then he seemed genuinely startled as recognition spread across his features.

"Rose Wilson?" he inquired suspiciously.

"The very same," she said, politely extending a hand. He took it.

"I didn't recognise you with the glasses on," he commented.

"I didn't think you would," she replied, "I hear you've taken up a teaching post at Hogwarts? Potions master. I must admit I never saw you as being a teacher, though congratulations all the same."

Severus inclined his head in reply, "I didn't know you were working for the Order."

"I only arrived today, I've been living in Australia since the end of the First War," she replied pleasantly, happy with the direction the conversation was going. She was certain that had she been anyone else, the Severus she had known would have been walking away already. But just at that moment, Sirius appeared at the bottom of the stair case, staring daggers at Severus.

"Well, I shouldn't deny Black from the noble duty of entertaining his guests, should I?" he said sneeringly, "I must be back at Hogwarts. Good bye."

And with that he turned swiftly on the spot and vanished down the dimly-lit corridor.

Rose rolled her eyes and said to Sirius as she followed him back in to the kitchen,

"You know, I'd have thought that you two might have at least learned to tolerate each other by now."

Sirius snorted, "I'd just as ready tolerate going back to Azkaban than I would tolerate him. He's been a nightmare."

Rose smiled, "Typical. I guess it is asking for something short of a miracle then. It really was pretty extraordinary though, how you two managed to loath each other so much."

"He's a git, you should listen to what the kids rant about him, they can't stand him at all."

Rose smiled but did not pursue the topic further; she had more important things to inquire about.

"So is he, er not Severus, the _other_ one, staying for dinner?" she asked as the children entered the room.

"Remus, you mean?" asked Sirius smirkingly.

"Who else?"

"Yeh, of course he is. He lives here."

"What?" Rose shrieked, causing a few of the teenagers to stare at her, "You never said –"

"I didn't?" he replied, looking surprised, "Wow, can't imagine how I could have forgotten something like that…"

"Nor can I," she replied dryly, "Well, I'm not ready to sit though a whole in his presence… so I think I'll be turning in early…"

"What? – No! Come on, Rose, don't be silly!"

Rose ignored him and turned to Molly who had just entered the room.

"Molly, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your husband. I really hope that they are able to treat him soon."

"Thank you, dear," said Molly appreciatively, "The healers are confident it will only be a matter of days now. Anyway, where are you going? Take a seat, we're just about to start dinner."

"Oh, I'd love to stay, Molly, the food smells wonderful," Rose said truthfully, "But I can hardly remain awake long enough, I really am exhausted, so I'll be turning in early, if that's alright with you…"

Rose saw that Molly wanted to protest, but for some reason she decided against it.

"Well, if you're sure, dear. But if you feel hungry just come right down again, there's plenty to go around."

"Thank you, Molly," she replied, and then hurried out of the kitchen before the Professor could enter.

Unfortunately, the plan did not go as well as she had planned, and just as she reached the top, the very person she had been trying to avoid appeared suddenly on the top step, and she could not help but bump right into him.

Stumbling slightly, she grabbed the banister to prevent herself from falling, just as he also grabbed hold of her other arm, looking as startled as she felt.

Their eyes meet and for a few seconds they simply stared at each other and an awkward silence descended on the stair case – Rose felt her heart beating violently against her rib cage, and the thanks she knew he deserved seemed caught in her throat. Not that he looked any better; he himself had paled distinctly.

Unable to bear his presence much longer, she tore her eyes away from his, stepped around him and hurried up to her room, where, for the second time that day, she lost herself to her tears.


	8. The Talk

Rose could not sleep. Although she was exhausted and although the clock across her bed claimed it was past midnight, she just could not sleep.

She knew why, of course. Her head was too full of everything that had happened that day – from the moment she had entered Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Over and over it played in her mind; seeing Sirius, seeing Harry, seeing _him_, the Professor, knowing that Peter was the traitor and that Voldemort had returned.

It was quite a day, an extraordinary and emotional one, and it only seemed fair that she should have the liberty of enjoying a good nights rest.

Frustrated, she jumped out of bed to see if she could find any more sleeping potion in the kitchen. Normally, she would have thought to change out of her nightwear first – she wore an elegant black satin nightgown that came to the top of her knees, and though it covered her top half well, it was tight and showed more of her figure than she would like anyone to see. However it was late at night and the house was still. She did not expect to be disturbed by anyone.

Barefoot, she quietly made her way to the kitchen. The house was very dark, and very silent. Part of her wondered if she shivered from the cold or from the eeriness of the empty corridors.

Finally, she reached the kitchen, which she pleasantly discovered to be warmer than the rest of the house; she supposed the fire hadn't been out for too long. She promptly lite the fire with her wand – though she did not intent to stay long, it was a good source of light and she was not complaining about the extra heat.

Rose fumble through the cupboards for a while, but found nothing that even vaguely resembled a sleeping draught. Frustrated she gave up, though had no desire to return to her room. There was no point trying to sleep; her mind was too awake. Instead, she settled on a hot cup of tea to calm her nerves instead.

A minute later, steaming tea in hand, she sat down at the kitchen table, and allowed herself to be lost to her thoughts. Just hours ago she had been in this very kitchen sitting three meters away from the Professor. She still did not know what to think, or how to feel. She was confused, hurt and, of course, there was the anger, although if she were honest with herself, the feeling of anger had diminished slightly (though not completely) since lunch and was gradually being replaced by frank curiosity. He was, after all, the man who had torn her heart in two and left her alone after six years together. She had even considered herself to be in love with him, until her belief in love was shattered. The man she had never wanted to lose…

She sighed deeply, pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind. She had thought about that too much already, so she resolved to enjoy her tea in silence. Her plan had even worked well for a few minutes, until…

Footsteps. Someone was coming down the kitchen stairs. Her eyes wondered to the clock on the wall; it was one thirty! Who on earth could be awake at this time of the night? She wondered.

Rose turned her eyes back towards the kitchen door and at that same moment, someone stepped in.

It was _him_.

Rose's breath caught in her throat as she fixed her eyes on him; she was too shocked to move. He stared back at her, looking equally surprised. He wore plain, worn out black pyjamas, and his hair was extremely messy, as though he had just woken up. Apparently, Rose was not the only one having trouble sleeping.

There was an awkward silence, and then –

"I'm s-sorry," he stuttered nervously, "I didn't realise anyone else would be awake…"

The years of practising how to hide and control her emotions certainly were not wasted on Rose. Though she was extremely shaken at the moment, she managed to reply with relative calm, even if her voice did tremble slightly.

"That's fine," she said with a calmness she did not feel.

Another awkward silence ensued, during which they simply watched each other uncertainly. Rose felt her heart beating frantically.

"Well," said Rose, ready to stand up, "I'll leave you to your business then."

"No."

"S-sorry?" she asked, disbelievingly.

"Stay," he said, taking a deep breathe, "Stay. I – I think we need to talk."

"Talk?" she repeated, as she watched him calmly take a seat across from her. Despite her nervousness, she suddenly felt very self conscious of her messy hair and revealing nightgown.

"Yes – talk," he replied calmly, "Seeing as how we are now living in the same house, I think there are some difference between us that we should resolve, preferably as soon as possible. I imagine it would become rather uncomfortable avoiding each other after a while, perhaps almost as uncomfortable as dealing with questions from curious teenagers."

Rose actually smiled – it was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. He has not changed at all, she thought. However, she did not soften much more than that.

"What would you like to talk about?" she asked coolly, her hands playing with her cup simply in order to give them something to do.

He studied her carefully for a moment, and then asked hesitantly, "I wanted to know, Rose, have you forgiven me?"

Rose was greatly taken aback by the straight-forwardness of his question, and by the amount of guilt that she saw in his eyes. But that did not soften, nor calm, her.

"Forgive you for what, exactly?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "You need to be a little more specific. Is it for leaving me? After six years, six long years, leaving me, just like that? Or for destroying my life? For breaking my heart?" she asked, her voice raising slightly, hers hands trembling and tongue spilling the words it had desired to speak for so long, "For sending me in to a depression so deep that I never ever truly recovered from it?

Looking very hurt, he tore his eyes away from hers, "I'm sorry, Rose, I never meant to _hurt_ you like that. I only had your best interest at heart."

"Best interest?" she whispered, blinking back tears, "Have you any idea how miserable my life has been, every since you left me?"

"I know now, Sirius told me," he said, looking at her again, "But your life would not have been any better with me, if I had been so selfish as to keep you."

"_Selfish?_" she cried, "How is it selfish? You would have made me happy as much as yourself! Don't you see, haven't you seen, after all these years? I didn't care about money, it didn't

matter that you were a werewolf, would I have stuck with you for six years if those things mattered?"

"Perhaps, I don't know, but they mattered to me," he said firmly.

Rose stared at him in disbelief. She could not believe he was really, truly, defending what he had done.

"They matted to you?" she repeated coldly, "They – your insecurities – they meant more to you, than I did?"

"No!" he said empathically, looking shocked by the question, "Do you think anything meant more to me than you? But I couldn't stay with you, Rose, I was a danger to you. I'm destitute –"

"I have money enough for the both of us!" she said hotly.

" – I'm a werewolf, I'm dangerous –"

"I'm part veela, and I've hurt people physically because of it, you never did!"

" – and I'm a social outcast," he finished, ignoring the interruptions.

"And I became one too, with out your help! Everyone back home thinks I'm some kind of cheap, man stealing whore!" said Rose passionately.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, frowning, "but I repeat it would have been selfish of me."

"And it wasn't selfish at all that you _hurt_ me so badly, just because you were so insecure?" she asked, unable to mask the hurt in her voice.

He looked dumbfounded by those words.

"Selfish?" he repeated defensively, "I gave you up for _your_ own good, it was with out question the hardest thing I've had to ever do in my life. It was worse than anything – worse –" his voice shook slightly now, " – worse than losing James, Sirius and Peter. Even worse than becoming a werewolf."

He looked away from her, starring determinedly at the fire. Rose was shocked by the confession. Over the years she had grown to believe that she can't have meant much to him if he had let her go so easily. Evidently, she was wrong.

She watched him for a moment as he avoided her gaze. There was much pain in his features. It reminded her of the pain that always showed on his face when he was snubbed for being a werewolf… she had hated seeing him like that, and even now, even though he had hurt her so much that she was not sure she could ever forgive him, even though there was still the unresolved anger, even though she still had no idea whether she liked him or not, she disliked seeing him like that.

But what stuck her most was how much she had spoken – there was no doubt that she had spoken too freely about her feelings. It was time to change the subject.

"I can't believe," she said calmly, "I can't believe, our first conversation after fourteen years a part, is an argument."

He smiled wryly and looked back towards her, causing Rose to remember how much she had loved that smile, "I can believe it. But that doesn't mean I like it. To be fair, I didn't expect much else though, I imagine you must be very angry with me."

"I'm willing to put that anger aside, for a moment," she admitted, her expression softening. The curiosity that had been growing within her all day surfaced as she remember that, even though he had ruined her life, he had more or less been her life for a very long time, and she said, "Tell me what has happened in your life since you left me, R-Remus."

She smiled slightly in self-satisfaction; she had finally said the name, although it seemed much easier now to say the name when she was seated across him.

"My life?" he asked, looking grateful that the conversation had moved to steadier ground, "There isn't much to tell, to be honest, it had been very quiet until a few years ago. Well, for a long time Voldemort vanished I did not do much, at all. I had a part time job, it paid alright, but I was too depressed to do much more than that. I stayed on that job for a year, then they found out I was a werewolf and I was fired."

Remus sighed regretfully, "Well, I got a few more jobs after that, but was fired quickly from all of them when they found out," he paused, swallowed deeply then said, "And then, a few years later, my parents died."

Rose gasped, clasping her hands to her mouth.

"No?" she asked tearfully. She had spent much time with Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, they were amazing people, "Your parents? Oh, Remus! I'm so sorry to hear! What happened?"

"They were camping, in the north. You know that place we camped at once? After graduating, near that river?"

Rose thought back, trying to recall, and nodded slowly.

"They went with a camping group, a muggle one, my father wanted to experience it muggle style…" he said sadly, "And well, there was a flash flood, the river over flowed… everyone in the group drowned…" he finished painfully.

Rose hastily blinked back tears, "That's horrible," she whispered.

Remus nodded, "Your parents are well, I trust?"

"Yes," she replied gratefully, "Yes, they are."

"That's good," he replied smiling warmly, "Well, that was very hard for me… it was hard time, you know how much my parents meant to me. The only good thing that came out of it was that I inherited my parent's property, so I didn't need to rent anymore. It was a relief, because it was becoming harder and harder to find jobs over the years. And then, two years ago, Albus contacted me and requested that I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"Sirius told me a little about that. I bet you loved it," commented Rose casually, "He is such a good man, Dumbledore."

"Yes, it was excellent, and best of all, I was able to teach Harry, James and Lily's son."

"Oh, that's right!" exclaimed Rose, "That must have been great – I just met him today, it was such a shock! For a moment I thought it was James himself."

She paused slightly for a moment and then said softly, "I miss James, and Lily."

Remus sighed, "So do I. I'm so grateful that we have Sirius back, though."

"Yeh, I've missed him so much too," Rose replied, noticing as she did that Remus tensed slightly at those words. She frowned, "What?"

"What?" Remus replied, looking startled.

"Why did you tense?"

"What are you talking about?" he said, not meeting her eyes.

"You tensed! When I said I missed Sirius, you tensed," she insisted.

"Really?" he said uncomfortably.

"Yes, really. Why did you tense?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. Have you got something against Sirius?" she asked, confused.

"Of course not."

"Then what are you hiding from me?"

"Can we just drop this, please?" he asked, uneasily.

"No," she insisted.

Remus sighed, "Fine, do you really want to know?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay," he said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, "Well, I mean, I just wanted to know, you missed Sirius, even though we all thought him to be guilty, so did you – did you miss me, at all?"

Rose as extremely taken aback by the question and was silent for a moment. Remus seemed to have taken her silence badly. He was actually blushing.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I shouldn't have asked so personal a question, you don't have to –"

"It's okay," she said, smiling comfortingly, "Of course I missed you, Remus."

Remus looked markedly relieved.

"You look relieved," she commented.

"I am. I thought – perhaps, you would be too angry at me, too hurt, because of what I did to you, to have missed me…"

"Of course I was angry and hurt, in fact, I still am," she admitted, noting that Remus looked slightly ashamed, "But of course I missed you, how could I not? And… I would like to know too, did you miss me?"

"I missed you more and more everyday," he confessed, blushing slightly as he did.

Rose smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed, and realised something. She did not hate him. It seemed ridiculous to her now to think she might have ever though she hated him. But what she felt towards him, she still as not able to say.

"It's pretty late," she said awkwardly, "I think I should be getting back to bed. I'm glad we had this talk, I needed it."

"As am I," he replied, also smiling awkwardly, "I hope that you can forgive me enough that you can tolerate my company? Seeing as how we will be living in the same house?"

"I think I can manage that," she agreed pleasantly, "Why did you come down here, by the way?"

"Oh," he replied, as though suddenly remembering that he had come down here for a reason, "I was, er, looking for some sleeping draught, actually," he said sheepishly.

Rose laughed out-right.

"Couldn't sleep? Neither could I, that's why I came down here myself, but I couldn't find any, so I settled on some tea instead."

"Oh, really?" he said, standing up and heading towards the cupboards, "I'm sure there was a supply last time I checked."

He rummaged around in the cupboards for a moment, and then –

"Ah! Here it is," he said triumphantly, pulling out a medium sized flask filled with what was unmistakably sleeping draught.

"How could I have missed that?" Rose said, looking surprised.

"I wouldn't have a clue. How many hours worth would you like?" he asked as he put forward two small cups.

"Make it eight, I don't think anyone will mind if I sleep in, will they?" she offered.

"I very much doubt they would," he agreed, handing her the cup.

Rose stood up to leave to her bedroom, though she regretted it almost immediately when she remembered what she was wearing. To her embarrassment, Remus had taken one shocked look at her attire and quickly looked away, his cheeks very pink.

"Sorry," she said bashfully, "I, er, thought everyone was asleep, so I didn't change out of my night clothes.

"I see," he said noncommittally.

"Er, well, goodnight, Remus," she said, and turned quickly for the kitchen door.

"Good night, Rose."

* * *

**Review please! :D**


	9. Night Shift

Rose woke up the following morning only to find that it was not morning at all: it was almost two o'clock.

As she sluggishly slipped out of bed, her mind wondered back quickly to the previous night and she smiled. It was an immense relief that she and Remus were at least on speaking terms now, and she only hoped that he would not give her any reason to dwell too long on the pain she still felt inside. She was not certain yet how well this would work or whether simply being in his presence would trigger her emotions. But she had promised to be civil and she had every intention of living up to that.

Slipping into a bathrobe, she quietly crossed the hallway to a bathroom Molly had showed her earlier and had a quick shower before returning, again undetected, to her bedroom, where she changed into the same designer jeans she had worn yesterday and a red and cream striped sweater she managed to find in her yet to be unpacked suitcase.

"Breakfast time," she muttered to herself after brushing her hair, and she slowly made her way to the kitchen, where she found Sirius, Molly, two of her children, Harry and Hermione having lunch. She quickly noticed that Remus was not present, and assumed he must be doing work for the Order.

"Good afternoon," she said as she entered.

There were a few mumbled replies as she took a seat next to Sirius, who was talking with Harry, and helped herself to a few sandwiches.

"Good afternoon, Rose dear, did you sleep well?" asked Molly, who was seated across from her.

"Like the dead, I couldn't really sleep so I had to take a sleeping potion, I thought I only took about eight hours worth though, I should have been up a while ago…" Rose replied apologetically.

"I expect you were just tired, after all you did arrive from Australia, your sleeping patterns must be all over the place," Molly replied kindly.

"True," Rose replied.

"Oh, that reminds me," Molly said suddenly, and she pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket.

"That arrive from Albus today, he said he forget to fill you in on what he would like to be doing for the Order."

Rose took the paper eagerly and thanked Molly for delivering it. It was a short note, basically saying that for now she would only be helping with "guard duty" – he had not elaborated, though Rose knew he meant guarding the Prophecy at the Ministry of Magic. This was no surprise for Rose, she had expected as much, though what did spark her interest was that she was to be known to everyone outside the Order as twenty-seven year old Anabelle Elizabeth Jean, an Australian tourist with dark brown hair and plain brown eyes with a habit of wearing muggle sunglasses that all but disguise her face and cheap, casual clothing.

Rose looked up at Molly, bewildered, and knew from the older woman's expression that she knew what was in the note.

"Can you believe this?" she asked, after making sure that none of the teenagers were paying attention, "He wants me to disguise myself… Anabelle Elizabeth Jean? What kind of name is that?"

Molly smiled amusedly, "I think it's a lovely name. Anabelle Jean, it's very pretty, isn't it?"

At that moment Sirius decided to join the conversation as Harry and his friends had left the room, leaving the three of them alone.

"Anabelle's jeans? Who's Anabelle?" he asked.

"Anabelle Elizabeth Jean, Sirius, not Anabelle's jeans," said Rose, chuckling slightly at Sirius's mistake, "Professor Dumbledore wants me to pretend to be a twenty-seven year old Australian tourist with plain brown eyes, dark brown hair and an obsession with muggle sunglasses and cheap clothes by the name of Anabelle Elizabeth Jean."

"Oh," he said simply, "How come he wants you to disguise yourself?"

Rose frowned, thinking the same thing, "I don't know."

"He explained it to me," said Molly, "First of all, you're too pretty as you are, dear, you will attract too much attention to yourself, and consequently the Order, so he is hoping by tweaking your hair and eye colour it might make you a little plainer, it also helps disguise you, in case anyone, such as Pettigrew, recognises you. And the glasses are just an extra precaution, because you could still be recognised even if we change your hair and eye colour, even though the last time Pettigrew saw you, you were only twenty-one years old."

"Oh," said Rose simply, blushing slightly at the compliment paid to her and shivering at the thought that Peter Pettigrew would readily betray her to Voldemort, "Do you think I can pull of looking twenty-seven, though? I mean, I'm thirty-five…"

"Of course you can," said Molly instantly, "You don't look your age at all, I was very surprised when I saw you actually, knowing that you were the same age as Sirius, you look so much younger."

"I don't see why Dumbledore is only asking you to change your hair and eye colour," said Sirius frowning slightly in thought, "I mean, how easy would it be to transfigure your nose into something massive, thicken your eyebrows, thin your lips and throw in a wart or too?"

Rose grimaced at Sirius's less than charming description and said, "I already told him I don't risk transfiguring my appearance any more, after someone I know back in Australia became stuck with a horrible, thick monobrow."

Sirius snorted, Rose smiled and rolled her eyes, and continued.

"Well, anyway, I can just use muggle contact lenses to change my colour, if I use the proper charms on the lenses I can make it look like it really is my real eye colour, and as for hair, well, it doesn't really matter if it goes wrong, I can just cut it, it will grow back. But I'm more worried about the name, that's not very Australian at all! Still, I don't suppose many Londoner's would know that."

Molly looked a little surprised by how protective Rose was of her appearance, but did not comment, instead she said, "Well, at least no one will recognise you as Rose Wilson, so we won't have to worry too much about anyone realising that you were part of the original order and therefore probably back here for the same reason."

"Excellent," Rose said happily. The idea was growing on her – even the name Anabelle Elizabeth Jean sounded much better now than it did a few minutes ago, "Do you know when I will be expected to have my first shift?" she asked Molly.

"Yes, tonight actually, from 5 pm to midnight."

Rose was startled.

"But that's seven hours!" she exclaimed with wide eyes.

Molly sighed, "I know, but we can't afford any less, seeing as how we don't have many members of the Order who are free from work commitments, especially now that Arthur is in hospital and I have to stay here to watch the children. Plus we can't risk changing guards too often, because that's when we risk being seen."

Rose nodded in understand, "Fair enough, makes sense."

It would be dull work, she knew, though given that it was only a few days ago that Arthur Weasely had been attacked by a massive snake while doing the task, she knew it was not to be taken lightly.

Rose spent the next to hours just chatting with Molly and Sirius – about Molly's family, about Sirius's time in Azkaban, about her own life back in Australia, and, of course, about everything Rose needed to know about her guarding duty – from detailed profiles of all known Unspeakables who are allowed access to the Department of Mysteries, to a quick study of a map of the Ministry. Then, at ten to five Mundungus Fletcher finally arrived with the invisibility cloak that Rose would be using on her shift.

"It's about time too," scoffed Molly disapprovingly at Mundungus, "You should have arrived twenty minutes ago."

"Eh, I got caught up, see," said Mundungus, shifting uncomfortably on his feet, "Ran into a frien' of mine on me way, and eh, we 'ad some business to attend to."

Molly gave him a reproachful look and Rose know that she would rather not know exactly what kind of 'business' Mundungus had been involved in. Rather than commenting however, she held her tongue and turned to Rose instead, gave her the cloak and repeated the instructions.

"Now, remember, dear," she began, "Tonks will be waiting for you outside the workers entrance so she can sneak you. Just whisper in her ear that you're there, and don't forget to keep the cloak on at all times! She'll lead you inside, you'll know you should follow her when she scratch's her right ear, then you can slip down the staircase to level nine, and station yourself outside the large black door. Oh, and remember to approach on your left side, Remus will be standing against the right wall. That way you won't bump into each other."

Rose repeated the information in her head.

"Okay, I think I've got it – only, one thing, if I'm wearing the cloak, and so will the person on guard before me, how will he or she know when to leave?"

"Oh!" cried Molly, "Yes, you reminded me, you'll need the ring, here –"

She walked over the chest of draws on the side of the room and took out a ring, which she handed over to Rose. It was plain, silver looking, with a small black stone set in it. Rose slipped it on, and looked at Molly quizzically.

"When you arrive down there, just turn the stone red using your wand. Remus will be wearing the other one – he's on guard duty now – when his ring turns red, he'll know he can leave. He will turn his own ring back to black, and yours will change too, so you will know that he has received the message. So watch out for your own ring too, at around midnight it should turn red and you will know you can leave."

"Okay, thank you, Molly, for your help," said Rose, smiling politely. She said her goodbyes to Molly and Mundungus, then, seeing that Sirius looked a little down – no doubt because she was 

leaving to do work for the order and he was trapped in the house – she patted hit reassuringly on the shoulder and gave him an extra smile, "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

He simply nodded, and Rose turned to leave the house, putting the cloak on as she walked to the door way.

It was a very good quality cloak, she noticed, not quite as light and silky as the one James had owned, but it was better than others. She grinned as she remembered the number of times she had watched the boys disappear under it, and even the few times she and Remus had used it to sneak out of the castle to enjoy a romantic evening alone after hours.

After checking that she was completely covered by the cloak, Rose stepped out of the house and apparated from the front footstep to the Ministry of Magic.

She knew instantly as she reappeared that the apparition had worked when cold air struck her from all directions. She shivered, wishing she had thought to wear a jacket. Looking around her she saw the building that she knew was the Ministry of Magic, and standing in front of it, looking thoroughly bored, was a pink haired girl who Rose immediately recognised as Tonks.

She approached her as quickly and as silently as her feet would allow.

"Tonks," she whispered into her ear, "It's me, Rose."

Tonks started slightly, but quickly recovered her bored demeanour, and casually scratched her ear – the signal that Rose should follow her.

Tonks made her way quickly into the Ministry, which Rose was glad to see was partial empty – most workers were on their way home at the moment. She could feel her excitement build up as she made her way through the atrium towards the – thankfully – isolated staircase. This was 

her first work in the order for over a decade, even if it was a seven hour guarding shift, she felt honoured knowing that she was trusted to help against Voldemort – the man who had killed her best friend and countless other innocents.

Leaving Tonks behind near the lifts, she dodged a small man wearing absurdly bright orange robes and slipped down into the staircase. As quickly as she dared, she descended the stairs, going down many flights before she finally reached Level Nine – the Department of Mysteries. Unlike the rest of the building she had glimpsed, his floor was incredibly plain, with only one black door at the end, and a corridor leading off the main one. There were no even any windows.

Rose approached the door slowly against the left wall, knowing that Remus was waiting for her against the right wall. Her stomach tingled slightly – he was so close to her, and she could not even see him.

When she reached her place against the wall, Rose held her wand up to the ring she wore on her left hand and silently cast the spell. A second later, the black stone had changed to red. Rose watched the ring intently, waiting for Remus to change his own back to black. Ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds passed, and still nothing. Rose started to panic – what if he had been attacked while on guard?

But then, forty seconds later, her ring turned black again, and she let out a silent sigh of relief. He was okay.

So, now it was time to wait. And wait she did. After an hour or so, the excitement started to wear thin, and Rose was wishing that she could go back to Grimmauld place. But she knew this was important work for the Order, so she quickly cast a healing spell on her aching feet and forced herself to remain vigilant.

Nothing happened at all in the corridor until well past ten o'clock, when an Unspeakable she knew was called Julian Garwood strode determinedly into the corridor.

After many hours of standing in the totally silent hallway, Rose received quite a fright when the man emerged from the staircase – she had not even heard him approaching. She pressed herself against the wall, very glad that the corridor was wide enough that Garwood could pass easily without the worry that he might bump into her.

She watched him intently – she had been warned to look out for signs of polyjuice potion or the imperious curse. However the man was certainly walking with the same swagger that Garwood did in the pictures she had seen of him, and wore the same confident and illusive expression, with none of the vagueness that was caused by the imperious curse.

A moment later he was gone, lost behind the black door that lead in to the department. Rose watched the door long after he had vanished behind it – she had always had some degree of fascination by Unspeakables. She had great respect for the way they were so talented at keeping their work a secret. In her youth she had always thought it would be exciting to be an Unspeakable even though she knew that she was not up to the job; she had little control over her emotions in those days and more or less wore her heart on her sleeve. She mused silently, wondering whether she would be suitable for the role know; she certain had a large degree of control over which emotions showed on her face when she wanted to. But she would not be interested in the job anyway, especially not if turning up to work at a little past ten, as Julian Garwood had, was a normal part of the job.

The remaining hour and bit of her shift past without anymore activity and by the time it was a few minutes to twelve o'clock, she had stationed herself against the right wall so the new comer would not bump into her, and her eyes were constantly dashing back and forth between the corridor and her ring. She did not know who would be taking the next shift, and at the moment she was so tired that she did not care at all. When her ring finally changed to bright red, it took quite a bit of restraint to stop her self from crying out in joy. She quickly turned the ring back to black and quietly made her way up the staircase.

The rest of the ministry, she noticed, was as silent and still as Level Nine had been and just as dimly lit. No doubt, no one was so devoted to work that they would remain here to late, except, of course for Unspeakable Julian Garwood. She made a mental note to include that in the 

comments section when she signed off at Grimmauld place. Molly had not mentioned whether it was a normal part of the job for Unspeakables to appear at work so late at night.

When Rose finally returned to Grimmauld Place, she found the house to be dark and silent. Assuming everyone to be asleep, she dashed to the empty kitchen and stored her invisibility cloak and ring in the drawer where the person on the next shift would pick it up and quickly signed of her name on the guard checklist and recorded everything she thought might be relevant.

Yawning loudly, she retreated to bed, confident that tonight there would be no need for a sleeping potion.


	10. Picture Perfect

Rose slept in again the next day. And the two days after that was well. She could not help it – her first shift had left her exhausted and she had a few other shifts the following days which were as exhausting as the first. Due to this, she was spending very little time with the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place. It seemed that the only time she spoke to Sirius was at meal times, and even then, there was not much said since she was usually exhausted and interested mainly in her food. As for Harry, she was really hoping to have a proper conversation with but the most she had time for so far was idle chat with him and his friends. Then, of course, there was Remus. He was away from the house for such long periods of time that she wondered whether he was doing it just to avoid her. They had barely spoken two words to each other since that late night in the kitchen.

So, all things considered, Rose was very happy to wake up one Saturday morning (if one considered eleven thirty to be truly morning) knowing that her next shift was not until Sunday evening.

After a quick shower, she went down stairs for lunch but, to her surprise, the only person she found there was glum looking Sirius, who was seated with his body slouched on the table, his chin resting on his folded arms, staring blankly at the wall.

"Where is everyone?" she asked as she slipped into a seat next to him.

"St Mungo's," he said in a flat, bored voice.

"What? Did they all develop dragon pox overnight or something?" Rose asked, wanting to make him laugh.

"Ha ha," he said dryly, but he still sat up straight and looked at her, "They went to visit Arthur again."

"Harry too?" she asked, frowning, "Is that safe?"

"Don't worry, Mad-Eye and Moony took them," he assured her, "They'll be fine."

Rose laughed.

"What?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's nothing, well, I mean, you called him Moony," she said, smiling reminiscently, "I forgot about those names… what was yours again? Bigfoot?"

Sirius snorted.

"Bigfoot? Honestly, woman, it's Padfoot!"

"Oh, yeh, I remember now," she said.

Rose reclined back in her chair, resting her knees against the table.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs…" she whispered, she shook the thought out of her head and brought herself back to the present, "So, Remus went with them, did he?"

"Yep," replied Sirius, who was now slouching in his seat.

"Is he always out of the house this often?" she asked curiously, "I've hardly seen him at all."

"Yeh, well, he's been a bit busier than usual these last two weeks, he had a task of some kind to do for Dumbledore, he finished it yesterday though, so I expect to see him around more often," replied Sirius.

Rose could not help but notice the happy note in Sirius' tone as he said that.

"Oh."

"What, did you think he was avoiding you or something?" Sirius asked shrewdly.

Rose smiled, and bit her lip nervously, "Well, yeh, I wondered whether that was the case…"

He considered her for a moment, then said, with a smirk, "Don't worry, he isn't avoiding you, it takes more than sexy lingerie to scare off good old Remus John Lupin."

It took Rose a moment to understand what Sirius was talking about.

"He _told_ you?" she asked indignantly, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Sirius grinned apologetically, "Well, I forced it out of him actually… he was blushing like crazy when he came back up to the room we're sharing. I don't think he wanted to tell me, but, hey, you know how I can be," he finished, shrugging casually.

"Yes, I see someone hasn't changed at all," she replied wryly.

They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting together, waiting for the rest to arrive home. Rose loved Sirius' company, he was always great fun. It was like having a real friend again, something she had not had in many years. She liked to think too that when she was around to keep him company, he was less likely to brood about other things.

It was a few hours before the rest returned. According to Sirius, they had left only ten minutes before Rose came downstairs. Rose was happy to see them return – this was going to be her chance to talk to Harry.

Rose looked keenly for a head of messy black hair as the many red-haired youths flooded into the room (and, though she did not like to admit it, she was always on the look out for a certain Remus Lupin). She spotted Harry immediately though Remus was no where to be seen. Rose heard Molly telling Sirius that he was accompanying Alastor Moody to the Ministry.

Before Rose could spend much time contemplating that piece of information, her attention was drawn by Harry, who had purposely taken the seat right besides her.

"Hello," he said politely, "How are you?"

"I'm excellent," she said, beaming, "How about you? Enjoying your holidays?"

"Yeh, they've been great, it's good to get away from the school, now that Umbridge is the Hogwarts High Dictator – er, I mean, _Inquisitor_," he said, rolling his eyes.

Rose laughed, "I've heard. She must be a nightmare. I can't stand her, and I only just meet her myself when I visited Dumbledore at Hogwarts, and I'm happy to say I snobbed her off quite rudely."

Harry smiled at this, and Rose smiled at the fact that she had made him smile. She felt incredibly happy, sitting there with her best friend's son. The resemblance between him and his father was simply uncanny.

"I've been wanting to speak to you for a while, Harry," she said truthfully.

Harry nodded, "So have I."

He hesitated for a moment, then said, "I was wondering, why didn't you ever visit me? I would have liked to meet you sooner."

Rose smiled sadly, "I wanted to, but Dumbledore warned that I shouldn't visit while you were staying with your aunt and uncle, not to mention, it was hard for me to come back to this country, after I lost so much here…"

Harry nodded understandably.

"So, could – could you tell me about my mum? I mean, you were her best friend…" he asked, looking hopeful.

"Oh, of course!" Rose agreed excitedly, "Oh, where do I start? Your mum was such a character Harry. She was a great friend, always fun to be with. A little fiery too, I guess you could say, I mean, trust me, Harry, you did _not_ want Lily Evans to be mad at you. She was a prefect, I think you know that? Really, she was the best prefect you could have asked for, even though she took it seriously, she still let me sneak out of the castle in the evenings every now and then."

Rose paused to take in the look of delight on young Harry's face.

"Has anyone ever spoken to you about your mother before?" she asked.

"Well, yeh, but only a bit. They tend to talk about my dad more," he admitted, "I guess that's because the people I talk to – like Sirius – knew my dad better than my mum."

Rose considered him for a moment. She felt sorry for the boy – it must be horrible being orphaned at such a young age.

"Well, how about I bring down my photo album, then?" she suggested, "That way I can tell you all about your mum and what was going on in her life based on the pictures."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Harry agreed.

Such a polite boy, she thought to herself happily. It was talking quite a bit of self control to stop herself hugging him.

"Cool," she said, standing up, "I'll go get the album."

Rose rushed upstairs excitedly and grabbed her album from her wardrobe (she had finally unpacked two days ago).

"Here is it!" she said, putting it down on the table between herself and Harry. It was a large album with a handsome cream coloured cover, "I haven't looked at this in years, to be honest."

She opened it, and the first page there was a picture of her seventeen year old self sitting comfortably next to Remus Lupin in the almost empty Gryffindor common room. She hastily turned the page, thinking that perhaps they were seated a little _too_ comfortably for Harry too 

see. It seemed from his expression that he had not noticed anything, though, and for that she was thankful.

The next few pages had pictures of herself and Lily in their fifth year.

"Wow, she looks so young!" exclaimed Harry, looking closely at the pictures, "I don't have many pictures from their days in Hogwarts."

"Really? I have heaps. I'll tell you what, how about I make a copy of all the pictures with your parents in them later."

Harry received that news happily, and so they embarked together through the album, with Rose pausing occasionally to comment or tell a small story ("That was in our sixth year, your mother caught James and Sirius trying to prank some first years – see how her eyes look scary when she's angry?" and, "She used to love dipping her feet in the lake in the summer.").

The only draw back was that Peter Pettigrew was on a couple of the pictures (admittedly, not many. Rose was not as close with him as she was with the others). Both Harry and Rose choose to simply ignore his presence.

"Oooh, photo's!" exclaimed Sirius as he joined Harry and myself, "How come you didn't tell me you were looking at pictures? Oh, look at that one, I haven't had such short hair in ages!"

Rose rolled her eyes, "That's why, Sirius, your motor mouth."

"Don't be such a spoil sport, Rose," Sirius said, grinning, "Come on, let's share these with everyone, we can't deny them the chance to see how handsome I was."

Before Rose could object, Sirius waved his wand and the pictures in the album were being projected perfect against the wall.

"See, when I turn a page here –" he leaned forward and turned the page, "– the pictures on the wall change too. Neat, eh, Harry?"

"Yeh, real cool, Sirius," he replied amusedly.

"Hey, nice hair, Sirius!" shouted one of the Weasley twins (Rose still had trouble telling which was which), while the other one wolf whistled.

The next half an hour passed with Sirius and myself commenting to the pictures, our audience now being everyone who was in the kitchen. Harry was enjoying himself immensily and Rose could have sworn that his eyes watered slightly when Sirius turned the page to reveal a talking picture of his mother and father.

"I didn't know you could do that," commented Hermione, looking very impressed, "It's almost like a muggle video recording. All the talking pictures I've seen have people who seem to think for themselves, rather than actually reliving what happened in the moment."

"Yeh, it's a pretty complicated method actually, you can't use a normal camera for it –" Rose was cut off by a crash followed by a screaming voice in the corridor outside the kitchen.

"_Filth! Half-breeds and freaks! Befouling the house of my father!"_

"Er," said Rose, looking over at Sirius, who was commenting on James' hair, "I'll get that Sirius, you continue with the story."

Rose hurried up to the corridor where the she found Tonks struggling to get up from the floor, her face flushed red, Faylinn Goodwill looking incredulously at the screeching portrait of Sirius' mother and Remus, tugging roughly at the curtains meant to cover the portrait.

Rose rushed forward to help him, and together they pulled the curtains closed, instantly silencing the portrait.

Rose turned to look at Tonks.

"Are you okay?" she asked, watching her as she straightened up.

"Fine," she said, "It's that horrible umbrella stand. It's _always_ in the way!"

Tonks glared at the troll-leg umbrella stand then kicked it.

"Stupid thing," she mumbled.

"Maybe you should ask Sirius to move it out of the way?" suggested Faylinn.

"She did," replied a smiling Remus, as the four made their way to the kitchen, "The thing is, it already _is_ out of the way."

"Thanks, Lupin, that makes me feel so much better," Tonks said sarcastically.

Rose chuckled to herself as she led the way down the stairs. Then, she stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" asked Remus, who was standing on the step just behind her.

"What's what sound?" she asked.

They all paused for a moment, and in the silence they could hear a young, feminine voice drifting out from the kitchen. She was singing; her voice was powerful, as though the person singing could relate directly to the lyrics.

" – _m__ost people would turn you away  
I don't listen to a word they say_,"

Rose felt her eyes widen in horror as she recognised the lyrics and the youthful voice. One quickly glance at Remus told her he had recognised it too. Instantaneously, they both bolted down the kitchen stairs, with Tonks and Faylinn, both looking very confused, close behind.

Rose burst in to the kitchen and froze in horror as she saw the projection of her seventeen year old self holding a magical microphone, standing on a temporary stage and _singing_.

"_They don't see you as I do  
I wish they would try to,"_

At that point, the projection-Rose fixed her gaze intently at someone in the Gryffindor common room. The real Rose followed her gaze, knowing exactly who she would see. And, sure enough, there sat the seventeen year old Remus, who was looking back at her younger self with obvious affection.

"_I'm sure they'd think again  
If they had a friend like –_"

"_Sirius Black!_" cried the older Rose, cutting off the ending of the song, "_What_ do you think you're doing?"

Sirius did not reply. Rose did not think he could have, even if he wanted to; he was laughing hysterically, his hands clutching his sides and tears slipped down his face. Rose glared at him, but he did not notice. In fact, he started laughing even harder as the projection-Rose finished her song and, amidst great applause from the projection-students of Gryffindor Tower (and the occupants of the kitchen at number 12 Grimmauld Place), jumped of the stage, right into the hands of a smiling projection-Remus, who promptly dragged her towards the stairs that lead towards the boys dormitory.

Fighting a blush, Rose jumped forward and slammed the photo album shut. Before she could chastise Sirius for allowing everyone to watch the performance, her attention was attracted by Molly.

"That was a _lovely_ performance, Rose dear!" she cried fondly, "Absolutely lovely, it reminds me so much of the time Celestina Warbeck –"

"Thank you, Molly," Rose said, with a strained smile.

Her eyes shifted to Remus, who was blushing furiously as he took a seat next to Sirius, carefully avoiding looking at anyone in the room, especially the Weasley twins who were sending him exaggerated winks. Harry and Ron were both smirking, Faylinn was grinning and Tonks looked like she was in danger of losing her eyebrows amongst her pink hair.

Rose sat down across Sirius and Remus, banished the photo album back up to her bedroom and started eating a sandwich which had been left over from lunch to avoid having to speak to anyone. Unfortunately, Sirius had other plans.

"Ah, karaoke night," said Sirius, wiping away the last of his tears, "That was classic. Great performance, Rose."

"There wouldn't have even been a performance if you hadn't entered my name _behind my back_," Rose reminded him sharply.

"Well, _I'm_ not the one who forced you to dedicate it to Remus –"

"Actually, yes you were, Sirius," said Remus dryly, speaking for the first time since entering the kitchen. His blush seemed to have lessened too.

"Oh, yeh…" said Sirius.

Remus looked at Rose and rolled his eyes at their friend's behavior, which she returned with an exasperated expression, though did not wish to say anything, and so continued to eat her sandwich instead.

The clip of her dedicating the song to Remus, as well as all the other pictures in the album left Rose feeling slightly shaken. They vividly bought back happy memories she had forced out of her consciousness years ago. They had looked so young, so relaxed, so _happy_ together. And then there was the look they had shared while she was singing; it was just so _loving_. She and Remus certainly did not share _that_ look anymore.

She watched him from the corner of her eye as he chatted casually with Tonks and Faylinn. She realized then, as she watched him, that as adamant as she was that there was no such thing as love, Rose could help but sorely miss those days when she had so happily believed herself to be in love with him.

* * *

**Lyrics from Michael Jackon's ****Ben****. Please review! **


	11. The Offer

For a Thursday afternoon, Grimmauld Place was quiet. The children were back at school, Molly and Arthur Weasley had moved back to The Burrow, Remus was on guard duty and Sirius was upstairs alone with Buckbeak.

Rose sat alone in the kitchen eating her lunch. She had enjoyed having the company of the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione; they added much life to the house and guaranteed that there would rarely be a dull or lonely moment, unless one chose to purposely stay from others. Now that they were gone, there was only Sirius and Remus for company, though Sirius was now spending most of his time with Buckbeak, and Remus was hardly in the house at all. If he wasn't on guard duty, he would be doing some other work for Dumbledore. Sometimes he did not even come home at night at all. He had not even been home for three days.

Rose was not going to pretend that she was sorry he was always out of the house. It was very awkward for her to be around him, especially when she did not understand her own feelings towards him. She was extremely confused; at times she missed what they had shared, and being around him intensified that, though at the same time she has not forgotten nor forgiven how much he had hurt her.

A sound in the corridor told her that someone had arrived at the house, and she made her way quickly up stairs to receive the guest. She wondered who could be calling at this time of the day – people were always coming to leave news for Dumbledore, though they usually arrived in the evening when they weren't busy with work.

Rose reached the landing, only to find that it was extremely dark. She could see a figure near the door, though she could not even tell if it was a male or female. Taking out her wand, she magically lit the chandelier.

Light flooded the corridor and Rose was very taken-aback when she realised it was Remus.

"Oh," she said, "It's you."

She realised immediately as she said the words how rude they sounded.

Remus raised his eyebrows and said, "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking. And your self?"

"Er, sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I was just surprised –" she said uncomfortably.

But Remus cut her off with a smile, "It's okay. I was joking."

He took off his battered cloak and hung it near the door. As she watched him Rose quickly realised that this was the first time she had been alone with him since the night they had meet in the kitchen.

"I'm having lunch now," she said in what she hoped was a polite tone, "There's a few sandwiches left if you're hungry…"

"Thank you, I'll be down in a moment, I just need to change into cleaner robes," he said, looking down at his robes. Rose followed his gaze and saw that they were covering in mud in some places.

"How did that happen?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"The werewolves I'm working with don't live in the cleanest of environments," he said simply.

Rose shrugged, "Fine, I'll be in the kitchen, then," she said coolly, and promptly turned away and made her way back to the kitchen.

A moment later, though, she scolded herself for being so abrupt. She had promised to be civil and she really should not let her discomfort get in the way of that. She turned around to say something more polite, though she had no idea what. However Remus was already ascending the stairs and before she could think of anything to say, he was out of sight.

Rose sighed and made her way to the kitchen where she waited nervously for him to return while she continued her lunch. When he did enter the kitchen a few minutes later, she wished dearly what Sirius would stop brooding and join them.

"Hi," she said, making a point of smiling politely as an attempt to amend for her earlier behaviour, "Sirius already ate so you can have as much as you like."

"Thank you," he said gratefully, "I'm starving."

He sat down opposite Rose and helped himself to a sandwich.

"This is excellent," he said after a moment, "I'm assuming you made this? It certainly can't have been Sirius."

"Yeh, thanks, I did make them," she said, grateful, though amazed, at how casually he was acting around her, almost as if they did not have a complex history at all, "I know what you mean about Sirius, I learned the hard way not to trust anything he cooks…"

Remus nodded in agreement, "So did I."

There was a short period of silence after that during which Rose grew increasingly agitated, though Remus seemed perfectly at ease. She saw it as an awkward silence; something she could not stand.

"So, what have you been doing these last few days?" she asked.

"The usual," he said warily, as he reached for another sandwich, "Living with the other werewolves."

Rose remembered that Remus had hated that task back when he was on the original order.

"How is that coming along?" she asked curiously.

"Not very good, to be honest," he said, sighing softly, "I have to get them to trust me before I can really start getting the message across. It's been hard though, it is too obvious that I've been associating with the rest of the Wizarding community – and they resent that."

Rose nodded, she remembered too well the struggles he had gone through to gain their trust in the first war.

"That's a shame," she murmured softly, "Mistrusted by wizards for being a werewolf, and mistrusted by werewolves for trying to live like a Wizard."

Remus sighed but did not say anything. Rose continued to watch him. She had always hated the fact that he was a werewolf – not because she had anything against werewolves, but simply because of all the pain and hardship it had caused him; the monthly transformations, the poverty, the social rejection. It had even caused her much pain – first when he rejected her because of it, then when she came across him as a werewolf and he attacked her, and the last time being when he finally left her.

"Has there been any sign of Death Eaters recruiting werewolves?" she asked bitterly, remembering that he had used that as an excuse when he choose to leave her.

Remus watched her intently for a moment before answering the question, as if trying to read her mind. Rose knew that he too was thinking back to that night. Rose watched him back, and she almost shivered from the familiarity of his gaze.

"No," he said simply, "Not yet, anyway. Albus believes it is only a matter of time before Voldemort requites a werewolf though. He's worried. He isn't comfortable sending me to live with them anyway more. Soon, it won't be safe."

"So what are you going do, then?" she asked.

"Albus has a plan," he said slowly, "I guess I'll have to wait and see how that goes."

Rose could not help but notice that he was avoiding her gaze as he said that. She wondered whether he was hiding something from her. Before she could ask however, the sound of the front door opening filled the room and Rose, who had finished eating, stood up to receive the guest.

"I'll get it, you keep eating," she muttered.

He nodded. Rose noticed he seemed slightly tense. Brushing off the thought, she quickly ascended the stairs though before she reached the top, a tall figure appeared in front of her.

"Professor Dumbledore!" she exclaimed, very taken-aback, "What a surprise."

"Yes, indeed," he replied, smiling pleasantly, "I hope I am not interrupting anything."

"No, not at all," she said as they made their way in to the kitchen.

Rose was very surprised; the only time she had seen Professor Dumbledore at Grimmauld Place was during meetings.

Rose resumed her seat at the table and Professor Dumbledore sat down across from her, next to Remus.

"Well, Rose, it seems I have a found something that you can do for the Order," he said seriously.

Rose immediately sat up straight, "Really?" she said hopefully.

"Yes," he said smiling gently, "I trust Remus told you about the little predicament he is in?"

"Yes," said Rose slowly, looking at Remus in confusion, "And what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, you see, it will be dangerous for Remus to go alone, we have both agreed that what he needs is back-up, someone who can go with him and help him out if any dangerous situation should arise."

"Right…" she said slowly as the dread inside her mounted.

"The problem is though that the werewolves are very anti-wizard and will rarely allow any non-werewolf in amongst their ranks," he continued gravely, "There is one exception however. I trust you know that female werewolves are unable to have children? The monthly transformations always result in miscarriages."

Rose nodded. She had no idea what pregnant werewolves had to do with anything, though she listened intently all the same. She noticed too that Remus was looking rather wary, though he, at least, seemed familiar with the plan.

"Because of that, werewolves will generally be tolerant of any female non-werewolf who is introduced by a male werewolf as his girlfriend or wife, because that allows them to have children. Admittedly it is a rather rare occurrence, firstly, because most werewolves are too suspicious of non-werewolves, and also because not many witches are willing to date a werewolf either."

Rose gaped at him. Did he mean what she thought he did? Her eyes flickered towards Remus. He was starting intently at the wall behind her.

"So – so, you want me to go with him, undercover, pretending to be his girlfriend?" she asked incredulously.

Dumbledore beamed, "Yes, that is exactly right."

Rose sat backwards in her chair, still looking at Dumbledore in disbelief.

"Why me?" she asked suspiciously, "Anyone can do it."

"No, they can't actually," Dumbledore corrected her, "No one else is free to be away for days, even weeks at a time. And even if they were, most women, even members of the Order would refuse to kiss a werewolf."

"K-kiss?" Rose stuttered, "I thought it would only be pretend?"

"Er, well yes," said Dumbledore, clearing his throat, his eyes flashing momentarily towards Remus, who was now blushing furiously and determinedly avoiding eye contact with anyone else, "You see, the werewolves tend to be, er, very rather public with their displays of affection. So you would need to kiss in public to convince them…"

Rose starred at him with her mouth hanging slightly open, her heart beating wildly. Was Dumbledore really asking her to pretend to be Remus' girlfriend and kiss him publicly? _Remus Lupin_, her ex-boyfriend, of all people? She felt a prickle of anger.

"And what makes you think _I_ would be inclined to accept this offer?" she asked coldly, "I suppose you think I'm some kind of loose woman? Or perhaps you thought I might agree, because it's _him_?"

Rose stood up angrily and pushed her chair aside; Dumbledore looked grim and startled at her words while Remus covered his face with his hands in apprehension. He at least, seemed to have expected this reaction.

"Well, let me tell you, Professor, that I am _not_ loose, and I want nothing to do with Lupin or this assignment! I don't _like_ him, he ruined my life – and I'm not about to let him do it again!"

And with that she turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen once again, taking herself and her injured pride up to her room where she could fume in peace.


	12. The Burrow

"Come on!"

"No."

"_Please_? It'll be fun! An adventure! Just like the good old days."

"_No._"

"Just think about all the good you'll be doing for the Order! How many innocent lives you might save? All that _and_ free snogging too! Does it get any better?"

Rose glared at him, "Sirius, you have _no_ tact."

Sirius sighed and slouched back against the wall opposite Rose's bed.

"Well, how else am I meant to make you see reason?" he asked, throwing his hands against his side in defeat.

Rose raised her eyebrows, "You came pretty close to a decent argument with your for-the-good-of-the-Order point, though you ruined that one pretty quickly."

"Okay, so kissing Remus isn't your favourite pass-time anymore," he said dramatically, "_Fine_. But seriously, Rose, this is important. Imagine what Voldemort could do with an army of werewolves! Dumbledore it right, you are more or less the only real option."

"Yeh? I don't see why you can't polyjuice into a woman and join him," she retorted.

Sirius snorted and Rose felt the corners of her mouth twitch.

"That's just disgusting. Let's never go there again," he said, "Anyway, I mean, would you want some other woman to go with Remus, knowing that she'll be getting all comfy with him?"

Rose did not reply, though she frowned slightly. If she was honest with herself she would hate the idea of someone else doing it – the problem was though, that she hated being the one to do it herself.

Sirius smiled knowingly, "Thought so."

Rose considered him for a moment, "Why are you so eager for me to go, anyway? Don't you realise this means you will be alone in here again with Kreacher? With me and Remus gone?"

Sirius shrugged, "I know, but I don't want Remus to get hurt."

"Any other women could back him up as well as I could."

Sirius shook his head, "That's not what I mean. If you insist on saying no, Dumbledore will have to speak to other female Order members to see if anyone is interested. And I have to say, I doubt many of them would be – either because he is a werewolf or because he doesn't appeal to them physically. He tries to hide it, but you know how much it used to hurt him when he was snubbed for being a werewolf. It's still the same; he's insecure; this would only make it worse. Beside, I doubt he'd be happy about getting cosy with any other women."

"And he'd be comfortable with me?" Rose asked sceptically. She was impressed by the way Sirius was worried about Remus, but her own sympathy was more reserved.

"It's not like he's never kissed you before," he pointed out.

"He has no _right_ to be comfortable with me," she said heatedly, "He should be ashamed of what he did to me. How does he feel about this anyway?"

"I can't say he's happy about it, but he _does_ seem to prefer you instead of anyone else."

"Humphf!" cried Rose, crossing her arms against her chest.

"And you know, you really hurt him, just before… when you said you didn't like him and that he ruined your life…"

"The truth hurts, doesn't it? And anyway, he hurt me more," she murmured defensively, but she did feel a little uncomfortable knowing she had hurt him.

There as a moment's silence, then –

"So…" said Sirius conversationally, "Will you go with him?"

"No!" snapped Rose.

"Aw, come on!" he whined.

Rose stood at the kitchen door. Remus had his back turned to her as he prepared dinner and Sirius was slouched at the table, looking half asleep. Neither man realised she was there.

"Sirius," she said firmly. She completely ignored Remus, who had jumped and turned to face her when she had spoken.

"What?" asked Sirius. He then noticed her outfit; she was wearing a thick, warm cloak and beanie, as well as her muggle sunglasses, "Where are you going?"

"To visit Molly," she said shortly, "I'll be at the Burrow if you need me."

"How are you getting there?" he asked.

"Apparating."

"Okay, don't forget your name is Anabelle Elizabeth Jean and you're an Australian tourist, if anyone asks…"

Rose smiled, "I won't. Anyway, see you later, I guess."

Rose turned around and made her way up the stairs and into the corridor. After a few hours of thinking she had decided what she really needed was to talk to someone about her situation. Even though she had insisted that she would not take the role, Sirius had at least managed to persuade her to give it some more thought. She suspected he was acting on Dumbledore's Orders.

As Rose fumbled absentmindedly with the many locks on the door, a hand clasped down on her shoulder. She gasped and spun around only to find Remus standing right in front of her.

"What the hell were you thinking," she breathed, clasping her hand to her chest as her heart beat frantically, "You scared the living day light out of me!"

"Sorry," he said awkwardly, "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to have a word before you left."

Rose considered him coldly, "I'm not interested in whatever you have to say, _Lupin_."

Remus looked thoroughly taken aback by her addressing him by his last name, but he quickly regained his composure. His soft brown eyes studied her glaring ones.

"My apologies, Miss Wilson, I won't take anymore of your time," he said smoothly, and turned around to leave, leaving Rose standing with her hand on the door handle, feeling very shocked.

"Wait," she said softly. She did not know why she called him back, she supposed it had something to do with the way he addressed her, but she called him back all the same.

He stopped and turned to face her, "Yes?" he asked politely.

"You have a minute," she offered as she watched him shrewdly, "Tell me what you must."

He smiled nervously and said, "Thank you. Rose – I just wanted to tell you that I wasn't the one who suggested this; it was purely Dumbledore's idea. I know it might not be his best plan ever, but it really is the best we have. This isn't about me or you; it is about fighting for the Order. 

Just think about the damage Voldemort can do with a team of werewolves on his side. We need to put our past aside, at least long enough to allow us to do this task together," he paused, and his gaze fixed on her more intently, there was something oddly solemn about his expression, "I'm not asking that you like me, or change your opinion of me, God knows I can't just demand such things. But please – just think about all the innocent lives at stake."

He ended with a polite nod and return to the kitchen. Rose watched him leave; she felt her anger soften, only to be replaced by confusion. She knew there was some truth in what he spoke, but she was having trouble processing that at the moment.

Pulling her cloak more tightly against herself, she stepped outside the door onto the first step of Grimmauld place, sealed the door and apparated to the Burrow.

Rose appeared abruptly just outside the front gate of The Burrow and hurried inside towards the house as fast as her quickly freezing feet would take her. From the front of the house she could see there was a light turned on inside – she did not know which room it would be as it was her first visit to the house.

She knocked on the door and only had to wait a few seconds before it was thrown open by an anxious looking Molly.

"Rose, dear, is that you?" she asked as she let her into the house.

"Yes, it's me."

"What's happened? Is something wrong – has Arthur been attacked again?" she asked worriedly.

"No, no, Molly," Rose quickly assured her as she removed her beanie and glasses, "It's nothing like that, everyone is fine."

Molly relaxed visible and invited Rose to sit down at the kitchen table, where she was preparing the days dinner.

"I'm sorry to arrive so unannounced, Molly," Rose said apologetically, "It's just that, well, I've been needing to talk to someone…"

Molly considered her perceptively and seemed to conclude that something was amiss.

"Something wrong, dear?" she asked kindly, "Well, share your troubles; I'll do my best to help."

It was all the invitation Rose needed. She told Molly everything that had been bothering her – about the history she had with Remus, about how she did not understand her feelings to him, that she knew she did not hate him but she couldn't say she liked him either, about how stressful it was to live under the same roof, and finally about Dumbledore's latest request. For her part, Molly was an excellent listener.

"And I'm so confused now, Molly – I know this is important for the Order, but I just feel like he's asking much too much from me. How could I possibly pretend to be Lupin's girlfriend, after he hurt me like that? And to actually kiss him, in front of the other werewolves too! Who knows how many memories that might bring back, how much more fresh pain it will cause… And you have no idea how much it will hurt my _pride_ if he ends up gloating about it to his friends! And that's not to mention how _cheap_ it makes me feel, locking lips with someone who I'm not dating… I've already been unjustly labeled a loose women back home, I just can't stand the thought that it might happen here too!"

Rose ran her fingers through her hair anxiously. She was glad to have gotten everything off her chest, but there was still the issue of dealing with it.

Molly was looking sympathetic as she hurriedly prepared Rose a cup of tea to which she added some magical calming ingredients.

"My… this is a complicated situation, isn't it?" she said worriedly, "How does Remus feel about the assignment?"

"Whatever he's feeling, he's doing a good job of hiding it," she muttered, "Sirius reckons he isn't happy about it, but Lupin just said that it's the best plan we have and that I should consider it seriously without letting our past confuse things, and think about all the lives that will be at stake if I don't accept the offer," she admitted, "I think he was trying to appeal to my sense of doing right… trying to make me feel guilty. What do you think, Molly?"

Molly sighed.

"Rose, I know they are asking a lot of you, and I can understand why it would feel wrong kissing someone you aren't actually dating. But, you know, it is only a kiss isn't it? He isn't asking you to do any more than that, and it has the potential to save many lives. It would be worth it, won't it? And you won't need to publicize what you are doing to everyone either. I mean, some people from the Order might know, but you can tell them simply that you are masquerading as his girlfriend, you don't need to mention that you need to kiss so they believe it is authentic. I know I certainly won't think any less of you."

Rose considered this silently for a moment. It was more or less in line with what she had thought herself, but to hear it confirmed by someone else (someone _other_ than Sirius) made her feel much better about it.

"Thank you Molly," she said, smiling weakly, "You're right about that point, I thought so too, I guess I just needed someone else to confirm it for me. But then, there is still the issue with Lupin…"

"Remus is a good man," Molly noted as she handed Rose her cup of tea, "A very decent, likable person, I've rarely met anyone like him."

Rose allowed herself to look politely incredulous as she accepted the cup of tea (which actually turned out to be very soothing).

Molly smiled at her reaction and said, "I know, Rose, that you're allowing your prejudices to get in the way, but I very much doubt that Remus would allow this to be a cause of pain for you. I'm sure he will do whatever he can to make the experience easier and to respect your decision. He won't, for example, gloat to his friends that he has free license to kiss you, which is something I can't say for many men. And I very much doubt that he will be smug that you are, in a sense, returning to him, or use it against you in any form."

Rose sighed, "I suppose, if he is anything like what I remember him to be, what you are saying is true… but, I mean, there is still the issue of whether or not I will be emotionally capable of dealing with the situation… I mean, I know on the outside I appear very emotionally stable, very cool, but it's all a façade…" she admitted hopelessly, "I'm not as strong as I try to make out, it's just that over the years I've learned how to keep it locked up inside and stop is from showing too much on the surface."

Molly squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, "Maybe what you need to do, is look at things from a different perspective."

"How so?" asked Rose, her brow creasing slightly as she tried to think how she could change the perspective.

"Well, to me it sounds like there are many things you need to come to terms with, specifically, the fact that Remus left you heart-broken."

"Yes," said Rose slowly, "I suppose that's true."

"What better way is there to achieve that than by spending time with him? Getting to know him again a little better, overcoming your own prejudice towards him? Perhaps this could be your chance to truly put the past behind you, so that you can emerge as a new, more confident person, like the old you that you described to me earlier."

Rose considered the possibility for a moment, "On the other hand, spending time with him might just remind me of what I lost, and cause me to fall back into the depression that I can't say I ever truly recovered from."

Molly chuckled softly, "Have you always been such a pessimist, dear? Well, I don't know what else to say, really, it is your choice, in the end. I don't mean to pressure you, but do keep in mind how important this will be for the Order."

Rose nodded as she took another sip of tea. There was a moment's silence, after which Rose said,

"I know Molly, trust me. If it weren't so important I wouldn't even be here discussing it with you, I would have said no and that would have been my final word."

Before Molly could reply the lock clicked on the front door and it swung open, revealing a very tired but otherwise healthy looking Arthur.

Not realizing Rose was there, he proceeded to remove his cloak and hang it besides the door.

"Good evening Mollywobbles –"

He was cut off by a loud giggle from Rose, and he jumped when he realized she was there. Molly turned distinctly pink, but Rose thought it would be kinder to pretend that she had not noticed the nickname.

"Oh, hello, Rose," he said cheerfully, "I didn't notice you there – I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

"Oh, no," said Rose, standing up as she did so, "Molly and I were just having a chat, but there isn't much left to be said, really."

"Won't you stay for dinner, dear?" asked Molly, her cheeks slowly returning to their natural colour.

"Thank you, Molly, but I don't want to intrude," she refused politely, "And I wouldn't want Sirius to worry, I didn't specify when I'd be back."

"Okay, if you're sure, dear, I'll see you at the next meeting."

"Thank you again, and good bye," said Rose, as she stepped out in to the yard, still confused, but considerable less than she had been an hour earlier.


	13. Just A Little Kiss

Rose appeared on the foot step of Grimmauld place, and hurried inside. She took off her cloak and beanie, banished them to her bedroom and, with her glasses still on made her way to the kitchen, where she could hear voices.

"Welcome back," said Sirius as she entered the room, while Remus smiled uncertainly in her direction. He seemed curious, though apprehensive.

"Thanks," said Rose to Sirius, completely ignoring Remus, and she sat down at the table across from them both.

Remus, however, was not one to be deterred by her hostile behavior.

"Are you hungry?" he asked conversationally.

Rose ignored him.

"We left you some food… we put a heating charm on it so it's as good as it would have been an hour ago."

Rose continued to ignore him while Sirius watched amusedly from the side line. On the outside, her face was set to an unreadable expression, though it was taking a lot of work for her to prevent herself looking exasperated. She wondered at the fact that he did not seem to get the message, and she hated the way he was so polite to her when she herself was no more than openly hostile. He was indirectly _forcing_ her to be polite. But she was not going to give in; she was still angry at him.

"I made steak with mashed potato, gravy and steamed corn and peas," he continued, as though Rose had asked him what was for dinner with interest.

Rose's mouth twitched before she could stop it. She finally turned to face him.

"You don't play fair, Lupin," she said, finally betraying a weak, mostly repressed smile and taking off her sunglasses. No doubt he had remembered that Rose loved that meal and was using it to his advantage.

Remus smiled broadly, "I'll take that as a _yes thanks_."

He summoned a plate from the counter and it landed softly in front of Rose, who started eating immediately. She had not noticed how hungry she had been until the food was placed before her.

"Thanks," she said grudgingly after a few mouthfuls.

"So," said Sirius, who was now smirking, "What did you and Molly talk about?"

Rose shrugged, "Stuff."

"Stuff?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeh, you know, stuff – matter, subjects, topics. Stuff."

"Ohhhh," replied Sirius exaggeratedly, "You mean _stuff_. Why didn't you say so from the start?"

Rose simply rolled her eyes and continued eating.

"So what you are really saying is that you talked about this offer and Remus and _stuff_, right?" he asked.

Rose glared at him and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Sirius," he said, shaking his head, "You have _no_ tact."

"Wow!" exclaimed Sirius, looking impressed.

"What?" he replied, raising his eyebrows.

"That's exactly what Rose said to me early," he said indifferently, "Interesting coincidence, isn't it?"

"Hardly," interjected Rose, "It's more like a natural response to most things you say, Sirius."

"Whatever!" cried Sirius, "Anyway, who cares about that. Did Molly convince you to take the offer?"

"She said it was my decision, Sirius," Rose stressed, "Not anyone else's, she was not there to convince me to do anything."

"So have you decided then?"

­

Rose did not reply, instead she determinedly looked away from Remus and focused on her food instead. She could feel his eyes on her, and suddenly she felt distinctly nervous. The truth was she was so close to deciding, so very close, but there was just one issue that was really holding her back…

"Rose," said Remus softly.

Her head sprang up at the sound of his voice and her eyes locked on his. He was watching her sympathetically.

"I – I want you to know," he started sincerely, "That if you do choose to do this, I won't think any less of you, nor will Sirius or Albus. We won't ever think you are a loose woman, we know better. Pretending to be my girlfriend for the better of the Order won't change that. And if you want, we can keep the details of the task secret from the rest of the Order members."

Rose felt her anxiety almost melt away completely – they were the words she had needed to hear most, especially from Remus, since he was the one she would be working with. She knew he was being sincere and even though she hated to admit it, his reassurance meant a great deal to her.

She did not reply, but merely nodded. There was a moments tense silence, and then –

"Oh, alright!" cried Rose, putting down her fork and making both Sirius and Remus jump in their seats, "I'll do it!"

"You will?" asked Sirius, his eyes wide with excitement.

"I must be insane – and if I'm not now, I most certainly will be when this whole girlfriend thing is over – but yes, I will do it," she responded.

"Are you sure, Rose?" asked Remus seriously; he looked very relieved, "You've thought this through, you're one hundred percent sure?"

She nodded, "I'm sure."

Remus beamed, "Excellent, I'll go send word to Dumbledore."

He hurried off upstairs leaving Rose and Sirius alone.

"Knew you'd come round," he bragged, a large grin plastered on his face.

"Whatever," she laughed, however it was largely forced; she was feeling incredibly anxious. Even now, she was not sure that she had made the right decision. But there was no backing out anymore.

There was a moments silence as Rose continued to eat her dinner. A few minutes later, Remus returned, looking a little apprehensive.

"What did Dumbledore say?" Rose asked immediately.

"He, er, he wants us to start tomorrow," Remus said uneasily as he sat down.

"Tomorrow?" asked Rose, looking dumbstruck, "That's much sooner than I expected."

­

"The sooner, the better, according to him. And I must say I agree. We leave in the morning. Is that okay with you?"

Rose shrugged, "I guess so."

Sirius looked gleeful; Rose was unsure why and gave him a quizzical look.

"So, when do you two start practicing?" he asked.

Remus looked distinctly uncomfortable, though Rose had no idea what Sirius was talking about.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?" she asked him.

"Kissing, of course!"

Rose starred back at him in shock.

"What? Don't tell me you didn't realize that you can't exactly have your first kiss in front of the werewolves, I mean, you'd think they would notice that it looks like the two of you have never kissed before?" he asked incredulously.

But the look on Rose's face seemed to imply just that. Rose opened her mouth, but upon realizing she could not make a sound, she closed it again. She looked at Remus. He looked very apprehensive, but ready.

­

"Are we going to do this now?" she asked nervously, glad that her voice seemed to be working again.

"If you are ready," replied Remus.

Rose was silent for a moment. She would have to do it eventual, she knew that, but now that she had agreed to do the task, kissing him seemed about fifty times worse. Would it be just like any other kiss? Would she be able to brush it off casually? Or would it bring back such strong memories that she will fall back in to her old depression?

"Rose?" spoke Remus gently.

Rose sighed, and turned to Sirius.

"Get out, please."

"Huh?" he replied, looking confused.

Rose smiled, "What, did you think we would practice in front of you? Sorry, but I'd like some privacy…"

Sirius looked scandalized.

"But it's just a kiss!" he protested, "You're going to be doing it in front of how many werewolves, why can't I watch? It'll be funny, watching you two –"

­

"Sirius," Remus said firmly, "Please, some privacy?"

Sirius stood up, looking exasperated.

"Fine! I'll be upstairs," he said.

He stood up, his face fixed in a smirk, and left Rose and Remus alone in an awkward silence. Rose could feel her heart beating frantically. She wondered whether Remus could hear it too.

She sighed loudly and stood up. Let's just get this over and done with, she thought to herself.

She could Remus watching her as she walked around the table and come to a stop next to him. The fact that he was fidgeting with his hands made her feel slightly calmer. She felt awkward standing up, so she sat down on the table next to him.

"So," Remus said slowly, "I guess we should get started?"

Rose nodded. At that moment, she realized her hands were shaking, so she slid them behind her back in an attempt to hide them from him.

Remus stood up and moved closer to her. Rose felt her breath get caught in her throat as he approached, and she suddenly realized how very tall he was. He seemed nervous, but he smiled reassuringly at her.

She was too scared at that moment to be annoyed with him. She even forgot that she was angry at him. She was just too overcome by her fear and her helplessness at that moment, and she hated it. She hated being like this, being vulnerable. She had trained herself to be strong, ­

and yet all it had taken for that barrier she built to break down was for her ex-boyfriend to stand in front of her with a promise of a kiss to come.

You can do this, she told herself, be strong, you can do it.

He was standing right in front of her…

Just stay calm, stay calm, it's just a kiss, you've done it countless times before, she told herself, willing herself to believe.

He leaned forward resting his hands on the table either side of her. Her knees where touching his hips. Unfortunately for her, her legs were trembling now as well, and Remus noticed.

She looked up into his eyes while he looked down in to hers. She could see that he looked concerned.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked.

The voice in her head screamed no, but her body did not listen, and she nodded.

Looking a little uncertain with himself, Remus leaned forward, and a moment later, his face was only inches away from hers. She held her breath, and then, his lips touched hers. He kissed her.

And she froze.

Remus pulled his head back immediately. He looked very distressed.

"Rose?" he said.

She did not reply, nor did she look at him. Instead she focused on his shirt as her thoughts were overwhelmed by the feeling of his lips against hers. It was so familiar. _Too_ familiar. She felt a lump forming at the back of her throat. What on earth was she thinking when she agreed to do this?

"I can't do this, Lupin," she whispered in a trembling voice. She can't kiss _him_, not him, Remus, not when he had meant the world to her, not when he left her, not when he broke her heart…

She heard him sigh.

"Rose, remember, this isn't about you, or me. You are doing this for all the lives it is going to save," he said gently, "I can't do this if you aren't cooperating, I can't force myself on to you. It's wrong."

She did not reply. Then, a moment later, she felt his hand rest under her chin and tenderly push her head up. She found his gaze, and she was shocked by its intensity; there was a lot of raw emotion in there too. She wondered whether he felt somewhat shaken by this as well and whether he was hiding it for her sake.

He is so strong, she thought to herself in awe. That realization helped her stabilize herself. She saw no reason why he should be so collected while she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

She reached out her hands and placed her hands on his chest. He looked surprised, but before he could say anything, she pulled him forward towards her and let her lips meet his.

­

And she kissed him.

This time it was his turn to freeze, though only for a second. He quickly recovered from the surprise and kissed her back gently. It was awkward at first, but it quickly developed into a typical Lupin kiss – even after fourteen years, she could still recognize it. She felt the tears spring to her eyes as she tried to blank out the memories that surfaced. She hastily blinked back her tears as he pulled his face away from her.

He remained leaning over her for a moment as he regained his breathe. He seemed extremely uneasy, and there was a certain strain to his voice when he next spoke.

"Well, I don't think we will be needing any more practice," he muttered.

Before Rose could agree, a sound at the other end of the room made both her and Remus jump. Rose looked over at the door and felt her face turn red as she saw the stunned faces of a grinning Faylinn and troubled Tonks.

Remus leapt away from her instantly. He was blushing furiously. Rose knew she could hardly look any better.

"It's, er, it's not what you're thinking," he stuttered.

"Definitely not," Rose added. She was glad to hear that her voice was normal and even.

"Oh, really?" asked Faylinn, her eyes twinkling, "What is it then? I don't see any poisoned apples anywhere…"

­

Rose had no idea what she was talking about, but Remus apparently did, because his blush (remarkably) deepened.

"It's nothing like that," he said hastily, his eyes flickered towards Rose, "Can I tell them?"

She nodded, it was too late now; they had already seen too much.

He quickly explained why they had been kissing. Rose did not pay much attention, she was busy taking deep breathes, allowing her overworked heart to calm down. The kiss had affected her in exactly the way she had feared it would.

" – and Rose and I would appreciate it if you both did not tell anyone about the details of mission, I'm sure you understand, it would make Rose the subject of much skepticism from other Order members," finished Remus.

Faylinn nodded vigorously, her eyes wide in amazement, while Tonks did not move at all, a glazed look seemed to have appeared over her eyes.

"Tonks?" said Remus gently.

"What?" she said dully, "Oh yeh, I won't tell anyone. My lips are sealed."

Rose gave them both a grateful, strained smile, "Thank you. It means a lot to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bed. Good night."

­

Rose hurried out of the room, completely ignoring Faylinn's protests that it was only seven thirty and rushed up stairs to her bedroom. She closed the door firmly behind her and slipped, fully clothed, in to bed, hastily wiping away her tears.


	14. Anabella Elizabeth Jean

**Please note I posted two chapters in a row, so if you haven't read chapter 13 yet, well it's probably a good idea to read that before this. ;)**

* * *

Rose awoke the next morning looking like a mess. She supposed it was a miracle she had managed to sleep at all.

After quickly using the bathroom, setting her appearance right and getting dressed, Rose went down to the kitchen to face her (as she liked to put it) doom. Remus was already there, drinking tea while reading the Daily Prophet. Rose forced herself to hold back a wince when she saw him. Sirius was there too, sitting silently, apparently deep in thought.

"Good morning," mumbled Rose as she sat down next to the men.

Remus put down his paper when he realized she was there and smiled at her.

"Good morning," he replied. There seemed to be some degree of extra politeness in his tone. Rose supposed that like her, he had not forgotten the previous night.

Sirius mumbled a reply that was more or less engulfed by a yawn.

"So, when are we leaving?" Rose asked tentatively.

"Midday, in a few hours, if that's okay with you?" replied Remus.

Rose nodded.

"And where are we going, exactly. I mean, where do these werewolves hang out?"

"There are a number of places across the country," he replied as he toyed with his tea, "The closest in a remote semi-rural area near the outskirts of London. There's a large abandoned orphanage. Some thirty werewolves live there. That's where we'll be going."

Rose grimaced; it did not sound very pretty.

"It's a muggle village?"

"Yes, but the building and the land around it have a number of muggle repelling charms on it, so we don't need to worry about them."

"Right," she said as she tried to hide her lack of enthusiasm. An abandoned orphanage filled with anti-social werewolves did not sound all that appealing.

"Well," continued Remus, "Albus drafted our official cover story. I meet you a few weeks ago through a friend, we started dating, and when you found out I was a werewolf you were interested in seeing how life was, so I'm taking you with me to the orphanage. You'll be going by your Anabelle Elizabeth Jean cover."

"What as that again?" said Sirius, smirking, "Twenty seven year old Australian tourist, likes to wear daggy clothes?"

"With plain brown hair and eyes and a love for muggle glasses," finished Rose, her nose wrinkled in displeasure.

"Actually, Albus seems to think that short, curly black hair is more your thing…" said Remus, smiling amusedly.

"What?" asked a confused Rose.

Remus sighed a pulled out a bag from underneath his chair. He emptied its contents on to the table.

"Albus put this little set together for you, you know, for disguise… this" – he held up a small box with a picture of a women in the front – "is magical hair lotion. It makes your hair looks just like this woman's, that is, short, curly and jet black. It even makes your eyebrows black and changes the shape slightly."

"Er, okay," said Rose, looking very taken-aback. She warily imagined herself with thick black eyebrows. "What's all that, then?" she asked, eyeing the other containers suspiciously.

Remus picked up a small bottle, "This one here will give you a tan and pinkish cheeks, and this potion here make you a little taller – Severus cooked it up for you just last night. Oh, and these are muggle contacts – darkish brown. Albus charmed them so they don't look fake, and so you can wear them for as long as you want without them harming your eyes at all – you know how harmful muggle products can be."

Sirius let out a long whistled, "That's a lot of stuff, isn't it?"

Rose nodded her head vigorously, her hands sub-consciously reaching for her long, wavy light brown hair and fingering it protectively, "What if I get stuck with horrible, thick black eyebrows, then?"

"Don't worry – Albus told me to tell you that he assures you that all products have passed the ministry's safety standards and have a completely perfect record so far," Remus assured her.

Rose reached out for one of the packages uncertainly. She had a look at the skin lotion one and read the label:

_Miss Cuddleton ensures that this product will give beautiful, clear sun-kissed skin…_

The hair lotion seemed to be covered with the same shameless promises:

_Enjoy healthy, sleek, lustrous hair in seconds! _

Rose _already_ had healthy, sleek, lustrous hair… she reached out for the contacts, but another box caught her eye. It was out of her reach, but she could see a plump women modeling on the front.

"Lupin, what's that?" she asked slowly, her eyes narrowed at the box.

"Er, this?" he said nervously, holding up the small box. Sirius was eyeing it curiously too.

She looked at him sharply – what was he hiding?

"Yes, that," she said pointedly, "What's that's for? You didn't mention it."

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, obviously stalling for time, "Well, I guess, you could say, that this box will help a little to disguise your figure…"

"Oh," she said, raising an eyebrow, "I thought that's why we had the growth potion?"

Remus swallowed slowly, "Yes well, this potion has a slightly different effect, you see."

"Get to the point, Remus!" cried Sirius impatiently.

Remus threw him a chastised look.

"_Fine_. Rose, this potion will make you put on seven kilos," he said bluntly.

"_What_?" she cried, as Sirius cracked up laughing. Even Remus betrayed a slight smile.

"Shut _up_, Sirius," she pouted, crossing her arms dangerously across her chest, "Remus John Lupin, do you _honestly_ think I'm going to take a potion to make me fat, just to disguise myself?"

"Er, yes?" he said hopefully.

"No!"

"Oh, you veela have such _vanity_ issues!" tutted Sirius, though he was still chuckling.

"I'm _not_ vain, Sirius!" she replied emphatically, "What kind of women would risk putting on seven whole kilos? _Seven!_"

"Rose, please, be reasonable," Remus said calmly, "The potion is reversibly, don't worry. And anyway, you're tall and thin, seven kilos won't make you that fat – just a little chubby, that's all."

"That's all?" she repeated, as though it was the most insane thing she had ever heard, "Why do I need to look chubby anyway, why can't I just wear a few layers of clothes? That will hide my figure and make me look chubby!"

Remus shook his head, "No, it's not enough; it won't change your face. This potion specializes on the face, it will help disguise you by making your cheeks a little chubbier and changing the shape of your lips slightly. Come on, Rose, you don't want to be recognized by a potential death eater, do you?"

Rose sighed, a long deep, rather exaggerated sigh. She bit her lip for a moment, and then –

"Oh, Lupin, you talk me in to the most ridiculous things! Fine, I'll do it."

Remus smiled, and she almost glared at him for having the audacity to smile at her after putting her through such hardships. First, she had to kiss him, now he's asking her to put on seven whole kilograms! _Men_! Even after they've dumped you, they still expect too much.

Perhaps Remus sensed that he had worked himself into a sticky situation, or maybe he was just eager to get started – either way, he next recommended that Rose quickly have her breakfast, so she could then start working on her appearance and they could leave as soon as possible.

Rose ate her breakfast slowly. She felt like a little child at the end of a nice long summer holiday, dreading the start of school – except that she was not a little child, she was a mature woman who had put herself knowingly and willingly in to this situation.

When she finally finished eating, she magically cleaned her plate and cup, and banished them into the cupboard by the sink. Both Sirius and Remus looked up at her as she eyed the products in front of her hopelessly.

"Er, let's start with the tanning product first, shall we?" suggested Sirius, "It's probably the easiest."

Rose gave him a strained smile – although he was little immature at time, he could be very sensitive when he wanted to be.

"Good idea," she mumbled.

Sirius reached for the skin product and read the label.

"It's not so bad," he said encouragingly, "You just need to drink it – it's even chocolate flavored! It will take about five minutes for the product to kick in, then for about half an hour, your skin gradually darkens."

He opened the bottle and smelled it, "Smells alright. So, ready?" he asked, as he handed the bottle over to Rose.

She conjured a small cup and poured the contents into it. It looked like extremely thick hot chocolate.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she muttered and raised the cup to her lips, draining it all in one gulp.

She licked her lips contemplatively, "Hmm, well that didn't taste too bad…"

"Do you want to put the contacts in, while we wait?" asked Remus, indicating to the contacts on the table.

"Might as well," she said, shrugging.

It took her a while to put the contacts in – she just did not see how muggles could actually raise something to their eyes and stick it in! It had taken a well placed painlessness charm from Remus to allow her to raise them to her eyes without flinching. The final product however, was very pleasing.

Rose studied her eyes in the mirror. They were dark brown, not as nice as her own light brown-green eyes, but charming all the same. She noticed too that her skin was slowing darkening.

Next she applied the hair lotion – it has to be left in for about ten minutes, but when Rose washed it out of her hair and dried it magically, she had to say she was very pleased with the jet black elaborate curls that reach just under her chin. It didn't even look fake, like dyed black hair usually did. It looked as natural as can be. Her eyebrows had turned out acceptable too. She even thought she might keep the hair once she was able to drop her disguise.

By the time she had also taken the growth potion (which added an extra five centimeters to her height), her skin colour had stabilized – she now had a soft golden glow to her skin. It was a stark contrast to her normal creamy white veela complexion, but Rose enjoyed the look at the same.

"Right," said Sirius, his eyes glistening mischievously, "Now for the fat potion."

"Charming Sirius," Rose said, rolling her eyes, "Very charming."

Then, much like a woman who wanted nothing more than to get everything over and done with, she reached for the 'fat potion' and drank it all in one go. It tasted rather horrible, and she immediately conjured a cup of orange juice to remove the taste.

"How long did it say this would take, Lupin?" she asked, looking at Remus, who was holding the box.

"About a minute or two," he replied, after skimming over the instructions.

Rose waited quietly for a moment, her head in her hands, her eyes clenched shut as she waited for something – anything to happen. And then –

"Wow," exclaimed Sirius softly.

"Indeed," agreed Remus, sounding very impressed.

"What?" asked Rose hurriedly, opening her eyes.

"Er, here, have a look," Remus said, offering her the mirror.

She took it nervously, and looked at her reflection.

"Oh, no…" she moaned, "I'm – I'm _ugly_!"

Her cheeks were chubbier; she even seemed to have a dimple! A little fat had been deposited around her nose, changing its shape a little, and her lips seemed a little fuller. She put the mirror down and had a look at her hands, which were significantly plumper than they had been a moment ago. She had a look at her body, and it was then that she realized that her robe were slightly tighter. It had not been a huge change, because, as Remus pointed out earlier, she was already thin and had just grown taller, so the fat was spread out a lot, but she certainly could not be called skinny anymore.

"Don't be silly, Rose," said Remus quickly, "You aren't ugly at all."

"You're just saying that so I don't hex you into next year," she said dejectedly.

"Nah, really, Rose," added Sirius, "You're not as pretty as you used to be, but I'd say now you'd classify as more of a cute-pretty, instead of gorgeous-pretty, you know?"

"Whatever… do I still look like me, I mean, do you recognize me?"

"Well, I do…" said Remus as he studied her face, "You look very different though, I doubt anyone who hasn't known the adult you would recognize you based on the memory of what you used to be."

"Yeh, I agree," said Sirius, "And anyway, Rose, it's better this way, isn't it? You're still pretty, but not so pretty that the guy werewolves will hassle you too much."

Rose brightened up at that observation, "You knew, you're right Sirius. I didn't think of it that way."

"So, are you ready to leave, then? Have you packed your bag?" Remus asked her.

Rose nodded and summed her hand bag from upstairs.

"Er, Rose, I didn't mean your hand bag –" started Remus, looking a little confused.

Rose actually managed a laugh, "No, Lupin, I've charmed my wallet to fit my suitcase, I've got everything I need in here."

"Great, let's get going then," he replied, standing up and walking out to the hallway. Rose and Sirius followed him.

Remus and Rose both put on their cloaks – Rose wore her woolen beanie as well (though she had charmed it white with red strips so no one would recognize it) – while Sirius watched them sadly. Rose forgot about her own sorrows at that moment and gave him a big hug.

"I'm sorry to be leaving you all alone Sirius," she said, "But, you know, you _did_ talk me into this. I expect we will see you soon. Er, wait a minute."

She let go of Sirius and turned to Remus, "How long am I going to be doing this for?"

"We aren't sure yet, a few weeks at least for now, but we should be able to visit here once or twice a week in the mean time."

Sirius patted them both on the shoulders, "You two behave now, I don't want to hear about any mischief you might be getting in to. Remember you're only pretending to be girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Oh, shut up Sirius," Rose said, punching him playfully, but glancing nervously at Remus all the same.

"Well, shall we?" he said, as he opened the front door.

With one last good bye to Sirius, Rose followed Remus out on to the door step, to the start of what she knew was to be a few very long, very hard weeks.

* * *

**A/N - Just a fun chapter I felt like throwing in... For some reason there are these gaps in the text that keep coming up and I can't get rid of them, it makes the text look double spaced but I'm not doing it on purpose.**


	15. The Werewolves

**Chapter 14**

Crack!

Rose and Remus appeared out of thin air right in front of large and rusted gates and a high, worn out stone wall which Rose assumed must be the abandoned orphanage. She looked around; they were surrounded by scattered trees and shrubs, and thick green grass. She could see a small village in the distance, set up a little higher than the orphanage on a hill.

She looked at Remus inquisitively.

"So, is this it, Lupin?" she asked.

"Yes, it is _Anabelle_, dear," he replied, smiling heartily.

Rose felt her lip twitch slightly as she bit back a smile. This was going to take a lot of getting used to.

"And you might want to start call me Remus again," he added contentedly, as his eyes took in the scene around them.

"Oh, very cunning, _Remus_," she said, raising an eyebrow, "I suppose you've been dying to tell me that, haven't you?"

He shrugged, but his defiant smile gave much away.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," said Rose, though in truth she was feeling a rather nervous.

Remus took her hand in his; obviously trying to get in to his role of werewolf boyfriend, though Rose could not help but wonder whether he was doing because he suspected she was nervous. If that were the case, it certainly was not doing anything to help her nerves.

He reached forward and pushed open the gate, and Rose was able to get her first view of the orphanage. Her first thought was that it was that a dump. There was a large, multi-story building, surrounded on all sides by the high stone wall. The building itself was made of the same stone, however, it was very old and very uninviting. A number of the windows were smashed, the thick, moldy wooden doors were covered in what Rose knew were claw marks. There were similar marks on all the trees, as far as Rose could see, and in many places, the grass, which was not as lush as its outside equivalent, had been dug up.

She looked uncertainly at Remus, who was observing the scene grimly. In all her worry about being his fake girlfriend, she had completely forgotten how horrible it must be for him to be here, with someone who was not a werewolf. He had always been a little sensitive about the werewolf side of him, and never spoke of it when he could avoid it, but now they were surrounded by it.

"Remmie!"

The unexpected, high-pitched cry rang through the silent air, causing Rose to jump. Then, before she could even comprehend what had happened, something – or rather someone – had pushed her out of the way and was now excitedly hugging Remus.

"Oh, Remmie, you're back! I've missed you so much, you know, it gets so boring without you sometimes!"

Rose started indignantly at the young woman who had just pushed her out of the way. _Remmie_? And why on earth was she hugging him so tightly?

"It's good to see you too, Artemis," he said kindly, though he looked slightly bemused.

Rose, noticing with a pang of annoyance that the woman – who just giggled stupidly – was still clinging on to Remus, decided that it was time to intervene.

Clearing her throat pointedly, she stepped forward, grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him towards her, slipped an arm around his waist and said, in a falsely sweet voice,

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend, Remus, _dear_?"

The woman – who Rose now noticed could not be older than twenty five years and had long black hair, brown eyes and was wearing rather worn out and patched muggle clothes of the more rebellious variety – looked at Rose with a surprised expression, her eye brows both raise, and Remus looked even more bemused that before. However, he recovered quickly.

"Ah, of course, where are my manners," he said courteously, "Artemis, this is Anabelle Elizabeth Jean, my girlfriend. Anabelle, this is Artemis Reeve."

Artemis looked Rose up and down, making Rose feel extremely conscious of her new chubbier appearance – before extending a hand. Rose shook it gracefully.

"Well," she said, with a tone that Rose could only identify as resentment, "You must be really something, then, to have won over everyone's favorite bachelor."

Rose did not know what to say to this, so she just shrugged in a non-committed fashion.

"You look really well," she continued suspiciously, "Considering that the moon was only about a week ago. How come we've never seen you around here before, then? Or are you one of them traitors who likes to mingle with the normal ones, eh?"

"Uh," said Rose blankly, quickly registering the fact that this woman was certainly not very fond of non-werewolves.

"She isn't a werewolf, Artemis," Remus said quickly.

Artemis looked positively outraged.

"Not another one of them!" she cried angrily, as though Rose weren't standing right in front of her, "We only just got rid of Lachlan's witch last week, what'd you have to go and bring in another one for? I didn't expect that from you, Remus!"

"Look, she not that bad, Artemis, really, just give her a chance," Remus responded defensively, while Rose simply glared at the woman.

"Fine," she replied coldly, then turned to Rose and said, "Just don't go acting all high and mighty on us like the last one did, okay? I've got your number; the likes of you don't last around here too long."

Remus – ever the peace keeper – intervened before Rose could reply.

"Why don't we go inside, so I can introduce Anabelle, then? Come along, Artemis, lead the way."

"Okay, Remmie, whatever you say," she said, reverting back to her original tone of voice and winked exaggeratedly at him. She spun around on the spot and walked quickly into the orphanage.

"You're playing the role of defensive girlfriend awfully well," Remus whispered to her, with a rather knowing smile.

"I'm a very good actor, Lupin," she whispered back haughtily, though she suspected that Remus knew there had been no acting involved at all. She slipped her hand away from his waist, feeling suddenly embarrassed, but he captured her hand in his before she could let it drop to her side.

They followed Artemis up the stone steps and through the wooden doors. Rose could not help but gasp.

They stood in a large reception room – the walls were stone, just like the outside, and equally battered. The wooden floor boards were covered with wild scratch marks. Personal possessions – very battered ones – littered the floor. It was as cold in doors as it was outside. Rose could not imagine how anyone could actually live in here.

Artemis turned around and smirked at Rose, before turning to Remus and saying smugly,

"I give her a week, tops."

She then turned away abruptly and hurried through a large door way.

"Guess what!" they heard her cry excitedly, "Remmie is back!"

Her announcement was followed by some cheers, as well as a few non-committal grunts.

Rose raised her eyebrows at Remus, "You seem popular."

"I suppose, though I always suspected it was because I'm the only one who really knows how to do magic properly, which means I get stuck doing a lot the cleaning and repairs."

Rose tried to smile, but managed only a grimace, "Are they going to hate me?" she asked uncertainly.

"No," he replied firmly, squeezing her hand reassuringly, "They aren't all like Artemis.  
You just need to be sure that you act pro-werewolf. Come on, let's go in."

Remus pulled the nervous Rose forward and they entered the room together.

It was a very large, carpeted room, filled with old, battered furniture, each one of which seemed to be occupied by a person. There were people of all age groups – the middle aged, the young adults, a teenager or two, and – Rose felt a little saddened by realizing it – even a young boy who looked no older than eleven. Rose noticed that they all shared the same worn-out, tired appearance that she typically associated with Remus.

Every eye turned to them as they entered the room. A few people jumped up happily to greet Remus, while others simply starred at Rose curiously.

"Nice to see you back, Remus," said a middle-aged, kind faced woman with light brown hair as she shook his hand.

"Thank you Charlotte, it is good to see you again too," he replied politely.

Rose stood back a little while the others greeted Remus, smiling politely at anyone who looked at her. A few people smiled back, though many others either gave her a look that clearly said they were reserving judgment, or otherwise glared at her. She noticed, however, that no one was staring at her in a perverted way – and it was certainly a welcome change.

"Yes, of course, Finley, I'll have a look at it once we've settled down," she heard Remus assure a young man. He then turned to her and pulled her close to him.

"Allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Anabelle Elizabeth Jean," he said enthusiastically, pulling her closer to his side as he spoke and kissing her quickly on the cheek. Rose shivered imperceptibly in response, "And before anyone asks, no, she isn't a werewolf."

Rose noticed that some people looked slightly disappointed at this, others indifferent, and yet some looked very displeased.

"Erm, hello," she said, smiling what would usually have been her most charming smile with her old appearance – she just hoped it held for this appearance too.

"Oh, God," she heard Artemis mutter, "She's a foreigner too!"

"This is Charlotte, that's Finley there, here's Janet, Clive, Davina, Lachlan, Julian…"

Rose shook hands with some, others simply inclined their heads. Many simply ignored her and turned back to what they had been doing before she and Remus arrived (including an embarrassing couple who were locked at the lips in a corner – Rose sincerely hoped that they were not setting some sort of standard that she and Remus would be expected to follow).

"Come along, Anabelle, come sit with us."

The woman called Charlotte took her by the arm and led her to a collection of sofas and arm chairs near the fire place where, unfortunately, a number of those who had glared at her were seated there too.

Rose attempted to take a seat next to Charlotte, but before she could, Artemis took that seat, and when she looked around, she found that every seat around the fire had been taken. Even Remus had sat down, when usually he would have offered his seat to a guest. Rose supposed that he was only trying to fit in with the other werewolves though, and was therefore pretending to have a lack of manners.

"Er," she said, looking uncertainly at Remus.

He considered her for a moment and then reach forward, grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him so abruptly that she landed on his lap. He instantly put his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him. It took much control for her to convert her gasp into a series of stupid giggles. Why did werewolves have to be so rough, she wondered in silent frustration.

"You can sit with me," he said amusedly.

"Thanks, Remus, dear," she said, in a voice that suggested she was the happiest woman in the world, though really she was extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. Although the sore look on Artemis' face did make it a little more bearable. Almost.

"You have an interesting accent, Anabelle," commented Charlotte. Rose was pleased to see that she, at least, seemed not to mind having her there, "Where are you from?"

Before Rose could reply, a handsome man in his early thirties, who Rose recalled was called Lachlan, interjected.

"No – don't say!" he said enthusiastically, with a slight Scottish accent, "Let's guess!"

Another young man – Clive, in his late twenties – sat forward, keen on the challenge.

"I'd say New Zealand?"

"No, but close," Rose said politely.

"Australian!" cried Lachlan eagerly, "Right?"

"Yeh, right," she said, smiling (his excitement was contagious).

Lachlan cheered while Artemis rolled her eyes at him.

"So what brings you here, then?" asked Charlotte.

"Do you mean London, or this place here?" asked Rose.

"Both."

"Well, I'm in the UK for a holiday, and I meet Remus here through a friend, we hit it off right away and started dating, and, well, he told me about his place and how he likes to spend time here, and he asked me if I would come with him," Rose said casually, "So, I thought, why not, it would be interesting."

"That's what she says," said Remus, smiling cherishingly at her, "but really she just didn't want to be away from me."

Rose felt a nervous sensation at the look he was giving her; it was the same expression he used to have when he looked at her when they were younger.

Pretending to be amused, she patted him on the shoulder and said, "You tell yourself that, dear."

Lachlan laughed, "You're really taken by her, aren't you, Remus? Never thought I'd live to see you bring in a girl."

Remus chuckled softly, "There anyways a first for everything."

"I can't say _I_ was surprised, though," said a deep voice loudly.

Rose looked around to see who had spoken, and noticed it was one of the men from the small group who had glared at her earlier. A menacing expression was plastered on this aging face – Rose supposed he must have been at least in his late forties – and he was looking directly at her. The man and woman sitting either side of him smirked silently.

"And why is that, Amandus?" replied Remus calmly, though Rose knew it was a façade – she had felt him tense.

"Oh," he replied, sneering coldly, "It just figures that someone like you, Lupin, would fall for some ditzy, non-werewolf airhead. You don't even have the decency to pick out a tough one who can rough it with us in the tough times. She'd probably see us all dead and not even bat an eyelash, just like the rest of her prejudiced kind."

Ditzy? Thought Rose, with a shot of anger.

"Who are you calling ditzy?" she said, her tone even colder than his had been.

"Oh, look, it speaks," replied Amandus sarcastically.

"That's enough, Amandus," said Charlotte sharply, "The mere fact that she came her shows she isn't like the rest of her kind, why don't you just give her a chance like the rest of us are?"

"Because I've had it with these arrogant witches coming here and thinking they rule the place just because they went to Hogwarts, just because they can do funny things with a wand and live in the real world!" he bellowed.

He stood up angrily and marched out of the room, his two sneering sidekicks stood up to follow him.

"Now look what you've all done," scolded the woman, "It's going to take me ages to calm him down."

"It's not our fault, Jane," said Lachlan defensively, "Don't blame us for his issues."

Rose watched the two leave, feeling slightly heartened by Charlotte and Lachlan's defense, but it did not escape her notice that most of the people in the room had appeared rather approving of Amandus' words.


	16. Confrontations

Rose could not have been more relieved when the end of the day finally arrived and Remus suggested that it was time for sleep. She jumped at the opportunity immediately.

That's not to say that she had not enjoyed herself – Charlotte was exceptionally good to her, and Lachlan was great company; if his bright blue eyes weren't flashing as he cracked some joke, he would be listening good-naturedly to what others had to say, or otherwise flicking his long blond hair with his fingers in an amusing imitation of Artemis. Artemis herself turned out to be much nicer than Rose had initially thought; although she was still a little frosty to Rose, it was obvious from her interaction with the others that she was a decent person (despite what her torn black jeans might suggest). Rose had even managed to win the approval of few of the younger werewolves who were positively delighted with the meal she had helped cooked. She admired the way they were all so positive, even though the rest of society had forced them to live in this miserable abandoned orphanage.

Despite all this, she could tell that she had not been as readily accepted by most of the others; the majority seemed to be reserving judgment for a better time and wanted little to do with her until then, though a good six or seven – including Amandus and his two sidekicks – were keeping the hostility level up rather high, and that coupled with the discomfort and anxiety associated with pretending to be Remus' girlfriend all day left Rose feeling very relieved to finally leave their company.

Rose sleepily followed Remus out in to the reception hall and up two flights of stairs, until he came to a stop outside a closed door.

"Charlotte suggested we take this room – the young boys share it but she's had them move in with Lachlan, Clive and Julian. I tidied it up a little while you were helping with lunch."

Rose nodded as she stifled a yawn, not really listening to what Remus said. She was preoccupied contemplating the horrible fact that she would be sharing a room with _him_. Remus Lupin. They had not even shared a room when they had dated, so this was something completely new, and very, very uninviting.

Remus opened the door and stepped aside to let Rose enter first. The room was rather big, with a single large window against the right wall, a very large wardrobe on the left wall and a worn out wooden Queen sized bed in the middle.

Rose heard the door close behind her. She turned around and saw Remus leaning against the wall, looking at her expectantly. It suddenly hit Rose that for the first time since that night in Grimmauld place she would now be alone with him for longer than about half a minute.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked curiously.

"Of what?" she asked calmly, as she mentally tried to calm the nerves that had just arisen.

"The room, of course."

"Oh," she said simply, and looked quickly around the room, "It's okay I gue –"

She stopped mid-sentence as her eyes landed on the bed. The Queen sized bed. The _only_ bed in the room.

"There's only one bed," she exclaimed, feeling herself pale slightly.

"Sorry?" said Remus, stepping forward.

"One bed, there's only _one_ bed," she stated, looking at him indignantly.

He looked at her in amused puzzlement, raised an eyebrow and said, "And is that a problem?"

Rose started at him in horror. He didn't – he _couldn't_ – honestly expect that they would share a bed – did he?

Remus sighed, "Rose, I'm just joking. I'm sleeping on the floor."

He waved his wand and a mattress shot out from under the bed. Rose felt a rush of relief flow through her body, though she was still feeling nervous about being alone with him, and even a little embarrassed by the fact that they had been acting as girlfriend and boyfriend all day.

Without looking at him, she made her way to her new bed, took out her wallet and extracted her suitcase from it, setting it down on her bed.

As she took out her belongings and set them in the draws at the side of her bed, she allowed herself to think about her own feelings for Remus. When she had first seen him she was overcome by emotion – shock, confusion, pain and anger, all at the same time. That night she had spoken to him, she realized that she did not hate him – but she could not say she liked him either. The shock of being around him again had certainly worn off. However the confusion, pain and anger were still there, even if she did not let them surface too often. She had not forgotten, nor forgiven, how he had left and hurt her… and still she could not say whether she liked him. It was remarkable, really, that at one stage she fancied herself in love with him, and now, she did not even know if she liked him, just as a person.

And then there was today – the holding hands, the winking, the flirting… though she kept it hidden, it confused and frustrated her. But what confused her most was how she reacted – almost instinctively – to Artemis. She had been annoyed with the way she hugged him, the way she called him 'Remmie'. She had even pushed Artemis away and latched herself to Remus' side. As much as she did not want to admit it, Rose realized that her actions could only mean one thing: she was protective of Remus. She was actually jealous of the thought that he might fancy someone else.

The realization scared her, why should she care? She certainly did not like him, or have any romantic feelings for him… so why should she be jealous?

"Rose?"

The word cut shattered her concentration and bought her back to reality. She turned around to look at Remus, who was standing in the same place he had been minutes ago, his arms crossed, looking at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," she said coldly. Her tone surprised even herself.

Remus looked very taken-aback.

"You're not," he said, "Something's wrong – you were just fine a minute ago."

"It's nothing, Lupin," she insisted, crossing her arms stubbornly, "Nothing's wrong. Okay?"

He raised an eyebrow and leaned again the wall behind him.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Then why were you slamming your clothes into that draw as though each on had personally wronged you?" Remus challenged calmly.

"Damn it, Lupin," she said in frustration, turning away from him and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She heard him sigh, "It's me, isn't it?" he said. Rose noted that his voice sounded very strained, as though he were admitting something very horrible.

"Yes, it's you," she replied harshly, still not looking at him, "When is it ever _not_ you?"

"What did I do now?" he asked dejectedly.

Rose did not know what to say. It was not that he had done anything specifically in the present time to hurt her – it was really her fourteen year old tribulations that were frustrating her at the moment.

"I don't know how you can be so thick. Isn't it _obvious_?"

"Are you angry at me again?" he asked, realization spreading across his prematurely lined face, "Is that it? For leaving you?"

Rose nodded, and at this, he became very frustrated and started pacing across the room.

"So you're still angry at me, actually angry at me, for something that happened _fourteen_ years ago?" he said sharply.

Rose was very taken-aback by his behavior. It was unlike him to become so frustrated.

"Well, I should think I have good reason to be angry," she said defensively, now standing up.

"It was _fourteen_ years ago," he repeated, his tone milder now, it was as though he were pleading with her, "Why do you need to feel angry over something that happened so long ago, Rose? Can't we just leave it where is belongs, in the past?"

Rose felt her frustration rise significantly – how could he just trivialize all the pain she had suffered?

"Do you think I want to feel angry?" she replied furiously, her voice shaking with emotion, "Do you think I like the way my life has been? Do you really think –"

But her voice started cracking as her emotions built up inside her, and she was barely able to contain a loud sob. She turned away from him, feeling the tears forming in her eyes. She had to get away from here, she could not stay. As soon as the thoughts crossed her mind, she spun on the spot and disapparated away to Grimmauld place, Remus' last cry of shock ringing heavily in her ears.


	17. Realisations

Rose landed unstably on the door step of Grimmauld place, but managed to remain on her feet. She immediately looked over her body and was relieved to see that she had not been splinched – apparating while emotionally unstable was certainly not the smartest thing she had ever done.

Still sobbing loudly, she stumbled into the house, closed the door and slide down to the floor in the hallway, burying her head in her arms and letting her tears run freely.

She heard footsteps come quickly towards her from across the hallway. She looked up; expecting to see Sirius, but it was Tonks. She was looking at her uncertainly and caution. Realizing that Tonks would not recognize her, Rose spoke up.

"T-Tonks," she stuttered through her tears, "It's m-me, Rose."

Realization spread across Tonks' face, only to be quickly replaced by worry. The young witch hurried forward and helped Rose to her feet.

"Rose, what happened?" she asked anxiously, "Were you attacked? Where's Remus, is he okay?"

"N-No, he's fine. Nothing h-h-happened," Rose managed to say, before dissolving into a fresh round of tears.

Tonks appeared relieved at the reassurance, though was obviously still worried by Rose's lack of composure. She helped the weeping Rose forward in to the kitchen where she sat her down at the table and conjured a box of extremely soft tissues.

"Thank you," said Rose gratefully, as she wiped her tears away in vain, "I'm sorry to be imposing on you like this. Where's Sirius?"

"He's having a shower," answered Tonks as she patted her on the shoulder, "And don't worry, you aren't imposing at all. What happened, though?"

"It happened so f-fast, it was all so c-c-confusing," Rose confessed miserably, "L-Lupin and I went up to our room for the night, and I g-guess he noticed something was wrong with me, and he asked if I was okay. I said I was fine but he didn't believe me, and – and, I don't know, I was a bit cold with him, and he – he asked if it was because of him, and well, it was, you know? And I said so, and then – then he realized I was angry at him for dumping me the way he did, and he just got so cheesed off, I haven't seen that frustrated since I arrived here. And then he said something like it's been fourteen years and shouldn't I be over it by now and let us be friends, and I – I –" Rose took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing, her voice was shaking, but now that she had started, it was a great relief to get things of her chest, " – that really annoyed me and I was replying to him, and I just kind of got over whelmed by my emotions, and I couldn't stand it anymore, and I just had to get away…"

With those final words, she buried her head in her hands again as her tears overwhelmed her. She stayed like that for a moment, while Tonks continued to sympathetically pat her shoulder. Finally she pulled up, wiping away her tears.

"S-sorry, I'm such a wreck," she mumbled weakly.

"It's okay, Rose, I understand," she said kindly. Rose noted she sounded a little strained, but she was not sure why, "Does Remus know you're here?"

"No, I just left," she admitted fearfully, hanging her head in shame, "I hope I haven't blown everything, I didn't even last a day. But I don't know how I can go back now, after what happened. I don't want to face him."

At that moment, Sirius walked into the room, wearing his black cotton pajamas, his hair still dripping with water.

"Rose!" he exclaimed upon seeing her, "What're you doing he – what's wrong?" he asked, realizing that she was in tears.

He immediately sat down besides her and wrapped a caring arm around her shoulder, and she repeated what she had just told Tonks moments ago.

" – and it was so cruel of him, Sirius, how could he just trivialize everything I've been through because of him? My whole life has been a miserable mess, and there is he is just asking why I can't just get over it. It's just, so, so _infuriating_."

Rose looked from Tonks to Sirius and back. Tonks was biting her lip anxiously and looked doubtful, while Sirius was shaking his head.

"Rose, I know your upset, but look, really, you're being too hard on Remus," said Sirius gently, though firmly.

"W-what?" she stuttered in shock, "I'm being hard on him? After everything I –"

But Sirius held up a hand, "That's just it, Rose. It's not just you, you aren't the only one who suffered, Remus did too."

"But that was his own –"

"Let me finish, Rose," he insisted, "Remus loved you, you know he did – yeh, yeh, I know you don't believe in love, but he still loved you anyway – and he's already told you that losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to him. How can you not think that he loved you? But you didn't see him after he left you, did you? Tell me, have you ever seen Remus cry?"

"No, Remus never used to cry, what's that got to do with anything?" Rose responded, biting her lip, though she thought she knew what was coming.

"Exactly, he never cries. In all the seven years I shared with him at Hogwarts, I never saw him shed a tear once, even after the worst transformations. But you know what he did after he dumped you? He came straight to my place, and he bloody bawled his eyes out. He just sat there crying and crying, it was about half an hour before I could even get him to speak," he said, his expression very serious.

Rose bit her lip, and her eyes filled with tears again. Sirius was right about Remus – it was just a rule with him; he never cried. And yet if what Sirius is saying is true, Remus _had_ cried, for her.

"You don't know how damn scary that was, Rose, seeing one of my best mates break down like that. And it didn't stop there, for those last few months I got to spend time with him before I was sent to Azkaban, the guy hardly smiled at all, he even cried a few more times after that. He missed you so much, and he was bloody guilty too, Lily was telling him about how bad you were doing and all that."

"But he didn't have to do that, Sirius," said Rose emphatically, "He didn't have to just leave me, I didn't _care_ –"

"But _he_ cared, Rose, you know how he is, he wasn't going to let you ruin your life like that – don't you understand how much he ruined his own life just to do what he thought was best for you?"

"But he _hurt_ me," Rose whispered, tears falling freely down her cheeks, "He hurt me so much."

She felt Tonks put a comforting hand on her shoulder again.

"He didn't mean it," said Tonks firmly, "I know I haven't known Remus as long as you have, but I've known him long enough to know he's harmless, he wouldn't hurt anyone if he didn't have to, not unless they did something really, really bad, he's even fair to _Snape_."

"Exactly," added Sirius, nodding vigorously, "And tell me, how has he been in front of the werewolves? Good acting?"

Rose nodded, "Yeh, good acting, lots of affection and everything."

"But he's not acting, you really mean a lot to him Rose, you might have been out of his life for fourteen years, but he didn't spend that time being angry at you, like you were with him. He missed you. And do you know how happy he was to see you back? I mean, sure, he was put down by the whole fire-slap and hostility and all, but he was so excited at the chance to make it up to you. The guilt that he had for leaving you, knowing how much he had hurt you, seriously, Rose, it was huge, and having you back here meant that he could change all that. True, he couldn't change the past, but he figured it was the least he could do, to make things right for you, and so that you guys could be friends again."

"But I didn't let him," she moaned, the guilt building up inside her now, her hands pulling at her unfamiliar short, curly hair, "I didn't let him, I was just so cold, and – and kept assuming the worst. Oh, God, it's a miracle he doesn't hate me all together."

"Don't blame yourself, Rose," Tonks said as summoned the magical kettle, "Don't be so harsh on yourself, you've been through a lot, and you haven't seen him in that many years and then he just kind of pops up out of no where, yeh, it'd be hard for anyone. But – but just, lay off him 

a little now, won't you? I mean, even I've noticed he's become a little sadder than usual lately," she admitted sadly as she poured three cups of tea from the now steaming kettle.

"I'm so selfish," Rose moaned shamefully, as she slowly sipped her tea, "I can't believe I never even gave a second thought to how he must have felt, I just told myself it was his fault, that he should have never left me, and hurt me… but I finally get what you've been trying to tell me Sirius, and what Molly said too – that he's just a good guy, trying to do that right thing, even though it devastated him. Oh, I'm so _horrible_!"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but before he could get a word out, another, gentle though hoarser voice from behind them spoke.

"You're not horrible."

The three of them gasped and Rose spilled her tea as she turned around abruptly in her seat to see Remus standing behind them in the door way, looking extremely disheveled and rather pale, but nonetheless smiled at Rose in a painful kind of way.

There was a moments stunned silence during which Rose starred at him in shock. Then, suddenly, without warning, she jumped up from her seat, rushed towards him and threw her hands around him, her tears falling freely again.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry, Remus," she sobbed, her chin resting on his shoulder, "Please, forgive me, I've been so _horrible_ –"

Remus patted her nervously on the back, "It's okay, Rose, really, it's fine."

"No, it isn't f-fine," she whispered, "But it will be, I'll make sure it will be. You'll see, we can be friends again."

She pulled away from him slightly and looked up at him tearfully, "Do you forgive me?" she asked sincerely.

"Of course," he replied, smiling reassuringly.

The tension instantly left her body, and she smiled for the first time since leaving the orphanage, "Thank you, Remus."

Rose let go of him, still smiling, and wiped away the last of her tears. She looked over at Sirius, who was beaming at her and Remus, and Tonks, who was smiling sadly.

"How long were you there for, Remus," she asked amusedly, "We didn't even hear you come in."

He shrugged, "About a minute. I heard enough… thank you for your defense, Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that, Remus," said Tonks, sighed exasperatedly, though she was smiling, "And you're welcome."

"Did – did I ruin everything, Remus?" Rose asked tentatively, "Did they notice I left? I assume they must have heard –"

Remus patted her shoulder comfortingly, "They heard, but I told them you realized that you left some things at your friends place and went to get them."

"That's some good thinking, Remus," said Sirius, still grinning widely, "So can you two stay for a bit, or do you have to get straight back?"

"Maybe ten minutes or so. I'm just going to have a quick shower before heading back, the bathrooms there are horrible…"

"Should I go with you?" Rose asked, thinking that it would be nice to spend the night here, rather than in that uninviting building.

"Where, to the shower?" asked Sirius before Remus could answer.

There was a stunned silence for a moment, during which Rose opened her mouth, and then closed it when she realized she couldn't make a sound. She felt the colour rising to her cheeks and a quick glance at Remus showed that his cheeks were equal coloured.

Sirius and Tonks looked at each, then looked at Rose and Remus, looked back at each other, and simultaneously started laughing hysterically.

"Oh, your face!" gasped Sirius, as he clasped his hands to his sides, "You should have seen yourself, Rose!"

"P-priceless!" added Tonks, who was laughing so hard that she had tears streaming down her face, "Absolutely priceless, I've never seen Remus turn so red!"

Rose mentally kicked herself for having let Sirius embarrass her like that.

"Ha ha, very funny, Sirius," she drawled sarcastically, shaking her head. She turned to Remus, who was still blushing slightly and also shaking his head and said, "You'd better hurry up and shower, I don't think I can stand their laughter much longer."

Remus flashed her a grateful smile, "I'll try not to take too long."

He turned around and hurried out of the room, but at the door he paused and turned around.

"Rose?" he said.

"Yes, Remus?"

He paused for a moment, then smiled, a deeper, warmer smile and said, "Thanks. Really. I appreciate it."


	18. The Beach

Anabelle, wake up!"

The shout startled Rose out of her deep sleep, and she sat up quickly in bed, looking around for the voice, only to see Artemis standing at the foot of her bed, smirking down at her.

"Oh, hey, Artemis," she mumbled sleepily, "What's up?"

"Not you, obviously," she replied smartly, "Remus asked me to wake you up, it already eleven o'clock! Do you sleep like the dead or what?"

Rose chuckled, "Yeh, I tend to do that, it's a bad habit. Anyway, thanks for the wake up call. Why didn't he come wake me up himself?"

"He went down to the lake with a few of the boys for a swim," she replied, a slow smile spreading across her face.

"What? It's freezing outside!" exclaimed Rose, as she slipped out of bed. She wondered why Artemis was in such a good mood. She was actually treating her civilly.

"I know," she replied happily as she made her way to the door, "But Remus put a charm on the lake and the area around it to make it warm. He's really got away with that wand of his. It feels like summer, you'll see! Anyway, see you down stairs."

Artemis left the room in high spirits and Rose made her way to the bathroom across the hall. Remus had not been joking when he said the bathrooms here were horrible, it looked like something out Rose's worst nightmare, but with the help of her wand she was able to make it usable in a matter of minutes, and half an hour later she was making her way down to breakfast.

As she sat in the kitchen alone, enjoying her breakfast, Rose allowed her mind to wonder back to last night. She had ended up staying an hour with Sirius and Tonks after Remus had left, and when she had returned, he was already fast asleep, and so, she had not really had much of a chance to speak to him after having apologized. She wondered whether it would be strange to speak to him now, after the outburst, tears and apology… especially now that she would be approaching him in a way she was unfamiliar with: as a friend. The prospect actually made her smile.

Just as Rose finished her breakfast, Artemis strode in to the room, followed by a very excited looking woman who Rose vaguely remembered was called Janet. She appeared to be in her late twenties, but she seemed more like a teenager as she jumped around excitedly, her curly red hair bouncing childishly across her face.

"What are you so excited about, Janet?" Rose asked amusedly.

"We're going down to the lake, want to come?" she asked eagerly, "I'm sure you'll enjoy it, Remus is there! And Lachlan, Julian, Clive and the little ones."

"Sure, I guess," said Rose, standing up interestedly, "But I haven't bought any swimwear with me…"

"We just wear old shorts and t-shirts," Artemis said shrugging.

Rose suspected that the werewolves living here could not really afford the luxury of swimwear. At Janet's suggestion, she hurried up stairs and changed into a pair of knee length shorts and t-shirt, feeling very subconscious of her new, chubbier self, though she had to admit the new tan looked great. She threw on a robe as well; although Remus had warmed the lake, it would be cold on their way there.

"How far is this place?" asked Rose as she followed the women outside of the orphanage's outer gates. She looked around and could not see anything that remotely resembled a puddle, let alone a lake.

"See that hill?" Janet asked, pointing to their left, "It's just behind there, its nothing big, we never used to swim in it before, not until Remus came along and fixed it up a bit. He cleaned the water and changed part of it so it had sand instead of soil and made it so it is all nice and warm all year round. He managed to make sure all the dark creatures in the lake didn't get in to the swimming water. I have to say, you've got one talented wizard of a boyfriend, Anabelle."

Rose did not need to pretend to look very pleased and flattered; her smile and thanks were genuine. She was rather looking forward to seeing what Remus had done.

They finally reached the hill and as they climbed to the top, the lake quickly came into sight before them. Janet was right in saying it was not big, though it would still probably take a fast walker about an hour to walk around it all. The waters were very murky and uninviting, it also seemed to become very deep, very quickly, except for the part of the lake closest to them where a number of people were swimming – the water there was a gorgeous blue against the clean, white sand. Rose was awestruck – it looked like a stretch of beach had been transposed onto the lake.

"Wow," she muttered, as she took in the scene, "Wow, did Remus really do this?"

"Yep," said Janet, as she ran forward on to the sand and removed her robe exposing her singlet and shorts below. Rose could not help but notice the many scars.

"Took him ages. Brilliant, isn't?"

Rose followed her and Artemis on to the sand as well and as soon as she stepped on to it, she felt a wave of heat engulf her, and hastened to shed her robe as well. She watched Janet run 

into the water, her eyes set in Julian, who she had been watching keenly. Artemis followed her, but she moved towards Lachlan and Clive instead.

Rose sat down on the sand and removed her shoes, and just when she had taken off both her socks, a shadow appeared in front of her. She looked up see who it was, and when she saw him, her breathe caught in her throat.

Remus was standing in front of her and smiling. He was dripping water on to the sand and his hair was soaked. Rose suddenly understood why Artemis was in such a good mood: he was _topless_.

Rose stared stupidly for a moment with her mouth hanging slightly open, taking in his surprisingly toned torso and the many, mostly faded, scars that littered it, before blushing and forcing herself to look at his face instead. His expression made her blush even more; he had obviously noticed her discomfort and surprise, but covered it by a friendly smile.

"Er, hi," she said in a would-be casual voice, "Can't afford a t-shirt?"

Remus grinned but blushed a little, "The guys here don't swim with t-shirts, it would look weird if I did. Er, which brings us to the main issue here."

"What's that?" she asked apprehensively.

"You're kind of expected to join me in the water," he said simply, offering her a hand.

She took it shyly and allowed him to help her up, making sure to keep as much distance between herself and the topless torso as possible while trying to look like she was actually standing close to him, so the others did not get suspicious. It was as difficult as it sounded.

Remus led her forward into the water, and Rose was grateful that he maintained a respectful distance. They were rather far away from the rest, so there was no need to pretend to flirt, for the time being at least.

"So, I've heard you did this all yourself," commented Rose as they moved into the waist high water, "It's really impressive… it could pass as a real beach any day."

"Thank you," he replied modestly.

"I mean, just look at this water, it's almost crystal clear! And the way it's so warm, it must have really taken some hard work to pull this off so nicely," she continued. She was not sure exactly why she was flattering him so much, but part of her felt it was the least she could do after yesterday's outburst.

Remus smiled as he ducked under the water for a moment, and then floated on his back besides her, "Just a little transfiguration and some well placed charms. Nothing you couldn't have done, I'm sure. Although it took me long enough."

"What made you want to do it?" she asked curiously.

He grinned back sheepishly at her, "Well, you know, it does get stressful in here… so I figured what better way to relax than to have a fake beach just over the hill? And it helped me gain the friendship of a few of them too, after they saw what I had done for them. It makes life here just that little bit more interesting."

"Ingenious, Remus," she said, grinning broadly, "I'm impressed."

Rose watched him as he disappeared under the water again, smiling happily at the way they had managed to be perfectly civil with each other. She wondered vaguely when he had toned up much, he certainly had not looked like _that_ the last time she had seen him topless. Her eyes lingered on what she could see of his back, but she quickly chastised herself and looked away. She really should not be looking at his body in _that_ way.

Remus resurfaced again a few meters away from where Rose stood, where the water was deeper and came to just above his elbows, and Rose swam towards him, finally getting her upper half wet as well.

As she straightened herself up in the water, she felt two hands grab her side and the next thing she knew, Remus had pulled her towards him. She let out a gasp as he hugged her and rested his head next to hers.

"A few of them are coming towards us, act flirty," he whispered.

He looked down at her face and she assumed he must have (correctly) read her expression to show great discomfort, because he quickly loosed his grip a little though not letting her go.

"I'm sorry, Rose, are you uncomfortable?" he asked, biting his lip worriedly.

"I, er, I mean, yes," she stammered in embarrassment, "I mean, you _are_ topless…"

"I'd rather not be, but it really isn't up to me," he said quickly.

He looked up towards his right, and Rose followed his gaze and saw that the Lachlan and Julian were quickly approaching them, "Look, Rose, I don't want to do anything that offends you or makes you uncomfortable –"

"It's okay, Remus," she cut him off, "I understand. It's for the Order, that's why we're here, after all."

She looked to her left and saw that the two men were only meters away, and, for show, she nervously kissed Remus quickly on the lips and then threw herself backwards in to the water, while Remus chatted with Lachlan and Julian, who, it turned out, had wanted to challenge him to a race.

"Don't mind if we take him of your hands, for a while, do you Anabelle?" asked Lachlan, grinning at her from a far.

"Be my guest!" she called out to him, glad that the displays of affection were over, at least for the moment.

She watched as the three men prepared to race each other, and as she did, she noticed uncomfortably the many scars that covered both of the young men's bodies. Their scars were much deeper than Remus' and did not look as well healed – Rose realised sadly that they must not have anyone to treat their wounds for them after the full moon in the same way Remus did, and they certainly would not have any wolfsbane.

Rose enjoyed the water for a while longer before deciding to just sit on the sand and enjoy the sun while she waited for Remus to join her. She magically dried herself off, lay down on a large towel she had conjured for a while, simply enjoying the sun and admiring Remus' handy work.

After a while, she noticed a shadow appear on the sand besides her.

"Remus?" she asked hopefully, looking up, but it was not him.

"Hi, sorry to disappoint, but it's only me. Mind if I pull up some sand?" asked Lachlan as she grinned down at her.

Rose sat up quickly while fighting the blush that was spreading across her cheeks at seeing him topless.

"Sure," she said a little awkwardly. She was not used to talking with men much. Back home she avoided them as much as she could; after her horrible dating experiences, she could not help but not trust them. The only men she was truly comfortable with were those she had known from her past, like Sirius, Dumbledore and, to a lesser extent for obvious reasons, Remus.

"Thank," he replied as he sat down next to her.

Rose was relieved to see that he kept a reasonable gap between them, though she knew that now that she did not look like her usual veela self, and because of the fact that she was masquerading as Remus' girlfriend, she did not have much to worry about.

"Bored of the water?" she asked conversationally.

"Yeh, that, and I think my skin is starting to wrinkle," he said, looking down at his hands, "It's bad enough looking older than I am because I'm a werewolf, I don't need the wrinkly skin to go with it just yet, though."

Rose laughed nervously but did not say anything… even though Lachlan had clearly said that as a joke, she was not quite sure where to draw the line with regards to werewolf related humour just yet. Lachlan, however, seemed to notice her discomfort.

"What's up? You can laugh, you know, I won't get offended, Anabelle," he said pointedly.

"Sorry, I mean, I don't want to say anything offensive, you know?" she said in an apologetic tone.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine," he reassured her, "I guess this must be new to you huh? Well, you can't be too bad. I mean, your Lupin's girlfriend, so you're obviously not the snobby type who think they are better than us just because they're normal."

"I – yeh, I guess," she said untruthfully. She certainly was not new to being around werewolves at all, "So, how long have you been here?" she asked curiously, "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"Nah, it's cool," he said, casually stretching his legs out in the sand, though Rose noticed his expression harden slightly, "It's been a few years I guess, I was bitten when I was twenty-nine. Lost my job and everything because of it."

Rose felt a pang of guilt in her heart.

"I'm sorry to hear it. The extent to which people fear werewolves is ridiculous, honestly," she said softly, thinking back to Remus and how hard his life had been when they graduated, how difficult it was for him to find work, even though he had the most amazing talent. She looked out to the lake and her eyes found the object of her thoughts. He was still swimming with Julian though he seemed to be really enjoying himself. Rose smiled to herself, it was good to see him relaxing for once; ever since she had arrived at Grimmauld he seemed to be always involved in something serious, never just giving himself some personal time.

"Yep," Lachlan agreed, "Ironically, many of the people here were extremely anti-werewolves themselves before they were bitten. Like Amandus and his little gang. I think sometimes normal people forget that if anyone should fear werewolves, it's the werewolves themselves."

Rose turned to look at him, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she thought about what he had just said, "What makes you say that?"

"Ever been attacked by a werewolf?" he asked meaningfully.

"Er –" said Rose hesitantly, she actually had been attacked by a werewolf, not just any werewolf – by Remus himself, in their fifth year.

"Didn't think so," said Lachlan smiling sadly, obviously misinterpreting her lack of response, "But we have, we've been attacked, and bitten, obviously, I'd be surprised if any werewolf could tell you an event in their own lives that was scarier than the night they were bitten."

Rose bit her lip, "I hadn't thought of it that way."

There was a moment silence, and suddenly, a thought occurred to her. Even though it was Remus' task to do the convincing, and her main role was to play the girlfriend-bodyguard, this was a perfect chance for her to start on some recruiting for the Order.

"But you know, not everyone feels like that. There's plenty of decent folk out there who will give you a chance."

Lachlan shook his head, some water dripped from his wet hair on to the sand, "But most of them hate us, or are scared of us. It's because of them – the majority – that we are stuck in this place," he said bitterly.

"But, you don't _hate_ them, do you?" she asked shrewdly.

Lachlan was silent for a moment before answering, "I don't know. I mean, I wasn't exactly crazy about werewolves myself, I'd never met one but I'd like to think I would at least have given one a chance if I did. I mean, I can see where they are coming from – most of them probably don't really know that we are just normal humans at the end of the day, and they'd be scared that we will endanger them, they are taught to act and think how society teaches them to, and that's what they do. But, it's tough, there's a lot of bitterness looked up in side. It's hard to be treated like that and not feel a little hate. That doesn't mean I'm about to eat you for breakfast though," he added, throwing her a casual smile.

Rose forced a laugh and rather than press the topic, and let herself joke around a little bit with him. She was moderately pleased with his response – though she still had not ascertained how anti-social he could be, the thoughts he had expressed were certainly very reasonable for someone treated the way he had been. Rose only hoped that the others would be as reasonable too, though somehow, she was not feeling too optimistic.

A few minutes later, Remus left the water with Julian and Artemis right behind him. Rose was relieved to see that he had dried himself up and put on a t-shirt before sitting next to her on her towel. She was especially glad that she was not alone with Lachlan anymore. Even though he did seem like a very nice, down-to-earth kind of guy, it was worth being cautious, after all, the last date she had been on led her to believe he was a great guy, and he turned out to be married.

"Hey, Anabelle dear, mind if I join you?" Remus asked as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer towards him, not really giving her much option in the matter.

"Mmm, I don't mind, Remus," she said, trying hard not to look too tense as she leaned against him. She was amazed at the way he was so natural at this, and she promised herself at that moment that she would try hard to act natural too.

Rose listened to the conversation the others were having for a while, rather than join in. She focused instead on allowing herself to become comfortable leaning against Remus, though it was admittedly hard. She could not even remember the last time she had sat like this against a person, and she was certain that she have never sat that way with anyone other than Remus. After a while, she shifted slightly so that her back was resting against his side in what would have been a very comfortable position had she not been feeling a little awkward, and she closed her eyes and simply allowed herself to peacefully rest against him, enjoying the sound the water gently hitting the shore and the warmth of the mid-afternoon sun.

A moment later, she felt his hand gently stroking her side, and she smiled – it actually felt rather nice. She was pleased with herself, she was sure that if he had done that just a moment earlier she would have tensed but she finally seemed to have found some comfort – for the time being at least.

She was not sure how long she had remained sitting like that, but after what she knew must have been at least half an hour, she felt Remus gently nudging her side. She opened her eyes and turned her head towards him, fighting back a blush as she felt his lips brush against the side of her face.

"Yeh, Remus?" she mumbled.

"Come on, up you get, we're heading back inside," he said.

Rose stood up quickly, and held out a hand to help Remus stand up. He accepted it, though Rose noticed him wince slightly and hold his side as he stood.

"What's wrong?" she asked concernedly, "Don't tell me I was hurting you!"

Remus smiled in a pained kind of way, "It's fine."

Rose looked at him sternly, "No it isn't fine, Remus. Look at you, you can hardly stand. It wouldn't have killed you to have just asked me to move, you know! I didn't know it was making your side numb, if I did I would have –"

But they did not find out what she would have done, because at that moment, Remus pulled her towards him and placed his lips on her, silencing her immediately. In her shock at the abrupt action, it took her a moment to actually respond, but she did eventual, though it did not stop the heat from rising to her cheeks. Her legs quivered from nervousness and a rush of emotion overwhelmed her – similar to that she had felt the first time he had kissed her.

Don't cry, Rose, she told herself, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Just stay calm, or you will blow everything.

She could hear some laughter coming from the others, as well as a snort she was rather sure came from Artemis, and she slowly pulled away from Remus, forcing herself to smile slyly, though she knew that Remus saw the hurt in her eyes.

"You guys go ahead," she heard Remus call out to the others, who, after a quick glance, she noticed were already half way up the hill.

There was some more laugher and she heard Lachlan call out, "If you wanted some time alone with the lady, all you had to do was ask!"

A moment later, they disappeared over the hill and Remus immediately withdrew his hands from around her waist.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, "I shouldn't have done that, I didn't even think about how it might affect you – I mean, that's kind of what the guys around here do, if their girls won't stop pressing an issue, they kiss them to silence them. I know it isn't the most well mannered way of –"

Rose held up a hand and took a deep breath, "Remus, you're rambling, relax. It – it's not your fault, it's _mine_."

She sat down on her towel again and buried her head in her hand, willing herself not to cry. She forced herself to push back the emotions that the kiss had caused to surface. She was angry at herself; she had already set things straight him yesterday, she had promised him they could be friends, so why did she – the cool and collected Rose Wilson – still breakdown just because he was kissing her? Why did the feel of his lips against hers bring back so many memories and emotions?

"I'm sorry," she muttered hopelessly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them, finally looking up at Remus as she blinked tears out of her eyes. He was looking down at her with guilt and worry etched across his face, "I – I don't now why I'm reacting like this… it's just a kiss… I'm going to ruin everything, aren't I?"

Remus shook his head in understanding, "No," he said softly, "It isn't your fault, you won't ruin anything, I'll just refrain from kissing you ever again. Okay?"

Rose watched him curiously as he spoke those words – a strange expression had snuck across his face. Was it shame? Or disappointment? Was he possibly upset that she had let him down? Rose thought about his proposal for a moment; the possibility of never locking lips with him again was tempting, but would it be good for their cover?

"We don't know how long we will be staying here," she said after a while, "Imagine if they don't see us kiss for like a few months on end. I wouldn't blame them for getting a little suspicious."

Remus nudged the sand with his feet in defeat, "What do you propose we do then? I can't put you through this continuously."

"I – I guess we could practise?" she suggested nervously.

"What do you mean?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, practise…" she said slowly, "In our room or something, maybe I'll get desensitized to it after a bit?"

A blush spread across his cheeks as he realised that she meant what she said. He looked positively flustered.

"You're – you're sure?" he stuttered.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said, with a decisiveness she did not feel, "I guess we should start tonight… If that's okay with you?"

He shrugged, "As long as you're fine with it. It's a little strange though, isn't it?"

"What, practising kissing with someone you broke up with fourteen years and haven't seen in just as long in the hope of fooling a pack of werewolves into believing that you really are a 

couple so that you can convince them not to join Voldemort and rebel against wizardkind?" she said, raising an eyebrow, "No, it's not strange at all. I do it all the time. Don't you?"

Remus simply laughed and shook his head in amusement, and the tension that had been building up between them faded instantly.

"Everyday, Rose," he said, "Everyday."

* * *

**Strictly speaking, I am extremely busy at the moment, you're fortunate I even had time to post this one! Next post will be up in a few days (I hope!). **


	19. Faylinn

And so that night they practised. And the night after that, and then again after that. Each and every time was emotionally draining for Rose, but she wouldn't give up. As much as it embarrassed her, as much as she hoped no one other than Sirius would come to know of these practise sessions, she was determined. She was going to desensitise herself, and that was final.

Remus was being very supportive. Even though Rose suspected he was feeling guilty because it was his own fault Rose was constantly being reduced to tears, he was willing to cooperate, and he never pushed her to do more than she wanted. Rose absolutely hated that he was seeing her cry – it made her feel vulnerable and she did not want him to think that she somehow wished they could go back to what they used to be: a normal couple. This only drove her to focus harder on desensitising herself, and so by the end of the week, she had successfully managed to kiss him with only a minimal rush of emotion.

"Well," she had said, as she pulled away from him, a smile playing at her lips, "I think the practise has finally payed off."

"That – that's good," he had replied, as he sat down on the side of her bed, breathing deeply, his cheeks tinted red.

He had looked just like he always had at the end of these 'sessions' – deeply embarrassed, though Rose suspected there was some sort of satisfaction there too. Had he been anyone else, Rose would have glared at him vindictively for showing anything other than remorse for having the nerve to have kissed her, but with Remus, it was different: he was not the gloating type. Rose knew he was doing it only because he had to (she really had not given him much of an option).

After that session, they had decided that they did not need to practise anymore, much to her relief. Even though she knew it was out of her hands, and that it just had to be done, Rose could not help but let the shame of it all overwhelm her sometimes. She felt cheap, incredibly cheap, and she could just imagine the accusatory glares of the witches back in Australia – if anything, this was their proof that she was no good. The only real solace she had was that it was only 

Remus, and she knew the shame she felt would have been magnified tenfold if it had been anyone else.

Practise sessions aside, the friendship between Rose and Remus was coming along nicely – although in truth, it was slowed down substantial by the awkward situations they have put themselves in. Both of them seemed to have found a comfort zone with the flirting – neither over doing, nor under doing it either.

Even life with the werewolves was steadily improving over the weeks – Rose was slowly growing more comfortable around Lachlan, and, to a lesser extent, Julian and Clive, but she was still a little reserved. Charlotte was always great company and she even managed to have a few decent conversations with Artemis, though these always seemed to deteriorate quickly whenever Remus showed up and started lavishing his attention on to Rose. Remus, on the other hand, was working hard trying to subtly correct the anti-social behaviour of the werewolves; though he was making excellent progress with Lachlan, Artemis and a few others, most of what he said seemed to be falling on deaf ears. Amandus and his like were determined to hate everyone who was not a werewolf, and many of the others were just filled with too much hurt and depression to forgive the wider general community.

All things consider, Rose was very happy when the day of the first full moon arrived, and she was finally able to leave the orphanage and spend the night at Grimmauld place. She was especially worried about how Sirius was coping being stuck there all alone.

"Sirius!" sang Rose as she and Remus arrived in Grimmauld place that afternoon, "Where are you?"

When there was no reply she hurried down do the kitchen to see if he was there and she found him with his head down on the table, apparently deep asleep.

"Aw, doesn't he look so innocent when he sleeps?" she whispered to Remus, "I can't believe he isn't watching for us ecstatically."

"Mmm, it's unusual for him to have a nap at this time of the day, still, we shouldn't disturb him," replied Remus, "Do you want to go sit up stairs until he wakes up? Just so we don't bother him."

Rose shook her head, "I want to go have a shower."

A quarter of an hour later, Rose was making her way back downstairs after a nice, warm refreshing shower, her curly black hair still hanging damply around her head. As she descended the stairs in to the kitchen, she paused, having heard her name.

" – but she's coming along nicely, though, I mean she hasn't yelled at me at all since that night we were here," she heard Remus say, "I think she's finally becoming comfortable around me and letting the past go."

"I knew she would," replied Sirius amusedly, "But what about you?"

"What about me?" asked Remus, though his tone told her that he knew exactly what Sirius was talking about.

"Don't act dumb with me Moony" – Rose smiled at the use of the old nickname – "You know what I'm talking about. How've you been enjoying all the kissing, then?"

Rose felt herself feeling distinctly hot around the ears, but she leaned forward a little closely to hear.

"You know it's strictly for work purposes, Padfoot –"

"Pfft!" she heard Sirius snort, "Yeh, and I'm a hinkypunk. Order work or not – you've been kissing her almost daily from what I gather. Now, that had her all emotional and what not, but about you? Don't tell me you don't feel anything?"

"Of course I feel something, Sirius," replied Remus bitterly, "Any man would. Damn it, it's been hard. I don't let her see it, but it's taken its toll on me too, kissing her like that, flirting with her, but knowing that it's just Order work, not real. It isn't real, Sirius, not like how it used to be. We aren't young and innocent anymore."

Rose was startled – she has suspected that Remus might have been enjoying it, but she never realised it was effecting him emotionally as well.

"Do you want it to be real?"

But Rose was not able to hear the answer to that question, because at that moment the front door opened. Cursing silently, she hurried back up the stairs as quietly as she could, not wanting Remus and Sirius to realise she had heard their conversation. She rushed up to the hall way, but paused when she saw the front door – it was closing, apparently on its own accord, as there was no one there to close it.

Bewildered, Rose pulled out her wand defensively, but at that moment she heard a sob, and then a swish of a cloak later, Faylinn was standing in front of her holding Mad Eye's Invisibility Cloak, her face wet with tears.

Rose quickly put away her wand and ran forward.

"Faylinn! What's wrong? What happened?" she asked urgently, as she wrapped her arms around her in a comforting hug.

Faylinn stepped back from here at first, as though she did not recognise her, then she said, in a trembling voice,

"Rose?"

"Yeh, it's me," she said soothingly as Faylinn collapsed onto her shoulder in a fresh round of sobs.

Rose felt the dread mounting inside her as she realising that Faylinn had obviously just returned from her shift guarding the Prophecy. Had she been attacked by Death Eaters?

She helped Faylinn down to the kitchen, her face creased with worry. Remus and Sirius looked up when they entered, and both jumped out of their seats when they saw the state Faylinn was in.

"What happened?" asked Remus, looking pale and worried.

Rose shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as she felt Faylinn in to a seat at the table, took the Invisibilty Cloak and her bag from her and put them to the side. She buried her head in her arms, she was crying so hard that her chest was heaving.

Rose sat down next to her, Remus sat at her other side and Sirius across her – all looked worried and shared a look that clearly said they were all thinking the same thing – was she attacked?

"Faylinn," said Remus gently, nudging her face gently to indicate that she should sit up. Rose thought she saw her give the faintest shudder as she complied and sat up, wiping her tears from her face.

"Were you attacked?" he continued, still sounding very gentle but Rose could see that his eyes were extremely alert.

Faylinn shook her head, and Rose let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm s-sorry if I worried you all," Faylinn said, her voice a little steadier now though it still shook slightly, "I wasn't attacked. It's nothing like that."

"What happened then?" said Sirius, watching her gravely as he leaned back casually in his seat, his arms folded across his chest.

Faylinn bit her lip and Rose saw fresh tears well up in her eyes.

"I – I saw something," she whispered, "I saw him. He – he –"

"Him?" asked Rose frowning, "Who do you mean?"

Faylinn did not answer but just shook her head and continued, "He – he was kissing her, as if his life depended on it, and then he saw me, and – he just, just smirked at me, and went back to kissing her."

Rose felt her eyes open wide and her mouth fell open – she couldn't mean, she didn't mean –

"Your boyfriend?" asked Sirius angrily, his fists clenched, "That guy you started going out with a month ago?"

Faylinn nodded biting her lip again; she looked like she was fighting back tears.

Both Sirius and Rose let out cries of outrage and Remus shook his head in disgust. He patted her gently on her shoulder and said,

"Don't cry, Faylinn, it'll be fine, this pathetic excuse for a wizard isn't worth your tears," he said reassuringly.

"Exactly," added Sirius emphatically, "He's a bloody two-timing git, that's what he is. If I ever get my name cleared and I'm allowed to leave this place, you point him out to me, okay Faylinn? I'll hex him so bad he'll never be able to have kids."

Faylinn made a sound that sounded halfway between a hiccup and a laugh.

"I think I might have already taken care of that, Sirius," she said, a small smile finally playing at her lips.

"Oh?" said Remus, his eyes twinkling in a way that they only did when he was up to no good, "What did you do?"

"Bat Boggie hex, just when he started kissing her again. The girl he was kissing pulled away from him and started shrieking like a banshee when she saw him. I stayed long enough to tell him it was over before coming straight here."

"Good on you, Fay," said Rose encouragingly as Sirius roared with laughter, "I'm proud of you – you did exactly what I would have done, except I probably would have settled for something a little more sinister than a Bag Boggie hex."

Faylinn smiled, her eyes miraculously free of tears for the first time, "No? I think you've got more in built ways of dealing with these things. A little burn wouldn't go amiss."

"That's the spirit," muttered Sirius as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, "Wish I could have seen that. Where's Dumbledore's pensive when you need it?"

At that moment there was a beastly cry from upstairs.

"That'd be Buckbeak," said Sirius standing up and making his way out of the room, "If you'll excuse me, he hasn't eaten in a bit, shame Wormtail isn't around…"

Faylinn sighed deeply as she rubbed her eyes, "He was a bit of a bore anyway. It's not like I was crazy about him."

"Why'd you go out with him then?" asked Remus, as he made his way to the counter to make some tea.

"I don't know, I guess I thought I'd give him a chance, I mean I'd been on a few dates before, guys I'd meet through work and stuff, but it never worked out, I was getting worried I'd never find anyone," she replied.

"Faylinn, do you realise you are currently in a house occupied by three single thirty-five year olds? You're still young – very young," Remus assured her, as he placed a cup of tea in front of her.

"Thanks, Professor," she said, smiling warmly at him as she accepted the cup of tea.

Remus placed a cup in front of Rose and took the seat Sirius had been sitting in earlier.

"How many times have I told you to call me Remus?" he said, cocking an eyebrow.

Faylinn blushed slightly and giggled, "Er, okay… Professor Remus."

Remus laughed loudly and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. Faylinn watched him amusedly.

Rose watched them curiously – since when did Faylinn blush and giggle like that? They had only spoken a few times, but she had certainly never seen her act like this.

"Sorry, Professor, but it's a bad habit I just can't get out of, besides, I like calling you Professor. Think of it as a testament to the fact that you were the best DADA Professor we ever had at Hogwarts," she said, throwing him an innocent – or at least Rose liked to think it was – wink.

"So," said Rose, considering Faylinn suspiciously, "Isn't there anyone you would actually like to go out with?"

"Huh?" said Faylinn, looking away from Remus and at her, "Anyone I would like to…? Oh. Well, I mean, yeh… I guess so…" she answer slowly, as though not really sure about her answer.

"That's great!" said Remus encouragingly, "Why don't you tell him how you feel, then?"

Faylinn blushed slightly again, and looked down at her cup of tea, tracing the edge nervously with her fingers, "I don't think he's interested in me in that way, to be honest."

"How do you know that?" he asked, frowning.

"Well, he's never really given any hints…" she explained, looking distinctly embarrassed, "I don't think it would work out anyway, there's a bit of an age gap, even though I really like him, I don't think I'm his kind of girl. Anyway, he's a good friend; I wouldn't want to risk anything by telling him how I feel, because I know he doesn't feel the same way."

"So he doesn't know how you feel at all?"

"No, I don't think so, he's a totally clueless," she said with a small laugh.

"What's he like?" asked Rose, who was starting to feel more and more like she knew exactly who Faylinn was talking about.

"Oh, you know," she replied, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, "Tall, handsome, good build, nice brown hair, and these light brown eyes you can just totally loose yourself in, intelligent, witty, modest, brave, caring, selfless, too damn nice for his own good, charming though not in a flirtatious way, courteous, swimming in chivalry… you know, the usual."

Remus gaped at her with his mouth hanging slightly open, "That's got to be an exaggeration, no man can possibly be all that! It's – it's just so, so –"

"Impossible?" asked Rose, biting her lip in an attempt to prevent a laugh.

"Oh, and not to mention, he's a little slow on the uptake," added Faylinn, who, like Rose, looked like she was struggling not to laugh.

"I'll say," muttered Rose under her breath.

Faylinn looked at Rose a little anxiously at this; Rose supposed her smile was a little too knowing. She winking at Faylinn knowingly and grinned at her, and Faylinn grinned back sheepishly with a small shrug of her shoulders.

Remus looked from on to the other in confusion, "What? What did I just miss?"

Rose laughed, "Wouldn't you like to know, Remus."

Remus looked, if possible, more confused. It was just too much for Rose and Faylinn to handle: they both burst out laughing; Rose even had tears streaming down her face.

Sirius walked into the room, and came to a stop when he saw Rose and Faylinn laughing, with Remus looking very confused and slightly annoyed.

"Er, did I miss something? Last time I checked, Faylinn was bowling her eyes out…" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not the only one who missed something, Sirius," replied Remus, as he watched the two women suspiciously, waiting for them to settle down, "One moment Faylinn is listing about a hundred amazing qualities of some boy she likes, then I say that it's not possible for any man to be all that, and then the next thing I know, they share a look and burst out laughing!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded distinctly like 'women'.

Faylinn seemed to have recovered enough to talk, and she said, "Oh, sorry, Professor Lupin, it's just, well, you wouldn't understand."

"Oh," he replied, raising his eyebrows, smiling in a way to suggest he was up to the challenge, "Try me."

"I don't think that will be a good idea, Remus," said Rose as she stood up, "Faylinn, if you don't mind coming upstairs with me, I'd like a word. Remus, Sirius, excuse us."

Sirius eyes her curiously, "Hmm, you'd like a word? That's just your fancy way of saying that you know something we don't know and you're taking Faylinn to the side to try to get more gossip."

Rose pretended to look innocent and horrified by Sirius suggestions, "That you should accuse me of such atrocities, Sirius!" she exclaimed, placing her hands dramatically across her heart, "I do believe the sky shall be rent asunder!"

She stumbled out of the room, with a giggling Faylinn right behind her, leaving the two men behind, each with their eyebrows raised admirably high.

Rose hurried Faylinn upstairs in to her bedroom, closed the door and cast a silencing spell on it, just to make sure that Remus and Sirius wouldn't be able to hear.

"So," said Rose, raising an eyebrow, grinning knowingly at a sheepish looking Faylinn, who sat down on the edge of Rose's bed.

Faylinn sighed, "You figured it out, didn't you?"

"That you have a little crush on dear Professor Lupin? Yeh, I'd say I did," Rose replied good-naturedly.

"Damn, I knew I was being too obvious. He seemed pretty clueless, though, so you must be really sharp," said Faylinn, she did not look annoyed though, but a little embarrassed and uncertain.

"So how long has this been going on for?" Rose asked curiously.

"Er, since he taught me defence in seventh year, actually…" Faylinn admitted.

"What?" gasped Rose, "But that's like, almost three years ago, isn't it?"

"Yeh," she replied sighing deeply and looking a little sad, "I mean, I thought it was just a crush at first, but then it didn't go away like crushes usually do with time… so I think it must be more than a crush, but, like, it's not like I'm in love with him or anything, you know? Er, you don't mind, do you?"

"Mind what?"

"That I fancy him?" she asked uncertainly, "I mean, I know you went out with him for a few years when you were younger…"

"Oh!" Rose said in realisation, and gave out a small laugh, "Of course I don't mind, it's not like you can control these kinds of feelings… I don't blame you, I mean I was crazy about him myself when we were together. And it's not like your hitting on him or anything, anyway," she added jokingly, though secretly she marvelled at the fact that she really had no problem with Faylinn having feelings for Remus – she suspected it was because she was so much younger.

"Yeh, he's awesome. I just wish there were more men out there like him, maybe a little younger in age… How did you figure out it was him anyway?"

"Well, first you blushed and giggled in a way I thought was very uncharacteristic of you when he asked you to call him Remus, then you winked at him, and then you got all shy when he was asking you if you liked anyone, and you said there was an age gap. And just the way you described him – who else could it have been?"

"So you agree with the way I described him, then?" Faylinn asked hopefully, "I wasn't just exaggerating from bias, or whatever?"

"Nah, you were spot on, I'd say," said Rose kindly, "He really is all those things."

It was only after Rose spoke those words that she realised what she had just said. She had just admitted that she thought Remus was all those things – handsome, intelligent, witty, brave, caring, selfless, charming and who knew how many other things. She really had admitted it, something she would never have done only a few weeks ago. She smiled to herself, happily taking it as a sign of how far her friendship with Remus had developed.

* * *

**A/N Hope you liked it! Sorry about the delays, it's a hectic time of the year!**


	20. Hogsmeade

When Rose returned to the orphanage the following morning, she was met with a horrible sight that she knew she would not forget in a hurry. There had been blood. Everywhere. The grass and soil was covered in it, and as Rose ran inside, she found that the carpet was just as stained. She remembered how the blood had drained from her own face as she ran forward, in search of Remus. She knew he had not taken his wolfsbane as it would cause problems with the other wolves and the thought worried her.

To her immense relief, she had found him with everyone else in the main sitting room, bending over one of the younger werewolves and attending to his wounds. His normally light brown hair was so caked with blood that it looked almost black, though he seemed to have healed all his own wounds – Rose could see a new scar on his neck. He had not done a good job of it, and she knew it was because he looked like the living dead.

"Remus!" she had shouted, making him jump up in shock. The other werewolves (some of whom were asleep, others were lying on the floor moaning in pain) more or less ignored her.

"What? Is everything okay?" he asked, looking at her with exhausted, worried eyes.

"You're asking me? What do you think you're doing? Look at you! Go upstairs now, you need sleep!" she commanded.

"But I need to –" he started, indicating to the fresh wounds still spilling blood on those around him.

But Rose would not listen; she pushed him towards the door, commanding him to rest.

"I'll fix them up, I'll do a better job than you can anyway, I'm not half dead," she insisted.

"But Anabelle –" he said, protesting weakly.

"Remus," she said, more gently this time, "I'll take care of them, really, just go."

He looked like he was going to protest again, but Rose stepped forward and kissed him softly on he lips, silencing him.

He looked down at her in confusion. She smiled coyly.

"Just a little trick I picked up from a certain someone," she said, "Now go."

Finally, he turned away from her and stumbled upstairs, and Rose turned her attention to the rest of the werewolves. Some of them, like Amandus, would not let her touch them, but the others had been more than happy to receive her help.

"Guess I was wrong about you after all, huh?" said Artemis weakly, "You survived more than a week… most girls would have been running away hysterically by now, not staying to help."

But help is what Rose did. And it did not stop with healing them either – she had paid a quick trip to Diagon Alley and came back with all the ingredients for a potion that had the werewolves back on their feet in no time. This had won her even more friends, and even Amandus's right hand men and women had eyed the potion longingly; they did not dare drink it in front of him, though Rose had managed to sneak them some along with their pumpkin juice at lunch time.

What's more, after a short-lived, though rather loud argument with Remus, (admittedly, most of the noise had come from her side), she managed to convince him to allow her to make the wolfsbane potion for anyone who wanted to take it – which turned out to be everyone, even Amandus. Fortunately, she was rather skilled at potions, and so Rose spent much of the next 

month working on the potion, with a little help from some of the werewolves, including Lachlan, who, it turned out, had received an O for his Potions NEWT and was a great help.

Thanks to the Wolfsbane the next full moon was much calmer than the last. In fact, when Rose returned to the orphanage the following morning, though almost everyone was asleep and looked positively exhausted, there was not a spot of blood in sight. She was, to say the least, very pleased with her work. So pleased, in fact, that the following morning, when Remus was well and rested, she insisted that they go out to celebrate.

"Remind me again why we are doing this?" he asked for the hundredth time, as he sceptically watched Rose trying to decide between an elegant set of witches robes and a fashionable Muggle outfit.

"Because," she said distracted, no looking at him, "One, I want to celebrate my success with the Wolfsbane. Two, won't people get suspicious that you never take me on dates? Three, I'm bored of being stuck in this place for so long, I need to get out. Four, because I feel like it. Got that?"

"Got it," he sighed loudly, "Are you going to hurry up and choose an outfit already? It's only Hogsmeade, you know…"

"What do you think, muggle clothes, or robes?" she asked, holding up the outfits for him to choose.

He raised an eyebrow after considering them both, "I don't know – muggle clothes, I guess."

"Muggle clothes it is!" she agreed happily, "Now turn around while I get dressed, please."

Reus obliged, and even raised his hands to cover his eyes, while Rose slipped into a pair of dark denim, skinny leg jeans and a very warm, baby pink sweater.

"Can I look now?" Remus asked after a minute or so.

"No! Not yet – I just need to put an expanding charm on my jeans… they don't even fit anymore since I took that horrid fat potion."

A moment later –

"Okay, you can look now," Rose announced as she put on a pair of boots.

"Finally," Remus mumbled as he turned around.

There was a moment's silence during which Rose looked expectantly at Remus. He, however, seemed utterly oblivious of her expectations.

"Er, what?" he asked.

"Oh, come on, Remus, it can't be that long since your last date! A simply 'you look nice' wouldn't hurt. Even if it is a fake date," she teased.

"Oh," he replied, blushing slightly, "Er, well, you look nice, Rose."

Rose laughed as she took him by the arm and lead him out of the bedroom and down the stairs, "Come on, let's get going. I haven't had lunch at the Three Broomstick in years! Does Rosmerta still work there?"

If Remus remembered that the last time she had been to the Three Broomsticks was on a date with him, he did not show it.

"Yes, she actually owns that place now, though you probably wouldn't recognise her, she's changed a lot."

"Do you think she'll recognise me?" Rose asked.

"I doubt it, not with the disguise you've got now, and the fact that I'll be calling you Anabelle probably won't help much either."

"Aw, that's a shame. She was a really fun girl," Rose reflected, "Remember that time in fifth year she caught us sneaking out of the common room after hours? She was prefect then, oh, she let us get away with so much!"

"Yes," recalled Remus, a small smile playing at his lips, "She used to make me feel so guilty about it too, kept reminding me that as a prefect I should be more responsible."

"Yes, she undid all the hard work I put in to trying to get you to loosen up a bit," Rose said, biting back a smirk, "It'll be nice to see her again, even if she doesn't have a clue who I really am."

They reached the entrance hall, and Rose waited for a moment while Remus informed Charlotte that they were going out on a 'date'.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Lupin!" she heard Lachlan call out.

When Remus returned there was a slightly blush on his cheeks. Suppressing a smile, Rose held out her hand for Remus to take, and he led her outside of the gates. They apparated together, aiming for the middle of the main street in Hogsmeade.

As soon as the squeezing sensation that was typical of apparating had passed, Rose opened her eyes. Her first impression was that they had arrived at the wrong place – they were surrounded by people, and Hogsmeade was certainly never this full. But a moment later, after having a quick look around, Rose realised that they were Hogwarts students.

"Oh!" she exclaimed excitedly, "It's a Hogsmeade weekend, how exciting – what's wrong, Remus?"

She was startled by the look on his face – he had just been smiling a moment ago, though now he looked almost horrified.

"Let's go," he demanded hoarsely, his grip on her arm tightening and his eyes fixed on her own.

Rose noticed he was determinedly not looking at anyone other than her.

"Remus, what's going on – ouch, loosen your grip, will you, you're hurting me!" she exclaimed loudly, though she regretted it immediately when she noticed that students were looking at them curiously.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, and he loosened his grip, "Can we go, please?"

He was such sincerity in the pleading look he gave her that she was tempted to give in – but she had her mind set on having a good time away from the orphanage, and she was not about to give up.

"Why though?" she asked, watching him incredulously, and then, suddenly, it hit her, "Your students?"

She looked around at the students surrounding them. Some were looking at them – or rather, she realised now, at Remus – with interest, some looked excited, though some looked apprehensive, and yet others seemed down right appalled. Finally, she understood his discomfort.

"You haven't spoken to them, have you?" she asked softly, "Since they've found out what you are?"

Remus grimaced and closed his eyes, "No. Can we go now?"

"No."

"What?" he asked, his eyes flying open in surprise.

"No," she repeated, patting his arm comfortingly, "Come on, Remus, you can't run away from them, or from your fears. Look, some of them even look like they want to talk to you!"

At that moment, a couple of Ravenclaw girls who looked to be in their fourth or fifth year stepped forward excitedly.

"Hello, Professor Lupin!" they said.

Remus smiled reminiscently, "Hello, Adelaide, Nyomi. It's good to see you girls again."

"Yeh, it's been too long," said the taller, dark hair girl earnestly, "All the DADA Professors we've had since you left have been horrible! Especially Umbridge" – the girls grimaced simultaneously – "We've missed you so much."

"Why are you here, anyway? You're not back to reclaim your post, are you?" the other girl asked, her eyes wide with expectation.

"No, no, nothing like that," he said hastily, though he looked thoroughly amused, "I'm here on a, well, er, I mean to say –"

Remus looked over at Rose for help, who had moved back slightly to allow him to have a word with his former students. Rose noticed the two girls looking back and forth between herself and Remus expectantly, and so she stepped forward, deciding it was time for her to take over the conversation and to speak the words that Remus seemed to have trouble formulating.

"We're here on a date," she explained.

The taller girls eyes flew wide open in surprise, while the other girl let out a low giggle.

"Really, Professor?" she asked, turning her gleeful gaze to her now blushing former Professor.

Remus, looking very flustered, cleared his throat pointedly and avoided looking at the two girls when he said, "Er, yes, that's right."

"Obviously, we hadn't realised it would be so crowed here with students, or else we would have chosen another day," Rose said, as she struggled to keep her amusement out of her voice, "I'm Anabelle Elizabeth Jean, by the way," she added, extending her hand, which the girls shook.

"Nice to meet you, Anabelle," said the taller girl, Adelaide, "Well, I guess we'd better get going. Er, have _fun_ on your date, Professor."

Rose watched as the giggling girls walked away, "There was definitely too much emphasis in the way she said fun for my liking…"

"Oh my God, I think I'm going to die from embarrassment," Remus said, looking extremely flustered, "Did you _really_ have to tell them we were on a date?"

"Well, we are!" said Rose defensively, "Or at least, we're pretending we are, now come on, it's cold out here, let's go to the Three Broomsticks."

Remus seemed very reluctant to comply and Rose had to nudge him a few times before he would walk.

"You're _sure_ you don't want to just go back?" he asked again.

"Yep," she said happily, "Come on, Remus, their just kids! Oh look, those girls look like they want to talk to you too!"

"Where?" he gasped, as though Rose had just told him the Death Eaters were on their way.

Rose suspected he wanted to hide, but before he could, he was ambushed by a group of four Gryffindor girls who looked to be in their seventh year.

Rose hung back while Remus chatted with the girls, and no sooner than he had said good bye to them, another group of girls approached him, and then, yet another group. One thing that did not escape Rose's notice was that they all seemed awfully excited to see him. Some, much to her surprise, were even flirting with him. In fact, one of the older girls was getting so far ahead of herself that Rose could not help but step forward and introduce herself as his girlfriend. That had promptly wiped the smiles from a number of faces.

Remus, of course, seemed blissfully oblivious to the flirting – he could be so blind sometimes.

When the last group of girls had finally moved off, Remus was smiling – a true, genuine smile that made his eyes twinkle.

"What?" Rose asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Huh?" replied Remus, looking at her in surprise.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm just glad that they, you know, still wanted to talk to me," he admitted as he rubbed his cold hands together in an attempt to warm them up, "Come on, let's go inside, it's freezing out here."

Rose followed him towards the Three Broomsticks, his new found confidence not overlooked.

Hogsmeade had not changed much since the last time she had been there – there was a new shop or two, but for the most part, the village was more or less the same. It felt strange for her to be here with Remus again. Back when she had been a student, every Hogsmeade trip – except for her first – had been used as chance for her and Remus to go out on a date. And here they were again, on a pseudo-date; it bought back memories, though Rose was glad that she managed to keep her emotions in check. She and Remus were finally friends again and she could enjoy that without feeling awkward or hurt.

If the streets of Hogsmeade had been filled with students, it was nothing to the crowd currently haunting the Three Broomsticks. There was hardly enough room to walk. Rose noticed that here too, students were looking at herself and Remus with interest.

"Er, look," she said to Remus, who had once again found himself the centre of attention of a new gaggle of students, "I'll get the drinks, you meet me at the back of the bar, there's a few empty seats back there."

"What?" he said distractedly, looking away from the students who all seemed to be talking at the same time, "Oh, right, I'll just be a minute."

"Or ten," Rose muttered under her breathe as she walked towards the counter. She noticed a few curious students watching her.

"Popular one, isn't he?"

Startled, Rose turned to her right to see a young, dark haired witch sitting by the counter, smirking in Remus' direction… Rose was certain she'd never seen the witch before, but that was something oddly familiar about her.

"Sorry?" she said, taken aback, "Oh, popular, yeh, seems he is. A bit creepy though, if you know what I mean. Students shouldn't be giving a former teacher _that_ kind of attention."

The woman laughed. Rose starred at her suspiciously, she _knew_ that laugh. And then it hit her.

"Tonks?" she asked incredulously.

The woman laughed again, her dark eyes twinkling.

"Yeh, it's me, didn't expect you to realise to quickly though."

"What are you doing here?" Rose asked as she ordered her drinks from a woman she immediately recognised as Madam Rosmerta.

"I just finished my watch on Harry," she replied, lowering her voice so no one over hears, "I thought I'd have a butterbeer to warm me up before I leave."

"Oh, fair enough. Care to join Remus and me?" Rose offered as she accepted her drinks from the bar-maid, "We're on a 'date', but really we just wanted to spend some time away from You-Know-Where. Well, actually, I wanted to get away, I had to practically drag Remus here…"

Tonks looked uncomfortable with the offer and bit her lip, "Well, I really don't want to be intruding…"

Rose laughed, "Intruding? On what? Our date? You know it's a façade. We're just friends."

"Well, okay," agreed Tonks, looking considerably brighter.

The two women made their way to the back of the bar where they only just managed to find a spare table, and chatted lightly before Remus joined them – a good fifteen minutes later.

"Er, hello," he said uncertainly to Tonks as he sat down next to Rose, "I'm Remus Lupin."

"Mary Summers," replied Tonks promptly, extending a hand, "Pleasure to meet you."

Remus looked politely bewildered as he shook her hand.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, sorry" he said, blushing slightly, "It's just that you sound exactly like someone I know… in fact…" his voice trailed off, a look of realisation spread across his face.

It was too much for Rose; she burst out laughing.

"It's Tonks, isn't it?" Remus asked frankly, shaking his head.

"Aw, man! I didn't know my cover was so useless!" Tonks pouted, "I really should do something about my voice, I think."

"Yeh, it's a bit of a give away, sorry Tonks," Remus admitted, patting her hand reassuringly.

"So, anyway," Tonks said slowly, "Who's Mr Popular with the ladies then?"

"What?" said Remus in surprise, "Who? Me?"

"Who else? Did you see the way those girls were flirting with you? Wow, you've think they'd realise you were old enough to be their dad."

Remus looked aghast, "They were not flirting with me! They were talking, joking around a little – they _were_ my students, you know."

Tonks snorted while Rose tutted amusedly, "Men," they both said.

"You're _so_ blind, sometimes Remus," Tonks muttered emphatically, rolling her eyes.

"I am _not_," he said defensively, "And as you said, I'm old enough to be their father – why on earth would they flirt with _me_?"

"Maybe they think you'd make a good looking father to their own kids?" Tonks said, winking playfully.

Rose could not help but notice she was being almost as flirtatious as some of the students had been.

"Wow, that's a disturbing though."

It was not Remus who said that, but Rose.

"Thank you, Anabelle, my point exactly," he said, looking relieved.

"But you can't deny that they were flirting with you," Rose added, making Remus groan.

"Okay, okay, enough about that… I'm just glad they were so accepting, actually," he admitted.

"Of course they would be, Remus, you taught them for a whole year, they had more than enough time to realise what a great person you are, lycanthrope or not," said Tonks, her expression surprisingly serious considering how playful she had been just a moment ago.

"Thanks," replied Remus, smiling sincerely at her.

Rose could not help but notice how rarely his smiles were ever _that_ sincere, and, to her great confusion, she found herself wishing that it was her, not Tonks, at the receiving end.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! At this stage I'd like to have a few questions answered, if you don't mind. It would really help me with the rest of the fic.  
**

**1. Do you think the story is dragging too much? Do you find some parts of the story to be pointless or irrelevant?**

**2. Is there not enough Remus?!**

**3. Is too long?**

**4. Do you find that there is enough humour in it?**

**5. Are my characters in character or am I getting them totally wrong? (E.g. Remus/Tonks/Sirius etc).**


	21. Lachlan

"Are you okay, Rose?"

"Huh?" she replied, removing her gaze away from her bed post, where it had been fixed, to look at Remus, who had just entered the room, only to realise he was looking at her with an odd, curious expression.

"Er, I asked if you're okay?" he repeated, his head cocked to the side as he examined her.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Because," he said slowly, still watching her shrewdly, "I've been standing in the door way for almost two minutes and the whole time you've had your gaze fixed on your bed post."

"Oh," replied Rose, forcing herself to smile, "It's nothing, I've just been a bit out of it since yesterday, you know, it was a tiring day at Hogsmeade."

"You're sure there's nothing wrong?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine, Remus, stop worrying," she pressed, smiling all the more widely just to convince him.

She was flattered by his concern, though it truly was the worst moment he could have chosen to display his sensitive side.

"Well, okay," he said, looking some what convinced, "Anyway, I just came up stairs to tell you that Charlottes cooked up some stuff for breakfast, if you're hungry."

"Thanks, I'll there in a minute."

Rose watched as he turned away to leave, closing the door behind him, and as soon as it was safe, she collapsed down on to her bed with a groan.

He had noticed. He had noticed something was bothering her. She was not, as she had told him, tired from yesterday's trip. Her distraction had every thing to do with that stray thought that had crossed her mind the previous day. She had wished that he was smiling at her, with that sincere smile of his. Why on earth had she had such a thought? And why had she longed for it so strongly?

Rose had no answers for these questions but they had been bothering her ever since – she did not like Remus Lupin in _that_ way. She was certain about that; it was as obvious as the fact that she is part veela or that Remus is a werewolf. A cold, hard undeniable fact of life.

Or at least, that is what she told herself.

After a quick shower, she made her way down stairs to the main sitting room (they did not have a dining table big enough for everyone, so they had breakfast, lunch and dinner sprawled all over the floor and couches). She had expected the typical breakfast scene – Remus sitting on the floor, enjoying his breakfast with Lachlan and Artemis, and occasionally Julian, Clive and Finley – though the scene that was presented before her when she entered the room took her completely by surprise.

Remus was indeed seated on the floor, however he was not eating. Instead he, along with almost everyone else in the room was watching a very heated argument between Lachlan, who was leaning tensely against the wall next to Remus, and Amandus, who was seating at the edge of his seat with his usual group of followers.

"And I say you are _wrong,_" Lachlan said firmly, his arms folded some what menacingly across his chest.

"Oh, yeh?" Amandus growled, his eyes narrowed dangerously at Lachlan, "And why is that?"

"Why?" Lachlan repeated incredulously, "Do you really need me to explain why I think it would be horrible if more people were to be bitten by werewolves?"

"Why, yes, I think I do," he sneered back at him.

Rose watched, her mouth hanging slightly open as the conversation progressed. It was the first time she had ever witnessed a conversation of this kind happening so openly. Surely, it was a testament to the subtle work that Remus had been doing. She did find herself feeling very uncomfortable though, being the only non-werewolf present, and so she was glad that no one had noticed her arrival.

"How, Amandus, how can you possibly want to inflict something like this on to any other human?" he said, his disgust evident, "It isn't _fun_ being a werewolf – the transformation alone hurts like hell, then there's the fact that you don't even know what you're doing while you're a dangerous beast, you could kill _anyone_, your own mother, your brother, your best friend. It makes us age faster, and almost everyone in the wider Wizarding community rejects us, are scared of us. They even hate us."

"Exactly," roared Amandus, slamming his fist down hard on to the table, Rose though he looked rather deranged, "Exactly! How dare they treat us like dirt? Like lower class rejects? The nerve of them! That's why they deserve to be bitten, so they can see exactly how it feels like to be rejected by your own family and friends, to become social outcasts!"

"Hear, hear!" cheered Jane, one of Amandus' right hand women. A number of other people nodded their head in agreement, though many others snorted with disgust.

Lachlan shook his head, frowning in displeasure, "That's not going to solve anything. That isn't going to make them like us, or respect us. It will just give them more reason to be scared and make this place get over crowded. What we need is for people to know that we are just ordinary people at the end of the day and for them to just accept us."

Amandus jumped up from his seat angrily. Rose's hand automatically reached for her wand, and she saw Remus' hand move towards the pocket of his robes, but Amandus did not seem intent on getting physical.

"Acceptance?" he bellowed contemptuously, "I don't need acceptance from them! THEY TREAT US LIKE SCUM!"

"But –"

"They can rot in hell for all I care, or even better yet, rot in here with the rest of us!"

And with that he turned suddenly towards the door and stormed across the room. Incredibly, he became even angrier and he growled in a way that Rose would expect from a transformed werewolf, not a fully frown man.

"Out of the way, you stupid Australian!" he snapped gruffly.

Rose tighten her grip on her wand as she stepped out of his way, but she was not fast enough, and so he raised a hand and toughly pushed her out of the way with such force that she fell backwards on to the hard floor, hitting her elbow rather painfully.

"Hey!" she cried angrily from the floor, but it was pointless, he was already gone.

"Are you okay, Anabelle?"

Remus' panicked voice filled her ears, and she looked up to see him standing over her, his hand out stretched for her to take. She accepted it and let him pull her to her feet. She noticed that he did not let go of her wrist and that he was holding it rather tightly.

"I'm fine," she muttered, rubbing her elbow with her arm where it had hit the floor, "What is his problem, seriously?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, ignoring her question, this time Rose noticed the indignation in his voice and the worry in his eyes.

"I said I'm fine, why?" she asked, taken-aback.

"He pushed you!" he exclaimed, pulling her closer towards him, "How dare he even _touch_ you? He better not show his face here any time soon or else he'll have a good hex or two coming his way."

If Rose had not known better, she would have said that Remus was simply living up to his role and her pseudo-boyfriend, but even _he_ could not act this well.

"Remus, what's gotten into you? Why are you so mad?"

"He isn't the only one," Lachlan said as he approached them. He, too, sounded very angry, "Amandus had no right to push you like that. Man, if I just had a wand…"

His voice trailed off as he massaged his knuckles threatening.

"Er, jee, thanks guys," said Rose, surprised and flattered by their anger on her behalf, especially Lachlan's, "But seriously, I can take care of myself. I mean, he doesn't even have a wand. Anyway, Remus, dear, I feel like having breakfast upstairs, join me?"

Remus nodded and, with out her even having to ask, collected some food for her and they made their way up stairs.

Rose sat down on her bed and Remus set the food down next to her. She noticed that Remus was still looking angry. She reached out and took his hand as he was made to move away.

"Remus, seriously, _relax_," she said, "I'm fine, it was just a push."

Remus sighed and brushed his fringe out of his eyes, "I was just worried," he said softly, "He shouldn't have hurt you."

"I know, but he did, it was just a push, it's not the end of the world," she said smiling reassuringly, all the while feeling very pleased with his defensiveness on her behalf, "So, anyway, what did you think of Lachlan back then? He's sure come a long way, hasn't he?"

At this, Remus actually smiled as he sat down on his mattress, "Yes, wasn't he brilliant? I'm so impressed. When I first started out here he was really uncertain and nor confident in voicing his views on this issue at all, and now he's adamantly defending himself against Amandus of all people – it's remarkable."

"Yeh, it is. Has anyone else come along this far?"

"No," he said, shaking his head, though still smiling, "But some are doing really well. I'm confident Artemis will come round sooner or later, Julian and Clive are doing great too, they are just a little bitter, though I can hardly blame them, considering what they go through every day."

Rose nodded sadly, "I know, it's so amazing the way they kind of just get on with it all and enjoy themselves, I guess the mini-beach helps with that. I mean, if I weren't with you on Order business and if I thought I'd be stuck here for a long time, I would got mad after the first week or so. I mean, really, how depressing. It's pathetic that they are stuck in this place."

"Exactly," he said, a little more bitterly now, "That's why I've never given up… I could never live here."

Rose bit her lip – her heart went out to him. He did not deserve this, he had suffered so much, had been treated so badly, and yet he was a wonderful person. This must be why I wanted him to smile at me yesterday, she thought to herself, he's such a good friends, and that's what friends want from each other, isn't it?

"Anyway, about Lachlan, I was thinking of telling him about Voldemort and inviting him to the Order. What do you think?"

"What?" said Rose, snapping out of her thoughts, "Tell him, really? You're sure?"

"Pretty sure, you saw him just then," he said, grinning, "Merlin, can that man argue! He can become an Order member and then he can help me try to change the mentality of the rest of them. It would be a great help."

"But what if he gets mad? What if he takes offence to us? Thinks we are double-agents or something? And we've been lying to them all. I mean, obviously, we couldn't just come clean and tell them all Voldemort is back so make your pick, that would never work, they'd never have accepted you amongst them if they knew why you were here – but will Lachlan understand that?"

"Lachlan is smart – he's old enough to have lived through the first war and to understand why this is so important and why we can't have just told them about Voldemort – I mean, really, the Ministry is still denying it. But he won't hold it against us, I'm certain."

"Well, I don't know, you know him better than I do, I guess," Rose replied uncertainly, "Maybe you should ask Dumbledore first?"

"Well, of course, I wouldn't do anything that major without consulting Dumbledore, though the thing is, I can't really contact him, I mean we just went out yesterday, we can't do it too often."

"True. Tonks mentioned there's a meeting this Saturday though, why don't we both go to that? You can tell him then."

"Oh, yes, that's right. Well," he said, smiling playfully, "I guess it's a _date_."

Rose sighed light-heartedly, "Oh, joy! A date at Grimmauld place. I can hardly contain my excitement!"

Remus laughed, Rose joining him soon after, though neither of them realised that deep down, Rose had meant every word of it.


	22. Secret Identities

The week past, and sooner than she expected, Rose found herself and Remus crossing the threshold of Grimmauld place, both of them relived to be away from the increasing tension that hung in the air at the orphanage since the fight, and both exceptionally eager to see their friend.

Sirius was not coping well. Rose saw it clearly in her last stay at Grimmauld place just over a week ago. He spent much time worrying about Harry and brooding over his lack of usefulness to the Order. He had been that way when she left for the orphanage the first time, but it seemed to have increased in intensity since then.

It was for that reason that Rose was extremely surprised to see Sirius smiling, as happy as can be when she and Remus entered the kitchen.

"Someone's happy," Rose said, raising an eyebrow enquiringly, but smiling nonetheless.

"Rose! Remus!" he exclaimed, looking up at them in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"We came for the meeting, though I see we're a little early," said Remus, indicating at the mess that covered the kitchen table, "No ones here yet, then?"

"Not a soul," said Sirius, waving a hand impatiently as if it was of little importance.

Rose realised that he looked excited about something, and sure enough, as soon as she and Remus had sat down across him, he pulled out a magazine from amongst the mess and handed it over for them to see.

Remus took it inquisitively, and Rose saw his eyes widen as he took in the cover. Curious, Rose leaned in closer so she can see, and Remus held out the magazine between them, so she could see.

"But that's Harry!" she exclaimed, "What on earth…?" she lifted her eyes up to Sirius questioningly as Remus flicked through the magazine in search of the relevant article.

"Harry gave an interview about what happened when Voldemort returned," Sirius said proudly, his smile widening, "It incredible, absolutely incredible, and rather accurate too seeing as how its written by Skeeter and published in The Quibbler, of all things!"

"An interview?" murmured Rose, her eyes wide with surprise, "But that's a very private thing to share, isn't it?"

"Yep," Sirius bragged, "And he pulled it off brilliantly. He's a brave boy, Harry. Just like this father."

"Go on, Remus, read it out loud," Rose requested, and Remus gracefully complied and by the time he had finished reading, the three of them were beaming at the magazine, though Rose with tears in her eyes.

"He's been through so much," Rose said, quickly wiping away at her tears, "And he's only fifteen! When I was his age I was such an air head, the only things I ever had to worry about was how to get Jessica to stop bullying me and why Remus wouldn't go out with me. And he's already seen a peer of his killed by the Voldemort."

Remus patted her gently on the shoulder. It was a simple gesture, but it reassured her.

"Harry is made of stronger stuff than most people," he said, "I saw that in him when I taught him."

When the Order members started arriving for the meeting the only topic on anyones lips was the article, which, it turned out, had only been released that morning. Tonks brought news from the Ministry that Umbridge had a decree passed forbidding students from possessing the issue, but as Remus had pointed out, that would only be an advantage as banning it was the best way to make sure every student in the castle actually read it. Rose only hoped that as well as reading it, they would believe in what it said – that Voldemort was truly back.

Later that evening, during the meeting, Remus gave a short speech about the progress they had been making with the werewolves and presented his case about Lachlan.

"Lachlan?" asked McGonagall, looking startled, "The Lachlan Sutherland of Ravenclaw? I wasn't aware that he was infected."

Rose looked up sharply at the mention of Lachlan's full name. Sutherland? Why did that sound so familiar, she wondered.

"The very same," replied Remus grimly, "His own mother is unaware."

Rose looked over at Sirius, who had leaned forward in his chair, looking at Remus with a frown across his face.

"Hold on, do you mean _Lochie_? That Ravenclaw chaser, a year below us? The one who got into a fight in the middle of breakfast so he could ask Rose out to Hogsmeade before that other kid could?"

"Oh my God," Rose exclaimed under her breath, she started at Remus, her eyes open wide as images of the youthful face crept back to her.

"Yes, Sirius, him," said Remus, his expression unreadable.

Rose sat back in her chair, letting the ensuing conversation drown out. She remembered him. Lachlan Sutherland, also known as Lochie to his friends, and Lochie Long Legs to Sirius and James. She was shocked – how could she not have realised it was him? And why had Remus not told her? Oh, poor Lachlan, she thought miserably, infected by a werewolf. She had felt sorry for him even when he was a stranger, but knowing know that he was the young boy who had been at Hogwarts at her time, who had had a silly school boy crush on her for the best part of two years, it just hit so much closer to home. He had been so bright, so talented, and what had it amounted to? His talent was left unharvested as he weathered away at the orphanage.

"…in that case, Remus, I suggest you continue to monitor him for the next few weeks, question him even further, and report back to me at the first meeting after the next full moon. We shall make our decision then," said Dumbledore as Remus took his seat.

Rose could hardly contain herself from interrogating Remus while Severus Snape gave his speech, made all the more harder by the fact that he was seated right next to her and that if they tried hard enough, they could surely carry a hushed conversation without being noticed. But Rose knew Remus would not oblige, out of respect for the speaker (even if it _was_ Severus). And so she only just managed to hold her silence until a nanosecond or so after Dumbledore dismissed them.

"Why didn't you tell me it was him?" she insisted, startling Remus by the way she had spoken immediately, and unexpectedly rounded on him.

"Who?" he asked, looking incredulous.

"Lachlan! Lochie! _Lochie Long Legs_!" she cried, "How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me it was him?"

"I – I don't know, it didn't cross my mind," he said still looking startled.

"How could it have not crossed your mind?" she reproached him.

"Well, it just didn't," he said defensively, "I meet him ages ago, and yes I obviously realised it was him, but it had been over a decade since we'd last seen each other, and it's not like I even knew him well at Hogwarts, I didn't think of him as Lochie, just Lachlan."

"But why didn't you tell me?" she repeated.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?" he retaliated, "You used to avoid him like the plague, the way he used to stare at you –"

"_I_ used to avoid him? I only avoided him because you got all insecure and paranoid every time he spoke to me! He was a nice enough kid, it's not like I hated him or anything."

"That's not true, you couldn't stand him –"

"No, Remus, _you_ couldn't stand him –"

" – and you said nothing at all when Sirius hexed him those few times –"

"But you're the one who hinted at Sirius that he should hex him in the first place!"

"So what?" he exclaimed, stepping out of his seat and looking incredibly flustered, "What are you trying to say? That I didn't tell you who he was because of some silly childhood misunderstanding? Or because I'm too _insecure_, as you so charmingly put it? Or maybe I'm just so paranoid that I expect you to run off with him the first chance you get?"

Rose gawped at him in shock, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to speak but could not think of any words to say. She saw Tonks step forward from behind Remus and put a calming hand on his shoulder. He almost jumped as she touched him – apparently he, like herself, had forgotten that others could hear every word they had spoken. He looked down at her and she spoke what Rose assumed must have been words of comfort, for she could not hear them, but the tension did seem to leave his body. Rose felt a hand patting her own shoulder and looked around to see Sirius giving her a reassuring, if slightly bemused look.

Rose turned back to Remus, finally finding her voice.

"I'm sorry Remus," she said softly, "I didn't mean to imply that. I – I was just surprised that you didn't tell me. I wasn't hinting at anything, really."

Remus shook his head, sitting down in his seat again, though offering her a weak, confused smile, "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have accused you like that. You just caught me off guard."

Rose nodded in acceptance and returned a weak smile, though part of her wondered whether there was something else that had sparked the reaction, something he was keeping hidden. She did not pursue the matter though. She very much liked being on good speaking terms with Remus and enjoyed his company – she did not want to say anything that might upset him again.

Rose and Remus remained a while longer at Grimmauld place – Molly had cooked up a wonderful meal that had tempted them to stay. She passed the evening away in conversation with Sirius, Faylinn and Molly, while Remus conversed with Tonks and Arthur (a rather lively – thanks to Tonks – conversation about happenings at the Ministry and Arthurs obsession with everything muggle). She noticed that Remus was perfectly cheerful again, and was almost as lively as Tonks. She was glad, because even though she did not think it was her fault, she could not help but feel some responsibility for the way Remus had been offended earlier.

Soon though, it was time to leave, and Rose and Remus found themselves at the gates of the orphanage.

"Some date that had been, huh?" commented Rose, "We didn't even spend the evening together."

"That's alright," replied Remus sleepily, "I'll still be sure to tell Artemis about how _romantic_ it was. She does seem to ask about our dates rather often, have you noticed that? Ah, well, we were in the same room, I suppose that's good enough to pass as a date, isn't it?"

"Better than nothing," Rose admitted honestly, and she slipped her hand in to his as they made their way back inside.

* * *

**A big thanks to everyone who answered my feedback questions!**


	23. When Reality Strikes

Rose liked to think that she was a patient person

Rose liked to think that she was a patient person. The hardships she had endured in life had seen to that. But her patience was tested sorely over the following few weeks at the orphanage – hard as she tried, it was a good couple of weeks before she finally found herself alone with Lachlan. She could hardly request to be alone with him, given the way they believed her to be dating Remus, and so she waited patiently for the moment when she would find herself alone with him to arise, and, finally, when she could hardly contain her curiosity much longer, the moment presented itself, and she found herself in the kitchen preparing a late breakfast and Lachlan munching away at his own belated meal.

"So, Lachlan," she said slowly, "Tell me, you can't be older than thirty-three, can you?"

If Lachlan was surprised by the apparently random question, he did not show it.

"Thirty four actually, though I'd say I look a little older than my age," he replied good-naturedly.

"Thirty four?" she replied, feinting surprise, "And you went to Hogwarts didn't you?"

"Yep."

"But that means you must have known Remus from your Hogwarts days, right? I mean, he's hardly a year or so older than you!" she recited, a statement she had rehearsed over and over during the days that she had waited for this moment.

"Yeh, I did, actually," he said, looking surprised, "Didn't he tell you? I thought he must have."

"No, he didn't," Rose replied, trying her best to sound regretful, "He's remarkably guarded about his past, I've noticed, and well – I hope you don't mind me asking, and I'm only asking because I can't get an answer out of him myself – well, what I'm trying to say, is, can you tell me about, you know, his love life, during Hogwarts? I mean I've heard my friend mention something about some girl he apparently dated at Hogwarts, but Remus won't tell me a thing about it!"

"Oh, yeh he had a girlfriend alright," Lachlan replied, with a reminiscent edge to his voice, "Rose Wilson, she was quite a girl."

"Oh, really?" Rose replied, with no need to feint the satisfaction in her voice, because it can as naturally as she could have hoped, now that the conversation had taken the path she had hoped for, "Can you tell me a little bit about her?"

"Sure, I don't see why not. I'll tell you right up, she was part veela. I forgot how much blood she had, but I think it was her mothers grandmother, or something like that, anyway. That's something huh? I think most of the schools population was always wondering why she ever went for him. I mean, don't get me wrong, Anabelle," he added hastily, obviously aware that he had come close to insulting her boyfriend, "He's was a nice guy and all, and pretty popular too, but he was hardly the best looking guy around, and there was no shortage of guys who were literally drooling all over her –"

Like yourself, Rose thought, somewhat bitterly, for she was disappointed by the shallowness of how he spoke about her.

"– but she went for Lupin, well, it was strange, to most people anyway. I didn't think so," he said, after pausing for a moment, and Rose dared to let herself belief that he might just redeem himself, "Nah, I knew that just because she was a veela, doesn't mean she was shallow, or only cared about silly things like looks or popularity, or how well he handled a broom. She was smart – extremely smart, and kind. And for someone so beautiful, she was just so modest, as un-stuck-up as a person can be. It was amazing."

There was a moments silence, as Rose contemplated his words and he looked out the window, apparently lost in thought.

"Did you like her?" Rose asked.

"Sorry?" he asked sharply.

"I mean," she started hesitantly, "You speak so highly of her, I just wondered, if you ever…?"

Rose paused, letting the question hang in the air between them. Lachlan smiled understandingly.

"I'd be a liar if I said I didn't. I wasn't much different to the rest though, I only liked her because of how gorgeous she was. Well, that was at the start anyway. I got to know her a little better in her sixth year, and my fifth through a tutoring program – I mean, hey, I was a Ravenclaw, but I just could not get DADA into my head with that horrible teacher we had – and well, during that I kind of realised how much more she is that just a pretty face. I got to see her for who she really was, and it only made me like her even more. Lupin didn't like that much, mind you," he added with a chuckle, "He was so protective of her, and well, can you blame him? Er, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with _you_," he added quickly, "I mean, they broke up ages ago, it's not like you should feel jealous or anything."

Rose laughed, "Oh, no it's fine, Lachlan, I'm not the jealous type, I was just curious, that's all, and I think you've satisfied that very much."

"So, what about you then, do you think Lupin is your true love, or what?" he asked daringly.

"I don't believe in love," Rose replied, almost automatically, and it was not until Lachlan raised his eyebrows that she realised that she had just said, and she clasped her hands to her mouth in horror, eyes wide.

"I take it I wasn't meant to here that?" he asked craftily, raising an eyebrow.

"I – I mean, it just slipped out," she said apologetically.

Inwardly she cursed herself – she could she parade about as Lupins girlfriend now if Lachlan knew she did not believe in love? Would he, perhaps, think that she was playing with him, that this was just a game.

"Why don't you believe, how can you _not_ believe, in love, of all things?" he asked in a tone that suggested he was having trouble grasping the idea.

She simply shook her head. She was not going go in to that story, not with him.

"But I don't understand, I mean, if you don't believe in love, why are you going out with Lupin?"

"I – I –" she searched desperately for an answer, "It's just that, he's different."

"How so?"

Rose suppressed a gulp, "I mean, well, I'd rather not go in to it, but let's just say, if anyone ever had the chance to show me that love is real, it's him."

Rose smiled at Lachlan – she hoped that he would take it as a reassuring kind of sign, even though she inwardly meant it was a smile of success, proud of the excuse she had come up with.

Lachlan seemed entirely satisfied with that answer. Rose tried not to feel bad for lying to him, but then, she reasoned, was it really a lie? Surely it was reasonable to believe that if any person did stand a chance of restoring her belief in love, it would be he who wronged her in the first place? She shook the thoughts out of her head. There was no point pondering it, she was just as likely to fall in love with Remus as she was to believe in love. A very low chance indeed.

* * *

Later that night, Rose decided she was confident – or perhaps foolhardy, she wasn't sure yet – enough to raise the issue of Lachlan with Remus again. Remus was sitting on his matress, absorbed in some advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts book (one of Rose's – she had let him borrow it), as he usually did before sleeping. Rose lay down in her own bed, watching him curiously.

"Remus?" Rose asked.

"Mmm?" he replied, not looking up from his book.

"You do like Lachlan, don't you?"

He looked up from his book, his expression half way between exasperation and a frown.

"Of course I do. Why do you even have to ask that?"

"I mean, well," she said quickly, "You can't deny that you were a little paranoid around Lachlan at school."

"Well, I imagine any teenager would be apprehensive of someone who was obsessed with his girlfriend," he said defensively.

"Why though?" she asked, playing dumb so that she could get him to talk.

"Why what? Why would I be paranoid?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Rose nodded in reply.

"I – I mean, I was worried, what if you liked him better? He was more handsome, and he wasn't a werewolf at that time."

"You knew I only had eyes for you though," she said, feeling suddenly awkward. She wondered why her heart was racing, and why her lips suddenly felt so dry, "Anyway, it doesn't matter, I was just wondering. Go back to your book," she said quickly, perhaps too quickly, for Remus looked at her inquisitively before reluctantly returning to his book.

In the silence that ensued, there was nothing to distract her from her thoughts, from feeling, beat after beat, the drumming of her heart as it slowly resumed its normal pace. She had realised. She had realised why, that night at Grimmauld place, she had been upset when Remus had been offended by her words. She realised why she had not wanted to press the issue with him, why she had been glad to see him talking happily again with Tonks and Arthur.

She realised that she was falling for him. Again.

She did not like this realisation. She did not like it all.

I do not love him, she repeated to herself, over and over again. There is no such thing as love. Whatever she felt for him, it was not love. Lust, maybe. Or perhaps something in between lust and love that was not really either of them.

She slipped quietly under her covers, her head resting softly on her pillow, her back to the man who currently occupied her thoughts. She attempted to look casual, but Remus seemed to notice something was a miss.

"Rose?" he asked tentatively, after a few moments.

But she feinted soft, regular breathing, her eyes closed, hoping he would think her to be asleep. A moment later, she heard him extinguish the lamps, and slip quietly in to bed, and she was again, much to her regret, alone with her thoughts.

* * *

**Well she finally realised! :D Reviews please!**


	24. Goodbyes

"I –"

Splash.

" – am –"

Splash.

" – so –"

Splash.

" – _bloody_ –"

Splash.

" – stupid."

Splash.

Rose watched as the last rock landed spectacularly in the dirty lake water, scaring away the small fish swimming around it.

She sighed. It was no good. No amount of rock throwing was going to help relieve her tension. She had been doing it on and off over the last few hours, and she felt just like she had when she first woke up that morning – like she had not slept at all. Like she had undone everything that had happened these past months. Like she had betrayed herself.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me," she muttered, as she stumbled back towards the enchanted area of the lake and sat down on the warm sand.

How can I let myself feel like this, she thought to herself, after he hurt me so much, I let myself fall for him again? And for what? To be rejected? To be hurt again?

She punched the sand in frustration.

"Damn it! Damn it, damn it, _damn it_."

"Damn what?"

"Remus!"

Rose turned around sharply, only to see him standing behind her, looking half way between amusement and worry.

"What are you doing here?" she asked accusingly.

He shrugged, "I could ask you the same question. Charlotte said she saw you make your way out here at sunrise. It's been four hours since then."

He sat down next to her on the sand, and for a moment, they both simply watched the water in a peaceful silence that utterly contradicted the storm raging inside her.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, finally, turning to look at her.

Rose did not look at him, she could not stand to look at the concern in those wonderful brown eyes of his… no, she told herself, not wonderful, just normal. Normal, typical, average brown eyes.

"Nothings wrong," she said, forcing a small smile.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his discomfort distinct, "Because, I mean, you don't usually wake up this early, or come down here by yourself. And, well," he paused, hesitating slightly, sounding rather uncertain about himself, "Look, if this has anything to do with not telling you about Lachlan, it really did just honestly slip my mind, I don't want you to think I'm trying to control you or –"

Rose actually laughed, and could not help but look at him.

"Remus, come on, I'm over that, I got over the same night I found out about it, okay?"

"But then why are you upset?" he frowned, "I don't understand – is it something I've done?"

"I'm not upset, can't a girl want some alone time for a change? I've been here for how long now, with nothing but these people for company, same scenery every day, away from my family and students and _home_, you'd think you could cut me some slack, Remus. Seriously, it's nothing."

She felt horrible lying to him – even though it was partly true. She did miss her parents and students, the only people who had never judged her, but that would never cause her to isolate herself in this way.

"Oh," he replied, looking taken-aback, but rather relived, "Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't even thought about that."

"It's okay, Remus," she insisted, jumping up to her feet, "Really, I just wanted some time alone, it's nothing much at all. Let's head back inside."

"Wait, will you sit down for a moment? I need to tell you something."

"What?" she asked cautiously as she sat down again.

"I received an owl this morning from Dumbledore, regarding the situation from Lachlan. He wanted me to tell him this morning."

"_What?_" she gasped, her eyes wide open, "And did you tell?"

His face broke in to a smile, his eyes twinkled, "Yes, I did. And he took it brilliantly. I showed him Harry's interview too. He was worried, of course, but he's willing to join the Order."

"That's excellent!" she exclaimed, smiling her first real smile of the day, "Good on him, I knew he'd pull through!"

"So did I. I haven't told him about you, by the way. He doesn't know you work for the Order too. I thought you might like to tell him yourself."

"Oh," said Rose, and she fell silent for a moment, thinking.

"I don't think I want to tell him."

"What? Why?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

She shrugged, "It's just easier this way. We won't have to answer any awkward questions."

She did not have to specify which type of questions she was referring to, the look on Remus' face said he understood well enough.

"It's up to you, I won't say anything. But there is one other issue. Dumbledore is arranging for Lachlan to have a wand as we speak. With a little bit of training, he will be able to back me up pretty well if death eaters ever make their way here."

Rose looked at him sharply. He avoided her gaze, playing nervously with the sand.

"What are you saying?" she asked slowly.

He looked up at her, meeting her gaze sadly, though with a smile, "It means you can leave this place… Lachlan can back me up now, and you can go back to doing more useful things for the Order. You don't need to be here anymore."

Rose stared at him in disbelief.

"I – I can go?" she stuttered.

"Yep," he replied, "Dumbledore actually wants you gone quickly, they are really short on people doing shifts over the prophecy. You'll be able to help lighten the load."

Though he was smiling, his expression was oddly closed, as though he was trying to hide any real emotion from showing. She wondered whether he regretted the fact that she would be leaving… she wondered whether she regretted it herself. The day after she realises her feelings for him are developing, she would be leaving his company. It was a good thing, was it not? If she could be away from him, her feelings would go away. But if it was so good, why was she not happy about it?

"Shouldn't we wait a little, at least until he can use the wand properly?"

"Albus said that Severus said that there were no plans to send any death eaters for now, so it should be fine."

"What are you going to tell everyone?" she asked, looking for something matter of fact to say, "Won't they find it strange that I've gone so suddenly?"

"We can tell them that you've received an urgent call from home, and that you need to go."

"And when do I leave?" she asked.

Though she hated to admit it, she hoped she would at least have until the end of the week to spend some time with him before she left for good.

"Well, to be honest, I think you should leave as soon as possible, half an hour from now, maybe?"

"Half an _hour_?" she exclaimed.

"Well, yes, the sooner you get back, the better," he said, looking slightly apologetic, "I mean, there's no point lingering, is there?"

Rose felt her jaw clenching slightly, and she stood up abruptly.

"Right, then I'd better go and pack then," she said coldly, turned her back on him and, ignoring his bewildered expression, hurried up to the orphanage. If he did not want her to _linger_, then she would not impose her presence on him.

"Rose, wait!"

Remus suddenly appeared at her side. She bit her lip and forced herself to look at him with her most polite expression.

"What?"

"I've, er, I've already packed for you," he said hesitantly, "Erm, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just looking forward to leaving," she lied, a false smile plastered on her face, "It's great to be finally leaving this place. I won't miss it, I can tell you that."

"You – you won't?"

"Of course not!" she replied, allowing herself to look incredulous, "Is there anything at all here worth staying for?

"Not even… anyone?"

"No one," she repeated with emphasis.

"Oh," he said simply.

Rose noticed that he looked confused and… hurt? He took a few steps back, his eyes on the floor and his hands stuffed hurried in his pockets.

"Well, I guess you'd better go and say good bye to everyone, then."

"Fine," she said bitterly, and she hurried up the hill. When she reached the top, she looked over her shoulder and realised that he had not followed her. He was simply standing in his place, watching the grass absent-mindedly. There was no denying, he looked unbelievable hurt. Rose felt suddenly guilty – what if he was not happy to see her leave? What if he was only acting on Dumbledore's orders? She did not have the courage to go back and talk to him though. What would she say? That she would miss him? She would never admit to that, and besides, she did not even know if he would miss her. And so she made her way indoors instead.

The news of her departure was taken rather badly by some. Lachlan, Charlotte, and to a lesser extent, Artemis, Julian and Clive were all sad to see her leave, as were a few of the others. Rose knew she would miss them too.

After half an hour, Remus had still not returned from the lake. Rose looked anxiously at the door way, willing him to walk in.

"Honestly, where is Remus?" said Charlotte impatiently, "You're leaving the country, and he's not even here to see you off. That's so unlike him."

Rose bit her lip in worry. Lachlan must have noticed, because he patted her shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Anabelle, he's probably just upset that you're leaving, he'll come up any minute now."

"Will he? Oh, I think I'd better just leave!" Rose said hopelessly, "He'd have come if he wanted to, he's had half an hour."

"No, come on now, Anabelle, just give it a moment!"

"Oh, look, he's coming!" cried Artemis, point out the window, "And, blimey! He sure does look upset! I think he's really going to miss you, Anabelle."

"He does?" she asked anxiously.

Oh, why was I so cruel to him? She thought to herself. He could not have realised how his suggestion would have hurt her – he probably thought she would have liked to leave herself! Now everything was just going to be so awkward.

A moment later, Remus appeared at the doorway and gave what she recognised was a rather strained smile.

"Anabelle, dear, have you said your goodbyes?" he asked as he stepped forward.

Rose thought fleetingly that perhaps it was a good thing she had upset him – it made the lie that she was leaving him so much more believable.

"I have," she said, smiling warmly at him.

"Except one," interjected Artemis.

"Oh!" said Rose with forced surprise, turning around to look at her, "Who did I miss?"

Artemis smiled incredulously at her.

"Remus, of course," she said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, right," Rose said stupidly.

Every single eye in the room was fixed upon her at that moment, and she knew what they were all expecting – it was the one thing she had been dreading more than anything, and, given the realisation she had made last night, she did not think she was up to it at all. But what choice did she have?

Remus stood before her, looking at her doubtfully, as though he did not think she would do it.

Damn it, she thought, how much did I just hurt him? Well, there was only one way to make up for it now.

She stepped up towards him, taking in his appearance. His brown hair was handsomely dishevelled and his lip was twitching nervously, his hands were balled tensely in the pockets of his worn out robe. She looked up at him sincerely as she placed her hands on his chest. He did not respond at all to her touch.

"I'm going to miss you," she whispered, before placing her lips on his, kissing him softly.

It was the most incredible feeling, unlike any kiss they had shared before, and there could only be one reason for it – Rose knew that she had feelings for him, and this was the most natural way to express it.

He kissed her back gently, all tension leaving him, an arm wrapped comfortably around her waist, the other running through her hair. The feeling made her weak at her knees – and heart, and before she knew it, she was crying.

Emotion after emotion was returning to her. Every emotion she had thought she had eliminated, the hurt, the sense of betrayal, the _regret_.

Why did you leave me, why did you leave me, why? She thought to herself, over and over, until finally, he pulled his face away from hers, his eyes silently questioning her. She knew he was wondering if the tears were real, or for show.

"Aw, she's really going to miss him, isn't she?" she heard a distance voice say.

Remembering that others were present, she pushed away from him, hurriedly wiping away her tears.

"Oh, I'm s-sorry, it's just – I can't believe I'm leaving everything behind," she stuttered, "It's just so – so unexpected!"

"There, there, Anabelle," said Charlotte, giving her a reassuring hug, "It's not that bad, and you know, you can visit him when ever you want, really. You're always welcome here."

There was a snort from a distant corner of the room, though everyone ignored it.

"I suppose," she said doubtfully, "Well, there's no use stretching things, I guess I'd better be off now. I'll just apparate from here."

And then, a few more rushed goodbyes later, and without so much as a word shared between her and Remus, she was gone from the orphanage. For good.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait! I hope you liked it, I know I did. :D Thanks for all the reviews! :)  
**


	25. Just An Act

Rose was not sure how she managed to live through the weeks following her departure from the orphanage. Mostly, it was a blur – she could remember the dreadfully long and boring hours spent guarding the Department of Ministries, remembered snippets of the few meetings she had attended (which, notably, lacked a certain werewolf), and a very surly Sirius. Other memories were slightly sharper – for example, the first meeting she attending with her full appearance back. Most of the Order had only ever seen her with her glasses on, or disguised as Anabelle Elizabeth Jean, and so when she had first appeared, she had caused quiet a stir, much to her annoyance.

Most of all, however, she remembered the many sleepless nights, tossing and turning in bed, hating the situation she had put herself in, hating the fact that she had feelings for him, dwelling on how everything had changed that night in nineteen eighty one, and yet, as much as she tried not to, thinking about him. About how he was coping with out her, whether he thought about her as often as she thought about him, and occasionally, about how right his lips had felt against her own…

Admittedly, she had a lot of time to think about these things, what with her new, dull routine life style involving little more than her Department of Mysteries watches, her hours stuck in Grimmauld place with nothing more than a moody Sirius, a twisted house elf and overloud portraits.

It was not until early April that something out of the ordinary happened, and it arrived right at their step in the form of Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor?" said Rose, as he strode calmly, thought seriously in to the kitchen that evening, "Is everything alright – has something happened?"

Sirius, who had been slouching, half asleep, in his seat, suddenly sat up straight.

"Harry?" he asked, his eyes suddenly alert.

Dumbledore held up both hands wearily, "Harry is fine, there has not been any attack, not unless you count my short squabble with the Minister – though he isn't going to remember any of that, either way."

"The minister…?" Rose asked incredulously.

Dumbledore sighed as he drew up a chair.

"Indeed. It seems dear Fudge had discovered Potters Defence group and had arrived at the castle, ready to expel him, as well as a number of other students. Conveniently, the group had named themselves Dumbledores Army, and so I was able to manipulate the situation to make it seem like I was in charge… naturally, that did not go down well, and so I am currently on the run from the Ministry."

Sirius swore profusely while Rose gawped at Albus, her mouth hanging wide open. Just when she taught things could not get worse…

"Where are you going to stay?" she asked, "Here?"

He nodded in her direction, "I'm afraid I must trespass on your hospitality."

"It's not a problem. The more, the merrier," Sirius said.

Surprisingly, he looked like he rather meant it.

The following evening, an emergency meeting was held in order to update the Order members of the previous night's developments. As the kitchen slowly filled up with people, Rose and Sirius sat together in their corner, quietly watching the others, both too involved with their own thoughts to care for what was happening around them. It was not until Rose heard the shrill voice of Sirius' mother booming through out the kitchen that she came out of her stupor to rush upstairs and help Tonks silence the portrait.

As she approached the portrait, however, the screaming stopped abruptly. Rose, hurried forward, confused, as Tonks had never been able to silence the portrait alone before. Then, as the portrait finally came into view, so did something else. And it was not Tonks.

It was Remus.

Rose felt her breath catch in her throat as her eyes meet his. She was frozen for a moment, not knowing what to do, or say. The last time they had seen each other, there had been an unspoken, perhaps, not even understood tension between them which had resulted with a kiss that Rose still dreamt about at night. He himself looked incredibly tired, though alert.

"Hello," he said, and Rose could sense the uncertainty in his voice, "I see your back to your normal self."

Rose realised he must be wondering whether she was still annoyed with him – after all, she had been awfully short with him the last time they had spoken.

Rose gulped, forcing herself to regain composure, "Uh, yeh. Yeh, Dumbledore had a potion ready for me the night I returned, it changed me back completely. It's good to be back to normal, I must admit."

"I can imagine," was his only reply as they made their way to the kitchen in awkward silence.

Rose kept a few paces behind him, unable to keep her eyes off what she could see of the side of his face. She wished he would say something. She wished she could think of something to say, and, indeed, the courage with which to say it. She hated to admit it, but she'd missed him terribly.

Perhaps the silence was getting to her, or maybe it was just a result of the intoxicating effect being around someone you care for you has. In reality, Rose did not have a clue why she spoke the following words.

"I've missed you," she blurted out, regretting the words as soon as they left her lips. She bit her tongue anxiously as Remus turned around to face her, looking thoroughly surprised.

"You did?"

Rose shrugged embarrassedly, "Yeh, I guess."

"I thought you said there wasn't anything to miss…" he replied as he rubbed his neck uncertainly.

"Well, you know what they say, about not knowing what you have until it's gone," she replied, and it was not until an amused smile played on his lips that she realised how flirtatious that had sounded.

"I – I meant, as in –" she started, but he cut her off.

"It's okay, I know what you meant," he said, still smiling, though warmly now, "Come on, lets head down stairs. I still can't believe Albus is on the run from the law…"

They made their way into the almost full kitchen with Remus leading the way. Occasionally he was stopped by members of the Order as he walked past for a quick chat. It had been weeks, after all, since he had been last seen.

"Looks like he's bloody exhausted, doesn't he?" mumbled Sirius, watching Remus as he spoke to Molly and Tonks, "As if he's about to collapse any second."

"He doesn't look that bad," Rose said from Sirius' right (she had resumed her seat besides him), "You're exaggerating. But yeh, he does look pretty tired. Poor guy. I wonder if Lachlan was able to continue making the Wolfsbane without me."

"Why do you care so much?" Sirius asked, looking at her shrewdly.

"What?" she said defensively, "Why shouldn't I care? Or do you think I want him to run lose as werewolf once a month?"

"Whatever you say," Sirius muttered, looking away from her, but not without shotting a knowing wink in her direction.

"What was that meant to mean?" she whispered harshly at him, forcing him to face her.

He was not able to reply, however, because at that moment, Remus had sat down besides him, stealing away his attention.

Sirius leaned back in his chair; his arms crossed across his chest and gave Remus an appraising look.

"It's about bloody time," Sirius said, "I thought you must've died on the job or something. Why no word for all those weeks, then? You never usually stay away for that long."

Remus gave a wry smile, "It's good to see you too, Sirius. I've been busy, you know, getting Lachlan up to scratch and pretending to be depressed now that Anabelle is gone. Have you been up to much?"

Sirius snorted and Rose rolled her eyes.

"He's been a mess, maybe you can talk some sense in to him, Remus," said Rose, secretly enjoying the innocent excuse to chat casually with him, "All he does is sleep, eat, feed Buckbeak and sulk."

"Not that your any better yourself," Sirius challenged.

"Meaning what?" she replied calmly, not letting her surprise show.

"Don't think I haven't noticed how you've been moping around," he replied, "And someone's been finishing our supply of calming potion – I know I haven't been taking it. I don't know who else it could be, unless you're going to suggest Kreacher."

Rose couldn't think of what to say. It was true, of course, but she had thought that Sirius, who was too involved in his own moping, had not noticed a thing. She did not want to admit it, not when Remus was watching her so closely, waiting for her reply. Fortunately, she was spared, as Dumbledore had called the start of the meeting that moment.

As soon as the meeting was over, Rose dismissed herself from the table, not wanting to give Sirius a chance to continue his interrogation. Why did he have to choose that moment to confront her? In front of Remus too, of all people!

"Damn it, Sirius," she muttered in frustration as she closed the door to her room.

It was not his fault. Not really. She had not told him anything about her feelings for Remus. It was not that she did not trust him with her secrets, but he was known to act rashly and would at least try to hint something to him. And she did not want that. Or did she?

She had wondered on that point for many hours on end already, and still could not come up with a decent answer. She could not tell Remus how she felt, not unless she knew how he felt for her. It could ruin everything if he did not return her feelings – not only would she look weak and desperate, but it would hurt her. She did not think she could stand to be hurt at his hands anymore.

And then, even if he did return her feelings, would he admit it? Or would he pretend not to, allowing his insecurities of being a werewolf stop him from being with her again, just like he did the first time… Or if he did admit it, was she herself ready to commit herself to a relationship? Sure, he meant something to her, but there was no denying that she did not believe in love, and what was a relationship if not based on love, or at least, the illusion of it?

_Knock. Knock._

The gentle tapping sound at her door startled Rose from her thoughts. She approached the door cautiously, wondering who it could possibly be.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me, Remus," replied a hoarse voice she knew to well.

She bit her lips anxiously. What on earth could he want? She quickly composed herself before opening the door and sticking her head out.

"Can I come in?" he asked, giving her a small, uncertain smile, "I bought chocolate."

Sure enough, in his hand was a small slab of Honeydukes best chocolate. Rose smiled, remembering something Sirius had said about Remus' rather new found chocolate obsession.

"Well, when you put it that way…" she sighed, opening the door, and quickly closing it again once he had entered.

She sat down on one side of her bed and indicated that he should sit on the other. They sat in silence as Remus unwrapped the slab of chocolate and broke off a piece for her. She accepted it with thanks. It tasted rather good.

"So," she said slowly, after a few moments, "What brings you up here?"

"I might just ask you the same question," he replied, "You practically sprinted up here as soon as the meeting was over."

"Er – I needed to use the bathroom," she said lamely.

Remus raised an eyebrow, "I see. And you didn't think to come back downstairs?"

"I – no. It doesn't matter. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I had some chocolate to share," he said jokingly, "But no, seriously, I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away," she replied nervously. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.

"That day, when you left. You cried. Why did you cry?"

The expression he wore as he asked that question was so sincere, so confused, that it made her feel guilty about the lie she was about to tell.

"I was acting. What else could I have done?" she replied, shrugging indifferently.

"Really? You're sure? I mean, it just seemed so real," he replied.

Was Rose imagining things, or did he actually look disappointed? She was so tempted to tell him the truth, to have him wrap his arms around… but she couldn't, she shouldn't, and she wouldn't.

"No Remus," she said softly, but firmly, "It wasn't real. It was an act. Just an act."

* * *

**Hope you liked! Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry I'm not replying by pm any more - I used to do that by using the reply link that came up when I got an email, but I've spotted getting emails notifying me about reviews so I haven't been pming anyone. But, in better news, I just figured out why it was happening so I will be able to pm again.  
**

**gardensigernumbli - its roughly half way through. Er, so yeh. it's set to be a very long fic!**

**metrostation - thanks for the tip about the descriptions! And I'm surprised that you think Rose is perfect, she certain isn't! (Okay, so maybe she is a little perfect in the looks department, but hey, that kind of happens when you're part veela lol). but i'll take what you said into consideration. I think her less than perfect side will show in a few chapters time.**

**Little Miss Mischief- yep, should be seeing some more Remus/Tonks soon. But keep in mind this fic IS from Rose's PoV so it will hard to have a lot of Remus/Tonks, of course.**


	26. Polyjuice

"Sirius, what's in this?" Rose asked, holding up a large, heavy bottle she had found in the cupboard over the sink.

Sunset was approaching and, as usual, Rose and Sirius were sitting in the kitchen, absolutely bored senseless. Sirius looked up groggily at the bottle Rose held up to show him.

"Mmm, I think that's one of Mad-eyes, isn't it?" he replied, "The one he lost a few weeks ago, maybe. Don't ask me how it got up there."

"A few weeks?" Rose frowned as she opened the bottle, "This better not have rotting Pumpkin juice in it or I'll – oh!"

"What?" asked Sirius interestedly, sitting up straighter in his chair.

"It's – it's polyjuice potion!" she exclaimed in wonder, as a idea formulated rapidly in her mind.

"Oh," said Sirius dully, and he sank back in to his chair.

"Oh? Is that all you can manage?" Rose said, rolling her eyes. She put the bottle down carefully, "Wait here, I'll be back in a second!"

"Where are you –" he called after her, "Oh, forget it."

Rose hurried up to her room, her excitement mounting with every step she took. She quickly found what she was looking for and raced back down the stairs.

"Here," she said excitedly, putting her photo album down on the table and hurriedly flicking through the pages.

"What on earth are you doing?" asked Sirius, looking back and forth between her and the album with an incredulous look on his face.

Rose did not reply, instead she let out an excited gasp.

"I found it!"

"What? A lump of hair? Why the hell do you –" Sirius paused, a look of realisation spreading across his face, "Oh, wait a minute. No, no way. You're not serious, are you?"

"About what?" she replied, putting on her best innocent face as she carefully pulled a single strand of hair free from the clump.

"You're going to us the polyjuice potion, aren't you?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course not."

"Then why are you –"

"You're going to use it!"

"I'm… going to use it?" he repeated slowly, "Why on earth would I do that?"

Rose, with the single strand of hair now firmly between her fingers, walked towards the bottle of polyjuice potion and carried to the table where Sirius was sitting.

"Because I'm bored and you're bored and this is the only way you can leave Grimmauld place with no one suspecting a thing?" Rose suggested cunningly.

"I – you want – are you saying…" Sirius struggled to form words, until finally he paused, and a wide, excited smile reminiscent of his younger days spread across his face, "You're a genius. Oh, dear God, you are a cunning, evil, rebellious GENIUS!"

"Knew you'd see things my way," Rose said, beaming, "I'm thinking, me, you, Hogsmeade. This hair is my cousins, by the way, he's an Aussie and never set foot in the UK, so no one will recognise you as him. Ah, but then I need to disguise myself again... I'm still meant to be a secret."

Rose frowned, not having anticipated this problem, but Sirius brushed it off.

"That's nothing to worry about. There's still a little fat potion left –"

"I'm not taking fat potion!"

"Well, what can you do then?" he replied.

"I'll have a little bit of the potion… It looks like there is only enough for about an hour and half in here though, I guess I'll just duplicate some for myself," she replied thoughtfully.

"Duplicate? Since when could polyjuice be duplicated?" asked Sirius as he watched Rose successfully duplicate the potion.

"Get with the times, Sirius," she replied with false exasperation, "Actually, I only know about it because the spell was invented by the Charms teacher at the school I teach at, with help from the Potions master, who, I might add, is much more pleasant than Snape. Anyway, the problem with it is that the potion is weaker… it still works for the same amount of time, but you end up retaining some of your own features… so it's sort of a mix. Which is perfect when you want to disguise yourself as someone non-specific. You know what, I'll make two, so we can return the original to Moody and he won't suspect us of using it!"

After doubling the potion, Rose carefully pulled out a hair from her album.

"Another cousin of ours?" asked Sirius.

"Yep, she's female at least. And not veela, so that's good. I won't be drawing too much attention to myself."

She added the hair to her flask, and the other hair to Sirius'. Hers immediately turned the reddish-brown colour of dried blood, while Sirius' turned a dull orange-brown.

"No offence Rose, but your cousins don't look so tasty," Sirius said, wrinkling his nose, "Well, have we remembered everything?"

"Umm… I think so. Professor Dumbledore said he will be gone until tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yeh, that man is such a party animal."

"Sirius!" Rose said reproachfully, but the edges of her lips twitched, "Well, I guess that's it! Let's drink."

They lifted up the bottles and drank simultaneously, both shuddering at the awful taste of the potion. Then, the effects started to kick in, and a few painful moments later, they emerged as –

"Adrian and Lucy Loveridge," Rose stated, after she conjured a mirror to observe her new appearance, "Brother and sister, on holiday from the land down under – if anyone asks."

"This is bizarre…" muttered Sirius as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, "I'm blonde… and I have _freckles_. Ew, so do you… It's a little obvious these cousins isn't from the veela side of things… So, Hogsmeade okay for you?"

"Perfect. Right then – let's go!"

And so, moment later, they apparated into the main street of Hogsmeade.

"Wow," said Sirius, taking a good look around, "FRESH AIR! I feel so _alive_."

He inhaled deeply, and Rose could not help but laugh at the look of wonder on his face.

"It all looks so different, you know, looking at it with normal eyes… amazing how different it all looks through the eyes of a dog."

"I'll bet. So, where do you want to go first?" Rose asked.

"Three Broomsticks, of course!" he replied excitedly and he shot forward, forcing Rose to hurry along after him.

The bar was rather full, though fortunately, not with students, but with Hogsmeade residents.

"Hello," said Sirius to Madam Rosemetra, "Two butterbeers please."

He added an extra – and rather unnecessary – wink. Rose knew it had been a long time since he'd done _that_.

Once Sirius had paid, he carried to two drinks for them towards the back of the bar and set them down at a table for two. Rose took a seat across him.

"You don't know how good this feels… being away from that place. Being around people and not having them scream in horror at the sight of you."

"I can imagine… it felt the same when I was disguised as Anabelle, you know, no one perving at me or trying to hit on me. It was great."

Sirius looked around the bar interestedly.

"Do you remember the first time you came here?" he asked, turning to look back at her.

"What?" she replied, taken-aback by the randomness of the question.

"The first time… I remember it so clearly. It was only a few days after Remus refused to go out with you, right?"

"Yes…" she replied slowly, not sure where he was taking his.

"And then James hit Remus with that tickling curse and he feel all over you. Oh, that was so funny."

Rose smirked, "For you, maybe, Remus and I were horrified."

"Oh, yeh, horrified, I'm sure," he replied sarcastically, "More like wishing you could take it some where more private."

"Sirius!" she hissed, "Shut up!"

But, true to himself, he did not.

"But then Jessica blew up your cup, didn't she? And you cut yourself… Remus got all defensive and rushed you up to the hospital wing… he tried to act like he didn't like you. Needless to say, _that_ didn't work."

He looked at her meaningfully and she felt herself shiver slightly. Was he hinting at something?

"I – whatever. That was in the past. Twenty years ago. It's not important anymore. Anyway, we only have about an hour and a bit left. Let's not waste it talking about rubbish we could easily talk about at your place."

"You're right," he replied suddenly.

He quickly finished his butterbeer and jumped up from his seat.

"What're you –" Rose began in surprise.

"Just finish your drink, come on, we don't want to waste the whole hour sitting in here, do we?" he said.

"Fine, just give me a minute."

She drank her drink as quickly as she could while Sirius cheered her along.

"One more gulp, just one more, one more – it's finished!" he cried, oblivious to the stares of a number of people around him.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her outside with him.

"Sirius, relax!" she cried, half laughing half trying to sound exasperated.

"I haven't been out for God knows how long – and you ask me to relax? Look, Zonkos! Maybe I can get something for Harry."

Close to an hour later, after Sirius had dragged Rose into what seemed like all the stores Hogsmeade had to offer, he suggested that they visit the Shreiking Shack, "for old time's sake".

"I don't know what the point is," Rose said as they sat down on the grass surrounding the Shack, "It's not like you ever really saw it from the outside, it was mainly from the inside."

Sirius snorted, "Yeh, right. Isn't this where you and Remus used to always come when you wanted some time alone on Hogsmeade trips?"

Rose turned to face him, her hands on her hips.

"You weren't meant to know that! How'd you find out?"

"Oh, come on, you don't think James and I would miss the chance to see where you two got off to? The number of times we followed you under James' cloak… mind you, you almost made us sick, the amount of snogging you guys got up to up here, I mean seriously… get a _room_."

Rose blushed furiously – apparently her cousin's body was not as good as controlling a blush as she was.

"Well no one told you to stalk us, you pervert! We wouldn't have needed a room if you didn't abuse that cloak."

"Ah, well that isn't the point, anyway," Sirius, casually brushing the matter away.

"Well, what's the point, then?"

He looked at her seriously, "The point is that you and Remus used to come up here, to be alone, and occasionally snog the living daylight out of each other."

"And you're mentioning this why?" Rose asked incredulously.

"Because, I know you still want it. You wish you could drag him up here when ever you felt like being alone with him, and snog him to death, don't you?"

Rose felt herself paling considerably, "Oh, shut up, Sirius. Remus is my _friend_, that's it!"

"I know, I know. He's your _friend_. That's pretty obvious, but you want him to more than that, right?" he pressed on dangerously.

"Oh, you are so lucky right now that my cousin isn't part veela or I'd be flaring up all over the place," she threatened.

"Rose – come on, don't be so –"

"No, Sirius, you listen to me," she cut him off, her voice trembling. Damn it, she thought to herself, her cousin really ought to learn some more bodily control, "I don't want anything to do with him in that way. How can you think I would? After what he did to me? How could you think I'd allow myself to hurt be like that – again?"

Sirius considered her gravely, all hints of a smile wiped of his face, "That's it, then, is it? You're scared… scared of how he might hurt you, if you let yourself care for him again?"

Rose nodded weakly, the fight leaving her, unable to stop the tears from springing to her eyes, "But it's too late, Sirius, too late… I'm – I'm already falling, again… but I don't want to, I really don't…"

"Hey, hey, don't cry, come here."

He wrapped an arm around her comfortingly as she cried in to his shoulder.

"Don't – don't tell him, Sirius, okay? Please? I – I couldn't stand if he – if he –"

"I won't tell him a thing," he reassured her, "But I want you to promise me something."

She pulled away from him, having control her tears, "What's that?"

"Will you at least consider it? Consider giving him a second chance? There's just so much room for you guys to fill in each others live, to make each other happy again. Just consider it, okay? For me?"

Rose knew it was hopeless, but the way he asked was so sincere that she couldn't help but agree, "Okay, Sirius, I'll consider it, but I can't promise you any miracles."

"It's alright Rose… you just do your bit… I guess time will tell if it's good enough…"


	27. Head in the Fire

If Rose thought time had been passing rather slowly ever since she had left the orphanage, it was nothing compared to the stand-still time seemed to have reached over since her little trip with Sirius. She supposed it had much to do with the little she had to distract herself from the promise she had made. No matter how many hours she spent lying down in bed, contemplating the issue, she could not reach a solid conclusio

Mostly she would dwell on the hopelessness of the situation – their past, the hurt – though occasionally, she would have these brief moments of inspiration, where, she reasoned with herself, maybe it was possible, maybe things could workout between them, maybe love was real…

But those moments were few and far in between. Despite Sirius' optimism and all too common speeches of encouragement, and despite the fact that she knew that Remus held a special place in her heart, she just could not bring herself to admit that they could have any future together.

To make things worse, it had been many weeks since she had last seen Remus. His work for the order was keeping him busy and she had not seen him at all after her first talk with Sirius. She was not sure if it was a good thing or a bad one, though one thing she was sure of was that she was missing him sorely, a realisation that only made her more frustrated with herself.

It was not until one evening in May that Remus appeared at Grimmauld place again. Rose had just been leaving her bedroom when she heard the footsteps.

"Sirius?" she heard someone ask.

Rose gasped and almost fell down the staircase – though lucky just managed to grab on to the banister in time.

"Remus?" she exclaimed incredulously, "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Just having a break from work – have you seen Sirius?" he asked urgently from where he stood, just a few steps below her.

"I – no, I just woke up –"

"I'm here," came Sirius's reply as he hurriedly thundered down the stairs, "Remus, what's wrong, you sound anxious?"

"Come quick, Harry just appeared in the fire, he wants to talk to you," he replied quickly, then turned on his heel and hurried down the stairs, Sirius rushing quickly behind him.

Rose was so flustered at having Remus sprung upon that it took her a while to realise that Harry might actually be in trouble, and she quickly hurried forward to join the two men.

She paused at the kitchen door – the room was silent, except for Remus' rather quiet speech.

" – wouldn't like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen –"

"I'm fifteen!" she heard Harry reply heatedly.

"Look, Harry," replied Sirius, "James and Snape hated each other –"

Bewildered as she was by the conversation before her, Rose had heard enough to realise that Harry was in no immediate danger. She continued to listen from the side, realising that there was no need for her to interrupt.

"Now you mention it," she heard Remus say, "How did Snape react when he found you'd seen all this?"

"He told me he'd never teach me occlumancy again, like that's a big disappoint –"

Rose gasped, though it was drowned out by Sirius' significantly louder shout.

"He WHAT?"

Rose felt her heart beating frantically. Snape had stopped the lessons? How could he, after what happened to Arthur? How could Harry protect himself now? A thousand questions rushed through her mind, each more unsettling than the last.

A moment later, Harry was gone, leaving behind a fuming Sirius.

"That absolute git!" he shouted angrily, slamming a fist down on the table, "How dare he stop the classes!"

"Calm down, Sirius," said Remus sharply, pulling on his cloak as he spoke, "I'll make him see sense."

"You don't honestly think you stand a chance reasoning with him, do you, Remus?" asked Rose.

"Who else do you suggest?" he shot back hurriedly, "Sirius? And risk having him sent back to Azkaban?"

"Remus, the man hates you almost as much as he hated James and Sirius!" she exclaimed in frustration, "He won't listen to a word you say. Not to mention that horrible Umbridge is running a dictatorship as we speak and you know what she thinks about werewolves! What do you think will happen if she catches you?"

"Well, I have to try anyway," he replied determinedly, and he hurried out of the room.

Rose was not one to give up easily, however, and she hurried after him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away from the door. She could not help but notice how close she was to him.

"_What_ are you doing?" he asked in disbelief, as he struggled to free himself from her grasp.

"Remus," she said firmly, "Be reasonable, you can't do this on your own! At least let me go with you!"

"You can't, you're meant to be a secret, remember?" he replied.

"No one needs to see me, or us! We can wear the invisibility cloak, there's one in the wardrobe – accio cloak!" she cried, and caught the cloak in her free hand.

Remus looked from the cloak to her determined expression and back, and sighed, "Oh, _alright_, but you have to promise me you won't let anyone outside of the Order see you."

"I promise! Honestly, Remus, how irresponsible do you think I am?" she replied.

He did not reply, but gave her a pointed expression instead. Rose decided not to dignify him with a response, and instead, he turned away from her and pulled two broomsticks out of the cupboard by the front door.

"What are they for?" she asked doubtfully, as she accepted the one the offered her, "You're not thinking of flying all the way to Hogwarts, are you, Remus? We'd die of hunger before we arrived!"

"Of course I'm not, they will be useful, you'll see."

"If you say so," she replied sceptically.

She took a few steps back towards the kitchen and called, "Sirius, I'm going with Remus to teach Severus a lesson, be back soon!"

Sirius grunted loudly from the kitchen in reply.

"Come on," she said, as she threw the cloak over them. It was not big enough to cover them, so, much to Roses discomfort (and secret pleasure) she was forced to stand extremely close to Remus, while he had to bend his knees because of his height.

"This is extremely uncomfortable," he stated with a slight grimace.

"Well, I'm not forcing you to come," Rose replied.

"Don't go there, come on, let's just leave."

He opened the door, and they stepped out on to the footstep.

"Hold my arm," Remus instructed, "I'll apparate, you just follow."

She did as he instructed, and a moment later, they had appeared, not in front of the Hogwarts gates as she had expected, but right in front of Honeydukes.

"Er, Remus? I know you're a chocoholic, but I really don't think this is the time…" she said, as Remus started to move towards the store, the shared cloak forcing her to follow.

"Not so loud," he whispered, stopping suddenly as a group of wizards walked past, "And we aren't here for chocolate, we're going to use that secret tunnel to get into the castle."

"Oh, now there's an idea…"

They waited a few moments, and finally, as a rather skinny witch threw open the door, they slipped into the store, and carefully made their way to the back. Rose forced back a grin, the number of times she and Remus had done this in their youth… she stole a glance at Remus, and noticed he was smiling too.

"Do you even remember how to find it?" she whispered, once they had slipped into the back of the store, which was fortunately quiet and free of any workers.

"I think so, come this way," he said, and Rose followed as closely as she could as he manoeuvred his way between the mountains of chocolates and sweets, "A little to the left –"

"Ouch!"

" – sorry, sorry! Wait, just a second – got it!"

He bent forward, and ran his hands over the dusty floor. Almost immediately, his fingers found the edge of the trapdoor and flicked the trapdoor open.

"Awesome!" Rose exclaimed. She looked around hastily to make sure no one was coming, "Okay, there's no one here, jump in!"

They quickly made their way into the tunnel, the cloak sliding off them as they did. Remus hastily closed the trapdoor, causing them to fall into darkness.

"Lumos!" he muttered.

Light filled the narrow tunnel, reflecting eerily off the filthy walls and illuminating the many spider webs. She took her own wand and cast the same spell, adding to the light.

"Eck, we just had to choose the grossest tunnel, didn't we?"

"Would you prefer going through the Shrieking Shack?" he replied pointedly.

"Mmm… good point. We aren't going to walk all the way, are we – oh wait, this is why you got the brooms, isn't it?" she said with realisation, looking at the broom that she had forgotten she was holding.

"I told they'd come in handy," he said as he mounted his broom, smiling in a way that almost made her shiver. It suddenly occurred to her how very alone they were…

"Right," she said, clearing her throat awkwardly, "Let's get going then."

"As you wish," he said, and a moment later, he was off.

Rose hastily mounted her own broom, kicked off, and followed him. It proved to be a difficult journey, made all the harder by the poor visibly, narrow tunnel and many spider webs. However it was certainly a fast method of travel, and fifteen minutes later they found themselves facing a steep staircase.

"Right," said Remus, sliding smoothly of his broom, "Have you got the cloak?"

"Got it," she replied, "I can't believe we are breaking into Hogwarts. I like I'm 15 again."

"I know what you mean," he said, smiling reminiscently, "Only back in those days I don't think either of us would have thought we'd breaking in to talk to Severus, of all people."

"No, that's not quiet what we had in mind, was it…" she said quietly as she followed him up the staircase.

Looking up, she caught his eye, and from his expression she knew that he understood what she meant. He did not say anything. He did not have to. They both knew it, they were both thinking it, but for whatever reason, neither of them had the desire – or perhaps the courage – to say it. After all, what could be gained by saying it? Rose knew, at least for her, dwelling on the past would only cause her more pain, and perhaps send Remus the wrong messages. As for Remus, 

well, who know, really? Perhaps he was worried that she would lash out at him… as close as they had become over the past few months, Rose doubted he had forgotten the way she had flared when she first saw him.

They reached the top of the staircase and Rose threw the cloak over them both, making sure they were both covered completely before Remus pushed the statue forward and they climbed out carefully from behind it, leaving their broomsticks behind. Fortunately, the dimly lit corridor was empty.

"Come, this way," whispered Remus, just as Rose realised that she had no idea which way to go.

"How do you remember all this?" she whispered back incredulously as she followed him closely.

"I taught hear a few years ago, remember?"

"Oh, yeh. Is potions still in the dungeons?"

"Yes."

"Figures… couldn't have found a gloomier place for Severus to live if I tried… it seems to suit him though, doesn't it? I guess we'd better make sure we aren't caught… look, the sun is setting. I'd say we have a few more hours before prefects start patrolling."

"That should be more than enough," he replied, "I just hope we don't meet anyone one our way there… and that he is in office. Imagine if he's in the staff room or something, that would be a nightmare."

"Remus," Rose said suddenly, "Have you actually thought about what you are going to say to him?"

"Yes. I'm going to tell him to grow up and start giving Harry lessons again before I report this blatant lack of responsibility to Albus. In a much politer tone, of course," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"Remus! Are you serious?" she cried.

"Very much so," he said, looking at her in surprise, "Why?"

"Well, that such a stupid plan!"

"Well, excuse me! What's so stupid about –"

"Remus, honestly, you're meant to be smart. Do you really think Severus is going to take lightly to someone who he can't stand telling him what to do?" she argued.

"Well, what do you suggest then?"

"Let me talk to him. Alone," she said.

"Alone? Why?" he asked, throwing her a suspicious look.

"So I can seduce him into doing as I say," she said sarcastically, "Honestly, Remus, because I know he won't listen to a word I say if you are there. He is arrogant that way, and you know it."

He was silent for a moment, his expression contemplative.

"Well, _okay_," he said after a moment, "But if he doesn't listen then you have to tell me and I can talk to him, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, smiling broadly at her victory, "So tell me, what exactly did Harry see that made Snape so mad?"

"It was that day, remember, in fifth year? After our DADA OWL, when James dangled Snape upside down, and Lily came to his defence and Snape called her a mudblood."

"Oh," said Rose simply.

What have I gotten myself into? She thought frantically, as they edged ever closer to the dungeons (they had just passed the Entrance Hall). Of all memories, Rose knew that this one was perhaps Severus' worst. She may have maintained a friendly relationship with Severus in their sixth and seventh year after Lily stopped talking to him, but she had not spoken more than a few words in almost two decades…

"This isn't going to be pretty," she muttered, swallowing nervously.

"You don't have to do it yourself," Remus said quickly, "I can come with you –"

"Remus, it's okay. I told you I would call you in if things don't work out. It's not like he'll attack me or anything."

"It's the psychological assaults I'm worried about, more than anything," he admitted, casting a quick, worried glance at her.

"There is no need to be worried, Remus, I can take care of myself," she replied confidently, though her mood lifted considerably by his evident concern.

"Well, here we are," he said finally, coming to stop in front of a large set of doors which Rose immediately recognised as her old potions classroom.

"Well, should I knock?" she asked, looking uncertainly at Remus.

"Of course, unless you'd rather stand out here all day," he replied cheekily.

"I wouldn't mind that actually," she muttered indecipherably.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I said very funny," she said quickly, "Anyway, what I meant was, will he even hear if I knock? I mean, he won't hear if he is in his office or sleeping…"

"Rose, the sun is setting, do you really think Snape will be sleeping now? Besides, all classroom doors are charmed so that the knock can be heard from the classroom, the office and the living quarters," he said, and then, on seeing her surprised expression, he added, "I _did_ work here, you know."

"Right, okay, so I guess you can keep the cloak, and when he opens the door I can stick my head out from under the cloak just to prove that I'm here and then disillusion myself and slip in… does that sound like a plan?"

"Agreed, send me your patronus if you need any help," he said seriously.

"Remus, it's only Snape! And anyway, you send your patronus if you need help, okay? Especially if that Umbridge nightmare finds you…"

"Right. Okay, ready then?" he asked.

Rose nodded and slowly lifted her hand to knock on Snape's door…

* * *

**A/N - Sorry for the long wait - posts should start to become more regular again in about 3 weeks time!**

* * *


	28. Head in the Fire Cont

"Wait!" said Remus, hastily pulling her hand back before she could knock.

"What?" she whispered back urgently, as she tried in vain to force her attention away from the soft touch of his hand against her own.

"Maybe I should go with you, but under the cloak. Just in case," he suggested.

"Remus!" she replied, throwing up her free hand in exasperation, "It is just Snape. He's in the Order! What can he do? Besides, I thought you said you trust him?"

"I know, and I do," he said, sighing deeply, "But, I don't know, I've got this bad feeling, I mean, you know how harsh he can be, and from what Harry said, Snape was livid when he realised Harry had seen what he did… do you really want to be on the bad side of an angry Snape?"

"Remus, as touched as I am by this show of concern, I can take care of myself, really. I didn't teach defence for nothing, you know. An angry Snape is nothing compared to the stuff I've had to deal with."

He sighed again, though his time betraying a small smile, "Fine then, go ahead."

Finally (and somewhat regrettably), he let go of her hand, and with nerves building up in side her, she raised it again to knock on the door. And then –

_Click._

The handle turned, and before she could register what had happened, Remus was pulling her away from the door, stopping a few metres away. He pressed his back against the wall, 

indicating for her to do the same and held a finger to his lips. She did as she was told; all the while taking care to ensure the cloak was completely covering them both.

" – but I always knew I could count on you to fulfil my needs, Severus," came a falsely sweet, though scarily flirtatious, voice, followed a rather unflattering giggle.

Rose felt her jaw drop. She glanced at Remus, who looked as horrified as she felt, his bright brown eyes wide with disbelief.

She heard a low voice reply, she recognised it immediately as Severus', though she could not make a word he was saying.

"Well, I'm looking forward to tonight. Good night, for now, Severus," said the woman, and with a final giggle, she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

In the extreme dimness of the windowless corridor, Rose could make out the outline of a short, squat woman, though in the darkness it was impossible to guess who it was. Neither Rose nor Remus spoke a word until they were certain the woman was long gone.

"She _really_ doesn't seem like his type… whoever she is," commented Rose in to the dumbfounded silence, "Who would have thought, huh?"

"I think I am mentally scarred…" muttered Remus, stilling wearing an expression of extreme disbelief, "Still, at least he is likely to be in a, er, good mood."

"Ew, Remus, don't go there!" she grimaced, "Okay, right, so, er, I think I should go talk to him now… come on."

Ever so reluctantly, they moved away from the wall and towards the door. This time, she lifted her hand and, finally, managed to knock.

They only had to wait a second or two before the door flew open, revealing an obviously very exasperated Snape, whose expression quickly turned to annoyance when he realised no one was there.

"What in the name of Merlins beard…" he muttered as he stuck his greasy-haired head out into the corridor to see who had knocked.

Rose took that as her chance to reveal herself and pulled the cloak away from her face, causing Snape to gasp and raise his wand.

"Rose?" he questioned in disbelief, still not lowering his wand.

"Yep, it's me," she replied, nodding urgently while throwing looks up and down the corridor to make sure no one was coming.

"What on _earth_ are you doing here?" he asked, regarding her suspiciously.

"I need to talk to you, I'm coming in okay? Just let me disillusion myself –"

She raised her wand and cast the spell, and knew a moment later from the wet sensation that had spread over her that it had worked.

"You've got the cloak, why did you need to dis –" he started.

"Remus needs the cloak while he waits out here –"

"Him! What's he doing here?" Snape hissed angrily.

"Good evening to you too, Severus," replied Remus wearily from beneath the cloak.

"Well, come on in then, I don't have all night," he said grumpily, stepping back to allow her inside.

"Thanks! I won't be long, Remus," she added, after jumping out from behind the cloak and dashing in to the classroom.

"Take care," she heard him whisper faintly.

She hastily disillusioned herself while Snape closed the door, taking extra care to lock it.

"Not here!" he exclaimed, "You could be seen. Come, to my living quarters. No can disturbed us there, not even _her_, you must have seen her leave, I suppose?"

"Yeh…" she replied awkwardly, not at all at ease with the idea of Snape freely discussing his love interest.

Rose followed him through a door at the back of his office into a spacious living room, furnished scarcely with only the bare essentials in the darkest of colours. She was unable to hide the surprise she felt by the scorn with which he had spoken about the woman who had just left his office.

"Er, won't she get a little, I don't know, suspicious, if she catches us alone in your private quarters?" Rose asked hesitantly, as she sat down on a sofa opposite where Severus had sat.

"Better for the both of us for her to assume certain, er, _things_ than for her to suspect you of being an Order member," he replied unconcernedly.

"Won't that ruin you're relationship, though?" she asked, taken-aback.

"She may possibly see the need to forbid me from any expeditions out of the castle, I suppose…"

Rose was surprised by that answer, and it must have shown on her face, for Severus' raised both his eyebrows in question.

"What?" he asked.

"_Who_ are you talking about?" she asked.

"Umbridge, of course. Who else would I be talking about?"

"W-What?" Rose stuttered in disbelief, "That was Umbridge? You're having an affair with _her_?"

"What? An affair?" he exclaimed, looking mortified, "What on earth gave you that idea?"

Rose sat back in her chair, clasping her head in her hands, "Oh, for the love of… I thought – we thought – I mean, the way she was talking, talking about fulfilling needs and, and –"

"She was talking about getting rid of that accursed swamp the Weasley horrors set up in the corridor, what did you think she was talking about? Oh, wait, please, I don't want to know!"

"Hey, well, Remus thought the same thing too!" she exclaimed defensively, this time through broken giggles as she finally saw the humour in the situation, "He'll be relieved to know… he was even more mortified than I was at the idea…"

"Nothing more than I expected from the rotten werewolf… typical, mind in the gutter," he said, sneering cruelly.

Rose stopped laughing immediately.

"Hey!" she exclaimed indignantly, "Don't call him rotten! And his mind is _not_ in the gutter!"

"What, still in love with the werewolf, are we?" he retorted.

"_No_," she denied angrily.

How dare he talk like that, she thought to herself.

"I should hope not, all those times I ran into the pair of you making out, I wouldn't want anymore repeats of that, now would I…"

Oh, why on earth did I agree to do this, she scolded herself.

"Look, Severus, shut up," she said bluntly, "I didn't break into Hogwarts to talk about my past. I'm here to talk about the Occlumancy classes that you've stopped giving Harry."

That wiped the sneer of Severus' face, replacing it with a scowl.

"There is nothing to talk about," he said sharply.

"I'd say there is," she replied, "Does Albus know about this?"

He remained silent, though his scowl deepened.

"Well?" she pressed.

"No, he doesn't know," he admitted.

"And did you plan on telling him?"

"I don't see how that is any of our business."

"This is work for the Order, and I am an Order member, so I think it is only reasonable for me to express interest, isn't it? Besides, I have Harry's best interest at heart."

"How do you know about this anyway?" he asked harshly.

"We heard it from Harry – Sirius, Remus and I, I mean," she replied calmly, "He – he asked about the incident. And look, Severus, I know, more than anyone, that this is a touchy topic for you –"

"You know that he saw, then?" he asked, interrupting her, "He shared that with you, did he?"

"Well, with Remus and Sirius, really, he didn't realise I was listening –"

But her answer was cut off by Severus using his wand to blast a large hole in the wall oppose them.

"Eek!" cried Rose, jumping up from her seat as rubble and dust spread across the room, "Severus, what the hell are you doing?"

Having not moved from his seat, he waved his wand (perhaps with someone what more vigour than was required) and restored the room to its original state.

Rose sat down again on the now dust-free sofa while muttering "anger management" under her breath.

"You were saying?" he said in a deadly quiet voice that almost convinced her not to say another word. Almost.

She cleared her throat, allowing her inner Gryffindor to surface, before continuing.

"Right, as I was saying, er, I suppose, I realise more than most other people why that particular memory would have angered you so much –"

"Do you?" he challenged, "Do you really?"

"Well, I would suppose most people might think it's got something to do with the knickers, but I think we both know better than that?"

He did not reply, but his silence was answer enough. In all honesty, she was surprised he had not kicked her out yet.

"Well, given the seriousness of all this, Severus, seeing as how everything the Order is doing more or less rests on Harry learning occlumency, I think you should really start giving him classes again."

"No," he said through gritted teeth.

"Why not? He doesn't know what Lily meant to you, Severus."

"It makes no difference!" he snapped, "He is an insolent brat, as arrogant as his father, incapable of showing an respect for the privacy of others, and besides, he hasn't learned anything from the lessons at all, he only seems to be getting worse!"

"Are you telling me you'd have reacted this way if it was any other memory? Surely there was a reason the memory was removed in the first place? Has he been breaking into your mind, with a shielding charm, perhaps?"

"Enough of this!" he shouted, standing up suddenly, agitatedly, and pacing the room, "You wouldn't know – you wouldn't understand!"

"Understand what?"

"You don't know what it's like, to have gone through what I did –"

"Don't I?" she said coolly, standing abruptly, her annoyance rising, "You think I don't know, or understand?"

"How can you know?" he challenging, turning to face her.

"Are you forgetting, what I went through? Yes, you lost the woman you loved, Severus, but I lost the man I was ready to spend the rest of my life with… or have you forgotten that?"

"That's different – she is gone forever, your man is waiting for you just outside, you have your chance to win him back, and you can change everything if you wanted, make them right again… I'll never have that chance, she's gone, and there's nothing I can do but live with that for the rest of my life," he said quietly, and, to her amazement, he sat down, dejectedly, on the sofa, the fight completely lost from him.

She sat down as well, and they sat in silence for a moment, each in their own worlds. She could not help but contemplate what he had said, the words had struck her deeply… _you can change everything if you wanted, make them right again_… she watched him, sitting there miserably, in such an un-Snape-ish way. Is that what she wanted herself to become? He was right; she had the chance, the chance to change things, for the better, before it was too late. He was a living testament to what could become of her if she did not take the chance now…

With these new thoughts whirling through her mind, and after that confession, she knew that there was little left that she could say to convince him. Perhaps, at this stage, it would be best to leave the matter for Dumbledore to resolve.

And so, with that, she said her goodbyes and departed.

"Any luck?" whispered Remus urgently after throwing the invisibility cloak over her.

She shook her head, "No, no, I couldn't convince him, and I don't think you should go in there either…"

"Why?" he asked quickly, "He didn't abuse you, did he?"

"No, Remus, nothing like that at all. He just ended up giving me some rather unexpected food for thought… I think we should tell Albus, and let him deal with it."

"You're sure? I mean I could just pop in for a moment –"

Rose laughed softly, "Trust me, Remus, that is _not_ a good idea. Come on, we'd better get going."

He obliged, and they made their way back to the secret passage, this time, Rose not bother to ensure that a reasonable distance between herself and Remus was maintain. Somehow, after her discussion with Snape, it did not seem necessary. Moments later, they reached the passage, where they removed the cloak and mounted their brooms.

"Oh, and, er, Remus, it might interest you to know…" said Rose, a grin spread across her lips.

"Mmm?" he replied.

"Well, that woman we saw leaving Snape's office…"

"Ekh, don't remind me," he said, shivering slightly.

"Well, it was Umbridge!"

"_What?_"

And before he could interrogate her further, she kicked off and speed away on her broom. She just hoped Snape does not hear about this later.


	29. The Department of Mysteries

"What are you two laughing about?"

Rose and Remus had just entered the kitchen, laughing uncontrollably, while Sirius sat there, brooding.

Rose took one glance at Remus, and collapsed in a wave of fresh giggles. He had finally forced an explanation out of her about the Umbridge issue, and the two had not stopped laughing since.

"You explain," she managed to say in between her laughter.

By the time Remus had finished explaining, Sirius had emerged from his dark mood and joined in on the laughter, though he was substantially annoyed that Snape had not agreed to start the classes again. Rose reassured him that she would take the matter to Dumbledore.

"Well," said Remus, glancing at the clock on the wall, "I'd better get going."

"Oh, already?" asked Rose.

She determinedly ignored Sirius smirk.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," said Remus, smiling at her as he stood and put on his cloak, "I told the werewolves I'd be back by dark. It's a little past that."

"Well, make sure you come a little more often, won't you?" said Sirius, "_Some_ of us have actually missed you, you know."

Rose shot him a quick glare when she knew Remus was not looking.

"I'll try, I'll try," said Remus wearily, completely oblivious to the battle of the gazes happening behind his back, "You know how it is, it's hard to get away without rousing suspicion. Well, goodbye, then."

"Bye, Remus!" called Rose, as he hurried out of the room.

A moment later, they heard the front door slam shut, and Sirius wasted no time making light of the situation.

"Bye, Remus!" he imitated with an exaggerated high pitched voice.

"Shut up, you annoyance!" Rose said, throwing a misplaced table cloth at him.

"You know, I half expected you two to return as husband and wife," he said, ignoring her completely, "I mean, how could you not, given how close you had be under that cloak. I bet you loved it."

"Honestly, Sirius," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"So, are you going to do it or not?" he asked, somewhat seriously.

"Do what?"

"Tell him you love him!"

"I don't love him, there's no such thing as love!"

"Okay, okay," he said exasperatedly, throwing up his hands, "Tell him you-like-him-in-a-way-that-resembles-love-but-is-not-truly-love?"

Rose bit her lip. She thought back to what Severus had said. The words had truly affected her, and there was no doubt they had given her a push to the tell-him-how-you-feel side of the argument. Sirius seemed to take her silence as an indication of such.

"So… you're considering it, aren't you?"

"I – I – well, yes. I am, more seriously than before, I suppose," she admitted fearfully, resting her head in her hands, her elbows perched on the table-top, "But – it's just so inconceivable, Sirius!"

"No it isn't," he said emphatically, "It isn't – it's perfectly conceivable; you two make the perfect match. You were the perfect match, back in Hogwarts, and you still are now. All it takes is for you to have the courage to take the first step, be honest to yourself, and just tell him."

"You reckon?" she asked meekly.

"Yes, I totally reckon so, Rose," he said ever so seriously, "Don't you remember the way things used to be between you two? You were the only one he'd sneak out after dark for. You were inseparable, totally in love, even if you don't believe it."

He leaned forward towards her from across the table, looking her square in the eye, "Will you tell him, the next time he comes over? Will you let him know how you feel?"

Rose did not reply – she could feel her heart beating frantically, her hands shaking.

"Well?" Sirius whispered urgently.

She felt hot tears welling up in her eyes; she could not explain it, though she knew it was because she was giving in. And then, ever so slowly, she nodded.

"O-Okay," she replied, hastily wiping away a stray tear, "I'll do it."

Sirius, jumped up from his seat, and ran to her side, patting her reassuringly on her shoulder, while beaming ecstatically.

"Trust me, Rose, you won't regret it," he said encouragingly while handing her a tissue he had just conjured.

She accepted it, while desperately pushing away the many doubts that still plagued her mind.

--

"Kreacher?"

Rose entered the kitchen, only to find the eccentric house-elf cackling wildly. It was rather peculiar to watch, repulsive in a way, almost indecent. The house-elf looked up at her, his mouth widening in to a sinister smile.

"What's going on here?" she asked suspiciously, "I thought I heard voices."

"No one here but Kreacher, perhaps the part-veela is hearing things? Perhaps missing the filthy half-breed has made mistress touched in the head?"

"Shut up!" she snapped at him, glaring angrily as he cackled all the more madly. He had touched a nerve – it had been weeks since she had seen Remus and made her decision to tell him, and the stress had certainly gotten to her, much to Sirius' and, unfortunately, Kreachers first hand knowledge.

"Why are you in such a good mood, anyway?" she asked miserably, as she sat down, wishing it was her that was laughing freely.

"Kreacher does not need to answer to such part-breeds, how Kreachers mistress will be upset if she knew such whores lived in her –"

"Don't call me that!" she insisted angrily.

"Oh, Kreacher has heard stories, yes," he added with a laugh as he left the kitchen. Rose watched him go, shaking her head at the miserable creature.

She sat alone in the kitchen for some time, not really doing anything, reminding herself strongly of Sirius and his brooding sessions. Just when she decide that she should probably be doing something productive, she heard Kreachers voice call from the corridor, "Oh, look, here comes the half-breed now. Filthy thing, it is."

"Half-breed?" Rose repeated, as she felt the colour leave her face, "Surely not…"

She jumped up from her seat and ran to the closest window in the dim corridor and pulled back the grimy, dusk covered curtain. Sure enough, there stood Remus at the door step, hand on the handle. She jumped back from the window just in time to see the door open, and quickly arranged herself so that she looked casual, though her heart was beating frantically.

"Hello, Rose," he said, looking surprised, though pleased to see her there.

"Hi, Remus," she said in as casual a voice she could muster, "Long time no see!"

"Too long, I know," he sighed wearily, "I shouldn't have even come by today, but I couldn't help it. It's been hectic in there."

"Oh, what happened?" Rose asked.

"The usual, Amandus and his crew causing havoc. But I just had to get away… I'm exhausted. Anyway, how have you been?" he asked as he threw his cloak into the closest near the entrance.

"Oh, you know, the usual," she replied truthfully.

"That's good… still alive and kicking, it seems," he said.

Even though he smiled, Rose could see that he looked tired.

"You look tired, Remus," she commented, "Are you sure you don't want to take a nap or something?"

"You know, I honestly think I should. But first I might just have a shower and maybe some food… honestly, the bathrooms there are a nightmare, and don't even get me started on the food..."

Rose watched him ascend the stairs, and as soon as she heard the bathroom door click closed, she bolted up the stairs herself in search of Sirius.

"Sirius?" she whispered loudly, knocking loudly on the door of the room she knew he was in, keeping Buckbeak company, "Sirius, come out, Remus is here."

There was a moment's silence, and then, the door swung open, making Rose jump back in surprise.

"Where is he?" asked Sirius excitedly before he even emerged from the room.

"Having a shower," Rose said, her anxiety now obvious as she nervously massaged her fingers.

"Careful now, woman, any more pressure than that your fingers might just fall off," said Sirius, grabbing her hands and pulling them apart from each other.

"Oh, Sirius!" she cried, "I don't know if I can do this, I'm so nervous, I feel like I'm going to throw up! What he isn't interested, what if he doesn't like me that way? Just imagine if he stares at me blankly, I think I'd just die if I opened up to him and he didn't care!"

"Calm down, Rose, we've been through this. I have full confidence in the both of you," he said, sounding every bit as confident as he claimed to be, "Now come on, let's go down stairs and wait for him. We can even rehearse a little too…"

Rose let Sirius drag her down stairs, only occasionally listening to what he was actually saying. Her mind was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. She was absolutely horrified at what she was about to do, and now that it seemed so close, she could not believe she had ever agreed to do it.

"Rose? Rose! Are you even listening to me?"

Startled, she looked up, only to realise that she was seated in the kitchen, with Sirius standing in front of her, looking at her expectantly.

"Er, sorry, you said something?" she asked, sounding a little dazed.

He sighed exasperatedly.

"Yes, I was saying, do you know even know what you're going to say to him?"

She nodded. After much thinking over the past weeks, she had finally come up with the words that she was going to use, just not the courage with which to speak them.

"Well, let's hear it then," he said.

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but stoped when she heard a sound in the corridor.

"Is that him?" she gasped.

"No," replied Sirius, frowning in thought, "It was probably just Kreacher, Remus is still in the shower, I can hear the water…"

At that moment, the sound of the water faded. Rose and Sirius glanced at each other. To her surprise, Sirius even looked a little nervous. They waited for a minute, and then heard the sound of a door opening.

"Okay," muttered Sirius, patting her encouragingly on the shoulder, "Okay, just stay calm Rose, I know you can do this, I mean hey, you've done it once before, haven't you?"

Rose nodded, unable to formulate any words at that moment.

They both waited for the sound of foot steps to announce that Remus was on his way, but they did not come. Instead they heard – voices?

"What the hell?" exclaimed Sirius, looking confusedly at Rose, "Is someone here?"

Rose shook her head, "No! It's just us three! Unless – unless that sound I heard before was really someone coming in? Wait here, I'll go check."

She stood up and made her way out to the corridor and slowly up the stairs. She could definitely hear two distinct voices now, one was Remus, and the other was female, though she could not make out any words. As she came closer to the first landing, the voices stopped. Curiously, she approached slowly, complete unsure of what to expect. And then, when she was just a few steps from the landing, she saw it.

She froze. Her jaw dropped, and her breath caught in her throat, as though someone had punched her ruthlessly in the stomach.

There was Remus, obviously just having finished his shower, hair dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, engaged in a deep kiss with none other than Tonks, whose arms were quick to join the towel around his waist.

Rose chocked back a cry of horror at the site before her, and slowly made her way back down the stairs, determined not to be seen. She felt her knees giving way, her body shivering, her breath quickening, and the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Remus. _Her_ Remus, was kissing Tonks – _Tonks_, a woman thirteen years his junior! She felt the humiliation and the anger sweep over her. To think she had been ready to open up to him!

As anger and hurt surged through her body, she struggled to control herself… she could feel the flames struggling to form in her palms, but resisted it as much as she could.

She hurried down the stairs, ready to collapse into Sirius' arms, to flee from the house before anyone could see her break down. But, to her confusion, it was Sirius who came running up to her as she reached the corridor in a state of complete urgency, completely over looking her own state of shock.

"Rose! Where's Remus, we have to go, quickly! Remus, where are you?" Sirius shouted looking up the staircase, "Get down here, we have to go!"

"S-Sirius!" Rose choked, amazed that she could even formulate any words, "What's going on?"

"Harry! He had a dream that he saw me at the Ministry of Magic, in the Department of Mysteries – _Remus get down here now_ – he saw me being tortured! He thinks it's real, but it's a trap, Voldemort was trying to get him to the prophecy, and he's gone off with a bunch of kids!"

Rose felt the horror rush through her for the second time in less than a minute, "Damn it, no way! Oh, God, Sirius, they'll be killed! We've got to go after them!"

"Tonks?" cried Sirius incredulously, looking over Rose's shoulder, "What are you doing here?"

Rose looked around, and sure enough, there she was descending the stair case in a hurry, with Remus right behind her, frantically pulling on his robes. Rose felt her heart breaking at the very sight, but there was no time for that, there was more important matter to worry about now.

"Does anyone else know?" asked Tonks quickly as she rushed past Sirius towards the front door, her wand at hand, her auror instincts kicking in.

"Snape is informing Albus right now, I've already sent a patronus to as many Order members as I could think of," said Sirius, as he followed her to the door and pulled it open.

"Wait, Sirius, where are you going?" cried Rose, as she rushed forward, "You can't be thinking of coming along!"

"The hell I am!" he roared and before she could stop him, he ran outside and disapparated away before she could say another word.

"Sirius!" she cried frantically from the doorway, but she knew it was too late.

"Rose, calm down," she heard Remus say urgently, as Tonks too disapparated, "He won't listen, not now that Harry's in danger."

"Shut up, Lupin!" she yelled at him angrily, unable to contain her frustration at Sirius, at the fact that Harry and who knew how many other kids could be dying at that moment, at the damn kiss any longer.

Ignoring the look of pure shock on his face with a kind of vindictive pleasure, she grabbed her wand and hurried outside, and disapparated on the spot, appearing right outside the employee entrance of the ministry. She hurried in through the doors and could see Tonks already running forward in front of her at the end of the dark atrium, and unless her eyes were deceiving her, Sirius had just turned the corner.

She ran forward after them, her feet leading the way along the path to the Department of Mysteries that she had taken countless times before. Only this time, she did not stop at the door as she always did, but went right through it, and it was only when she opened it that she realised that Remus was right behind her.

"Which way did they go?" he asked urgently.

"I don't know!" she replied, pushing away her anger and focusing on the circular room and many doors in front of her, one of which had a large X on it, "Which bloody door are we meant to take? Do you remember what the plans said? Damn it, I don't remember at all!"

At that moment, a door opened, and Sirius and Tonks came rushing into the room.

"Wait!" cried Tonks to Sirius, "Don't close it yet!"

She raised her wand and added an X to the door, just like the one on the other.

Rose opened her mouth to tell Sirius to go back before he was spotted, but as soon as Sirius had closed the door, the room started to spin, and as soon as it stopped, another door was thrown open and Moody and Kingsley came rushing in, wands raised and looking meaner than Rose had ever seen either of them.

"Black!" exclaimed Moody, "What are you going here? Never mind, move!"

He made his way forward, pushing Remus and Sirius out of his way, causing Remus to fall on to Rose. Rose pushed him off her in annoyance. He looked at her in surprise, and what Rose suspected may have been a little hurt.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked, looking confused.

"Now's not the time," she practically growled, while doing everything she could to restrain herself from hexing him and simultaneously kissing him.

She turned her gaze to Moody instead, who was looking at each door in turn, and Rose realised then that his eye could see through the doors.

"This one!" he grunted, "Wands up, everyone! Constant vigilance!"

He opened the door, and Rose knew immediately that it was the right choice, from the chaotic sounds that ensued.

They rushed in to the room and Rose was only able to register it's sheer size and the presence of a huge tank filled with green liquid and objects she could not identify before the spells started coming their way.

"_Protego_!" Rose cried in reflex, caused a spell to rebound and hit an adjacent wall.

She gasped as she realised the sheer number of Death Eaters in the room.

"Rose, look after the kids!" she heard Moody command as he battled with a rather portly Death Eater.

"Kids?" she exclaimed, and it was only then that she noticed Hermione lying unconsciously on the floor, Ginny Weasley besides her, her brother Ron giggling feebly and a girl with blonde hair who she did not recognise groaning against a wall.

"Rose!"

She turned to see Sirius standing right in front of her, thrusting something into her hands.

"For later!" he shouted over his shoulder as he ran away from her ran to join the battle.

Bewildered, Rose looked at the small glass vile Sirius had given her, and then shoved it in her pockets, focusing instead on the chaos before her.

"Ginny!" she cried, as she ran up to the girl, "What's happened to Hermione?"

"I don't know, I don't know!" Ginny cried frantically, "She was hit with a spell, and she just fell unconscious, and Ron – he's acting all weird, he got attacked by a brain –"

"A brain?" Rose exclaimed incredulously.

Ginny pointed over at the large tank in the centre of the room, and she suddenly realised that it was indeed filled with looked like human brains.

"Will Hermione be okay?" asked Ginny anxiously.

Rose looked back at Hermione. She had no idea what would become of her, but she reassured Ginny all the same.

"We need to get you lot out of here, can you walk?"

"No – my ankle –"

But she was cut off by a spell that only just missed Rose's shoulder.

She spun around and saw the wizard who had aimed at her – the only one who was not involved in the battle.

"_Stupefy_!" she shouted, hitting the wizard square in the chest.

She turned back to the four teenagers, her head was spinning – there was no way she could get them out with the battle ragging around them. Instead, she did the next best thing that she could think of.

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!" she cried, lifting the still laughing Ron up in the air and settling him down next to the two girls. The blonde haired girl joined them shortly.

"What are you –" the girl started hysterically, but she was cut off as Rose lifted her wand and cast a large protective, clear shield around them. It would not last for long, but it was sturdy and no spell could penetrate it. Only the likes of Dumbledore and Voldemort would know how to take it down. She only hoped it was the former who did so and not the later.

Just then, another spell flew past her, barely missing her, and she spun around, determined to join the fight. To her surprise, the room was empty – she had been left alone with two Death Eaters who stood together on the far side of the large room.

"This ones mine," said one of them greedily, licking his lips. The other Death Eater – a female rolled her eyes.

"Now isn't the time, Amycus!" she snapped.

Horrified, Rose realised he had more than duelling on his mind. And given that she was currently out numbered, she did not like her odds.

"_Expelliarmus_!" she shouted, aiming at the male, Amycus, causing his wand to go flying across the room.

He swore loudly as he ran after it, though Rose had no time to dwell on him – she aimed her wand at the female, who had also raised hers.

"_Stupify_!"

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

The two curses collided in mid-air, and reflected in opposite directions, dying out as they hit the walls. Taking advantage of the distraction, Rose ran towards the large tank and hid behind it, using it as a shield. She could see the children from where she stood. Ginny and the girl were watching in terror, but at least they were safe.

"Don't kill her, Alecto!" shouted Amycus at the woman, "She's part veela, can't you tell? We could take her in alive!"

"We aren't here to run a concubine service, you idiot!" the woman shouted back, "The mudblood lover deserves to die!"

Taking advantage of their moment of distraction, Rose jumped out from behind the glass tank and took aim,

"_Stupify_!"

But again she missed – they were too far away. She jumped back behind the tank again, just as another cry of Avada Kedavera and a flash of green light lit the room.

"Stop it, stop it! Don't kill her!"

"Shut up, Amycus!"

"That's it – _stupify_!" shouted Amycus, and Rose, in utter shock, realised that he had indeed just attacked his fellow Death Eater.

"_Idiot_," she muttered, before running around to the other side of the tank as quietly as she could, hoping to attack him from behind.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

Her wand flew from her hand and before she knew what had happened, Amycus had her pinned against the glass tank with one arm pressed tightly against her throat, and the other holding his wand against her temple. His face was only inches from her own – his lopsided leer made her sick.

"Well, what have we here?" he muttered, letting out a wheezy giggle, "How did a filthy bloody traitor like yourself get to be so pretty? And all… alone?"

He leaned forward, closing the gap between them, licking the side of her face.

"Get away from me!" she shouted in disgust, turning her face away from his as she struggled against him.

"Let's not forget who has the wand, hey?" he said threateningly, and Rose froze as he pressed it up against her neck, his other hand now running along her side, pulling at clasps at the front of her robes as he tried to rip them open.

"Come on, come on," he muttered impatiently.

A hundred thoughts raced through her mind. He couldn't – he wouldn't! Not here, not while there was a battle raging just in the next room, not with Ginny and Luna the girl watching their every move. And yet, at that very moment, he tore open her robes, only to find that she wearing jeans and a t-shirt underneath.

He swore loudly, tugging at her jeans, and at that moment, the events of the evening finally overwhelmed her, and she snapped . She felt her palms burst in a blaze of raging fire and instinctively grabbed the man in the face. He screamed, letting go of her and stumbling aside, his hands clasped to his face.

Rose took a moment to regain control of herself, her eyes closed tight shut, her breathing ragged and her hands clasped in tight fists, she forced herself to regain control of her body. A moment later, she felt the flames retreat, and she was in control. She looked up, searching around frantically for her wand. Amycus was still sprawled on the floor, howling in pain, the skin on his face a raw reddish-pink. With a sigh of relief she spotted her wand just metres away and ran for towards it, her hands out stretched –

"_Crucio_!"

The spell hit her square in the chest and she fell on to the floor screaming in agony, as what felt like a thousand white-hot knives pierced through her skin, in to her very bones. She screamed and screamed and screamed until she thought she could scream no more – it was pain like she had never known it, surely, she was going to die.

And then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped, and two hands were forcing her on to her feet.

"Rose! Are you okay?"

"Kingsley?" she asked confusedly, her head spinning like a top. She was hardly aware of anything other than the sweat covering her body and the two hands holding her steadily up right.

Shaking her head, she stepped away from him, only just managing to stand on her own two feet. She looked around, and saw that Remus was duelling fiercely with Alecto – she realised now that it was her who had attacked her, somehow having come free of Amycus' hex.

"Didn't like that one, huh, did you, you filthy half-breed dog!" she heard Alecto shout, cackling madly as she ducked for cover behind a desk, "Got a soft spot for the lady, do you?"

"_Reducto_!" shouted Remus, obliterating the desk to dust, but the woman was too fast.

She jumped out from behind the desk before rubble, aimed her wand directly at Rose and shouted –

"_Windardium leviosa_!"

Rose screamed as she felt her self flung high up into the air, fixed precariously some ten metres above the brain tank.

"Get me down!" she cried, her eyes fixated on the freakish tentacles of the brains below her. She did not know what they would do, but after knowing that they had actually attacked Ron, she did not want to find out.

"Don't do anything funny now!" shouted Alecto, sounding desperate, as though she knew she was cornered.

"Let her down!" Remus insisted firmly, though he too sounded shaken.

"Only if you give me Amycus!"

Rose saw from the corner of her eye that Kinglsey had Amycus held unconscious, pinned against a wall. It was only then that she realised how alike the two were in appearance – siblings, no doubt.

"Let her down!" demanded Remus again.

"Give me him!"

Rose looked up at Alecto – she looked frantic, and Rose knew she would let her drop if given the chance, and that all it would take was for her to move her wand away from her.

"Don't be rash, Lupin!" she shouted at him anxiously.

"Oh, so she doesn't use the first name then, does she? Perhaps she isn't as dear as I first though? Maybe I should just… let her drop –"

"No!" shouted Remus.

With those words, Rose felt her self drop a metre before stopping suddenly. She screamed again, and looked back at Alecto, who was looking intently at her brother. And then, she felt it before she even saw it, Alecto lowered her wand, and Rose heard her shouting what sounded like "Accio Amycus", but she could not be sure, for the rush of the air in her ears blocked out all other sounds. And she from the corner of her eye she saw Remus aimed his wand at her, but it was too late – she hit the green liquid with a sickening splash, the water filling her mouth and nostrils, choking her and stinging painfully at her eyes. It felt like acid against her skin. She tried to orient her self, but she knew it was in vain as she felt rather than saw the many brain tentacles attaching themselves, leech-like to her skin, burning her, sucking at her flesh, and then, she knew no more…


	30. Waking Up

Her senses seemed to have left her, but she knew she was surrounded by darkness; it was as though she were swimming in it. But she was not swimming at all; she was lying on her back, unmoving. She doubted she would be able to move her limbs, even if she tried. She was aware of little else, though slowly that started to change. She could hear something in the distance, growing louder and louder with every second. She fought against the unconsciousness that threatened to overwhelm her…

And then, she opened her eyes. Light flooded her from all directions, blinding her. She forced her eyes shut again, grimacing and groaning loudly as she did so. She noticed how coarse the sound was, as though she had not spoken in ages.

Somewhere nearby someone gasped, and she heard the sound of glass breaking. She opened her eyes, slowly this time, allowed her pupils to adjust to the blinding light that she now realised was not blinding at all. She blinked several times, adjusting her focus. The shocked face of a young, blue eyed man in his early twenties was staring back at her.

Without warning he jumped back, gone from Roses sight, but she could hear his exuberant screams.

"Healer Padraic, Healer Padraic! She's awake, come quick, Miss Wilson is awake!"

Quickly enough Rose realised she was in a hospital, and at that moment all she that occupied her attention was the extreme stiffness of her muscles and the dizziness that she felt as she tried in vain to sit up.

The young man come hurriedly back into the room, follow closely by a greying though kindly looking man who Rose assumed was Healer Padraic. He looked shocked as his eyes landed on her, though relieved.

"Try not to move, Miss Wilson, remain lying down, you're not well enough," he said as he approached her hurriedly, and then turned hurried to the young man and said, "Liam, Dumbledore will want to be informed."

"Yes, Healer Padriac, sir," he said, before scurrying out of the room.

Rose did as the healer told her, not wanting to battle against her stiff limbs.

"What's going on?" she managed to ask weakly, her voice oddly hoarse, "Where am I?"

"St Mungos, Miss Wilson, don't panic now, you're under good care," he said kindly as he pulled back her covers and began examining her with an odd device she had never seen before.

She let him carry on with his task; however his instructions not to panic had alarmed her. What was she doing in hospital? Did she have good reason to panic? She could not remember what had happened at all…

The healer put away the device, and then instructed her to sit up. Realising that she did not have the strength to do so, he assisted her, and then crossed to the other side of the room, which Rose now noticed was rather spacious, though perhaps that was because it did not contain any other beds. It was oddly white, with a pleasant large window to her right. She could see the snow falling gently outside. The Healer returned with a goblet in his hands.

"Here, take this, it will help with the stiffness," he said as he handed her the goblet.

She took it from him obligingly, and raised to her lips, downing it in one go. It was immediately effective, she could feel her muscles becoming more movable with every passing second, which made up for the potions horrible taste, though, unfortunately, Healer Padraic did not seem to be done.

"This one is for your strength," he said as he handed her another goblet.

She was about to raise it to her lips when she noticed the colour of the potion… it was green. She frowned at it, wondering why it seemed so familiar, and then, she remembered.

"The kids!" she cried, dropping the goblet, not caring that the potion had stained her sheets.

She heard Healer Padraic gasp. She turned to him, trying to get out of bed.

"What happened to the kids?" she asked frantically as he the healer tried to push her back into bed, "What happened, are they okay? Oh no, the last thing I remember was falling into a tank filled with brains! What happened to Ginny? And Ron, Hermione and that other girl? And _Harry_?!"

"Miss Wilson, please!" cried the healer and he pushed her back down, "The kids are all fine, there was no lasting injury!"

Feeling relieved, Rose sat back down on the bed, though her head was spinning.

"And – and what happened, after I fell in the tank?" she asked weakly.

"You fell unconscious," he said, looking relieved that she had calmed down, "That tank was filled with preservatives and other things, many of which wear toxins, and you swallowed a fair bit. Add the brains attacking you, and you were comatose in seconds. You were rather close to death actually, your friends were rather worried, but we managed to help you through. Now, as much as I'm sure you're burning with questions, I honestly don't know much about what happened, and even if I did, I doubt I would be the best person to explain. I do, however, need to look over you some more, if you don't mind, so I came make sure all is well."

Rose nodded in agreement and let the healer carry on with his work while her own mind wondered back to that night. There were so many questions she was burning to ask. She wondered what had happened after she fell in the tank, whether Alecto and Amycus had been restrained, whether Remus had made it out okay…

Remus. She felt bitterness sweep over her as she remembered what she had seen between him and Tonks. It tore at her heart, and now that she was free of the distractions of that nights escapade, the full implications began to wash over her and she blinked rapidly to hold back the tears that threatened to drop.

He had chosen another over her… a younger woman too, much younger than herself. The shame, hurt and rejection, the disbelief that he would had left her when she was aged twenty-one, and was now falling for a woman who was hardly twenty-three.

Or at least, she assumed he was falling for her, or perhaps he had already fallen. She did not know, but Remus was certainly not the type to be caught kissing a different woman every week. Her hopes that she had misunderstood seemed futile in the harsh face of reality.

And then, there had been the way she had treated him that night – rudely, cruelly, and his look of hurt bewilderment in response. Of course, he could not have known that she had seen. But what truly tugged at her heart at that moment was how close she had come to dying that night while angry with him, and him hurt by her. As confused as she was at the moment, there was one thing that was clear in her mind, she did not want to die – or him to die – while angry at him, and in the war that they are fighting now, life was a certainty for no one.

After a short time, the healer was satisfied and left after instructing her to try to get some sleep and not over-exert herself. Rose obliged, though by the time sleep overcame her, her pillow was wet with tears.

--

Rose awoke suddenly to the sound of excited voices in her room.

"Oh, look, she's awake!" she heard someone cry.

She turned to over to her right side and saw that a number of people had gathered around her. It was Faylinn who had spoken, and she jumped forward happily, tears in her eyes, and took Rose's hand in her own. Arthur and Molly Weasley stood behind her, both of them beaming down at her, Molly too had tears in her eyes. Dumbledore stood by the window, watching the scene before him, also smiling gently.

"Rose, we were so worried! I'm so glad you're alright!" continued Faylinn, as she hastily wiped away her tears, "You can't imagine how stressful it's been!"

Rose managed to smile weakly at her as she slowly sat up in bed, Molly hurrying forward to help her.

"Thank you, Molly," she said.

"Don't mention it dear," she replied fondly, as she started to straighten out her bed sheets for her, "After you helped our children, it's the least we can do."

"Yes," added Arthur, "We're so grateful, Rose, for everything. And you sure did give us quite the fright. I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that the two Death Eaters you were duelling were sent straight to Azkaban."

"That's good to hear," Rose replied, shivering slightly as she remembered Amycus.

"The young Miss Weasley told us what happened," spoke Dumbledore, stepping forward, "About how you protected her and the others and duelled with the Death Eaters. I thank you. Your quick thinking meant that they were not harmed any more than they had been before you arrived."

"It was nothing," she said weakly, "I'm just glad they are okay. What happened, after I fell in the tank? How did I get out? What happened to the other Death Eaters, and the prophecy?"

"Fortunately, Remus was able to get you out of the tank fairly quickly, though not without sustaining a few injuries from the brains himself. He cleaned you off as best he could and then apparated you directly here."

Rose nodded. So Remus had saved her… she owed him her life. Rose hoped that the others did not notice that her hands were shaking as Dumbledore went on to explain how the prophecy had been lost, how Voldemort himself had appeared at the Ministry, finally forcing Fudge to admit that the Dark Lord has risen again.

"Oh," she said in realisation, "That's why you're here, you're not wanted anymore, are you?"

"Fortunately, no," he said happily, "I'm glad to see that you are better now, Rose. If you'll excuse me, I'd best be off before my school falls apart in my absence."

Rose watched him leave, and then turned back to the others, though something else caught her eye, something she had noticed earlier, but over looked.

"Wait a minute, it's snowing outside?" she said slowly, "But it's the middle of June. The sun should be shining! I didn't know St Mungo's had an artificial weather department."

For some reason, the three adults before her looked uneasily at each other. Faylinn looked rather pale and Arthur was avoiding her eyes.

"What?" she asked, feeling a sense of unease.

"You know, Molly, I do rather feel like a cup of tea –if you'll excuse me for a moment."

He hurried out of the room, leaving Rose feeling none the calmer.

"Molly, Faylinn, what is it?" she asked again.

"Rose," said Faylinn tentatively, looking rather nervous and apologetic, "St Mungo's doesn't have a weather department, it really is snowing outside."

Rose frowned, brushing her long hair out of her face (which, she suddenly notice, was significantly longer than she had remembered it being…).

"I'm really sorry, Rose dear," said Molly anxiously, stepping forward to take her hand in her own, her eyes suddenly teary again, "But it isn't June. It's January. You - you've been in a coma for almost seven months."

Rose felt her jaw drop, and her hands trembling.

"S-seven months?" she stuttered. She turned to Faylinn, hoping that she might contradict the news, but her wide tearful eyes hinted at nothing but confirmation.

"We've been so worried. It's been hard. I've visited you almost daily, seeing as how I work just upstairs."

"But it's okay now," said Molly quickly, handing Rose a tissue to wipe away the tears now streaming down her face, "You're okay, you woke up. You didn't die. That's what matters, Rose, dear."

Rose nodded absently, shocked by the news, all too aware of her own mortality for her comfort. Molly and Faylinn stayed a little longer, with Arthur joining them with his cup of tea a few minutes later, looking rather sheepish under his wife's reproachful glare.

They left a little while later, and Rose was once again left with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company. She was looking forward to returning to Grimmauld place – if there was anyone who could help her clear her thoughts, it was Sirius. After all, it was he who had convinced her to tell Remus how she felt. She tried not to wonder how far Remus had progressed with his relationship with Tonks over the past seven months…

Her health improved steadily over the following few days. During that time Faylinn had visited her everyday during her lunch breaks, and before leaving work, and Molly would stop by daily as well. She was grateful for their company, for it distracted her from her disturbing thoughts. A number of Order members had also dropped by, including Kingsley, Bill Weasley, and Moody. Remus was not one of them.

"Faylinn," said Rose one day, when it was just the two of them, "Have you seen Remus lately?"

She hoped that the question came across as casual, and luckily, Faylinn did not seem to be suspicious at all.

"No, I haven't actually. You're wondering why he hasn't visited, aren't you?" she said, smiling knowingly, "I don't think he knows you've awoken, to be honest. He's still spending lots of time with the other werewolves. More than before, even. He hasn't been at head quarters in a while, and I know that he can't accept any owls either, so I really doubt that he knows."

"Oh, okay," she said, relieved. His extended absence, coupled with the fact that Tonks had not visited either, had made her worry as to whether he had been avoiding her on purpose.

"And do you know why Tonks hasn't visit either?" she asked.

Faylinn looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Tonks has been avoiding everyone for a long time now, actually," she said sadly.

"What? Why?" Rose replied in surprise.

"Well, I guess no one has told you, but she, uh, actually fancies Professor Lupin. Quite a lot, too, to be honest. But he's being pretty stubborn, and refuses to have anything to do with her. She's been pretty depressed by it all. Can't morph or anything at all."

Rose felt her jaw drop, and she looked at Faylinn in shock.

"I know," she replied, nodding her head vigorously, "The poor girl, she's so distraught… she really loves him, that much is obvious to anyone, but he keeps refusing her, saying stupid things like she deserves someone better, someone younger, someone who isn't a werewolf."

Through her shock, Rose struggled to hide her relief. She had been dreading that next time she would see him, he would be a married man, but the reality seemed far from it.

"And – I mean, did he say whether he likes her, or not?" asked Rose, breath held slightly, remembering, grudgingly, the kiss that she had witnessed.

"See that's the thing, he won't say. He hasn't denied it, not directly anyway, but he won't admit he likes her either. He only gives those excuses I just told you about. But the thing is – that night, just before the break in at the ministry, Tonks actually kissed him, and he kissed her back. She keeps bringing that up as proof that he cares for her, but he won't confirm it."

Rose nodded gravely, and then she remembered something…

"Wait a minute, Faylinn," she said slowly, "How does this make you feel? Do you still like Remus?"

Faylinn giggled suddenly, looking embarrassed and blushing slightly, "Well, I mean, yeh, I guess I do… But it doesn't bother me, if that's what you mean."

"Why not?" asked Rose, surprised.

"Well, it's not like him and I stand any chance together, it would never happen. And I know I don't love him, like Tonks does, I only fancy him. And I just want him to be happy. He certainly isn't very happy now, but I'm sure he would be if he just stopped being so stubborn and let Tonks deciding for herself, instead of him deciding for her… as long as he's happy, I'm happy."

Rose nodded, smiling faintly, "That's very mature of you Fay, very wise also. I'm impressed."

And indeed, she was, though she highly doubted that she would able to take such an outlook, she knew that to see them together would only serve to further break her already fragile heart.

It was a week and half after Rose had awoken that Healer Padriac finally allowed her to be discharged from the hospital, though not without more warnings against over exertion. Rose was happy to finally be free, but dreaded what faced her at Grimmauld Place. It was fortunate that Remus visited so rarely, for it was his company that scared her most, though she was also cautious of how she would behave around Tonks. She would have to keep her emotions tightly in check, and her expression passive, if she wished for her feelings for Remus to remain a secret.

"Ready, Rose?" asked Faylinn, as she stood by the door, holding her a bag filled with the clothes Rose had been wearing on that night. Someone had thought to wash them for her, though they still had an odd kind of smell, and so Rose had not bothered wearing them.

"You know," said Rose as she he completed her last minute check of the room, to ensure that she left nothing behind, "I'm sure I have enough strength to carry my own bags."

"You heard Healer Padriac, no over-exertion!"

Rose smiled and stepped forward to follow Faylinn through the halls of the hospital. There was no need to disguise herself anymore – she had already made her existence known to the death eaters, and even if the Carrows had not had the chance to inform the others, the Daily Prophet had announced her presence for the world to know. Apparently the thought of a part-veela fighting for Dumbledores Order had been too exciting a story to miss.

"Come, this way," ushered Faylinn.

"Where will we be disapparating from?" asked Rose, uncomfortably aware of the stares of passing individuals.

"From the Staff Apparation Point, just at the end of this corridor. You wouldn't normally be able to use it, but I've been given permission to let your through this way. Safer, you know."

Rose followed her into a small room – hardly any bigger than a broom closest.

"Ready?" asked Faylinn, "Here, take my hand, we can do side-along apparation. It'll be easier for you."

She was not ready. Not really. But what choice did she have? She could only hope that Remus was not there, though Faylinn did say there was a meeting that would have finished only minutes ago… what if Remus had attended?

She took a deep breath and took Faylinn's hand in her own, and allowed herself to be whisked away, and an extremely uncomfortable moment later, she was standing at the door step of the Grimmauld Place, Faylinn on her one side, and Severus Snape on her other.

"Rose," he said, looking very taken-aback by her sudden appearance. "It's good to see that you're well. Well, I must hurry off. Good night."

And with a swirl of his black robes, he was gone, before she could even say a word.

The corridor inside was packed – clearly, the meeting had only just ended. It took Rose a good five minutes to make it through to the kitchen, for people kept stopping her to express their happiness that she had finally awoken from her coma. Amongst them was Tonks, who looked clearly down-cast, her hair a plain mousy-brown. Unlike the others however, she did not leave, but went down into the kitchen with Faylinn.

"Er, well it was good seein' yeh, take care, lovely," said Mundungus Fletcher as he swayed in his spot. Someone really needed to keep that man away from the firewshisky, thought Rose.

As he shut the door behind him, Rose was free descend into the kitchen where she found Arthur and Bill Weasley, arguing about some matter, Tonks, looking so sadly and intently at the table top that it was a wonder her gaze did not burn a hole right through it, Molly busy with some dish or other, Faylinn talking animatedly with –

"Rose!" cried Remus, jumping up so suddenly from his seat that Faylinn gave a yelp of surprise. He ran forward towards her, looking as though he could not believe his eyes, "You're okay! You woke up!"

And before Rose knew what was happening, he had his arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. She stiffened at his touch, forcing herself not to enjoy it, painstakingly reminding herself that his heart was potentially owned by another.

He pulled away from her, but did not move from her side, "You woke up," he said again, his eyes fixed intently on hers, the shock and relief both evident, "When did this happen? I can't believe no one thought to tell me! I was so worried – it had been so long, I thought perhaps, perhaps –"

He did not seem able to speak the words, and so Rose cut him off.

"I understand, Remus. You don't have to say it."

He shook his head as he led her to a seat at the table, next to Faylinn. He sat down on her other side. Tonks was watching both now; it did not escape her notice how pained her expression was. Rose suspected she had remained here against her better judgement. Remus, it seemed, was avoiding looking at her.

"You couldn't possibly understand… It was horrible, when I pulled you out of the tank, you were so… lifeless. We thought we'd lost you. And then, when you wouldn't wake for months and the Healers weren't sure you ever would…"

"So I've been told," said Rose softly, cutting him off again. Though his words touched her, it was rather unnerving to herself being spoken about in such terms, "It seems though, that I have you to thank for that. You pulled me out of the tank before it was too late."

"Yes, of course I did. Did you think I would just leave you there to die?" he said, looking grim.

"You save my life," she said simply, "Thank you."

And with that, she leaned over, and kissed him quickly on the cheek, before she lost the courage to do it.

Blushing ever so slightly, and not meeting her eyes, he replied, "It was nothing."

Uncomfortably aware of Tonks' annoyed expression, Rose sought to change the subject.

"Er, so where is Sirius, anyway?" she said quickly, frowning slightly, "I'd have expect him to be excited to see me."

Suddenly, inexplicably, Remus turned ghostly white, Faylinn squeaked, the sound of glass shattering filled the room as Molly dropped a cup she was holding, Tonks looked at her with her jaw dropped and Arthur and Bill fell silent.

"W-what?" asked Rose nervously, looking from one anxious face to another.

"No one told her?" asked Remus sharply, looking around the room.

Molly shook her head.

"Told me what?" she asked, the dread inside her mounting, "Tell me now Remus! What is it?"

"Rose – I – I don't know how to say it –" he said, looking at her with hesitation and – was it fear? – plastered across his face.

"Just say it, Remus," she demanded.

"Rose, that night, in the ministry… Sirius – he never came back… he fell through the veil. I'm so sorry Rose, but Sirius is gone. He's dead."

* * *

**A/N - A few surprises here I guess. Poor Rose, finding out that Sirius is dead! She's got some hard times ahead of her.. poor girl. Now, more importantly, I've recently started to reconsider whether this fic will be Remus/Tonks or Remus/Rose. I know I've said all along with it will be Remus/Tonks, but it's so tempting to go back to it being Remus/Rose. So think I will take a poll, of sorts. **Please mention in your reviews whether you want the story to be Remus/Tonks or Remus/Rose**. I'll take your replies seriously! Thanks!**


	31. Part Veela

Rose did not think she would ever forget that night. She would never forget the look on Remus' face when he broke the news to her, the cold feeling that seemed to chill her very bones, the sudden urge to throw up, or the fresh tears that streamed down her face. She would never forget the way she collapsed in Remus' arms, and cried her heart out on his shoulder, or the way he sat with her for well over an hour, his robes absolutely drenched by the time Rose could pull away.

Most of all, she would never forget Sirius, her friend, her comforter, her equal.

Sometimes, if she sat still long enough, she could almost hear him laughing, could almost hear his footsteps as he climbed the stairs, could almost see his face pop out from behind her bedroom door, asking her is she ever planned to wake up at all. Almost.

Wiping away her tears, Rose put away the photo album she had been looking at for the past hour. She had flicked through it so many times in the days since she had found out about his death that it was as though she had had it memorised already. She had lost loved ones before; she knew the pain would dwindle away eventually, she knew that the pictures would not bring them back, that life must go one, even though it hurts.

She took out her wand to magically remove her tears, grateful for the company that the evenings meeting would provide. It had been very lonely here at head quarters, now that Sirius was gone and Remus spends most his time with the werewolves. Albus had decided that it was still early for her to be given work for the Order since she needed more time to recover, both emotionally and physically. While she knew he meant well, the lack of action in her life meant that she had nothing to distract her from her thoughts. She would occasionally visit Molly, however; she had come to depend on such visits for maintaining her sanity.

And so now, barely a week following her arrival at Grimmauld Place, she was descending the stairs to the kitchen, for her first meeting in many months, wondering whether Remus would be there again. When she entered the room and scanned face after face with her eyes, only to realise that he was not there. She did not know whether she was relieved or disappointed. On one hand, she would love to see him, simply because it is him, and yet on the other, she was horrified of what she might discover in terms of his relationship – or lack thereof – with Tonks.

Rose entered the room as quietly as she could and took a seat near Molly, not wanting anyone else to talk to her, or see that she was upset. The seats to her right were empty, and she could see Tonks, her hair still a dull mousey brown, talking quietly with Faylinn a few seats away. Although she felt guilty for feeling the way she did, Rose did not feel much remorse for the girl, seeing as how it was her man she was after.

"Hello, Rose, dear," said Molly, smiling welcomingly at her, "Here, have a brownie, I just made them this morning."

"Thank you, Molly," said Rose, smiling weakly as she helped herself. Molly's cooking could always lift even the worst of moods.

"I haven't seen you for a few days, how have you been coping?" Molly asked, unable to keep the concern out of her voice.

"I'm coping, better than yesterday, that's for sure," she said with a weak attempt at a reassuring smile.

Molly patted her hand, "Give time dear. Remus was just like you, after it happened, he moved on, eventually. Of course, he had other things to worry about now."

"What do you mean?" asked Rose curiously, after quickly checking that no one was listening.

"I think you already know about him and Tonks, don't you?" Molly asked.

Rose nodded, trying her best to look indifferent, "Faylinn did mention some things, but not in any great detail."

"Yes, well, I can see that is has been causing him much distress, knowing the depression Tonks is going through, because of him. Poor Tonks, she hasn't been the same since."

"Do you think, I mean, do you reckon maybe Remus likes her?" asked Rose.

Molly bit her lip, frowning, "That's the thing, I just don't know. He hasn't denied it, but he hasn't said he likes her either. He just keeps trying to convince her that she can do better."

"Hmm. Well, look, I've known Remus for a long time… I can't help but wonder that maybe, if he didn't like her – and let's just say he didn't – and he can see how much she likes him, maybe he just can't bring himself to say that he doesn't like her back? In case that really upsets her? So instead he tries to convince her that she can do better than him."

It was a theory that had been playing on her thoughts for a while, and she was eager to see what someone else on the matter.

Molly looked uncertain, "Well, I guess that is possible, but it doesn't make much sense either, I mean, what he's doing now isn't helping much – I've never seen a girl so heart-broken! It would seem that just telling her that he isn't interested would at least help her move on."

"You're forgetting who we're talking about, Molly. This is Remus, unfortunately, he can't see things the way the rest of us do," she replied softly, "It isn't often that people accept him for who he is, even less common for a woman to love him, and so, when he finds himself loved by others, he can't stand to hurt them. And given that rejection is more or less the main constant of his life, to him, it would seem that to reject her outright would cause her much more pain than to simply say that he isn't good enough."

Molly looked at her in surprise, "You think so?"

"Yes, I do. Of course, then there's the other side of the coin that says he might actually like her but just won't admit it because he thinks he isn't good enough," she murmured.

Molly was about to reply, but a voice cut them off.

"Anabelle? Or should I say, Rose?" someone from behind her said, sounding both excited and apprehensive.

Rose turned around to see a man with long blonde hair and blue eyes looking at her – Lachlan! And standing there, with him – her heart skipped a beat – was Remus.

"Lachlan! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the meeting. I've been here a few times now, while you were, you know…" he said, trailing off uncomfortably, "Remus told me all about it. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Thanks, Lochie," she replied with a smile.

Before they could converse any further, however, Dumbledore entered, and so the meeting began. Remus took the seat next to her, while Lachlan sat down next to him.

Even though it was her first meeting in a long time (although it felt just like yesterday), Rose was extremely distracted. Lachlan knew that she was Anabelle. That alone, she could live with, but would Lachlan remember how she had talked to him about her past self, about how he admitted that he had liked her in her youth? Somehwo, she did not think he would appreciate that too much. Hopefully he would not bring it up.

An hour later, the meeting came to an end, however, to Rose's surprise, only a very small number of people stood up to leave. Everyone else remained seated and shot expectant looks at Molly as they chatted with the people seated next to them. Molly stood up and joined her husband at the end of the table, where they communicated in hushed voices, Faylinn joining them seconds later.

Rose, confused, turned to Remus, who was smiled expectantly.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"You'll see," was all he said, his smile growing as he turned to exchange a few words with Lachlan.

Rose, not at all satisfied with his answer, was about to interrogate him further, before she could, however, the lights were dimmed and she could hardly make out his outline.

Over the excited chatter, a voice called out.

"Hey, everyone, can I have your attention please!"

Though she could not see, Rose immediately recognised the voice as Faylinn's.

"Thanks everyone for being here, I hope our message wasn't too late notice for anymore," she continued.

Message? What message? Thought Rose. She had not received any sort of message.

"Now, of course, I'm sure all of you know why we are here tonight, and that is to celebrate the recovery of a good friend of ours. A woman most of us have known for a very short time but have come to love regardless. Rose, this one's for you!"

There was a bang, and suddenly the lights were back on, revealing a completely transformed room. The walls were decorated, the table was covered with food and there was a large banner on the wall across her that read "Welcome back, Rose. We knew you'd pull through!"

Rose stared at the banner, flabbergasted as everyone around her stood up and clapped and cheered for her. Remus nudged her, indicating for her to stand up, and he gave her a quick hug, which was soon followed by hugs and hand shakes from all around. By the time everyone had sat down again and started on the delicious food in front of them, she was still in shock.

"Wow," she said, turning to Remus, "All this for me?"

"Yes," he replied, as he stacked his plate with food, "I told you, you couldn't imagine how stressed you had us all when you took so long to wake up. Molly and Faylinn came up with the idea."

Rose beamed, "That's so lovely of them!"

She looked around the table, taking in the happy faces, her own smile becoming bitter sweet when she said softly, "I wish Sirius could have been here, he'd have enjoyed his."

Remus smiled solemnly at her and patted her hand reassuringly, "He'd have been pleased to know you made it out of the coma, more than anything."

"I guess so," she said, unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice, "Also, Remus, I just wanted to say thank you, for being there for me last week, when – when –"

"You're most welcome, Rose," he replied, while giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, letting her know that he understood, before letting go.

From the corner of her eye, Rose saw Tonks glaring at her before she stood up and left the room. Feeling uneasy, she glanced at Remus and saw that he was staring determinedly at his plate, frowning slightly. Besides him, Lachlan stood up.

"I'm going to see if she's okay," he said to Remus, who nodded in reply.

An awkward silence fell between them. Rose did not know what to say, and Remus was avoiding eye contact, focusing on his food with a little too much attention to be believable. Rose had yet to discuss the topic of Tonks' new found interest with him, and somehow, she was not feeling up to the challenge of bringing it up at the moment.

"So, erm, how long has Lachlan been here, then?" she asked instead, when the silence between them became too deafening.

"A few months," Remus answered, "Albus decided it was time he meet with the rest of the Order and started attending meetings."

"Oh. How did he find out about me?" asked Rose curiously.

"He asked me where I was going one night, when I went to visit you at hospital. I figured I have better tell him, he would have seen it in the papers anyway. They made quite the fuss about it you know, but for all the wrong reasons," he added, giving her a kind of half smile, "Part-veela working for the Order. Mind you, he was down-right shocked to find out that you were Anabelle all along."

Rose laughed, "I can imagine he would have been. I actually spoke to him one day, after I found out who he was. I pretended I wanted to know about your past love life so I could figure out much he remembers about me. I can't imagine he'd be too happy knowing he was talking to me about me all along."

Remus, to Roses vast relief, laughed as well, "No, he wasn't actually. You should have seen him blushing when he remembered that!"

"Yes, I think you owe me a bit of an explanation for that one, Rose."

Rose gasped and almost dropped the cup of water she was holding. Lachlan, who had just spoken, was standing behind her. He gave her a quick smile before turning to Remus saying, with a more sombre expression,

"Tonks would like a word with you Remus. She's just in the corridor."

Remus nodded grimly and excused himself. Rose watched him leave, wanting to follow him and listen to what Tonks had to say, but knowing she could never pull it off. Looking across the room, she saw Faylinn looking at the door, biting her lip in worry. Rose turned to Lachlan, who had resumed his seat.

"Is she okay, Lachlan?" she asked, arranging her feature into an expression of concern.

Lachlan signed and shook his head.

"I wish I could say she was. I really do," he said earnestly, "She's a nice girl, he's really putting her through some tough times."

With a flicker of annoyance at his words, and guilt for her lack of compassion for Tonks, Rose said, "It isn't his fault, he told her his decision. She should accept that, even if it hurts."

Lachlan looked at her carefully and said, "You didn't give up, back at Hogwarts. Remus said no to you heaps of times and you didn't let that stop you."

Rose actually laughed.

"I was fifteen," she said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And besides, he didn't tell me why he said no. He just pretended he didn't like me, and it was so obvious he was lying. I wasn't going to give up that easily. Anyway, he told her exactly why it wouldn't work out. She should respect his decision."

"You think so?" said Lachlan, frowning slightly as he thought, "Maybe if he weren't so irrational, then I'd agree, but his reasons are stupid, she shouldn't give in."

Rose raised an eyebrow, "You think she can convince him?"

"You don't?" he asked.

"He's giving her the same excuses he gave me when he broke up with me," she said, struggling to keep her tone friendly, "And we were together for six years. If it was good enough for him then, you can bet it will be good enough now. Not to mention, he and I didn't have the age gap issue, either."

"Hmm," he replied, looking thoughtful, as he brushed his hair out of his eyes, "Well, you've got a point, but I mean, still, I can't say I'd agree with his reasoning… I mean, he's lucky to even have a girl who's willing to have him. No woman would even look at me after I was bitten, except for, well, you know, the weird type. The type you really wouldn't want a serious relationship with."

Roses expression softened and she gave him a reassuring smile, "You can't have meet the right type of women, then. There are women out there who won't care that you're a werewolf. Tonks and I are proof of that."

Lachlan grinned at her, "Yeh, but unfortunately, even when I wasn't a werewolf, I couldn't get you to go with me!"

Rose laughed in surprised, and felt a slight blush spread across her cheeks, "Well, you know, I _did_ already have a boyfriend at the time."

"Yeh, but not when I asked you out the first time. Remember? Me and that other kid practically raced through the Great Hall to see who could ask you first," he paused, hiding his head in face, and laughing, "I can't believe I did that. How embarrassing."

Rose smiled sheepishly, "For you for me? It was one of the most embarrassing breakfasts I ever had! And anyway, I couldn't have said yes to you then, you asked that just after Remus and I had our first kiss. Pretty bad timing, if you ask me."

"Yeh," he said, looking suddenly nervous, "But now isn't so bad, is it?"

"What do you mean?" she asked slowly.

He quickly looked around the room to make sure no one else was listening before he replied in a low voice.

"I – I mean, well, you're single now, aren't you? And so am I," he said, fidgeting nervously with his spoon, "I thought, you know, maybe you'd like to go on a date… with me?"

Rose stared at him with her mouth slightly open and her eyes very wide indeed, completely at a loss for words. Lachlan was asking her out? After all this time?

He blushed at her reaction and turned away, looking at his plate.

"Sorry. I just thought maybe, not that – well, never mind, I understand if you don't want –"

"No, Lachlan," Rose stopped him, shaking her head, searching her thoughts desperately for a reasonable excuse, "I'm sorry, I was just a little shocked. I didn't see that one coming. But this probably just is not the best time. I mean, I've been in coma for seven months and I just found out a week ago that my best friend has been dead since June. You just caught me at a bad time, that's all."

"Oh," he said, looking slightly more cheerful, "So, maybe – maybe I can try again, later, a few months, maybe?"

He was looking at her so hopefully that Rose simply could not tell him that he'd be best not to try again at all.

She nodded, "I guess so. A few months sounds good. So, um, how have you been liking working for the Order?" she asked, in an attempt to bring the conversation back to more stable ground.

Lachlan grabbed at the chance for a change of topic, replying with perhaps a little more enthusiasm that was required, "Oh, yeh, it's been pretty amazing actually. I never imagined that I would actually be involved in something like this. I mean, fighting You-Know-Who, that's just –"

"_Tell me the truth!_ It's because of her, isn't it?"

The shout rang through the kitchen, immediately silencing all the inhabitants. All heads turned to look at the door, since that was the direct from which Tonks voice had come.

"Tonks, this has nothing to do with her!" came Remus' frustrated cry.

"Don't lie! I'm not blind! I've seen the way she looks at you, she can't keep her hands of you!" Tonks yelled back angrily, "It's because she's part-veela isn't it? Who would have a metamorphagous when you can have a part-veela, is that it, Remus?"

Suddenly all eyes were on Rose, and she felt the blood drain from her face.

"We all know it's easier to have your way with a part-veela, but if you honestly think she's going to love you, Remus, you're bloody delusional! She doesn't believe in love, she said so herself! She hated you when she came here, she's just warming up to you now because she's jealous! She won't let anyone else have you but that doesn't mean she wants you for herself!"

"That – that's just completely irrational!" stuttered Remus. His voice was not raised like Tonks' had been, but in the deathly silence in the kitchen, every single word he said was discernible.

"No it isn't, Remus, you're just too blinded to see it," Tonks replied viciously.

Her reply was followed by a series of loud footsteps and then the slamming of the front door.

The sound bought Rose back to reality. She was staring straight ahead of her, not making eye contact with anyone in the room. From the corner of her eyes she could see that every eye – all twenty or so pairs – was fixed on her own, some of them accompanied by accusing glares. There as barely a sound in the room except for her own uneven breathing, and she suddenly became aware of how jelly-like her legs felt.

And then the whispers started, and that was when Rose knew she had to leave. Her face carefully composed so as not to reveal the slightest trace of emotion, she willed her legs to support her weight and walked as calmly as she could. It was only when she reached the door and had climbed a number of stairs that her body failed her and the tears sprang to her eyes and the flames threatened to burst from her palms. She speed up, determined to reach her room before anyone could see her, but as she crossed the corridor, she saw that Remus was standing in her way.

He looked as shaken as she felt, his skin so pale that it reminded her of the morning after a full moon. One look at his face told her that he knew that she had heard.

"Rose –" he started weakly.

But she just shook her head, and hurried around him, not being able to stand his presence at that moment. She hurried along, not stopping until she reached her room.

* * *

**A/N - thanks for all the replies about the RL/NT or RL/RW thing. I've made up my mind and it shall be secret, so you guys will just have to keep reading to find out! But if anyone wants to make a suggestions still, then please feel free to do so.  
**


	32. The Letter

_Knock__, knock, knock. _

Rose groaned, the sound stifled by the tear stained mattress on which she lay, her two arms pressing her pillow firmly on her head.

"Three, two, one…" she muttered.

"Rose?" Remus called from the hallway, outside her door.

"Bingo," she muttered again, not at all loud enough for him to hear.

It was the fifth time he had knocked on her door since she had sought refuge in her room, almost an hour ago. It had been almost half an hour since the fourth knock, and Rose had started to think that perhaps he had understood that she wished to be left alone. Evidently, he had not.

"Rose? Please, let me in. We _really_ need to talk!" he said urgently, "You don't need to hide from me!"

Rose almost laughed. He was the first person she wished to hide from. After a moment or two of silence, she heard him moan.

"Look, Rose. I can't stay here any longer; I need to go back to the werewolves. I've written everything I need to say in a letter, I'm sliding it under the door, okay? Please read it. It's important. I'm going now, if you decide you want to talk to me, I'll be back for the next meeting."

Rose froze as she heard the sound of paper sliding across the threadbare carpet, followed quickly by the sounds of Remus' footsteps as he descended the stairs. A letter? Part of her was ready to jump of her bed to read it, the other half was holding her back, petrified at what she might find. A moment later, her curiosity won and she was holding the letter apprehensively in her shaking hands, starring at it with teary eyes. The parchment was heavy and folded in half, her name written across it in bright green ink, in handwriting she knew too well. Breathing deeply, she unfolded the parchment and read.

_Dear Rose,_

_First and foremost, I must offer you my sincere apology for what happened today. I know that it has upset you deeply. If it makes you feel better, I have spoken to everyone who was present at the party and told them that you are in no way a man-stealing, malicious or manipulating and that you are just another woman, just like themselves or their mothers, wives and sisters. I'm worried for you, and I hope that you don't let Tonks' words hurt you too deeply._

_As for Tonks, I have spoken with her, and she has assured me that in the heat of the moment she did not realise that everyone could hear every word she said. She is, in fact, rather distressed by the whole incident and sends you her deepest, most sincere apologies and has asked me to convey to you that she had never intended for the words she spoke to be heard by anyone other than myself, and that she had exaggerated due to her anger. She does not think lowly of you, nor does she think that you have low moral standards, however, and I am sorry to say this, she does believe that you are acting out of jealously to stop me from wanting her, for I am sure you must have realised already that she fancies herself in love with me. Nothing I said would make her feel otherwise – I'm sorry for failing you in that regard. _

_Lastly, I am sure you must have heard versions of what has been happening between Tonks and myself, however I feel you deserve to know the truth from me. For a while now, Tonks' has believed herself to be in love with me. I don't know why – I certainly have never done anything to encourage such feelings. The day that Harry and the others were lead into the ministry, she kissed me, catching me completely off guard. For a moment, I responded, before I came to my senses and pulled away from her. However, the damage had been done and nothing I could do or say after that would convince her that things would never work out between the two of us. Unfortunately, you seem to have been brought into the argument, and I had never intended for that, knowing especially that the death of Sirius is still fresh for you._

_Rose, I hope that you do not let what anyone – even Tonks – might say stop you from speaking to me. You are my friend – the only remaining friend from Hogwarts. I value your friendship deeply and would consider it a great lose if you let this incident ruin that._

_Again, my apologies and I hope that you will not give yourself a hard time over her words._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus J. Lupin._

Rose let the letter drop to the floor, as her brain comprehended what she had read. One fact stood out beyond the rest. He was defending her. He was defending the woman who had humiliated her in front of the rare group of people – colleagues and friends – whose views of her were not tainted by sneering mistrust.

Was she really to believe that Tonks' had not meant what she said? Did it matter how angry she may have been? What difference would it make that she did not believe in love? Her feelings for Remus may not be love, true – but, at least, they were something. And they were strong. But – they were not strong enough.

For while his letter held no confession of feelings for Tonk's, they did not indicate any denial either, nor the faintest whisper that he might have feelings for her instead.

Sirius had been wrong, and she had been a fool for harbouring the hope that perhaps he might be right. Remus did not love her. He did not want her back as she wanted him back – his actions make that clear.

And so she knew that her feelings for Remus must never be confessed, for she was not strong enough to face the inevitable rejection, or to hear the words that he had already offered Tonks as an excuse, nor was she brave enough to face the accusations that would come her way, just like Tonks' did.

She slid back into her bed, wishing that Sirius were here – to comfort her, to make her laugh, to offer her much needed advice. He would not have let her sulk like this. He would have stood by her door, reclining casually against the wall, arms crossed across his chest throwing one course of action after another, throwing in the most ridiculous ideas just to make her laugh. But he was not here, and so she was resigned to the one thing that Sirius would have never prescribed – she would do nothing at all.

--

The next day, Dumbledore sent word to Rose to meet him in his office at five o'clock. Rose had been taken back by the request – horrid thoughts had plagued her mind ever since. Had he perhaps heard about Tonks' proclamation? Did he blame her too? But it was a radical thought. Surely, the head of the Order of the Phoenix had more important things to worry about than the love life of his members.

Thus, she found herself walking through the Hogwarts corridors, as she had done just over a year ago. There was no need to disguise herself this time, there was no Umbridge to avoid, and the corridors rang with the loud foot steps and laughter of children.

"Chocolate frogs," she muttered to the stone gargoyle, which quickly jumped aside and allowed her, anxious as she was, to proceed to the Headmasters office.

At the top of the stairs, there was no need to knock – the door was wide open. She saw Dumbledore carry a large, stone basin from his desk and put it away in a cabinet. She recognised it as his pensieve.

He turned around, spotting her, and said, "Ah, Rose. Thank you for making it on such short notice. Please, take a seat."

She obliged, glad to see that he was at least smiling. When she turned to face him, she could not help but feel that his blue eyes were piercing into hers over the top of his half-moon glasses. She made sure that she kept her face blank, and her mind even blanker.

"I suppose you are wondering why I have called you here today, Rose?" he asked, his eyes still studying hers.

She nodded.

"No need to look so grim," he said, smiling kindly, "I only wanted to see check on your health and whether you're up for taking on another role for the Order."

Thoroughly relieved, Rose laughed, "I'm all for it, as long as there's no kissing involved this time."

His blue eyes twinkled as he replied, "Well, that depends entirely on how you choose to fill your time. Rose, I was hoping you might be able to stand guard in Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. We already have people from the ministry on guard in Hogsmeade, though I need people to guard Hogwarts while I'm away, and as much as I appreciate the protection provided by the ministry, I don't want them on Hogwarts grounds. Will you be able to help me?"

"Of course, Professor," she said at once.

Finally, something to take her mind off things.

"And is your health up to it?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. I feel fine. It isn't like I was over-exerting myself when I was in that coma," she replied.

"You're sure? Because you know that the safety of my members is at my hands."

"Yes, sir. Really, I've got my strength back; I don't even need to take the potions anymore."

"Rose, it is not your physical well-being that bothers me," he said seriously, "Are you ready, mentally? I know that the passing of Sirius is still fresh for you, and that being in a coma for so long takes its toll on a person. That, and other things, leave you vulnerable and distracted. Do you feel this would be an issue?"

Rose swallowed, "Professor, I intend that my work will distract me from my thoughts, rather than my thoughts distracting me from my work."

"I hope so too, Rose. Well, then, unless there are any objections, you will be scheduled into the roster, starting tomorrow. For now, I hope you will join us for dinner."

"Dinner?" she said, surprised, "With the school, you mean?"

"Certainly," he said, smiling, "I'm sure you will find a number of students wanting to thank you for your help in the ministry."

She suppressed a shiver as she remembered the night, accepting his invitation for dinner. It would sure beat the lonely dinner she would otherwise have at Grimmauld place, with just herself and her thoughts. Besides, it would be nice to be back at the castle again, having a comforting dinner amongst the staff and students.

Dumbledore made to stand up, but Rose stopped him, having suddenly remembered something.

"Professor – I just remembered. How did Harry cope with loosing Sirius?" she asked. She had been wondering about that, not having had the chance to ask someone who might know.

Dumbledore looked surprised by the question.

"I know it's been months since it happened," she added quickly, feeling extremely behind the times, "But, well I wasn't exactly around to ask."

"No, no, I understand. I daresay he is rather okay by now, though I do recall him trashing my office when I brought him back from the ministry…" he added, chuckling slightly, "I'm glad you asked Rose, but he's coping fine."

Rose nodded absent-mindedly, thinking about herself, and whether she would be able to cope as well as Harry had. She had never asked Remus how he had coped…

The Great Hall was already swarming with students by the time Rose and Dumbledore arrived. She could not help but smile.

"I'd forgotten how loud it gets in here," she said to him, as they made their way towards the Head Table, "At the school I teach in, we don't even have half as many students."

Dumbledore was about to reply, but she was cut off by a shout to their left.

"Rose!"

All of a sudden, Rose's view was entirely obstructed by a head of red hair, and she felt two arms pull her into a surprising strong hug.

"Ginny! Give her some room to breath!" can an exasperated voice to her left.

"I'll meet you at the Head Table, then, shall I Rose?" she heard Dumbledore say with a touch of amusement in his voice, before he walked away.

Ginny stepped back while Harry, Ron (who had been the one to speak) and Hermione joined them, Hermione stepped forward to give her a hug as well.

"We're so glad you're okay, Rose! We've been so worried!" Hermione said.

"Yeh," added Ron, "We never got to thank you, either, for taking care of us that day. Hermione and I were out cold, but Ginny told us how you defended us. Thanks for that."

"We thought – I mean, you were in that coma for so long – it was just such a relief when Ron's mum sent us an owl saying you were okay. We wanted to visit, but we couldn't, being at school and all," added Harry.

"Thank you," said Rose, smiling broadly, "That's so nice of you all. I'm just so glad you are all okay."

"It isn't us you need to worry about, Rose," said Ginny seriously, "It was horrible, watching you fighting those two Death Eaters, and knowing we couldn't help. And when you feel into that tank, I felt like my heart had stopped."

"There, there now, Ginny," she said, patting the girl on her shoulder, "No need to dwell on that, it's behind us now."

"Yeh, I know. It's just great seeing you again!"

"Oh," said Rose, suddenly remembering, "I'll be doing guard duty, here and in Hogsmeade, so I suspect I might be seeing you all a little more often that I usually do."

"That's excellent," said Harry, beaming.

"Thanks again, Rose!" said Ron as they move on to the Gryffindor table.

Rose walked off contentedly towards the Head Table, Dumbledore indicated for her to sit next to him, which meant that Severus would be on her right. She gave out a wistful sigh as she sat down.

"Don't you just love kids?" she said to Severus as she helped herself to the Hogwart's excellent cooking.

Severus sneered, "Hardly."

"They are just so fun, compared to adults," she continued, ignoring his remark, "They don't judge you in the same way, they're just too caught up in their own little teenage world…"

"Funny," said Severus, raising his eyebrows, "I've never seen any of that."

"I miss my students."

"Can't say I can relate to that."

"Severus, you're so cruel," she said, shaking her head, "Haven't you ever been close to any of your students?"

"Yes, certainly," he said curtly, "A number of my Slytherin students, the rest are a bunch of dunderheads… although I wouldn't talk of them as fondly as you do."

"You're missing out on a lot, you know," said Rose pointedly, as she helped herself to some salad.

"Speaking of missing out," he said, looking at her with a smirk on his face, "It seems I missed a rather interesting display by Tonks yesterday."

Rose froze.

Severus let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I knew I should have stayed for that party," he continued, "It would have made for a good laugh –"

"Severus," Rose said warningly.

"I can almost imagine the werewolves face after he realises that Tonks had made the announcement for everyone to hear," he continued bravely – or foolishly, depending on ones perspective.

"_Severus_," Rose repeated through gritted teeth.

"Must have been embarrassing for you, though. Nothing like a good love triangle to get the gossip going."

Rose sighed loudly, wondering why she even bothered with him.

"How did you find out anyway?" she asked irritably, poking her steak forcefully with her fork.

"I over heard Hestia Jones telling Minerva… that woman never could keep her mouth closed."

"Oh, wonderful," said Rose sarcastically, "That's just what I need, people gossiping about me. As if I haven't had my fair share of that already."

"Still," started Severus, "I don't know what you and Tonks see in him. It's not like he has anything to offer. Especially Tonks, I mean he's what, 13 years older than her?"

"Just because Tonks' thinks I'm after him, doesn't mean it's true," Rose said sharply at him.

"I don't need Tonks', er, _keen_, observations to tell me that you still want him," he replied smoothly.

"Shut up."

"Very witty."

"Severus," she said, putting down her fork and looking at him with a sickly sweet smile, "We are currently sitting in full view of the entire Hogwarts student body. If you don't stop taunting me, I'm going to give you a peck on the cheek, understood?"

His expression suddenly turned sour.

"You wouldn't," he said, though without confidence.

"I've had a bad week, don't push me," she said bitterly, "Besides, what better way to confirm what Tonks' said last night, what was it? Ah yes, _we all know it's easier to have your way with a part-veela_."

There as a moments silence.

"I'm sure Tonks' doesn't think you're easy," he said after a moment, "I know I don't."

Rose looked at him in surprise. It was very unlike him to make such a thought comment.

"You don't?"

"Of course not, anyone who knows you knows that it's rubbish. Hell, the number of students you turned down back at Hogwarts! It must have been a record."

"Wow," said Rose, thoroughly taken aback, "Thanks Severus. I'd hug you, but you know, the students might get the wrong idea."

"Please!" he scoffed, "Save your hugs for some who wants them, like Lupin."

Rose looked sadly at her plate.

"Remus doesn't want my hugs."

"Yes, and I'm a hippogriff," he said.

"What? You think he's interested in me?"

"Of course he's interested in you! The man wears his heart on his sleeve," he said, sounding exasperated, "Why else do you think Tonks is worried? You're so oblivious that it probably wouldn't matter either way."

Rose thought back to how eager Remus had seemed, that day he told her she would be leaving the orphanage, remembered seeing him kissing Tonks, and the way he had defended her in he letter.

"Hardly," she replied, "You're bloody delusional, mate."

He shrugged, "It's your call. Not that I would encourage any relations with that filthy werewolf anyway."

"Don't call him that," she said sharply, kicking his leg under the table.

Severus sneered, "Told you so."

"Told me what?" she replied irritably.

"That you like him."

Rose sighed. So much for a comforting dinner.


	33. The Date

Standing guard at Hogsmeade proved to be just as distracting as Rose had hoped. Her first time on duty had been bliss – the sun was shining, regardless of the cold, and the change of environment did wonders for her temperament. Rose also had the chance to catch up with Madam Rosemerta, which had proved very entertaining indeed. The only reservations Rose had was that Dumbledore had only scheduled her in for a few hours a day, leaving her with many free hours in which her thoughts might have over come her, had she not spent them reading through her DADA books or visiting Molly.

The next Order meeting happened to be a scheduled for a fortnight after the previous one, on a Friday night. Normally, this information would not have bothered Rose much, however, this time it would be different. It would be the first time she would have to face all the Order members again after Tonks' little episode. The thought made her feel sick with shame. And worst of all – Remus had promised her that he would be there and would most likely expect her to talk to him. The only problem was that she was not sure she _could_ talk to him. But she would have to try. For her sake, and for his sake, she would have to put her feelings, her feelings for him, the hurt, the confusion and the jealousy, she would have put them aside and allow her civility to shine through, if not for both their sakes, to protect them from further rumours, then at least for the stability of the Order. Infighting was never desirable, unless it was amongst the enemies ranks.

Friday night came all too quickly, and Rose soon found herself seated at the kitchen table, in the corner furthest from the door, carefully pretending to pour over notes from previous meetings so that no one would distract her – a task made significantly easier by the return of her muggle sunglasses. Fortunately, it worked. No one spoke a word to her, though she could feel the many curious gazes upon her, making her skin tingle, contributing distinctly to the energy of the butterflies in her stomach.

And then she heard it – his laugh, coming from the top of the kitchen stairs. He was here, and suddenly all the courage she had thought she possessed seemed to be seeping away from her. She looked around the room as casually as she could muster, and to her horror, realised that most of the remaining empty seats were those surrounding her, and knowing Remus, he would most definitely sit by her side. She was trapped. Unless –

And then she saw it – a lone, empty seat between Severus and Molly on the other side of the room. Casually as she could, she gathered her papers, stood up and made her way quickly to the empty seat before anyone else could take it, and more importantly, before Remus entered the room and realised that she had moved to avoid him.

"Evening, Severus," she said, smiling in relief as she sat down besides him, just as Remus entered the room. She determinedly avoided looking at him, focusing completely on Severus instead after taking off her glasses.

He looked back at her in surprise.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "Why are you looking at me like I just sprouted antlers or something?"

From the corner of her eye she saw Remus sit down in the seat directly next to the one she had just vacated. She breathed a mental sigh of relief.

"You don't normal sit next to me at meetings," Severus said pointedly, regarding her with something akin to suspicion.

"Well, you aren't exactly the most approachable person, are you? Besides, I'm sure we both know that you wouldn't have been particularly comfortable in the company of my friends."

There was no need for her to specify which friend she meant, the look of Severus' face told her he had understood and fortunately, he did not press the matter. Sirius' death was still too fresh for her to stand any insults that Severus might have been inclined to make.

"You don't mind me sitting next to you, do you?" she asked.

It was an odd sort of friendship she had with Severus. There had certainly never been any hostility between them, though she was not always sure where to draw the line.

"Of course I don't mind," he replied, with a sneering sort of smile, "Better you than anyone else."

"I'll take that as a complement," she said, rolling her eyes.

"But then, how can I be so sure you aren't only sitting here to avoid the werewolf?" he asked, his smirk deepening as Rose fought back a blush.

"Not so loud!" she hissed, slapping his leg under the table with the back of her hand while looking around to make sure that no one had heard him.

She crossed her arms and glared at him, "Watch your words, Snape. Don't you think I've been embarrassed enough in front of the Order as it is?"

"Point noted," he said, though the smirk did not leave his face when he continued, "Besides, I think it's only fitting that I show a little mercy now. You'll be needing your wits for what's coming up later in the meeting."

Rose felt her self pale, "Why, what's coming up? Severus, what do you know? Tell me!"

But he lips would not budge, and before Rose could think of any creative means of forcing him to talk, Dumbledore had arrived and the meeting had started.

Given that Rose no longer had her conversation with Severus to distract her; she slipped her sunglasses back on, thinking that if there was any truth in Severus' words, she might indeed need them to keep her expression unreadable. Besides, they allowed her to steal glances at Remus without anyone noticing.

And he certainly looked very distracted. He kept fidgeting with his quill, and hardly took any notes like he usually did. And was she imagining things, or were his eyes flickering in Tonks' direction more than what was usual? She felt her stomach clenching at the thought.

"Severus," she heard Dumbledore say, "If you could present your report please."

Severus stood up besides her and started to outline the latest updates on the Death Eater front. Rose paid close attention, in case he was the one who would be revealing the news that concerns her.

"Finally, it has been brought to my attention that the Dark Lord has secured the loyalty of notorious werewolf, Fenrir Greyback."

Rose gasped before she could stop herself, but she was not the only one. Many Order members had broken out in whispers. She glanced at Remus and saw that he was looking at Severus with steely grimness, waiting for him to continue. He seemed to have a death grip on his quill. Besides him, Lachlan was looking distinctly pale and nervous. No doubt, he had been filled in about the threat that Greyback presents.

"Please continue, Severus," said Dumbledore, his voice cutting of the whispers at once, "What plans does Voldemort have for Greyback?"

"Recruitment and punishment," Severus said at once, "He plans to use him to recruit other werewolves to join his cause, and in the mean time, threaten people who refuse to join the Death Eaters by unleashing Greyback on their children during the full moon."

The latter revelation was met with much outrage. Remus has tensed so much that Rose was amazed his quill had not yet snapped in half. He was determinedly not looking at anyone but Severus, though his expression was oddly hollow. A few people threw him sidelong glances – Rose wondered how many of the present company knew that it was Greyback who had bitten him.

"Silence, please!" Dumbledore said warily, and once again the room fell silent immediately, allowing Severus to continue.

"Thank you, Headmaster," he said grimly, before continuing, "Most important for now are the Dark Lords plans to send Greyback to a werewolf enclosure to win over as many werewolves as he can. He sees them as a primary tool for igniting public horror and increasing his Death Eater reserve, without the use of the Imperius curse."

"Will he brand them with the Dark Mark?" Dumbledore asked.

"The werewolves? No, the Dark Lord has not forgotten his ill-placed honour. He intends only to use them as is necessary but will not allow them that privilege."

Dumbledore nodded solemnly, "And where does he intend to send Greyback first?"

Rose's hands now seemed to have a life of their own. They were pulling nervously at the ends of her jumper as she held for breath, waiting for Severus to speak the words, but she already knew the answer. It was as obvious as the sneer playing on his lips.

"London's only werewolf enclosure – the abandoned orphanage where Lupin and Sutherland are currently working," he replied, with almost a hint of success in his voice.

Friend or not, Rose longed to kick him under the table, but she was frozen, the teeth biting forcefully into her lip. _Remus_. Her eyes darted to look at him. His head was buried in his hands, though Rose could see he looked oddly pale. She did not blame him – she could not imagine what it would be like, meeting the werewolf who had willingly bitten him, the werewolf who made sure that public opinion of his kind would never improve. She found herself longing to reach out a hand, to pat him reassuringly on the shoulder, or give him a comforting hug. Instead she looked away, closing her eyes. _Don't think like that_, she chastised herself.

"When does he intend to do so, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, looking very grim indeed.

"In roughly one week's time. He needs to be trained first, to make sure he doesn't slip. The Dark Lord is very serious about this operation – he stands much to gain."

"Very well, Severus," Dumbledore said, "Is that all you have to report?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"Thank you, you may resume your seat," he continued, "And now, we must consider what course of action we must take in light of this news."

Rose saw Remus look up at these words, wearing a confused frown.

"Remus, as Lachlan's supervisor, how do you feel about his progress and his ability to help?"

If he was confused by the question, Remus did not show it.

"He has made excellent progress. His help in changing the general opinion amongst the werewolves has been invaluable, seeing as how he has been there much longer than myself and has earned their love and respect. He demonstrates much wisdom and maturity is his approach and decisions. He is also very capable of defending himself against some of the more aggressive werewolves, now that he has a wand. He is hardly in need of a supervisor anymore."

Lachlan gave Remus a weak, grateful smile, while Dumbledore nodded.

"And do you feel that, if the need arises, you might be able to successfully invite any others to work for the Order?"

"Well, there's certainly a handful who I'm certain will be willing to help. The main issue is that many of them have not used a wand in years – decades, even."

"That can easily be rectified. Now, listen closely, Remus, and especially you, Lachlan. Tonight, or tomorrow morning, I want you both to talk to two of those who you think will be the greatest asset to the Order, and tell them everything they need to know. That will be essential in fighting back against Greyback. If they do not receive the news well, Remus, I want you to place a memory charm on them to make them forget. Is that clear?"

Both men nodded grimly.

"And now Remus, I must ask this off you. I know you will not be pleased, but it must be said."

Remus sat up straight, and looked sharply at Dumbledore. Rose too looked at him intently.

"What is it?" he asked cautiously.

"Greyback, no doubt, knows who you are, and it is no secret that you are working for the Order. I hope you can see why I think it would be unwise for you to remain at the orphanage when Greyback arrives."

Remus looked stricken, though internally, Rose cheered fervently with approval. Remus' safety was top priority.

"What are you saying, Albus? You want me to leave?"

"That is indeed what I am saying, Remus," said Dumbledore, bleakly though firmly, "It is not safe for you to stay there, and you know that the Polyjuice potion does not work on werewolves. We can not disguise you affectively."

"But why do I need to leave?" Remus shot back heatedly, "Why can't I stay – set up a trap, an ambush? He is walking willingly into our territory! It's a perfect opportunity to capture him and hand him over to Azkaban!"

"And how long will it be before the Dark Lord massacres them all, in revenge?" Severus snapped at him, "He has worked too hard to win back Greyback's loyalty after betraying him in the first war. Do you want the blood off all those werewolves on your hands, Lupin?"

"Thank you, Severus," said Dumbledore sternly, while Remus sat back in his seat, arms crossed, his frown was deep but defeat was etched into his face. The animosity between him and Severus may run high, but Remus knew reason when he heard it.

"Remus, will you do as I say?" Dumbledore asked.

For a moment, Remus did not move, and Rose bit her lip in anticipation, but then he nodded, though his expression remained troubled.

"Thank you, Remus. I expect you to leave by late afternoon tomorrow. Make your own excuses. Be sure to stop by my office and give me a report on how the werewolves you selected took the news. Be sure to come to my office as soon as you've put your possessions away upstairs, before unpacking. I will also have you scheduled into the Hogsmeade and Hogwarts guard roster."

It was then that it dawned on Rose that Remus would be staying here, at Grimmauld place. With her. Just the two of them. Alone. It was all she could do to stop herself from panicking at the thought.

Before Rose knew what was happening, the meeting had been called to an end. Through the hassle of everyone leaving, she heard Lachlan call her name. He was standing by the door way.

"Hey, uh, is okay if I just used the shower upstairs? Only, you know how horrible the ones back at the orphanage are."

Rose nodded absentmindedly, her thoughts preoccupied.

"Thanks, Rose! Hey Remus, wait a few minutes while I shower, will you?"

Remus nodded back at him, his eyes flickering towards Rose, who was then struck by the realisation that in a moment or two, she would be alone with him. Thinking quickly, she took off her sunglasses and turned to Molly, who had been sitting besides her.

"Molly! Would you care to stay for some tea?" she asked, forcing any trace of anxiety out of her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear, but I'm having Fred and George over for dinner tonight, maybe some other time?" she replied.

Distractedly, Rose nodded, her eyes already searching the room for another victim, but there was no one. Faylinn had been amongst the first to leave and Tonks' was certainly out of the question.

Uncomfortably aware of Remus' eyes on her, she sighed and sat back down in her seat, her elbow hitting something rather soft.

"Watch where you put that thing!" exclaimed Severus from besides her.

Severus! She was likely to regret it later, but what other choice did she have?

"Say, Severus, why don't you stay for tea?"

This time, Severus really did look at her as though she had just sprouted antlers.

"Tea?" he repeated uncertainly.

"Yes, tea," she pressed, "Come now, how many years has it been since we last had a real conversation?"

"I don't drink tea," he said, regarding her with suspicion, "Besides; we had our last conversation before the meeting started."

"Forget the tea!" she said, waving her hand impatiently, "Severus, I mean a real conversation. We have so much to catch up on!"

Before he could protest she grabbed his arm and pulled him back down in to his seat.

"What is wrong with you, woman?" he exclaimed irritably, but his expression soon turned to realisation when he looked up and realised that apart from Rose and himself, Remus was the only other person in the room, "Ah," he said softly, so that only Rose could hear him, "Say no more."

Rose, still determinedly not looking at Remus (and feeling rather guilty about it), tried to divert Severus' attention, but he spoke before she could even formulate an idea in her mind.

"So, anyway, what's going on between you and Sutherland?" Severus said. There was something about the glint in his eye that made Rose distinctly uncomfortable, and she could feel Remus' eyes on her more than ever. Maybe she should not have asked him to stay after all.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed that he can't keep his eyes off you?" he asked, sounding amused.

"Uh, no, I haven't, actually…" she replied truthfully. After all, she knew Lachlan was interested but she had not noticed anything peculiar about his behaviour.

"Well, I have," Severus continued. She wondered what on earth he intended by this conversation. It seemed awfully staged. "Does that surprise you?"

"No, not really," she said, fighting back a blush, "I know he's interested, after all, he asked me out on a date."

A choking sound startled Rose and forced her to look over at Remus, who was having a coughing fit, having apparently choked on his tea.

Severus waved his wand lazily, instantly clearing Remus' airway. His smug expression did not escape her – she realized than that it was because of Remus that he had raised the topic.

But Remus was paying him no attention; he had eyes only for Rose, who, much to her regret, had now made eye contact with him and was unable to look away.

"Lachlan asked you out?" he asked, his features flushed from the coughing fit, though looking nothing more than politely incredulous.

"Yes," she on just managed to say, for her heart was beating frantically, hidden in her chest, her blush over taking her, "He – he didn't tell you?"

It had not occurred to her that Lachlan had not told Remus about his intentions. But what did occur to her, at that moment, was that this would be a perfect opportunity to determine a hint of how he felt.

"No, he didn't," he replied, frowning slightly, "When was this?"

"Last meeting, just after it finished, during the party," she replied, voice admirably steady.

"And what did you say?" he asked.

"No, I said no… I mean, well, I said it wasn't really the time – that it was too soon after S-Sirius, and the whole coma thing. I told him to try again in a few months," she confessed.

There was a moment's silence.

"I see," said Remus.

He was not meeting her eyes, but his expression completely surprised her. He looked totally indifferent. Did he not care at all? Was it all just some kind of point of interest as far as he was concerned? There was no sign of anger, or annoyance, or even jealousy in his features, not even a hint of it.

"Well," he said slowly, standing up and vanishing his tea, "I need to send a letter before I head back. There aren't any owls here, are there?"

Rose shook her head.

"Hmm, I guess I'll have to drop by the nearest post office. I shouldn't be more than five minutes. Can you tell Lachlan to wait if he finishes his shower before I return?"

She nodded.

"Thank you. Well, Good night Rose, Severus," he said, inclining his head at the latter.

Rose had the distinct impression that he was in a hurry to leave. He had one foot out of the door when Rose called him back.

"Remus," she said.

She had spoken softly, but he stopped instantly, as though she had shouted his name, and turned around, his eyes meeting hers intently.

"Yes?" he asked uncertainly. Did her ears deceive her, or did he sound… almost hopeful?

"Who – who is the letter for?"

He blinked, then gave her an apologetic sort of smile before he said,

"Nymphadora. She asked that I give her one chance to prove herself. I need to tell her we're on for the date she suggested, six thirty tomorrow night."


	34. Sirius Black

"Ouch!"

Rose jumped away from her suitcase, hopping on one foot while rubbing the other with her hand, where the suitcase had fallen on it. Rose cursed silently, wondering why she had not used magic to bring down the suitcase from the top of the closet instead.

Sighing loudly, she throw the suitcase open. It was empty but for a few items that she had not bothered unpacking when she arrived at Grimmauld Place. Slowly, she began packing her possessions using a spell that she had ironically been taught by Tonks' – the woman who was half the reason why she was indeed packing her belongings and moving out of Grimmauld Place in the first place.

The other half of the reason was, of course, Remus Lupin, who was to be arriving at Grimmauld Place in only a few hours. If Rose had been worried about staying alone with him at headquarters during the meeting, it was nothing compared to how she had felt knowing that he had a date scheduled with Tonks in less than three hours time. It was perhaps a cowards way out, but there at least some wisdom in the idea of renting a room at the Three Broomsticks. This way she would always be close by if Death Eaters were to appear at Hogsmeade, and it would prevent any rumours being fuelled as to what Remus and herself got up to while alone together at Grimmauld Place. At least she would not have to worry about another outburst by Tonks, who might have Remus wrapped around her finger by the end of the evening.

Brushing away the sick feeling generated in her stomach by the thought, Rose continued to pack, and with a few swishes of her wand later, her suitcase was ready and set.

Not wanting to face Remus if he arrived earlier than expected, Rose hurried out of Grimmauld Place and apparated to Hogsmeade. To her surprise, the small town was covered in a fresh sheet of snow that had not been there the last time she had patrolled. Pulling her cloak around herself, she hurried into the Three Broomsticks, spotted Rosmerta and requested a room.

"For how long, dear?" she asked her.

Rose bit her lip, not at all sure how long she would be staying there, "Indefinitely, for now, I guess. And, uh, do try not to let anyone know I'm staying here, will you?" she added, fully aware that she was much more susceptible to Death Eater attacks now that she was not living at headquarters.

"I dare say it might be rather difficult. I'm sure you'd appreciate that people will notice if a part-veela keeps walking in and out, though I'll do my best. It might be wise if you used to back exit if you don't want to be seen," said Rosmerta helpfully, while handing her the key to room eleven on the second floor.

The room turned out to be rather cosy, with all the essentials (including a rather charming bathroom) and a single bedroom. After placing a number of protective charms on her room (Rosemerta had said she did not mind), she started unpacking her bags. Unfortunately, Tonks' had not taught her any tricks for unpacking, so it was a slow processes of which Rose quickly tired. A glance at the clock in the small living room told her it was five fifteen, and with a jolt of her stomach she realised that Remus would be on his date in less than an hours time.

Rose decided then that it would be wise to offer Molly a visit – she needed to inform someone of her change of residence, and the distraction would prove useful. So, leaving her suitcase half unpacked, she left via the back exit as Rosemerta had suggested and apparated to the Burrow. Shivering from the cold, she hurried forward and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Molly called from inside.

"Rose Wilson," she said, and knowing that Molly will probably open the door before asking her to prove her identity, she quickly added, "Thirty five years old, part-veela, the veela in the family being my mothers grandmother. My work for the Order involves going undercover as Anabelle Elizabeth Jean to help rectify the mentality of the werewolves –"

The door opened to reveal a smiling Molly.

"Must we go through this every time, dear?" she asked, exasperated.

"Now Molly, how would you feel if I was really a Death Eater in disguise?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow while fighting back a smile.

"Oh, we both know that you can't use polyjuice to imitate a part-veela! Well, never mind, come in, come in," she said, ushering her inside.

Rose entered and sat down at the kitchen table, while Molly continued preparing dinner, "Thank you Molly. It's so nice and warm in here! Oh and that reminds me, before I forget –"

But Rose was cut of when a person came bouncing into the room, ecstatically asking,

"Well, what do you think, Molly?"

Rose stared. It was Tonks, and she was wearing a gorgeous, knee-length, black dress with purple prints around the edges that showed off all her curves. She wore her hair long, wavy and black with purple highlights to complement her outfit. She was even wearing make up, which had been skilfully applied – she looked simply amazing.

Tonks looked awkward and surprised at seeing Rose there. And Rose was furious, realising that the outfit was no doubt for her date with Remus. He had finally given her a chance and there was no doubt she was making the most of it. Rose did not know how Remus could possibly come out of this date still single. The thought horrified her.

"My apologies, Molly, I was not aware that you had company," Rose said with forced politeness, turning away from Tonks and forcing herself to smile, "Well, I wouldn't want to impose, so I'd best be going."

She stood up and quickly hurried out of the house, not giving Molly the chance to object. She knew it was rude, but it would be worse if she had stayed, given that she was very unlikely to find it within herself to be polite to Tonks at that moment.

She hurriedly apparated back to the Three Broomsticks and ran up to her room, slamming the door behind her and trying to calm her breathing.

"So much for the Burrow being a distraction," she murmured angrily, before returning to her new bedroom. She grabbed a robe from inside the suitcase and threw it aside onto her bed as she looked through her suitcase for the calming potion she had packed. Frowning, she pulled out an odd smelling bag that she did not remember owning. She walked over to her bed and emptied the content of the bag onto it. To her surprise, it was filled with clothes – clothes that she immediately recognised as the clothes she had worn when she fell into the tank at the Department of Mysteries.

"Merlin's beard, this stuff stinks," she muttered, and she picked up her robe.

She looked over it, checking to see if it had been damaged. Amazingly, it was in perfect condition, except for the smell. She ran her hand along it, and noticed something hard inside a pocket, and took it out.

It was a small, glass vile with some sort of silvery fluid inside.

"What the hell is this?" she said, frowning at the vile.

And then, it hit her. The vile fell out of her hand in shock, landing on the bed.

"Sirius!" she exclaimed, remembering clearly as ever the moment when Sirius had slipped this into her hands before he ran off to help fight the Death Eaters. She quickly picked up the vile and opened it, and immediately realised what it was.

"Memories! His _memory_! I can't believe I forgot about this!" she cried guilty, tears springing to her eyes as she rebuked herself.

She stood there for a moment, clasping the vile tightly in her hands, simply staring at it as the tears streaked down her tears, before rushing to the door and hurrying to Hogwarts. She ignored the odd looks she received from the other patrons; she did not even stop to apologise after bumping into a man so hard that he fell backwards into the snow. Only one thing mattered at that moment. She needed to get to Hogwarts, to use Dumbledore's pensieve.

She was thoroughly out of breath by the time she had reached the castle doors, having ran all the way. Breathing deeply, she pulled open the castle door and made her way forward. The entrance hall was empty except for a number of students who seemed to be moving towards their common rooms. Rose could hear the noise coming from the Great Hall – it was dinner time. Hastily wiping away her tears with her sleeves and magically removing their traces, she entered the Great Hall as discreetly as possible, quickly spotting Dumbledore in his usual seat and hurried towards him. It was not until she was a few paces away from him that he noticed her, though when he did, she must have noticed her expression, because he immediately stood up and ushered her out of the Great Hall, into a small room behind the staff table that Rose had never entered before.

"What is it?" he asked quickly, gravely.

She held up the vile and Dumbledore took it in his hands, examining it closely.

"Memories?" he asked after a moment, looking at her sharply.

She nodded, "S-Sirius'. I just found it now. He gave it to me at the Department of Mysteries before he d-d-died."

"Do you know what thoughts it contains?" he asked, frowning.

"I don't know, he just gave it to me and said 'for later' before he ran off," she said, biting her lip as she fought back tears.

"Do you know why he gave it to you specifically?"

"No, sir," she said.

"Very well, this may be important for the Order, or it might be something personal meant for you only," Dumbledore said calmly, "Come with me to my office, you can have a look at it alone and tell me if you think I need to know."

Rose nodded and followed the headmaster to his office, her legs feeling like jelly with every step she took. What could Sirius have possibly wanted her to know, she wondered. And why, _why_ had she forgotten about it?

"Liquorice wands," said Dumbledore, the odd phrase startling her out of her thoughts and alerting her that they had arrived at his office.

They entered the office silently. Rose simply watched as Dumbledore retrieved his pensieve from the cabinet and set it down carefully on his desk. From the corner of her eye, she could see the occupants of the many portraits in the room studying her curiously, but she ignored them, watching instead as Dumbledore carefully poured the silvery memories into the pensieve.

"Now, keep in mind, it is most likely that you will see Sirius in this pensieve," he warned tentatively, as he studied her over the top of his half-moon glasses, "Do you think you can handle that?"

Rose gulped. That thought had not even occurred to her, and she very much doubted she was ready, but she nodded anyway, because what other choice did she have?

"Right then, touch the pensieve with your wand," he instructed, "I'll be waiting here for you to finish."

Rose took a deep breath and did as she was told, and she found herself plunging forward, head first, into to the bowl, and then, as suddenly as the first tug came, it stopped, and she took a sharp breath as she found herself standing in the kitchen of Grimmalud Place, Sirius and Remus sitting right in front of her. Rose's insides gave a jolt as she recognised her dead friend. Tears instantly filled her eyes.

"But what about _you_?" Sirius said emphatically.

"What about me?" asked Remus, his eye not quite meeting Sirius'.

"Don't act dumb with me, Moony," Sirius replied, crossing his arms across his chest, "You know what I'm talking about. How've you been enjoying all the kissing, then?"

Rose immediately remembered that this was the conversation she had over heard them having the night Faylinn had stumbled into Grimmauld Place in tears. She walked over to the doorway, and sure enough, there she was, standing by the stairs, her cheeks slightly pink as she leaned in closer to hear what Remus was about to say.

"You know it's strictly for work purposes, Padfoot –"

"Pfft!" Sirius snorted, "Yeh, and I'm a hinkypunk. Order work or not – you've been kissing her almost daily from what I gather. Now, that had her all emotional and what not, but about _you_? Don't tell me you don't feel anything?"

"Of course I feel something, Sirius," replied Remus bitterly as he toyed distractedly with his wand, "Any man would. Damn it, it's been _hard_. I don't let her see it, but it's taken it's toll on me too, kissing her like that, flirting with her, but knowing that it's just Order work, not _real_. It isn't real, Sirius, not like how it used to be. We aren't young and innocent anymore."

"Do you want it to be real?" Sirius asked as he watched his friend intently, his expression oddly serious.

Rose felt her heart beating faster – this was where she had stopped listening last time.

Remus did not reply, but closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. After a moment he muttered, "What difference does it make? She barely tolerates me as it is. There's no chance of things being like they used to be between us."

"But do you want them to be like how they used to be?" Sirius pressed on.

Remus sighed deeply, "I – wait, did you hear that? Is someone coming in?"

Frustrated at the interruption, Rose turned to watch herself enter the room with a tearful Faylinn, and the surroundings faded to be replaced with the same kitchen again, only this time it was filled with people – an Order meeting had clearly just come to an end. Rose quickly spotted herself hurrying out of the room, and she saw Remus and Sirius exchange a worried glance.

"What's wrong with her?" she heard Remus ask Sirius as she stepped forward, a frown on his face.

Sirius smirked, and Rose realised this must have been the first meeting after she had been told to leave the werewolves, when she had fled as soon as the meeting was over so that Sirius did not have the chance to imply anything about her feelings for Remus.

"I don't know, maybe you should go up and talk to her?" he suggested.

"Do you think that's wise?" Remus asked tentatively, "I mean, it wouldn't be the first time she's flared up on me…"

"Nah, don't worry about it, I doubt she's going to flare up over anything any time soon," he said, dismissing his worries, "Just go up and have a word with her, I can tell you want to."

Remus nodded, "Okay then, I'll be back in a bit. Oh, by the way, is my stash of Honeydukes chocolate still in your room?"

"Course it is, you didn't honestly expect me to eat all that, did you? I'd have probably died of a sugar high. Anyway, what do you want it for?"

Remus smiled, "A little bribery wouldn't go amiss, would it? Who can say no to chocolate? And I think I'll need it, our last goodbye wasn't exactly happy. I think she was annoyed at me, and she might still be."

"Well, when you're done talking to her, you come right back her and tell me what happened when she left, okay? 'Cos she hasn't told me anything," Sirius instructed.

With a last nod to Sirius, Remus made his way out of the room, and Rose knew he was about to meet her, and she was about to lie to him and tell him that the tears she had shed the last time they had kissed had meant nothing at all.

It was only a few minutes later when Remus returned, looking obviously anxious, by which time the kitchen was empty except for Sirius and her invisible self. He sat down at the table dejectedly, and Rose could not help but feel guilty, though her curiosity pushed that feeling to the side.

"Didn't go well?" Sirius offered.

"I don't get it, Sirius," he replied, his frustration evident, "I just don't get it. I don't understand these messages she's sending me. I don't even know if she realises she's sending them at all."

"Right," Sirius said slowly, with the air of a man who was clearly confused, "What messages exactly?"

Remus got out of his seat and started pacing across the room, "Look, I know she's angry at me. I know I hurt her those many years ago, and even though she finally came round and realised that what I did, I did it because I felt it was best, I know that deep down she's still hurt by it and hasn't forgotten that. It's affected her in way's I'm sure I can't begin to understand."

"Right… but?"

"But, ever since that day when she said she finally agree to put the past behind us, I don't know, Sirius, but sometimes it just felt like the way she flirted with me in front of the other werewolves, it didn't seem like she was acting. Maybe she's just a better actor than I realised, but no one can fake the kind of look she had in her eyes when she looked at me sometimes, when she thought I wasn't looking."

"What kind of look?" asked Sirius, frowning.

Remus stopped pacing and looked at Sirius, his eyebrows furrowed, "I – I don't know, affection, I guess? But before I could figure it out," – he resumed pacing now – "Albus sent that letter saying I had to tell Lachlan about the Order and send Rose back as soon as possible. And I don't know if she told you, Sirius, but she really didn't like it when I told her. She was annoyed, and started acting like she couldn't wait to leave, and she said she wouldn't miss the place at all, and when I asked her if she would miss anyone, she said no."

"Hmm, that doesn't sound like something she'd say," Sirius commented as he rested his arms on top of his head.

"My thoughts exactly, I knew something I said must have annoyed her, but I don't know what. Well, soon enough it was time for the goodbye kiss – in front of everyone, mind you – and she comes up to me and whispers that she's going to miss me – which was odd because no one could have heard it but me, I mean, if it was an act, she'd have at least let the others hear, wouldn't she? But she didn't, and then – she kissed me," he finished, sitting down again and looking more confused than ever.

"Good kiss?" asked Sirius, smirking.

"A very good kiss," he muttered, smiling vaguely, "A different kiss, very different to any of her other kisses. It was – it was almost like the way she used to kiss me. Like she meant it. And when she pulled away, her face was covered in tears. I asked her about it just now and she said it was all for show, but it just seemed so real, Sirius. Both the kiss and the tears. I don't understand it."

"The last time I asked you this, you didn't answer me, but I'm going to ask again," Sirius said, leaning forward in his chair, "Do you want it to be real? Do you love her?"

There was a moment's silence in which Rose heard nothing but the frantic beating of her heart and her deep breathing.

Remus finally gave Sirius a sad little smile and said, "When did I ever stop loving her, Sirius?"

Rose let out a cry of happiness that no one but herself heard as fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks and her legs all but failed her, causing her to grab onto the nearest chair for support.

Blinking furiously, she could just make out the massive grin that had spread across Sirius' face, "I knew it, mate. You tried to hide it but you can't hide anything from me. You're so bloody obvious – and I can't believe I'm going to agree with Snivellus on something, but you wear your heart on your sleeve."

Remus smiled back wryly, "So I've been told."

"Well, when are you going to tell her?" asked Sirius.

"Tell her what?" Remus asked, looking genuinely surprised.

"That you love her, of course!"

"Are you insane?" he exclaimed incredulously, "Tell her I still love her? How audacious! She'd skin me alive! After everything she went through because I left her, you really think she's going to just welcome me back, just like that?"

"Umm," said Sirius, pretending to think, "How about, yes? Come on, Moony, it's obvious she still likes you."

Remus shook his head, "If anything is obvious, it's that she's confused about what she feels for me. I think she's having trouble trying to balance her desire to be friends with her inability to trust me. Love is out of the question. Besides, you've heard her, she doesn't believe in love. And even that was my fault."

Rose bit her lip anxiously. Never in her life had she wanted to believe in love as much as she did at that moment.

"Stop blaming your self, Remus," Sirius said.

Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck while staring at nothing in particular with a wistful expression, "She's just so beautiful, Sirius. Inside and out. I never really realised how much I missed having her in my life until she came back. Being able to flirt with her, hold her and kiss her – even if was just for the Order – it was like a dream come true. I've missed her so much since she left."

"If – and I'm just saying, _if_ – it turned out that she did love you, would you let her back into your life? I mean, what about the whole werewolf and she-deserves-better thing?"

Remus actually chuckled, "Do you honestly think I'd make the same mistake twice? I did what I thought was right, and I was wrong, I admit it. I left her to give her a better life, but it didn't work out that way. She's definitely old enough and been through enough of life to make that choice herself, if she wanted me back. Which she doesn't," he added as an after thought.

The room then started to fade, and Rose felt herself being pulled upwards and thrown back across the floor. Through the tears still streaming done her face, she could see that she was lying on the floor in Dumbledore's office, with the headmaster standing over her, looking worried and offering her his hand to help her up. She accepted it, and as she climbed up on to her own two feet, she felt her chest swelling with happiness – not only did Remus love her, he wanted her back in his life! Rose knew she must look ridiculous with the huge grin spread across her face, but she could not help it. She had not felt this kind of relief in a long time.

Upon seeing her smiling, Dumbledore relaxed, "Tears of happiness, I take it? I suppose it isn't anything I need to see then, is it?"

"No, it isn't," she said, giving him a watery smile, wiping her tears with her sleeve, "I can't believe it – Sirius, he's so thoughtful. Even with all the chaos at the Department of Mysteries, he still had time to put that together for me."

"Indeed," he replied, as he extracted the thoughts out of the pensieve and returned them to the small vile, slipping it safely back into Rose's hands, "You were in there for quiet a while, it's already five past six o'clock, I was starting to – Rose, what's wrong?"

The smile suddenly dropped from Rose's face as though she had been struck by the Cruciatus curse, and she started at Dumbledore in horror. Five past six. The image of Tonks looking stunning with her flowing black hair and purple highlights plagued her mind.

Remus had a date with Tonks' in twenty five minutes.


	35. Love Won't Wait

"Rose? Rose, what is it?" Dumbledore asked, looking concerned.

Rose continued to stare at him.

"Five past six?" she moaned.

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"Yes – I mean, no it's nothing, Professor," she replied quickly, "Excuse me – I have to go. Thank you for your time."

He seemed reluctant to let her leave, but he did not stop her or call her back as she rushed out of his office, and she was grateful for that, for she did not have the time to waste. She had twenty five minutes to find Remus before he went on his date. Twenty five minutes to find out if he still loved her and wanted to be with her. Twenty five minutes before he potentially commits himself to someone else.

As Rose ran through the castle, desperately trying to reach the point beyond which she could apparate as quickly as possible, she could not help but feel the gravity of just how important these twenty five minutes were. She only hoped that it was not too late, that he had not already committed himself to Tonks, and that the seven months she spent in the coma were not enough for him to move on...

She shook the thought out of her head as she ran through the entrance hall, dodging curious students who had clearly just finished their dinner. And then it hit her. A thought – a marvellous, obvious thought that had escaped her notice earlier suddenly occurred to her, and the proof that he still cared for her was at her finger tips. A plan quickly formulated itself in her head. She put on an extra burst of speed, because she knew the plan would be fruitless unless she could convey her suspicions to Remus before she lost him for good.

When she past the Hogwarts gates, she stopped to catch her breath before she apparated.

"_Tempus promptu_," she breathed, flicking her wand.

A thin silvery blue ribbon drew it self from the end of her wand, twisted upon it self and Rose was able to read: nine past six pm. She gulped, and quickly apparated on the spot, arriving on the door step of Grimmauld Place a second later. Throwing the door open, she hurried inside. The house was silent, still.

"Remus?" she called out nervously.

No reply. She tried again, dashing into the kitchen, but he was not there. She rushed up to his bedroom, but he was not there either, though his belongings were. She paused for a moment to look around. She had never been in his room before. Her attention was drawn by a picture frame on his bedside table. She smiled as she recognised it – it was a picture of herself, Lily and the four Marauders in their seventh year.

She searched the rest of the house, but it soon became clear that there was no body present there except herself and Kreacher, who, as usual, proved to be of no help at all. By then, she was extremely nervous. He could be any where. Not knowing where else to check, she decided to visit the Burrow. It seemed like a long shot, but Tonks' had been there earlier, so she decided it was worth trying. She apparated there, and run up to the house, knocking loudly on the door.

"Who is it?" Molly asked from behind the door.

"It's me, Rose!" Rose exclaimed impatiently, "Full name, Rose Wilson, thirty five years old, part-veela, veela great grandmother, worked for the Order as Anabelle Elizabeth Jean –"

The door swung open to reveal a worried looking Molly.

"Rose? What's wrong? You're all pale and you sound anxious –"

"Nothings wrong, Molly, I'm just in a hurry. Tell me, have you seen Remus?"

She looked at her in surprise, "Remus? No dear, I haven't. Why –"

"Do you have any idea where he might be?" she asked urgently.

"All I know is that he has a date with Tonks' at six thirty, but she didn't say where they were going, or meeting. Why do you ask? Is everything okay?"

"It's fine Molly, I was just asked to deliver a message to him from Dumbledore," she lied guiltily, "I thought he'd be at headquarters when I returned from Hogwarts, but he wasn't. It doesn't matter, nothing urgent. Thanks for your time!"

Molly seemed comfortable with that explanation – at least, she did not press the issue further, much to Rose's relief. She made a quick escape and apparated back to Grimmauld Place.

"Remus?" she called again, but it was in vain. He had not appeared in the minute she had been gone.

"_Tempus promptu_," she said again. It was eleven past six.

"What now!" she cried desperately, her legs feeling like jelly again, "If I were Remus, where would I go?"

But it was pointless – Remus would either be here, getting ready, or waiting for Tonks' to arrive for the date. It was always like him to be early. But since he was not at headquarters getting ready, and since she did not have a clue where their date was, there was no way for her to find him. Simply because she did not know what else to do and because doing nothing was a frightening prospect, she decided to check the werewolves orphanage. She could not see why he would be there, but it was worth trying, and it was certainly better than waiting alone for him at Grimmauld Place.

So she borrowed one of the spare invisibility cloaks and apparated to the orphanage. In the darkness, the building looked oddly eerie, livened only by the light peeking through the grimy windows, provided no doubt by the burning fireplace. Rose approached the front door as silently as she could. She knew she would be taking a risk if she opened the door – she might be seen, but she had no other choice. She cast a silencing spell on the hinges, to stop any potential creaks, and pushed the door slowly open. She quietly cast a shield spell around herself, and peaked her through the door. There was no one in sight, so she hurried inside, closing the door silently behind her. The building was large, and so it took her minutes to search it all, her progress hindered by the many closed doors and the occasional person wandering through the corridors. Fortunately for her, most people were seated by the fire in the living room. Remus had not been there amongst them, though she had heard Amandus exclaiming in disappointment that she could not believe Remus had really left, which seemed to suggest that he was not in the building at all. She did not succeed in finding him either.

Dejectedly, she made her way back to the front door and out towards the orphanage gates. She was ready to disapparate when she remembered something. The little beach that Remus had crafted. He had always liked to go there for some quiet time and had always been rather fond of the place. She hesitated slightly, and then reasoned that she had come all this way, so she might was well check the beach too. And so she jogged towards the lake. From the top of the hill, she could see the lake below her, but it was so dark in the moonless night that she could not tell whether there was anyone in the beach or not. So she walked forward tentatively, extremely thankful for her invisibility cloak. On the ground before her, she could just make out where the snow-littered soil ended and the apparently snow-free sand of the beach began. She broke into a run, remembering that the beach was heated, but she was not prepared for the shock that awaited her when she set foot on the sand.

She gasped loudly, coming to an abrupt stop. Not only was it so hot that she wanted to tear of the cloak, it was day time. The whole beach area was lit up as though it were noon. But Remus was not there, she realised immediately.

Disappointed, but not yet wanting to leave, she moved forward, biting her lip hard as she fought back the tears. She did not want to check the time again, knowing that she could still be seen, but she did now need to check to know that there as barely ten minutes left until Remus was expected on his date.

And then, she felt a sharp poke between her shoulder blade that forced her to scream in shock, at the same time as a male voice demanded, "Don't move! Identify yourself!"

She had just heard what he said over she scream, though she stayed still as her mind worked fast to think of a plan of action. The man was not impressed, and she felt the wand press deeper into the back, "Identify yourself!"

Rose froze, recognising the voice.

"Remus?" she stuttered, her eyes wide.

"Rose?" he replied in disbelief, but he quickly regained his scepticism, "Prove it."

"You have a picture of us with Padfoot, Prongs, his wife, and Wormtail besides your bedside table at Padfoot's house. I saw it just minutes ago. We looked like seventh years."

She felt the wand lower and she turned around just in time to see Remus freeing himself from a disillusionment charm. She blinked back tears of relief – she still had a chance. She removed her own invisibility cloak and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. She did not even care that it took him a while hug her back, or that both his eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"How'd you know I was here?" she asked after pulling away from him.

"You made a lot of noise and you left foot prints," he said, indicating at the sand below her feet. She had indeed left a trail of foot prints. He frowned slightly, "What are you doing here?"

She looked away from him, hoping he could not detect that she was nervous, "I, uh, was looking for you, actually."

"Really?" he replied, not bothering to mask his confusion, "For me?"

"Yes. You."

"I've been under the impression that you were avoiding me," he said uncertainly, "Weren't you?"

Rose could not help but blush, "I was," she admitted, "But I – I need to talk to you. That's why I came here. I was looking for you."

"I see. And what would you like to talk about?" he asked, somewhat courteously.

Rose looked back at him uncertainly. He was acting so formal with her. But then, she reasoned, could she blame him? After all, she had been avoiding him for a long time. He probably had no idea how she felt towards him at that moment. He could very well be expecting her to stick her wand to his chest.

"Maybe – maybe we should sit down?" she suggested, partly because it felt awkward standing, and partly because she was not sure her legs would be able to support her for much longer.

Remus took off his robe and spread it out on the sand, indicating for her to sit on, which she did, while he sat down besides her, at an angle such that she barely needed to turn her head to face him. There was hardly two feet between them.

"Ever the gentlemen," she murmured.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly, turning to smile at him. He was watching her politely, expectantly. It only made her more nervous. Her eyes flickered to his lips, though she did not let them linger, least he notice. His lips twitched, suggesting that he probably did notice, and she quickly looked out at the much safer lake before them.

"So…" he said expectantly, after a moment's silence, "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"Well," she said slowly, "There's something I think we need to talk about."

"Right."

She paused for a moment. This was proving to be much more difficult than she thought.

"Yesterday, when you found out that Lachlan had asked me out. Your reaction was interesting. You chocked in your water at first but almost immediately after that you were completely apathetic."

As she spoke, she noticed his hand resting on his cloak in the space that separated them. Unable to resist, she slipped her hand over his, turned it over and started tracing a circle on his palm with her palm. He did not move, or make a sound; his eyes were fixed on her hand, his brow furrowed. His expression was mostly passive, but there was some unease evident in her eyes that Rose supposed was caused by the topic she raised.

"It didn't make much sense to me," she continued, her eyes on his, "But I think I figured it out, which is part of the reason was looking for you. You were jealous, weren't you, Remus?"

She felt his hand tense suddenly in her own, but she kept her eyes on his. His eyes were still fixed on their entwined hands. She stopped moving her thumb. She could not read his expression, but she was sure he was doing some quick thinking.

"What makes you say that?" he asked slowly, his tone giving nothing away.

Rose frowned. She had not expected that. She had been depending on him hastily denying all charges. She was not prepared for this. She wished he would look at her; that his eyes might betray a glance at what was happening in his mind.

"The way you choked on your water was a bit of a give away, and I can't help but wonder why else you would have chosen that exact moment to post your letter to Tonks'?"

Finally, he looked up at her, and to her complete confusion, he _smiled_.

"Well, that's certainly an interesting observation," he said, coking his head to one side as he studied her, still smiling.

Rose was starting to feel distinctly uncomfortable – all too aware that she was no longer the one in control of the conversation. Somehow, he had managed to gain the upper hand.

"Is that all you're going to say?" she asked, frowning, "You admit it then? You were jealous?"

He shrugged, "I'm not admitting or denying anything."

"Why?" she asked incredulously.

"I don't think you'd believe me if I denied it, and I'm not so sure what plan of action you intend on taking if I admit it," he said, smiling apologetically ay her, though he betrayed himself before he continued when Rose saw the faintest flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, "Why don't you elaborate? Why are you asking? Why do you care?"

Oh, yes, he definitely had the upper hand. But Rose would not allow it, and quickly, perhaps rashly, decided it was time to get to the point.

"I'm asking, Remus," she said, calmly though firmly, "because it seems to me, that though you are minutes away from a date with Tonks, the real person you want to be dating is me."

He snatched his hand away from hers so quickly that Rose gasped in shock.

"What on earth gave you that idea?" he asked, his panic evident.

Fuelled by her desire of hearing him admit it himself, not to mention that she was not yet ready to admit that Sirius had left her the memories, she replied in what she hoped was a confident tone, "Oh, come on, Remus, it's obvious! The way you look at me, the way you act around me. Why else was Tonks so worried?"

Remus jumped up to his feet, "You have no proof!" he exclaimed defensively, "Look, Rose – I have to go."

He was already turning away from her, but she would not let him get away that easily. She jumped up and grabbed his arm, though he tried to pull away from her, yanking his arm back hard – too hard. She was pulled forward, bumping hard into him. He lost his footing and feel over onto the sand, Rose falling right on top of him.

"Ouch," she muttered after a moment, and then she realised that she was lying on top of him, pinning him to the ground, and she grinned, "Precarious little situation, don't you think?"

Remus groaned, not meeting her eye, and said, in a voice that left Rose in no doubt that he had been thoroughly winded, "Do you mind moving, please?"

"Mmm, it's kind of comfortable up here," she said, winking flirtatiously, then added more seriously, "Besides, I don't want you to run away as soon as I move."

"I wasn't running away," he mumbled defensively.

"Yes you were, besides, don't you want to see the proof?"

"What proof?"

There was a moments silence. And then –

"The proof that you love me," she said softly.

A blush engulfed Remus' cheeks faster than what was humanly possible, and his eyes sprung up to meet hers.

"You don't believe in love," he stated matter-of-factly.

Rose was taken-aback, "Well, no, I don't," she admitted reluctantly, "But I can't think of any other word that would describe. Besides, you believe in love, so isn't that good enough?"

He did not reply, instead, he eyes her warily and ask, "And what exactly does this proof consist of?"

Rose smiled slyly, feeling like her former fifteen year old self, and she adjusted her position so that her face was only inches from his.

"This is my proof," she whispered, and before he could reply, she closed the distance between them, her lips meeting his. And she kissed him. For a few, shocked moments, he did not respond, but Rose kissed him harder, nudging his sides, and he kissed her back hesitantly at first, and then his one hand found it's way to her waist, while the other rested on her head, pulling her closer and he kissed her back lovingly, urgently. Rose's insides tingled with pleasure – she had been waiting a long time to feel his lips against hers again, and she knew he had too, and that was what made the kiss so special.

A moment later, she pulled her lips away from his and breathed deeply, regaining her breath. Below her, Remus did the same, though a look of realisation and horror was spread across his features.

"Don't tell I just – oh, no, I did, didn't I?" he stuttered, panicking, as he pushed her off, again, refusing to meet her eyes. Rose sighed as she landed on the sand besides him. He was so stubborn sometimes. He made to stand up, but Rose grabbed his arm, and held him back.

"Remus, calm down!" she exclaimed, her heart still racing from the kiss, "You don't need to be scared!"

"I'm not scared," he breathed as he tried to escape from her grasp, "Rose, I don't know what kind of game your playing, but –"

"Remus, this isn't a game!" she exclaimed in frustration, still struggling to hold him down, "Did it ever occur to you why I'm interrogating you like this?"

"Rose, let go of me," he continued, as though he had not heard her, "I need to go, I –"

"You're not going anywhere," she shouted, remember his date with Tonks.

Remus stopped and looked at her, shocked by the shout.

"Rose," he said with forced steadiness, "I have to go, I have a date in less than –"

"No!" she insisted, and then desperately said, "Remus, don't you get it? Don't you get why I'm doing this? I kissed you because I wanted to! I'm the one obsessed with you. I'm the one who wants to date you! I love you, Remus!"

A stunned silence followed that proclamation, in which Remus, having finally stopped struggling, watched Rose – who now had tears in her eyes – in disbelief.

"You – you do?" he asked quietly.

"Well, as much as a person who doesn't believe in love can be in love, anyway," she muttered.

"Which I'm sure is a great deal," Remus said, a large, relieved smile plastered across his face as he took her hand and helped her stand up, all signs of the panic that had swept through him earlier gone.

Before she even managed to gain her balance, his arms were wrapped around her in an all engulfing hug. His grip was so tight, she could hardly breathe, and tears of happiness and relief were now streaming down her face, wetting Remus' shirt as her head rested on his shoulder.

"I love you too, Rose," he admitted, one hand stroking her hair, "I never stopped. But, I mean – do you forgive me enough for what happened in our past? Forgive me enough that you're willing to give me a second chance?"

"Yes," she sobbed, embarrassed by her emotional outbreak. Remus pulled away from her slightly she he could see her face, having on realised then that she had been crying. He raised a hand and wiped away her tears, kissing her gently on the lips.

"There's no need to cry," he said gently.

Her tears continued to fall despite his words, and she realised that they were not entirely tears of happiness – tears of guilt mixed with them as well.

"Remus – I – you know that I don't believe in love, but I want to, really I do. Especially ever since I heard what Tonks, because, you know, its true. You deserve someone who can say she loves you and means it. But I'm so confused right now, because Sirius was sure that I loved you, but – but, why can't I just believe?"

She rested her head on his shoulder again and he continued to stroke her hair.

"Sirius knew?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Well, Rose," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice, "If Sirius believed you were in love, then his judgement is good enough for me."

"Really?" she asked, looking into his eyes, "Why would you trust his judgement so much?"

He smiled, "Because, he was observant enough to realise that you cared for me when I myself was totally oblivious. And if anyone knows the difference between a fling and the real thing, it's our Sirius."

Rose could not help but smile. He was had a point.

"But how can I be in love if I don't even believe in it?"

"Rose, you know that my speciality is Defence Against the Dark Arts don't you? Not quiet the background that leaves one an expert in the art of love, is it? That's more Albus' forte… Though some how I don't imagine it would be altogether appropriate to ask him about this. So, I would wager that maybe it doesn't matter that you don't believe in love. Maybe love won't wait for you to figure it out? It comes in uninvited, when ever it sees a likely candidate and somehow settles itself into the persons heart… growing over time… whether they are aware of it or not."

"Uh huh," Rose said, raising her eyebrows and smiling flirtatiously, "Maybe you should stick with handling boggarts, Remus. Your inner hopeless romantic is kind of scaring me."

He looked at her in mock horror, "No? Well, we can't have that! Maybe this will fix it."

And with that, he nudged her face away from his shoulder and lower his lips to hers, kissing her in a way that made Rose weak at the knees. Before Remus pulled away, however, she did, as a thought suddenly occurred to her.

Remus looked a little disappointed, "Why'd you stop?"

"Um, Remus? Don't you have a date with Tonks right about now?"


	36. Guilt

**DISCLAIMER **- Some people (die hard Tonks fans, specifically) are likely to be disappointed with this chapter. Die hard Tonks haters are likely to be very, _very _happy. I'd like everyone to take the middle ground. I know that what Rose and Remus did was not ideal - but hey, that's real life. Some times you have to do bad things to prevent worse things from happening, and that is the reasoning Rose used when coming up with her plan. Based on her life experience, she thinks what she did is better for Tonks than for her to be utterly devastated and shed countless tears because he choose Tonks over her. And of course, no real person is perfect, and I think Rose deserves a turn to do something that she did because she felt it was right, even if other people might disagree! It's called being human, even if she is part veela! Now, with that in mind, on with the story.

* * *

Rose was in the room she had rented out, pacing nervously as she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was eight fifteen. She bit her lip, wondering what was taking Remus so long and whether she was a fool for ever agreeing to this risky set up. For Remus was currently down stairs in the customer area of the Three Broomsticks with none other than his date for the evening, Nymphadora Tonks. The image of them walking happily out of the pub without her, hand in hand crossed her mind.

She shook her head. Stop thinking like that, she told herself reproachfully. Instead, she forced herself to remember the look of regret on Remus' face when she had informed him that he had a date to go to. He had admitted to her that the only reason he had accepted the date was to prove to Tonks how very boring, unrefined and socially rejected he was, in the hope that she might move on from him. Rose could not help but kiss him again after he told her that he had never had any interest in Tonks, though he did admit that his jealousy over Lachlan was the deciding factor that made him give up his hesitancy of accepting the offer.

"So what should I do now?" he had asked, "Obviously, I wasn't expecting us to be together again, or I wouldn't have accepted the date."

"Well, I think we could use it to our advantage, actually," Rose had suggested cunningly.

"How so?"

"Stick with the date, as planned. Make her question why she ever liked you to start off with, without being too obvious, of course, or hurting her," she added. She was warming up a little to Tonks now that she knew she was no real competition at all.

"But what if it doesn't work?" he asked doubtfully.

"Oh, it will work, Remus," Rose said, smiling slyly, "I didn't spend all that time with Sirius in Grimmauld Place for nothing… I'd say I've got a few tricks up my sleeve to pull, so listen, heres what we have to do…"

And so Remus had accepted her plan before he had hurried of to his date, twenty minutes late (which was, of course, simply part of the plan). Remus had felt guilty about it all, but after Rose had reminded him that the alternative was for Tonks to find out he had liked Rose all along and be left heart-broken, he decided that letting her move on, even if it were by means of a deceptive date, was certainly much kinder.

Rose looked at the time again. Eight twenty. She looked back at a bubbling goblet on the coffee table and the ring on her finger. It was the very same ring she used to wear when patrolling at the Department of Mysteries – plain silver with a black stone. Remus was wearing the other one – she had instructed him to turn it red when he was ready for her to come down and 'rescue' him, or as Rose preferred to think of it, ruin his date and convince Tonks that it was time to leave, preferably all without her wanting a goodnight kiss.

"Hurry up, Remus," she muttered impatiently.

Eight thirty five pm. Her ring turned red. She could hardly contain her cry of excitment. She took the ring off, picked up the goblet, added a single light-brown hair to it, watched the polyjuice potion turn into a rather repulsive looking red-brown substance. Rose wrinkled her nose, but drank it all in one go anyway. When the transformation was over, she looked at her self in the mirror. Short, light brown hair, freckles, plain brown eyes and a long face. She was staring at the face of her cousin, who, though no where near as pretty as herself (since she was not part-veela), still had a kind of cuteness to her. Rose carefully changed into a revealing outfit consisting of a short skirt and a warm top that showed off her stomach, the likes of which she would never have worn publicly as her normal self, while hoping dearly that her cousin never hears of this little escapade. She cast a charm to alter her manner of speaking from her cousins strong Australian accent to a Yorkshire accent, tested out her voice, and quickly cast another few spells to apply some make up, hoping to give her cousin a less than innocent look to her.

Finally satisfied with her appearance, Rose sneaked out of her room, left the building through the back entrance and made her way cautiously towards the front, where she took a deep breath, steadied herself and entered the pub casually, and ordered a drink from Rosemerta. Once she had moved on to serve other customers, Rose allowed her eye to wander around the room in search of her target, and spotted them nestled in a quick cover at the back of the pub. Roes could not help but notice how distinctly awkward Tonks looked while Remus chattered away. She bit back a grin as she watched from the corner of her eye, but could not help but grimace when Remus awkwardly spilled his drink all over Tonks' dress, causing the poor girl to excuse herself and hurry to the nearest bathroom. This was it – her sign.

She stood up and made her way over to Remus' table, taking the seat that Tonks had just vacated. It gave her a perfect view of the corridor that Tonks had just disappeared through, so she would know immediately when Tonks was back. Up close, she realised that Remus was looking extremely wary.

"Rose?" he whispered uncertainly.

"Shh," she replied, looking around, "It's Bethany, remember? So, how's everything going?"

"Terrible," he said guiltily, "I think she's having a terrible time. I feel horrible."

Rose patted his hand reassuringly, "I know, Remus, I feel pretty bad too, but honestly, it's better this way. So, which tricks did you pull?"

Remus sighed, "I was late – that had her anxious enough, and I didn't even bother apologising or offering an excuse. Then I didn't comment on how lovely she looked, instead I asked her is she had something stuck in her teeth – which she didn't, mind you."

"Oh, I bet she didn't like that. How embarrassing," Rose grimaced.

"I know, you should have seen her blush. Well, anyway, then we came in and I let her buy the drinks and dinner, shrugging and telling her I couldn't afford it, which, by the way, I could, since Sirius left a little of his inheritance. Well, and ever since then I've been boring her with the most boring topics under the sun I could find, pretending to find all the topics she started utterly uninteresting, eating like a slob and purposely letting her catch me looking at other women. And now, it seems we are ready for the closing finale, right?"

"Yeh, although, I feel really, really guilty about this right about now," she admitted, "But, better for her to think you're a loser than for her to still want to be with you when she find out we are together."

Rose leaned forward and cross her legs, getting ready for when Tonks returns.

"Remember, when I start talking rubbish, it means Tonks is coming," she told him.

But before he could reply, she spotted a blushing Tonks making her way back into the bar and quickly turned her gaze back to Remus and let out a loud laugh.

"Oh, Remus, dear, you're too funny!" she exclaimed, winking at him suggestively, "Don't be so silly, of course I don't mind!"

From the corner of her eye, she saw Tonks standing stock still with in hearing distance of her and Remus.

"So, tell me, Remus, what are you doing here? Not with a client, I hope? You haven't forgotten about me too already, have you? Oh, but you're a lovely young man, I'm sure the ladies are all flocking to get to you! I'd better watch out I still want to stand a chance."

"Don't be silly, Bethany, dear," Remus replied, though nervously, for which Rose was glad for it added to the authenticity of it all.

Rose winked at her him again and looked up, allowing herself to look at Tonks, who was staring at her in shock. She expression was almost enough to force Rose to stop right then. But she did not.

"Oh, hello, dear, can we help you?" she asked loudly, pretending to be ignorant of who she is.

Remus turned around and looked at Tonks and he paled rather significantly. Rose knew thatit was no act.

"Oh, Nymphadora, hello. Um, Bethany, this is my date for the evening, Nymphadora. Nympharoda, this is Bethany, my uh, well, friend."

"Friend?" Rose asked, laughing and raising her eyebrows, "Honestly Remus, I don't have many friends who do the things you do to me –" Remus and Tonks both looked mortified "– but still, I guess friends is probably a more appropriate term to use than, well, other, more accurate terms, especially when in company. Well, I'd better be off, Remus, dear. Oh, and I must thank you for teaching me that contraception charm! You won't believe how many times it's come in handy, it's not like I can carry a contraception potion with me where ever I go, and you never know when –"

"Ahem."

The sound of a very, very red Remus clearing his throat loudly cut Rose off.

"Oh, yes, sorry, Remus, I do tend to carried away a little too much, don't I?" she said, with a faked exasperated sigh, "Well, as I was saying best be off. Oh, and Alice wanted me to thank you for that night back in –"

"Bethany," Remus said warningly.

"Oh, yes, yes, sorry Remus, but she did say she would have the full payment ready in a weeks time. Well, it was nice meeting you love," she said, turning to Tonks and offering her a hand to shake, which Tonks ignored as she was too busy starring between her and Remus in horror, "What did you say her name was, Remus? Mynfotara? Well anyway, lovely seeing you again Remus, and don't stay hidden away for so long, it's a hassle having to settle for anyone less than you!"

And with that she turned on her heal and hurried out of the pub, half of her beaming for the brilliant display she had pulled off, and the other half feeling terribly guilty by the look on Tonks' face. She chanced a single glance back before she left, only to see Tonks slap Remus across the face, which made her wince, but gave her a grim satisfaction that her job had been well done.

She hurriedly apparated to the back of the building before Tonks could catch up with her and give her a piece of her mind and made her way to her room, luckily managing to ensure that no one saw her. She immediately drank the polyjuice potion remedy and removed her make up, just in time to hear Remus slip into her room with the spare key she'd given him. There was a red mark on his cheek from where Tonks had slapped him and he looked mortified.

"Remus?" Rose asked, biting her lip and gentle rubbing his sore cheek.

He walked past her without saying a word and sat down on the sofa, staring blankly at the floor.

"I didn't think it would feel this bad," he admitted, and Rose knew he was not talking about the slap.

Rose sat down next to time and held his hand reassuringly.

"I know, but it had to be done, you know that. I saw the slap. What did Tonks say?"

Remus looked absolutely ashamed of him self, and buried his head in his hands while his elbows rested on his knees.

"She said she couldn't believe that all this time she had fancied a two-faced, lying, male prostitute and that she wanted nothing to do with me ever again. Then I was about to ask her if she could keep it quiet since no one knew about it but that was when she slapped me, said I should be ashamed of myself and that she couldn't bare to be the one to tell anyone something as lowly as this, so she'll be keeping quiet about it," he said, sighing dejectedly, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about my reputation being ruined now."

"There, there, Remus," Rose said, sighing herself and massaging the back of his neck with her hand, "Tonks said she won't say anything, so it's all good, and she didn't even give you a chance to deny it, so I guess when it all cools down and she's really moved on, you can tell her that it wasn't true and that the woman was just an old friend who once fancied you but couldn't have you and so decided to ruin your love life ever since."

That comment elicited a small laugh from Remus, and he sat back up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into that, Rose," he said in mild amusement, "You really did spend too much time with Sirius, didn't you?"

"Mmm," she said non-commitedly, too busy focusing on the feel of his breath on neck to respond.

"I'm just glad it worked," he admitted, "When do you think we can let everyone know that we're together again?"

"Not for a while," she muttered distractedly, leaning in closer to him, "Anyway, we have Grimmauld Place to ourselves now, so it doesn't really matter… no need to be sneaking behind anyone's back or hoping we aren't caught together."

"So you're not going to stay here, then?" he asked with mock surprise, raising his eyebrows at the small room.

"Of course not, not now that you're there," she said, grinning.

"Hmm, if I recall correctly, my presence was the very reason you left to begin with," he replied with an amused smile.

"Don't get cocky, now, Remus," she said in a mock stern voice, before kissing him quickly on the lips, "I could always decide to come back here if someone doesn't behave himself."

"Who? Me?" he said innocently, "I think we both know who we need to be looking out for, after all, you're the one who just jumped all over me back at the beach."

"Yes, but you enjoyed it," she said, and then frowned, "You did enjoy it didn't you?" she asked concernedly.

Remus laughed, "I'd be a liar if I said I didn't. In fact…"

But he did not finish his sentence. Instead, he leaned forward and captured her mouth with his, kissing her, to which Rose eagerly responded, neither of them breaking the kiss as Remus pulled her into his lap, her legs straddling his. Rose lost track of how long they stayed like that, neither of them wanting to pull away, until Rose finally did in order to catch her breath.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said after a while.

"Definitely," he agreed, hugging her closer to himself as she still straddled his lap, "Interesting outfit, by the way," added with roguish smile as his eyes flickered over her body.

It was then that Rose realised she was still wearing the revealing outfit from earlier. She could not help but blush slightly.

"Oh, I didn't realise I was still wearing this, hold on, I'll go change," she said, and she made to stand up but Remus arms wrapped around her waist, preventing her from moving.

"Why? I like it," he whispered suggestively.

Rose smiled flirtatiously, and whispered into his ear, "I can tell. You seem to be enjoying yourself; though perhaps a little too much for someone I've only been together with for less than a few hours, which is why I think I'm going to change now."

"You can't blame a man for trying," he smiled in defeat, removing his hands from her waist and letting her slip away into her room to change. Rose could feel his eyes on her as she walked away.

She quickly put on some more suitable clothes and hurried back to his side, not wanting to be separated from him.

"Stay the night?" she asked as she slipped down by his side.

"I don't know," he said hesitantly, "I don't think this couch would be all too comfortable…"

The suggestion in his tone was not lost on Rose.

"If you wanted to share my bed, you could've just asked" she said, rolling her eyes amusedly.

It was his turn to blush this time, "I wasn't suggesting anything like that –"

Rose raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "I'm sure Remus. But you can stay anyway, as long as you don't try any funny business, i.e. clothes stay on, understood?"

His blush deepened even more, "Rose, I was not planning on –"

"Merlins beard, Remus. You're so bashful. I was just messing with you. Besides, it's not like we could share a bed at head quarters, someone might notice, so might as well make the most of it now, right?"

"Deal. I'll just have to make up some excuse as to why we were both missing last night if anyone notices," he agreed, his blush lessening, "Besides, I'm sure we can come up with something once you move back in."

"We can tell them Kreacher set us up," Rose suggested.

Remus laughed, "Right. I'm sure we can come up with something better than that. But do you really think we would have much trouble if someone figured it out before we're ready to let people know?"

"Of course, it depends on who that person is," Rose replied, frowning slightly, "I mean, I only told Lachlan to ask me again in a few months time because I didn't have the heart to say no directly. I don't think he'd be too happy if he knew I never intended to accept the offer."

"Oh," said Remus in realisation, "So that's why you told him that."

"Yes," Rose said, grinning sheepishly, "I guess you thought I actually liked him or something, didn't you?"

Remus laughed, "Yes, and then I got jealous, as you so kindly put it earlier."

"Still, I never actually promised him anything, and he is kind of used to loosing out to you, isn't he? So I don't think he will be a big problem. Besides, he hardly knows me. I guess the real problem is making sure Tonks doesn't find out until she doesn't care anymore."

"Which means we should make sure no one else knows either," Remus pointed out, "because they might accidentally let it slip and Tonks might find out. Anyway, we can worry about that later, right now I think we should be making the most of the private time we have together, wouldn't you say?"

And as Remus pulled her back into his lap, Rose could not help but smile in approval.

* * *

When Rose awoke the next morning, it took her a few moments to realise why she was sharing her bed with Remus Lupin. Just when she was building up enough panic to hastily push him on to the floor, she remembered the events of the previous night, and a spark of happiness lit up in her heart, followed quickly by a spark of guilt.

"Morning Rose," said Remus, smiling sleepily at her as he lay on his side besides her.

"Morning," Rose muttered, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not to long, ten minutes maybe," he said, and then he went quiet for a moment before saying, "Rose, I suppose we did do the right thing last night, with Tonks, I mean? You don't think it would have been better to tell the truth?"

Rose frowned, "I though we already went through this?"

Remus sighed, "I know – but she just looked so shocked and angry, I just thought –"

"Wait?" Rose interrupted, frowning in confusion, "Shocked and angry? Didn't she look upset? Sad?"

"No," Remus said, his eyes questioning her, "Why?"

"That's surprising, though you're right, I don't remember her looking upset at all, just angry as you said, and shocked," Rose mused, "Anyway, Remus, look, what else could we have done? If we told her the truth she would have been totally depressed. I mean, the girl lost for morphing powers for almost eight months because you wouldn't go out with her, imagine what she'd do if she found out you love me and not her? She'd be devastated, utterly devastated. She might not get over it for ages, months, maybe years. Not to mention she'd probably hate me. I remember what it was like when I lost you Remus, it was the worst time of my life. Is that really what you want Tonks to go through? A major depression?"

"Well, no… but I mean –"

"And not to mention," Rose added interrupting him when the thought occurred to her, "She would probably still hope that you and I might break up and that she would be able to get with you. Remus, there's nothing that would stop a person moving on as much as hope does. Trust me, I know. And it hurts like hell. At least this way she will be angry for a bit and then she'll get over you a lot sooner than she would have if you just told her you and I got together. This way, she'll be a little hurt for a while, but it's better than her being hurt in the long run. It's like Dumbledore always says, love is one of the strongest types of magic. And he's right."

"You seem to have given this a lot of thought," Remus commented, a small amused smile playing at his lips.

"Of course I did, Remus, you don't think I would have honestly pulled out the big guns with out knowing it was the best option? I feel terrible for doing that to Tonks, I'm not a cruel person, but I know in the long run this will hurt her a lot less."

"I hope you're right," he said, "If this helps her move on more easily, then I guess it will be worth it if she thinks I'm some kind of male prostitute," he added with a grimace.

Before Rose could respond, there was a tapping on her bedroom window. An owl was hovering in the air with a letter tighted to its leg.

"I'll get it," she said, slipped out of bed and let the owl in. It flew away as soon as Rose detached the letter. She froze when she saw who the letter was from.

"It's from Tonks!" she cried, shoving the letter into Remus, who looked thoroughly surprised.

"What?" he said as he took the paper in his hands and sat up.

"It's for you, from Tonks," she said, sitting down next to time, "Well, hurry up and read it!"

Remus, looking worried, quickly opened the letter and read it while Rose watched on nervously. To her relief, his expression gradual changed from worry to relief as he progressed through the letter, finally developing into a satisfied, relieved smile by the time he finished.

"What did she say?" Rose asked excitedly.

"She said she's sorry she slapped me, and now that she is over the initial shock she can think more clearly and that she is disappointed that I chose to go down that path, but that it isn't any of her business and that I'm better than that and she advices me against it. She also said she obviously does not know me as well as she thought she did and that she thinks it is time for her to move on and that she hopes we can still be friends!" he said happily, "And she reiterated that she won't be telling anyone about what she found out. I can't believe it! She's taken this all so maturely, and it's almost exactly what you said would happen. She doesn't seem upset at all, she even made a joke that I'm obviously not the tame marauder I've let everyone think I am!"

Rose laughed, "See, Remus. Didn't I tell you it'd be alright? I should be paid for this kind of thing."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Don't get too ahead of yourself! Now come on, we need to get ready to return to Grimmauld place before anyone realises we're gone – especially Tonks."

Rose shuddered at the thought as she followed Remus out of bed, but then she smiled. Waking up by his side was certainly something worth getting used to.

* * *

**A/N - Well, this is the second last chapter! The next chapter is the epilogue. Sad, I know. Please let me know via review if there are any loose ends that you think need fixing, because I'm sure I'm likely to forget heaps. Thanks!**

**Also, ****if I write a full length Riddle/Hermione story, from Hermiones PoV where the trio go back to Riddle's time in school, most likely when the Chamber of Secrets is opened, will you read it? Or do you prefer I write a Remus/Tonks fic, about how they got together? Please vote on the poll on my profile page!  
**


	37. Epilogue

**Epilogue - Three years later**

Remus was shaking as he sat, almost motionless, in the waiting room of St Mungos hospital. He had long lost track of how long he had been there, waiting – hoping – for the news that she was fine. At one stage he had vaguely wondered whether he should have informed her family and friends that she was in hospital, but he quickly dispelled that idea. Company was not something he could deal with at that moment. And, of course, what if the young nurse came to him while he was away writing the letters? She came to see him on regular intervals, updating him on the situation. Apparently she was improving and the chances of her dying have been practically eliminated. The news relieved him greatly; it provided some relief to his guilt, a welcome reprieve from the constant dwelling on how deathly pale and contorted with pain her face had been, and how much blood she had lost. He could not help but feel that part of it was his own fault.

"Mr Lupin?"

The sound of the voice startled him out of his thoughts. His eyes quickly darted to across the room and landed on the nurse. She stood there looking extremely tired, her clothes blood stained in places, her black fringe sticking to her sweaty forehead, but nonetheless, she was smiling. He abruptly stood up, as he had done the last five times the nurse had come to see him, hoping for good news.

"Your wife is ready to see you now," she said excitedly, "Congratulations, it's a perfectly healthy, non-lycanthropic little girl. And Rose is doing just fine."

Remus felt like his knees might give up on him.

"Non-lyncatrophic?" he repeated, feeling thoroughly dumbfounded, the tension of the past nine months lifting slowly off his shoulders, "A girl? Healthy?"

"Yes, Mr. Lupin," the nurse replied, nodding and smiling understandably, "All the tests came out negative. There isn't a drop of werewolf in her."

A happiness of unknown bounds spread through him, followed closed by relief.

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you so much!" he gushed, as he enthusiastically wrung her arms.

She grinned back at him, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

"Come along then, I'm sure you want to meet the latest addition to your family," she said, and lead him towards his wife's room.

"Rose is fine?" he asked as he followed. He had been extremely worried by all the blood she had lost before he managed to transport her to the hospital. It was not normal, as far as he know.

"Yes, she's fine. She's just tired; after all, she did just give birth. She lost a lot more blood than was healthy, but she's taken a blood replenishing potion since so there is nothing to worry about."

Remus' grin only broadened at that reply, and he could not wait to see his daughter.

_I'm a father_, he thought, as he followed the nurse to his wife's room, _I'm a father to a healthy little girl! And she's not a werewolf!_

"Just through this door here, I'll let you go in alone, so you can be alone with your wife and child."

Remus hurried into the room so quickly, so carelessly, that it was a miracle he did not trip over his own two feet, and then stopped abruptly when he saw his wife. Rose was seated in her bed, still looking sickly pale, except for her rosey-red cheeks. The hair around her face was drenched in sweat and tears were silently streaming down her face as she looked down at the tiny baby that she held in her arms, a look of pure amazement and gratitude etched into the face that Remus loved more than anything else. He approached, his legs hardly supporting him, and he stood by her side.

"Isn't she beautiful?" she said, her voice chocked with emotion, the smile on her face as large as his own.

Remus looked at his daughter, and his breath caught in his throat. Her soft, brown hair was sitting flat on her head; her eyes were closed as she slept; she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He felt the emotion building up inside him, the tears prickly in his eyes. He blinked rapidly, and then started when he felt a hand on his arm, but he did not look away from his daughter.

"It's okay to cry sometimes, Remus," she whispered, "This is one of those times."

Her words were the last straw, and a tear slipped down his cheek. Her hand came up to wipe it away, and he composed himself.

"She's beautiful," he said, "Just like her mother," he added, as he lent down, gently brushed a stand of hair away from her tired face and kissed her on her cheek, his heart filled with gratitude for the gift she had bestowed him with.

Rose smiled at him and then looked back at the baby.

"She's precious, she's wonderful… she's so – so tiny! And she's ours, Remus. I can't believe it. After all these years, finally! A child to call our own! We're _parents_ now. Parents! I'm a mother. A mother, Remus," Her eyes lit up with those words, and she added softly, "And you're a father. Do you want to hold her?"

"Of course!" Remus replied, and Rose careful transferred the little bundle of what appeared to be mostly blankets into his arm. Remus felt his chest swell with happiness and awe. It was a different type of happiness, unlike any he had ever experienced before. He kissed her forehead carefully.

"Rose, she's so beautiful, just look at her! I just can't believe it – she's my daughter. My _daughter_. Who would have thought? Remus John Lupin, a father!"

"I know, unbelievable, isn't it?" Rose said, smiling fondly, "What are we going to name her?"

Remus looked at her pointedly, "Rose, darling, after everything you went through to give life to this little miracle, I think I'm going to leave it completely up to you. Name her anything you want. That is, of course, if you've manage to cut down the list? I don't much fancy naming our daughter Jasmine Violet Daisy Azalea Daphne Marigold Lavender Lupin."

Rose smiled; a suspicious smile that Remus had long learned not to trust, "Actually, I say we name her Romolus."

Remus gave a hearty laugh, but cut it short when he remembered his daughter was sleeping in his arms, "That isn't even a girl's name! Besides," Remus said, his eyes flicking back to his daughter and smiling proudly, "She isn't a werewolf; or so I've been told. The tests have all confirmed that."

"I know, didn't I tell you she wouldn't be?" she asked, "You worried for nothing."

She sat silently for a moment, watching her daughter in contemplation.

"For your information, I have narrowed down the list," she said matter-of-factly.

"Oh? Let's hear it then," Remus asked curiously.

"Violet Azalea Lupin. What do you think?" she asked, imploring him earnestly.

"I think it's lovely. Violet Azalea Lupin it is," he agreed softly.

Rose smiled gratefully, "Thanks honey. Now hand over little Violet and go write to everyone and tell them I had the baby! You haven't written to anyone yet, have you? My parents will be angry if you keep them waiting any longer, you know it will take them a few days before they will be able to come into the country. I wouldn't want little Violet to miss out on meeting her grand parents."

Remus left, though reluctantly. It was torture to be away from his sleeping daughter so soon; even if it was for a few moments. Knowing that it would take too long to write letters to every name that was flickering through his mind, Remus decided to quickly apparate to the Burrow instead, where he knew the whole Weasley clan, Harry, Hermione and Rose's recently acquired owl were staying.

Remus could hardly contain his excitement as he knocked loudly on the Burrows front door. The door swung open to reveal a surprised looking Molly, but after her first look at his face, Remus knew that there was no need to communicate with words. Molly knew. She always did.

"She had the baby?" she squeaked breathlessly.

"Yes!" Remus exclaimed joyfully, feeling a surge of pride, "And it's not a werewolf!"

"Oh, congratulations!" she cried, pulling him into a tight hug before dragging him inside, where he was meet by the horde of Weasley children, Harry and Hermione, the girls all hugging him and boys wringing his hands enthusiastically.

"Oh, Remus, I'm so happy for you!"

"Mum! Mum! Can we go see the baby mum? _Please_, –"

"Blimey, a baby!"

"Professor Lupin, a father, wait until the students hear about this!"

"Is it a girl or boy, Remus?" asked Harry as his wrung his hand, smiling broadly.

"It's a girl," Remus beamed, "We've named her Violet Azalea – Rose finally decided on something. And Harry, you'll be God-father, won't you?"

Harry stared him in awe.

"Me? God-f-father?" he stuttered.

"Of course you, who else? You'd be perfect!"

"I – I – of course I'll do it!" Harry exclaimed, as he beamed in wonder.

"Thank you, Harry," Remus replied, clapping him on the shoulder, "I knew I could count on you."

Remus hurried up stairs to write the letter to Rose's parents, before rushing down stairs again and asking Molly to inform all their friends for them, if it was not too much hassle.

"Don't be silly, Remus, of course it's not a hassle – now let's see," she said, almost to her self as she looked around for some paper and parchment, "I'll owl Arthur and have him inform all your friends at the ministry himself, well, except Tonks, of course, she's still on her honeymoon with Lachlan, oh, and I'll have to tell Bill and Fleur – she'll be delighted. And I suppose Hestia will already know – and, oh, how could I forget your werewolf friends and the Hogwarts staff –"

Satisfied that Molly knew what she was doing, Remus hurried back to the hospital, where he found Rose and the baby sleeping. He kissed Rose gently on the head before sitting down by Violet's tiny cot. He watched her quietly, inwardly contemplating with awe at the fact that this was his daughter – his blood and flesh. She was beautiful, and he knew she would have been even if she were not part veela.

Meanwhile, Rose, who had awaken when he husband kissed her, was watching him. Her heart was filled with a kind of contentment that she had never known before. She was there with her husband – Remus Lupin himself, the man she had long given up hope of being with – and her daughter – a daughter she had believed she would never, ever be blessed with. She blinked back the tears that prickled behind her eye lids, and focused back on her husband, watching him fondly as he lovingly watched his daughter.

"Remus?" she said softly.

He started, not having realised she was awake and turned to face her, smiling in a way that made her heart race.

"Yes, love?" he asked in a hushed voice, obviously not wanting to wake the baby.

Rose smiled.

"I love you," she whispered.

And she meant it.

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**Well, thats the end of it! Hope you all liked that! Thanks everyone for sticking with this story for so long, and for all those who reviewed! Means a lot to me! Hopefully I'll be able to produce something like this again. Don't forget to vote in the poll on my userpage about whether my next fic should be a Remus/Tonks or Hermione/Tom Riddle! The results will very like affect which story I write next. Also, I'm unlikely to start writing that fic for a few months, so if you plan to read any more of my future work, it will be easier to just add me to your story alerts. I won't be working on anything in the mean time (other than a few one-shots - maybe) so don't worry about your inbox being flooded by alerts. And don't forget to review this chapter please! Thanks all!**

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